Work Text:
Edward walked into class, he couldn’t pay attention to the teacher, he was in awe and confusion by the dark haired beauty in her 20s sitting near him
Why is she so beautiful? he thought
The beauty looked at him
Why is that pale creep staring at me? Does my bedhead hairstyle not right? she thought
Unknown to them a man in his 20s stood in the forest staring at them both,
He doesn’t deserve her he thought.
After school the three met up. They all stared at each other before Bella spoke up,
“I’m just your average teenager who happens to look hot.”
“I’m your adult looking teenager who thinks brooding is cool.” Edward said
“I’m a werewolf stalker, I mean I’m a stalker.” Jacob said
“I love you bella.” Edward declared.
“No I love you Bella.” Jacob said.
“Please don’t fight over me, I’m not that pretty, I wear baggy clothes and live with my dad who is oblivious to everything.” Bella cried
“Ok then.” Edward said before kicking Jacob in the nuts and picked him up and threw him into a car before taking Bella’s hand and running to a mansion in the woods.
“Come Bella, let’s start a family by doing it and having it lasting five minutes.” Edward said
“Ok Edward I don’t care that you’re a pale creep who stares at me in class.” Bella said. They two kissed and they ended up in Edwards bed
Two minutes later
“Bella I’m not just a pale creep…..I’m also a vampire.” Edward said.
“I find you sexy now also I’m pregnant.” Bella said smiling.
Jaccob then burst through the window landing on their bed shirtless,
“Bella! I was wrong! It is not you I love but your baby!” Jacob cried.
“No, I won't let you marry my baby! It is my baby!” Edward yelled standing on the bed fully nude.
The boys started yelling until a cry was heard. They looked to see Bella passed out on the bed surrounded in baby blood and a baby crying between her legs.
“My baby!”
“My bride!”
Both yelled at the same time. They stared at each other before shouting, “War!”
Edward then healed Bella and their baby looked like a baby picture gone through ‘realistic’ too many times. The two sides meet on a snow mountain for some reason where they stare at each other as Bella stares into the void for a long long long time. She blinks and tells them of the future.
“Yeah that seems really bad. I'll come for you when you’re older my bride don’t get any boyfriends or I’ll kill them!” Jacob declared as the now seven year girl stared at him. He turned into a wolf and walked off leaving the dark haired beauty and her 30s looking husband and their daughter in the snow to stare into the snow cold void.
The End