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A drop of water hit Changbin’s windowsill, reminding him of the tears he had shed just days prior. Sticking a finger out, he draws a smiley face in the fog. A clatter from his room draws his attention away from his artwork and he shakes his head as he makes his way towards it.
He leans on his door frame as he watches his friend stumble around the room with several tubs of ice cream in his arms. Changbin holds in a chuckle as he watches him successfully place each of them on his bedside table, along with several spoons. The triumphant look on the brunet’s face was enough to let a giggle slip out, causing him to jump at the sound.
“What are you doing Jisung?” Changbin questioned as he pushed himself off the frame, slowly padding towards him.
“Well!” Jisung started with a flourish, “The plan for tonight is to completely forget about your ex and eat a bunch of ice cream. I thought that was pretty self-explanatory by me barging into your house with a bag of ice cream,” Jisung finishes with a tilt of his head.
Changbin lets out a laugh this time, shaking his head fondly. “You’re right, I should’ve realized this earlier. But you didn’t have to do this Jisung, I’ll be fine. Eventually,” he tacks on when he sees the skeptical look on the other’s face.
“I highly doubt that hyung, that’s why we’re going to eat this ice cream and talk about your feelings,” Jisung states as he walks around the bed to grab Changbin’s arm.
Changbin pouts. “Do we really have to?”
Jisung yanks him onto the bed and launches himself onto the older man’s body, causing him to yelp in pain.
“It’s practically an obligation hyung! In order for you to get better, you need to talk about it.”
Changbin shoves Jisung’s body off of him and groans, reaching for the tub of matcha ice cream.
He sees Jisung pump a fist in the air in victory, choosing the mango flavor for himself.
After several minutes of idle eating, Jisung swallows his spoonful and points it at Changbin.
“What annoyed you about him?”
Changbin takes another bite, then sticks his spoon into the tub.
“I don’t want to do this.”
Jisung threw his head back with a groan. “Just say the top three things hyung, it’s not that hard, I promise.”
The elder rolls his eyes. “Whenever I asked him to stop smoking around me he would just laugh and light another cigarette,” Changbin muttered with a disgusted face. “It would suck when I had something important to say and he would cut me off to say something else.”
“And lastly?” Jisung asked.
“Uhm,” Changbin huffed, “When he would order takeout at my place then leave all the trash and dishes in the living room.”
Jisung rolls his eyes in return, shaking his head as he spoons out more ice cream, “I would’ve thrown the whole man away at that point.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t at the time,” Changbin said through a mouthful of ice cream.
“Do you feel better now though? You don’t have that piece of shit clinging onto you for eternity now.”
Changbin is silent for a moment. Through all his crying and lounging around in a ratty old hoodie watching reruns of “The Office”, he never once thought to ask himself that question.
He had depended on his ex to practically feed him what emotion he was supposed to be feeling so often that he didn’t realize that his emotions were haywire in the first place. Yet, at that moment, sitting on his bed with his best friend that he loved a little bit too much, and eating separate tubs of ice cream, Changbin can conclude that he feels okay.
“I think so, it’s gonna take a while I think,” he repeats, “But I kinda feel like myself again, like the me before dating him,” Changbin finishes, nodding to himself.
Jisung looks at him warily.
“Hyung, that sounds amazing, but we don’t want you to revert back to your old ways. Because old you decided to date that prick in the first place,” Jisung shoved another spoonful of pale orange ice cream in his mouth. “What you need is to change. Like a caterpillar turning into brown mush before turning into a beautiful butterfly: You need to molt and become a beautiful flying Changbin that doesn’t date pricks that leave takeout trays in your living room.”
Changbin paused, like every muscle in his body simply stopped moving.
Jisung seemed so bright at that moment. In his neon green sweater and circular glasses. There was a bit of ice cream on his nose that he had yet to wipe off, and every cell in his body was screaming to kiss it off. To know what matcha and mango taste like combined if he swiped his tongue over Jisung’s lips.
“Do you want to know why I broke up with him?” Changbin whispered his heart was working faster than his brain.
Jisung blinked. “Uh, preferably.”
The soft touches and looks that held too much fondness flooded back into Changbin’s brain, filling his brain and heart and making him feel hot enough to melt gold.
“I was in the car with him, coming home from a night out with you and the gang, when I realized that something wasn’t right. It wasn’t the takeout boxes or that his car smelled like an old factory. It was the fact that I could only think of your smile as you sang your heart out during karaoke.”
Jisung’s eyebrows did a funny thing where they shot up then back down, then repeated that motion several times.
“I tried to think of anything he did that brought me that much happiness, but nothing came up. For most of that night, all I thought about was you and how much happier you made me that night than he ever did in those two years.”
When Changbin’s brain finally caught up to his heart and compared notes, it didn’t seem too angry at his words. While yes, he could’ve said everything a bit cleaner and flourished, he had said everything that he wanted to say. His crush that had been nestled in the center of his chest for years, bloomed that night. Pushing against his sternum and making it hard to breathe.
Looking at it now, the feeling that grew inside him took on a new color and strength. Yes, it bent and had to stretch around during the time he figured himself out, but it now shone and sparkled under the fluorescent lights of his eyes.
“Sorry, I just needed to get that off my chest,” Changbin said and took another bite of ice cream.
Changbin stares at Jisung as he swallows the matcha ice cream. The other seems to be having the least fun mental breakdown Changbin has ever seen in his life.
“You good there bro?” Now that gets a reaction.
“ Bro ! You call me bro after you practically confess your love and tell me that I’m the reason you broke up with your shitbag of a boyfriend?” Jisung spits out with no malice.
“I mean, yeah, it’s not like you like me back,” Changbin says with a blush. As he’s about to go back for another taste of matcha, he feels himself be pushed back onto his bedsheets and the taste of mango overloads his brain.
Changbin sticks his hand into Jisung’s hair and runs his fingers through the soft mess. FItting together like a puzzle piece, Jisung wraps his arms around Changbin’s neck and sighs in contentment, as if he had been waiting for decades to do this.
Jisung pulling back made Changbin want to chase after him, which is funny now because Jisung had been chasing after Changbin for years.
“I have been madly in love with you for years, you dumbass. Seeing you get together with him almost broke me honestly, so knowing that you like me back is like a breath of fresh air.”
Changbin’s brain kinda just glosses over every word JIsung says and focuses on the ice cream that is still sitting on the bed.
“Matcha and Mango are a great combo, great thinking Jisung.”
At that, Jisung flushes a deep red and climbs off of Changbin, and shoves a spoon of the mango ice cream in his mouth.
“Shut up.”