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“How are you holdin’ up?”
Eleanor smiles at the sound of Max’ concern. “I’m alright,” she says over the phone as she packs her suitcases for her return back to London. She spent a few days there with Megan in LA which was a refreshing take on her side. She needed time away – time to cope and forget.
“Has he tried calling you?”
Eleanor frowns. “No,” she says, “I’m pretty sure he won’t.”
“That’s good…right?” Max turns apprehensive. Eleanor can’t blame him. She just got off a three year relationship and Max knows she was happy with him. He just really doesn’t know how to open the topic to Eleanor even though Eleanor know he wants to.
“I’m fine, Max,” she says, “Can we just let this go?” She feels a familiar sting in the corner of her eyes and bites her bottom lip.
“Yeah, sure,” Max says and Eleanor can feel his uneasiness. “I’ll see you when you get back here, okay?”
“Yeah,”
“Good bye, Miss Calder,”
“Bye Max,” she whispers with a small smile before she hangs up. Eleanor looks down at her sprawled out suitcase on the floor and sighs. It doesn’t feel like she can continue it now. She decides to walk back to her hotel bed and lays flat on her back as she watches the white ceiling from above. Her mind soon drifts back to that time in Australia.
“So that’s just it?” she asked, furious as a distraught Louis avoided eye contact with her. Louis continued to ignore her, his blue eyes bewildered at everything else but her as he’s lost on what else to say. “You’re not going to say anything else?”
“What do you want me to say?” Louis whispered.
Eleanor shook her head. “Well then,” she said, “Maybe we should stop.”
Louis turned to him, blue eyes wide in shock and panic. “What?”
“We should stop this,” she said, “After all, you can’t seem to – “
“It’s not that easy, Eleanor.”
“Nothing in this relationship has ever been easy.”
Louis withdrew a sigh, his face bowing down in a defeated state. “So, you want out?” he asked, peeking through his long lashes, his eyes already glazing over.
The sight made Eleanor’s heart break ten times over. Eleanor bit her bottom lip, already feeling the sting in the corner of her eyes. “Louis, I think we both do.”
Louis stayed silent, his eyes unwavering towards her and Eleanor felt like it’s piercing through her soul. She couldn’t take it. She closed her eyes and breathed in.
“I think you should go,” she said, “I’ll book my flight back home.”
“El,”
“You should really go now,” she said, opening her eyes as she walked to their shared closet in the hotel room. She didn’t look back. She couldn’t.
She heard Louis smack his lips and he said, “Alright then,” and Eleanor couldn’t miss the icy bite in his tone. Footsteps started fading away and as soon as she heard the click, tears began flowing down her cheeks and she had no control over it.
At the memory, a tear escapes the corner of Eleanor’s left eye before she could escape it. Muffling a soft sob using the back of her hand, she turns and buries her head against the soft pillow, closing her eyes and slumber soon falls upon her.
=o=
Eleanor wakes up to an annoyed Megan. Her face scrunched up in a way that shows something really pissed her off. Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, Eleanor sits up and Megan turns to her with a jolt, her newly-dyed brunette locks whipping with to her direction.
“Oh, you’re awake,”
“How long have I been out?” Eleanor asks groggily.
“Not that long,” Megan replies, “It’s raining cats and dogs out.”
“Really?” Eleanor’s brows scrunches up. She never thought it would rain in LA in this time of the year.
“Yeah, and now our flight’s being rescheduled and I really need to get back because of my schedule.” Megan runs a frustrated over her hair. On cue, her phone rings and Megan grunts in response. She raises her right pointer finger as a signal for Eleanor to wait and exits their shared hotel room with her phone against her ear.
Eleanor smiles slightly at the scene before she feels vibrations on the mattress. A dim light passes through the thin sheets on her left and Eleanor realizes it’s coming from her phone. She snatches it up and her eyes widen at the name flashing across it.
Ignoring it seems like a good idea but he kept calling. By the fifth call, Eleanor has had enough and she answers it in a hush tone, “Louis?”
“El,” He sounds breathless.
Her heart picks up at the sound. She didn’t know she missed his voice already. “Why are you calling me?”
“Go outside,” he whispers.
“W-what?”
“I said go outside,”
Eleanor’s brows pinches together. “But it’s raining,”
“So?”
Eleanor rolls her eyes. “Give me five minutes.” She holds the call and storms out of the room, a leather jacket slung over her shoulder. She slips it on just as she enters the elevator. Her mind buzzes with thoughts and expectations and she can’t decipher any of it. Her heart skips a beat as the elevator dings, signaling she’s already on the ground floor.
Footsteps heavy and careful, she walks out the elevator and into the lobby and sees the heavy rain pouring across the front area of the hotel they’re staying at. Megan wasn’t kidding when she said cats and dogs. She gets back to her phone. “I’m on the ground floor, what now?” she says to Louis.
“Wait,” he says.
“What are you – “She stops talking as soon as she spots a figure on her peripheral vision. Soaked from head to toe, Louis steps out of the shade of the palm trees. His eyes are bright and blue, his wet hair slicked back and his clothes sticking to his lean body. Eleanor gulps and mouths, You’re crazy.
Louis shrugs, his lips contorting to an easy smile and gestures her to come closer.
Eleanor shakes her head, her hand growing limp as she almost drops her phone. You’re going to get sick, she mouths to him. Louis looks at her, challenging and unyielding as he remains in his spot. Eleanor exhales a sharp breathe. She knew just how stubborn Louis Tomlinson is. She mouths, Wait, before going to the front desk and asking to use their umbrella. Once she’s handed one, she takes it in her hands and goes back to her previous spot.
Unsurprisingly, Louis is still there, hands in his front pockets. Eleanor just shakes her head as she opens up the umbrella and starts walking towards him. The breeze makes her shiver slightly as her leather boots splashes from the mini puddles that formed on the floor.
Once she’s in front of him, her borrowed umbrella providing a shade for both of them, Louis speaks up. “Thought you weren’t coming back,” Louis says, a smirk that Eleanor misses so much plays on his lips.
“What are you doing here, Louis?” she asks, getting right to the point.
Louis frowns slightly. “I’m sorry,” he says.
Eleanor blinks. “What?”
“I’m sorry nothing’s been easy,” he says, “I wish it was.”
“Louis – “
“But I-I know we can work this out somehow,” he says, his eyes glazing over, reminding Eleanor of the memory back in Australia, “Life without you is hard as fuck and I just – “Louis stops, pressing his lips in a thin line and looks down. He takes in a heavy breathe and looks up at her. “I love you.”
And right then and there, Eleanor feels like she stopped breathing.
“I need you in my life,” Louis says, “Our relationship has been anything but easy but I know – “
Eleanor places a hand over Louis’ chest. She smiles. “We can work this out.”
A big grin spreads across Louis’ face as he cups Eleanor’s face and leans down to give her a tender kiss.
Eleanor.
Eleanor pulls back, blinking as she stares at Louis’ face.
Eleanor, wake up .
She shakes her head and soon, Louis fades to black and she’s blinking up to Megan who’s smiling brightly at her. She soon realizes the white hotel ceiling facing her and sits up with a jolt.
“Whoa there,” Megan says, a grin on her beautiful face. “You need to finish packing. Our flight’s in three hours.”
“I thought it was rescheduled,” Eleanor says, her heart beating rapidly against her chest. “Isn’t it raining?”
Megan’s brows scrunches down as she gives Eleanor a one-sided smirk. “What? No! The weather looks amazing actually.”
Eleanor’s heart drops to her stomach as the realization that everything that happened was only a dream. She doesn’t know what her expression looked like but the sudden deep frown on Megan’s face says it all.
“Is something wrong?” Megan asks, concern evident in her town as she sits down next to Eleanor, their combined weight dipping the mattress even lower.
Eleanor forces a smile on her face. “No, I’m fine,” she says, turning away as she blinks back the tears already forming in her eyes. She clears her throat before saying, “I really need to start packing, Megan. Thanks for waking me up.”
“No problem,” Megan says slowly in an apprehensive tone. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just shaking out my sleepiness.” Eleanor knows she’s not buying it. Megan knows her better than that. Eleanor is just hoping she’d let it go.
Megan sighs. “Okay,” she says, “I’ll see you down by the pool. We’re going to have a final toast for this trip.”
“Sounds lovely,” Eleanor says with a wry smile. With a sad smile, Megan stands up and starts walking out the door. As soon as Eleanor sees the door closing, she heaves out a deep breath and let’s a few stray tears stream down her cheeks.
It was just a dream. Life isn’t a movie. If it was, Louis would be here, telling her she loves her and that’s everything’s going to work out.
Eleanor’s heart feels heavy and she feels broken all over again. Her subconscious played tricks with her head and she’s left with expectations and disappointment. Eleanor wipes the tears away with the back of her hand and stands up to get back to packing her suit case.
As she begins folding her clothes to make them fit, her mind wanders back to Louis – from the day they met when she was utterly charmed with a pair of blue eyes and an uplifting smile, to the day it all ended where she was met with reality and an ice cold tone. She smiles recalling the good memories and frowns slightly at the unpleasant ones. Her dream was correct that their relationship wasn’t easy but then again, she was happy.
The bad thing about her dream is that it isn’t about remembering Louis, it was the fact that it reminds her of the times they were happy. In Eleanor’s mind they should have still been happy but of course, life can never live up to that.
Recalling Louis’ happy smile only makes it more evident that it’s the good memories that hurt you the most.