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Gojo and Suguru were lounging in Suguru’s room, waiting for Shoko for their regular hang out session they usually had in their free time, the two of them sprawled out on the bed. Despite how much space they had he always huddled as close to Suguru as acceptable, drawn to him like gravity. They were both leaning on the wall with their backs, shoulders touching, Gojo’s propped up leg brushing against Suguru’s knee in the cross legged position. Gojo hoped Shoko wouldn’t notice how close they were actually sitting.
The TV was on, just waiting for a disc to be inserted into the DVD player and various snacks and drinks were laid out on the desk. Shoko entered the room without as much as a knock, made a beeline for the desk and plopped down on a carpet by the bed, hoarding a few snacks to herself.
Suguru was very adamant on this no eating in bed rule of his which was in line with the tidiness of his room, which Gojo had no idea how a teenage boy could possibly maintain. Thanks to the rule Shoko usually made herself comfortable on the rug which left more space for the two of them on the bed so he didn’t really mind it.
‘Hello to you too.’ Gojo said jokingly.
‘I had to treat Yaga today.’ She mentioned, holding a matcha Pocky in her hand and staring at it. Her mood was obviously sour. ‘He got beat up pretty badly on a mission.’
‘He’s gonna be fine, right?’
‘Of course he’s gonna be fine, our girl Shoko fixed him up.’ Gojo bumped their shoulders together.
Shoko hung her head low. ‘Yeah he’ll be alright but the sorcerer that was with him, he wasn’t so lucky.’
They all fell silent. Shoko had examined bodies brought back from missions on multiple occasions, it was no big deal to her anymore. Her even bringing it up could only mean that the man died while receiving treatment.
‘Shoko…’ Suguru started but she just shook her head.
‘I’m fine. Well, at least I will be.’ she paused for a second. ‘It’s just that, it’s a real eye-opener, you know? It made me realize that there is no escaping death. I mean, obviously, everyone has to die someday but for people like us, there is literally no escaping it, it follows everywhere sorcerers go. Can happen anytime to anyone.’ They just let her ramble, not really knowing how to respond.
‘That’s kinda in the job description.’ Gojo blurted after a beat of awkward silence.
Shoko’s eyes shot up to him. He instantly knew he said something wrong.
Suguru put his hand on his shoulder and gently pushed him back to lean against the wall. ‘Just because it’s expected, doesn’t make it right, Satoru.’
‘And besides, not all of us come from great families, fated to become great sorcerers from the day we were born. To some of us this whole world is a new reality we have to get accustomed to. So excuse me if I’m upset after someone just died on my table.’ Her voice was raised but only slightly, mostly with annoyance not real anger.
‘That’s not what I meant...’ He sighed and sunk even deeper in his seat. Suguru’s hand didn’t leave his shoulder, offering comfort of sorts. ‘I just wanted to say that from the get go they tell us how dangerous it is and there is nothing we can really do about it.’
Suguru gave him a look. ‘But don’t you think it’s kinda sad we can’t do anything about it?
‘It’s okay, I wouldn’t expect him to understand it anyway.’ She shrugged.
Gojo gave both of his friends a confused look. ‘What do you mean I wouldn’t understand?’
‘You are untouchable Satoru.’ Suguru put his hand away and just deeply looked into his blue eyes..‘You don’t have to worry about dying when there is no opponent that is truly on your level.’
Shoko nodded her head. ‘With your power you’re basically invincible. You are the only one who doesn’t have the threat of getting killed in action constantly looming over you.’
‘I don’t have to worry for myself. But that doesn’t mean I’m not concerned for others.’ He looked down and fumbled with his hands. ‘Besides, there definitely is someone who could take me out in battle if it came down to it.’
‘Who?’ Gojo briefly glanced at Suguru before turning to Shoko to answer her.
‘It doesn’t matter. I don’t think it would ever come to that anyway.’
Shoko was about to push him but Suguru swiftly cut in. ‘So you just plan on never dying?’
‘That is my exact plan, yes.’ He smirked.
‘That is bold even for you.’ Shoko scoffed.
‘The longer I stay alive the longer I can protect you two. Not that you particularly need any special protection. But like I said, contrary to popular opinion, I do care about the people around me.’ He fell silent and when his friends didn’t reply for a bit he decided it’s time to change the subject. ’Okay how about we stop talking about dying and watch that movie we rented last week.’
Suguru diverted his gaze to Shoko. ‘I’m not sure-.’
‘The comedy? I’m on it.’ She got up and put the DVD into the player. She put away all the snacks, probably not having had the appetite for them even in the first place and situated herself on the bed to Geto’s right, squishing him between her and Satoru. Just a few minutes into the movie Gojo once again felt comfortable in their company after the confrontation. He sneakily linked his arms with Suguru’s and put his head on his shoulder. He could tell Shoko was smirking somewhere on his right but he didn’t care more than being relieved that she wasn’t preoccupied with their previous conversation anymore.
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Gojo silently stared at Suguru’s lifeless body. Though the person in front of him had long become a stranger, he stood there completely paralyzed by the realization that there is no coming back from this. This time it truly is the end of Geto Suguru, and it was him that dealt the final blow.
When the initial shock passed he created a dam in his mind to block out all the emotions that were inevitable to come crashing down. The fight was not over yet and he knew he couldn't afford for his sentimentality to get the best of him, not when there were still people on the battlefield that needed his help.
He lingered over the body despite the urge to get back to his students as soon as possible. But he couldn’t move away, as if his feet were cemented to the ground. He spent every day since the day of Geto’s betrayal trying to fill the void he left, and now Suguru was dead, leaving the hole gaping open. He knew he would regret this moment even more if he just up and left right away without doing something, anything. Indulging himself with the last goodbye he knelt down and cupped Suguru’s cheek, thumb stroking the still warm skin.
For a second a thought that if he could get him to Shoko on time everything would be alright appeared in his mind. He hated himself for it. And for the hold Suguru still had over him after all this time. The only reason why Shoko will be seeing his body is for an autopsy. His eyes threatened to glisten but he tried to convince himself he had no tears left to cry for a man far too gone.
This was the only way. Geto was long past the point of deserving redemption, not like he wanted it anyway. Gojo did what had to be done, and he was, in fact, the only person who was able to stop Suguru but it only made him feel worse. He felt another pang of painful regret in his chest. It was always supposed to be the two of them, the strongest sorcerers against the world. Not against each other, fighting to death.
‘How did it come to this, Suguru?’ His resolve broke just as his voice did. He wasn’t holding the tears back anymore. ‘And how come after everything I still can’t hate you?’
He regretted drifting apart from him just enough not to notice him slipping through his fingers. He condemned his actions in the crazy pursuit of his vision of the world without any non-sorcerers. Oh, how he detested that vision. He absolutely despised that he had to bring himself to do this, even if he knew it was coming for a long time. Despite how much hatred he accumulated over the years for the chain of events that led him to this exact situation, none of it was directed at the man himself. He simply could not bring himself to loathe him and it was because a part of him will always love Geto Suguru. And now he will have to live with the fact that he was the one to kill the love of his life.
Distant sounds of battle brought him back to reality. As much as he wanted to, he could not afford to linger there any longer. He affectionately brushed some hair away from the blood stained face one last time. And just like that the moment was over. He got up, dusted off his knees and took on a stone cold face expression before putting his blindfold back on, hoping it would completely hide away the fact that he just cried. He wouldn’t wanna seem emotionally compromised to the higher ups.
He will have the time to process this in full and that will be the time for him to hurt and grieve and reminisce. For now he has to get back to his students and make sure everyone is alright. Who would have thought that his sense of duty would be the one thing able to drag him away from Suguru Geto, definitely not his teenage self.
‘I guess now I’m cursed to live forever.’ he aired those words, not to himself, not to anyone. At least not anyone who could still hear him.
He did not look back.