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He couldn’t lie. He was absolutely terrified to get his voice box removed. Even if it was for the better. Even if it could get fixed and half of him might go back to normal, there was also the chance it wouldn’t fixed. And with his existence being a secret, he’d be mute for the rest of his days. You never realize how important talking is until you lose the ability to do so. You can’t ask questions, make comments, voice your concern— Bonnie never realized how important it was to him. Sure, the whole voice glitching thing was annoying, but at least he could still communicate. Having to talk to Chica through blinking was miserable. There’s only so much you can do to adapt, especially as an animatronic who doesn’t have much access to outside knowledge. His best idea was to hope that maybe the others could figure out how to repair it. The operation to remove the voice box was to take place at 4:30AM so Bonnie could have time to prepare and time to recover with his friends before they had to go off to their shows.
It was currently 4:25AM and he was standing anxiously in the parts and services section of the Pizzaplex. The protective seal seemed threatening now. It didn’t help that he was overwhelmed by the constant buzzing in his electronic brain, the strangled noises leaving his throat, and the occasional twitch of his limbs. He was distracting himself by interlocking one of his hands with Freddy’s, staring absentmindedly at the room. The grey walls seemed to stretch on forever. He hated this place. He wanted nothing more than to get the hell out of here as soon as possible. He was tired of everybody being nervous and dancing around him like he was a glass jar. He knew he was fragile, that he was loosely strung together, but he didn’t want to be treated like it. He used to mess around and roughhouse with Monty before the incident. Now, the alligator seemed nervous to even shake his hand. It was unfair. He didn’t do anything to deserve to be ripped apart and poorly put back together.
He felt a light squeeze on his hand, reeling his attention back to the present.
“Hey, Bon, you alright? I know you’re nervous. I promise they’ll do well. They actually read through the manual this time,” Freddy huffed out a laugh at the last statement. “Not that they understood any of it.”
Bonnie just gave him a curt nod, unable to respond properly. Freddy gently squeezed his hand again. Bonnie couldn’t express it, but he appreciated the gesture more than anyone would ever know. He rested his head on Freddy’s shoulder plate, patiently awaiting the other animatronics (and Gregory, for some reason) arrival. Freddy didn’t acknowledge the electronic shrieks leaving Bonnie’s damaged voice box. Perhaps he knew it was best ignored. For the benefit of the whole, of course.
Bonnie shut his eyes, slowly counting backwards from fifteen to try and get his mind off of the upcoming scenario. And, of course, his own loud wails and the constant buzzing.
15... 14... 13...
The door behind the pair slowly opened, revealing the missing members of the team. They all greeted Bonnie and Freddy excitedly. It annoyed him how they could be so nonchalant while he was terrified out of his mind.
12... 11... 10...
Freddy clutched onto Bonnie’s hand as he was laid out onto the parts and services chair. Eventually he had to let go and back up, as it was neccessary to set up the proper machinery. Once more, he closed his eyes and tried to think about something else. Just... something other than his voice, the buzzing, the twitches—
9... 8... 7...
The large machinery closed in on him, opening up his chest cavity. It was all so fragile. What if the machine accidentally broke something? What if it ruined him? He wanted to flail around and panic, as that what he usually did in such a frantic state, but moving would just be a mistake. It’d only hurt him more.
6... 5... 4...
He had his eyes closed shut, but he could recognize Chica and Freddy’s footsteps as they entered the protective cylinder. He felt Chica work with the wires as Freddy kept him calm, grabbing his hand once more. All at once, the buzzing stopped. It got more distant. The strangled glitching noises constantly leaving his mouth were gone. For once, the world was silent.
3... 2... 1...
“You’re done. They’re just gonna inspect the voice box and try to repair it. Do you want to watch or go back?” Freddy whispered softly as the chest cavity was popped back into place. He then had a look of embarrassment. “I mean... Blink twice to watch and three times to go back?” he stammered out.
Bonnie contemplated his decisions. He decided he didn’t want to watch his life probably crumble in front him.
Three blinks.
Freddy nodded a silent agreement and helped sit him up, grabbing his hand once more as they walked towards the exit.
0
All at once, Bonnie was bombarded by Chica. She hugged him from behind, nuzzling her beak into his shoulder plate. Once she let go, he whipped around to face her in confusion.
“Sorry. I just... it felt right,” she smiled happily. Her eyes, robotic as they were, were nothing but warm and friendly.
Bonnie grinned back, happily flicking one of his ears instead of trying to talk. She understood either way and nodded as she walked back over towards the group.
“Hey, does anyone know what this blue wires supposed to do?” Monty’s gravelly voice boomed out over the silence, ripping through it like a knife. So much for a quiet world. From the sound of metal hitting metal, Bonnie assumed Roxy had facepalmed at that question. Bonnie would’ve laughed if he still had his voice box. Luckily, Freddy laughed for him as they exited together.
It would be a day or so before they figured out if everything was working right. Maybe even more, if they fought and carried on like they usually did. Bonnie didn’t expect to be talking for a good while, so it might be useful to discover a different way to communicate. Blinking can only do so much, after all.
Bonnie could feel the tension between he and Freddy as they walked back together. Freddy was clearly as nervous as he was, but there was no way for them to properly communicate their emotions. Freddy could talk all he wanted but Bonnie couldn’t respond. Maybe Freddy had deemed it unfair for him to talk so freely while the rabbit was stuck completely mute.
“..Bon, if we can’t fix it, I’ll find some other way for you to talk. I won’t let you go completely helpless,” Freddy murmured, his voice low and genuine. Bonnie could see the faint glow of his blue eyes through the dim lighting of the Pizzaplex. Bonnie couldn’t respond, so he just gave a light squeeze to Freddy’s hand to show that he understood. It had become their secret code over the past couple days. Maybe that would do them some good, considering the current events.
“Is it better now? No more noise?” Freddy asked, tilting his head to look at Bonnie. The rabbit nodded in return. Despite being mute, he felt a lot calmer this way. There wasn’t anything happening that was overwhelming anymore. It was quiet, a serene quiet, and he could focus on Freddy’s voice instead of the situation at hand. This was the best he’d felt in months.
“That’s good. I wish I could stay with you today. At least you’ll have Gregory now.”
Bonnie sent another nod his way, ears dropping as he remembered that soon Freddy would have to get back to his real job. A dark part of him wished that Freddy wasn’t as important in the band, so maybe he’d get—
But that wasn’t fair. He wouldn’t wish this kind of torture on anyone. Especially Freddy. None of them deserved to hurt like this- but then again, what had Bonnie done to deserve this treatment? All he ever did was play his guitar and run a bowling alley. He couldn’t recall hitting anyone or being particularly annoying. He tried so hard to blend into the band so they wouldn’t get rid of him, and here he was.
Perhaps that was the issue. He never managed to make his mark on the band. That’s why it was so easy to replace him with an animatronic with such a wild personality.
He was shaken from his gloomy thoughts with his body glitching and malfunctioning. He paused for a moment, making Freddy stop along with him as the tremors passed. Those little episodes got easier as time went on. At first they seemed unbearable, but now they just blended into his daily life. It was a sad truth, but he’d rather get used to it than dwell on it forever. Not like he could change anything about it. He just got aggravated with the constant looks of pity and sympathy. He was tired of the others constantly feeling bad for him. If the plan worked and went through, it just might help him seem more stable.
Freddy’s room was as decorated as usual. Colorful plushies were scattered across the floor, the bright red wallpaper hosting a cartoon illustration of his head. It was covered in neon lights, but Freddy had turned on the main light so it didn’t clash. It was comforting to look at, in an odd sense. Whenever Bonnie was here, he was secure and safe. There was no place that gave him such a lovely sensation like here.
“I wonder if Gregory is okay,” Freddy stated, half to himself. “He gets antsy when he hangs around them.”
Bonnie shrugged in response, having no way to properly communicate a well thought out answer. He knew Gregory was most likely unnerved at the moment, but there wasn’t much to be done with it. He didn’t want to have the possibility of watching his odd sense of humanity be torn apart in front of him.
The idea of losing his voice had really started to sink in as the tense silence began to feel the atmosphere once more. Wordlessly, (duh) Bonnie made his way over to Freddy’s couch and sat down. He didn’t notice how he had begun to absently rub at the soft fabric beside him, occasionally picking at it with his metal fingers. Without a voice, he wouldn’t be able to properly talk to anyone. He’d never be able to talk to Freddy about his fears or tell him how lovely he was. They would have a partly silent relationship, and it was making him uncomfortable to think about. His hands began to shift and Freddy picked up on the body language pretty quickly, taking a seat beside Bonnie.
“They’ll fix it. Your voice will be completely back to normal in no time,” Freddy soothed, raising his hand and laying on Bonnie’s face. He gently cupped the rabbit’s head towards him, nuzzling his muzzle affectionately. It was simply a mock kiss, but it was comforting nonetheless. Bonnie returned the gesture shakily.
“If not... I’ll... I’ll figure something else out. I’m sure we can make some kind of plan to help you speak or fix it a different way,” Freddy consoled him once more, scooting closer towards Bonnie and wrapping an arm around his waist.
He didn’t want to lose his voice. Who’d comfort Roxy and let her realize that she doesn’t always have to be perfect? The wolf was so worried about living up to Foxy’s image that she’d forced herself into a hole of perfection. He was sure other people could help but.. he liked to think he was special. He’d never get to tell Monty that he didn’t really hate him for being his replacement. Bonnie knew it wasn’t his fault, and he was grateful for the alligator’s help with his recovery, but he could be stand-offish at times. Bonnie didn’t want to admit that he was actually a bit scared of him either. But there was so much left unsaid between them, he didn’t want to leave the friendship so bitter. Who’d stay up all night with Chica and help her get ready for her shows? She really only let Bonnie polish her in the mornings and take care of her other appearance needs. She claimed Roxy’s nails were too sharp and Monty was self explanatory. Nobody would be there to gossip with her all night either. The thought of losing all of this terrified Bonnie like nothing else had since that night in the bathroom- and to think he’d felt peaceful earlier.
“I.. I can’t read your mind but I know you’re upset. I don’t even know what to say. I’m so sorry, Bon.”
Please stop apologizing. It’s not your fault.
“I won’t let anyone hurt you like that ever again. I’ll keep you safe.”
You can’t guarantee that. I don’t need to be protected. I’m not that fragile.
“I hope you don’t lose your voice box. I don’t know what it feels like to be mute but... It can’t be fun.”
You’re just saying that. You probably won’t care about me if they don’t fix it. I’ll just be the mute rabbit in your shadow.
His thoughts were turning bitter slowly. He didn’t want to be mad at Freddy, but there wasn’t any target to throw all of this anger and fear that had built up over the past few months. Bonnie wiggled his way out of Freddy’s grasp and scooted away, completely averting his gaze.
“..You’re not mad at me, right? Did I say something wrong?” Freddy frowned. Bonnie hated how genuine he sounded. It wasn’t fair. Bonnie could feel his ears droop sadly. He didn’t want to be pitied or whatever.
“I’m sorry if I said something wrong. I did not mean any harm,” Freddy cooed again, slowly moving back towards Bonnie. It was a considerate thing, giving Bonnie time to get up and move away if he didn’t want him close. Too considerate. Annoyingly kind.
Once more, Freddy had manage to get Bonnie back in his arms. The rabbit had really initiated the interaction, wrapping his arms around Freddy and laying his head onto his shoulder plate. His ears made it difficult to maneuver, but he eventually got comfortable. He could stay like this forever.
“I don’t know if this is what’s worrying you, but I’ll still care about you even if you lose your voice. You’re still my Bonnie, even if you can’t talk,” Freddy quietly said. “I can’t promise much, but I can promise that.”
He’d hit the nail right on its head. Freddy was pretty good at reading him.
Bonnie nuzzled his face into Freddy’s shoulder. He didn’t know if Freddy would pick up the silent ‘I love you,’ but he didn’t mind. He knew what he meant.
“..I love you too, Bon.”