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Azuchi castle houses five sons. Chaos was inevitable, with each and every one of them at home for the holidays to pay respect to their parents.
“Keiji, Masamune. If you want to help, stop throwing flour!” Hideyoshi had warned two of his sons, a deep frown set on his face and his apron more white than chequered, as was the rest of his person.
The threat of throwing the two of them out of the kitchen was a real warning, though neither really took it to heart. After all, none of the other three were willing to help and with the disaster that the kitchen already looked like all help was needed when dinner was with a grand total of fifteen.
“Catch!” Masamune had called, mischief clear in his eyes as he flicked something off his knife. At the other side of the kitchen Keiji had turned around, his mouth wide open as he caught the thing flying through the air, a grateful smile on his lips as he chomped down.
“Tastes great!” he called, while Hideyoshi’s heart leaped, another complaint in his throat before a flash of purple caught his eyes.
“Ieyasu, help Mitsunari with pouring the drinks!” the mother of the Azuchi household had hollered not even a second after, his mind already occupied with the next coming disaster that came in the form of his smiling son Mitsunari. The tea set that the clumsiest of the five had taken with him held all of the good intentions of the young male, but Hideyoshi knew his son too well to know that good intentions didn’t result in good outcomes.
“Why must it be me,” Ieyasu had sighed before he stomped after his brother, a huff and a scoff escaping the blonde who went out to help despite all protests given. Hideyoshi threw his youngest son an apologetic look, knowing that it was the only responsible son he had left after all.
That being mentioned. The mother’s face went from a soft warm patience to a turbulent panic and a deep glare set at what was his oldest son, a troublemaker of the first class with a sneaky smile on his lips while tauntingly holding a ball over the head of Azuchi’s little extra.
“Mitsuhide, don’t you dare bully Ranmaru!” Came the bouldering warning and the guests in the house all fell quiet in shock as six pairs of eyes had turned towards the mother in shock. It earned a startled reaction from Hideyoshi as well as he realised that he had just broken the whole festive atmosphere away.
“Don’t worry mother, it is nothing he hasn’t experienced before,” Mitsuhide had responded, calmness himself as he had no intention of stopping the extra sibling that they were hosting over the holidays. Ranmaru seemed to think differently, however, as he was still swiping at Mitsuhide’s arm, a frustrated expression on his face.
That was, until the ball Mitsuhide was holding suddenly got swept away, an annoyed brunette rolling his eyes before he threw the item at Ranmaru. “Do you really need your mother to scream death awake?” Yukimura had snarled, even more annoyed at the way the rest of the household seemed to be alright with the screaming.
To this Shingen had laughed at his own son, sneakily popping another sweet into his mouth while Ieyasu was preventing the tea from going all over his cousin Yoshimoto. “Now, Yuki, some harmless banter between siblings is normal. Your cousin is just showing his affection,” the man had stated, to which Kenshin grumbled.
“A real show of affection would be with the blade,” he had said before he waved over to Sasuke who was hovering closely behind Ieyasu with wide eyes of admiration and asked countless questions to his cousins in the kitchen.
It didn’t seem that Sasuke had any attention for his own father, thus leaving Kanetsugu who came rushing over to Kenshin in all eagerness.
“Yes, father!” he had exclaimed loudly and Kenshin gave him an approving nod when Kanetsugu unsheathed the toy replica at his waist and pointed it at Mitsunari who was about to pour Kenshin a glass as well.
“Better not, or else your mother will have a heart attack,” came Nobunaga’s remark, nestled comfortably in his own chair as he presided over the whole ordeal of festivities. It seemed that the father had no intention of helping out in the chaos, wholly content sitting in the back.
This was how a regular holiday celebration looked like in this particular Azuchi household. A nice jumbled up chaos of cheer and jokes as everyone looked forward to the annual family trip the day after.
“Okay, line up,” Hideyoshi had told his sons just before bed, and they did, in order of age before he went down the line to give them each a kiss on the head before sending them upstairs. Ranmaru had been sent back home, back to his temple to sleep in his own bed and the cousins were preparing for bed as well, watching the little ritual of the Oda family with interest.
A kiss for Mitsuhide, followed by Masamune, then Keiji, Mitsunari and lastly Ieyasu.
“Blegh,” Ieyasu had exclaimed as he hurried upstairs, half embarrassed that this had to be witnessed in front of his uncles and cousins who were no doubt rolling over themselves in hilarity.
Not that any of them dared to laugh out loud. While the five sons made their way upstairs Shingen had turned himself towards Yukimura, a bright idea on his face and an even wider smile to accompany him. “Yuuuuukiiiii!” he exclaimed, arms wide and spread before the male was quick to dodge and ran his way up the stairs.
“No!”
Meanwhile Kanetsugu had thrown hopeful eyes at his own father, looking up at Kenshin as if anticipating something while the other glared back.
“No,” was Kenshin’s crisp answer as he sent Kanetsugu upstairs to follow his cousins to bed. Sasuke didn’t bother anymore, deciding to follow after his begrudging brother who was now trudging himself after the rest.
“And remember, tomorrow we have to leave at 6 at the latest!” Nobunaga had announced before peace finally fell over the Azuchi household and the day finally ended.
Almost, for in the hurry and the bustling the Oda family had forgotten about their cat, Theo, and Theo wasn’t pleased to find himself forgotten. Running and jumping around in the house, between the presents, under the tree, shoving off items from the cabinets and lastly, plugging out the electricity in the house.
The next morning the first one to wake was Hideyoshi, at 5 am on the dot with a racing heart and a lot of stress.
“Awake, awake, wake up all of you!” he had yelled, running out of his bed and knocking on all of the doors in the house. The first to wake was Ieyasu, responsible as ever in his full fluffy grumpiness. Followed by a Mitsuhide who couldn’t help but poke fun at the youngest for his sleep-wasted appearance.
“We don’t have time for your tricks!” Hideyoshi yelled, before dragging a Masamune out of the bunker followed with a yelp from Keiji who barely found his footing.
Luckily the ruckus had woken up Yukimura as well, accompanied with Sasuke and a Kanetsugu who wanted to scold Hideyoshi for daring to cause a ruckus with his father Kenshin still asleep.
“It is half past 5 already!” Hideyoshi had hollered back instead, and Kanetsugu finally understood the severity of the situation as he rushed out to wake his father along with Yukimura who went to wake Shingen.
Miraculously, and with the help of multiple bathrooms, the group of fifteen all stood downstairs ready to leave at one minute before six.
“Head count!” Hideyoshi gasped between the rush, the first breath he had probably taken in the morning since waking up as he threw open the family van for everyone to rush in, Nobunaga already in the front behind the wheel.
Mitsuhide went in, a hit on his shoulders for being a little shit as Hideyoshi practically shoved him in. Followed by a Masamune who dragged a still half-asleep Mitsunari and a grumpy Ieyasu, accompanied with a clambering Ranmaru who got shoved in as well.
“We’re complete!” Hideyoshi exclaimed, throwing himself in the passenger's seat as he threw the door shut and buckled himself up. Five heads counted in the back; the man yelled one more time for everyone to put on their seatbelts before Nobunaga sped off.
Once more the Azuchi house was left in peace. With the sound of the cars driving off, each containing all members of the trip, the sudden silence they left the place in was piercing the streets after exactly one hour.
“I’m ready!” a voice broke through, a flurry of orange and reds scrambling together at exactly 6am to an empty street. His bright smile fell away immediately, the extra bag he had ran off to get falling onto the ground with a thud as Keiji realised that everyone had departed without him.
In the meanwhile a single father realised the missing of his only son way before anyone had noticed the forgotten son in the Azuchi house.
“Ranmaru?” Kennyo called, knocking on the door of his adopted son in the temple. Many of his disciples had taken some time off to return to their own families, but the few who had none celebrated it in the temple. Ranmaru was such an example, with his own fortune being that the Oda family had taken him in as an extra son, though unadopted for the household was much too occupied with all of its members and neither Ranmaru or Kennyo had the heart to let each other go.
But no answer came from the door and Kennyo wondered if Ranmaru was still exhausted from the festivities last night. Or perhaps the male was down, for the Oda was to leave for a trip today and he couldn’t accompany them as he wasn’t actually part of the family.
“Ranmaru?” Kennyo tried once more, before pushing the door open as he peeked in, hoping to see a crumpled up ball covered by sheets.
Instead it was an empty room, as Kennyo wondered if he had heard Ranmaru return this morning after waving off the Oda who were said to depart early.
With that the monk closed the door, a look of concern on his face as he hoped that Ranmaru was to return soon.
“They have left,” was the airy observation from an impossibly pretty man, deep sunken eyes revealed as he lowered his binoculars. He spoke to another man sitting behind him and impatience clear on his face with a white mop of hair on his head and a cigar lingering in the corner of his mouth.
“About damn time. Felt like they were never gonna leave,” Motonari spoke, putting out the cigar as he pushed himself up from his seat, stretching himself out in that early morning in which he had to wake much too early for a family that departed much too late.
Kicho didn’t say anything to that, binoculars raised up once more as he watched Keiji stand outside, bags at his feet, before shuffling back into the house once more. A frown appeared on his face, the gears of his brains churning and turning as his lips pressed against each other.
“Or not,” he exhaled slowly much to his chagrin as he handed the item to Motonari who observed for himself what unforeseen circumstance had popped up.
“What sort of mom is he,” Motonari scoffed, but smiled nonetheless in confidence as he turned towards the door, the plan proceeding as they had planned.
It was hours later when the group arrived at the airport, a dazed set of legs falling out of the van as some seemed rather green around the noses while the other half just wanted to go back to sleep.
“Roll call!” Hideyoshi called, the adrenaline coursing through his body still as he had everyone line up once more, “and you guys as well!” he ordered, not even flinching at the glare that Kenshin threw at him for being bossed around.
Starting off with his own kids Hideyoshi thus shifted through their tickets, reading out the names of the members of the trip.
“Mitsuhide!” and there the oldest of the children went, a suppressed grin on his features that suspiciously looked like mischief about to happen as Hideyoshi narrowed his eyes at his oldest son.
“You will figure it out soon enough,” was the male’s remark as he sauntered over and took the ticket from Hideyoshi, allowing for the next to come, which was Masamune.
“Keiji!” Hideyoshi called without looking up, repeating the name that always followed third in a louder voice when no response came.
“Keiji Maeda, I do not have the time for your—” Head thrown up Hideyoshi looked up from the tickets towards the row of people still waiting when he realised he was missing his orange flowery ball of sunshine son.
“Keiji?” the mother asked, an anxiety clamouring over his heart as he scanned over the parking lot they were standing in, eyes frantically moving up and down the row and then over to the van where they had all been cramped into.
“And he figured it out, finally,” Mitsuhide snickered from behind as Ieyasu heaved another sigh.
“No wonder it wasn’t half as loud as usual,” the youngest said as Mitsunari looked pensive, his lips drawn into a long line as he shook his head.
“Could it be that he didn’t make it in time after announcing he would get the snack bag?” the male mused, stroking his chin, “but we counted the heads, right?”
To this Hideyoshi paled as he did remember counting five heads of sons. Five heads that were still with five, just that the fifth he had counted wasn’t the orange one he was supposed to count.
There, a little out of place and a bit shaken stood Ranmaru whose shoulders were grasped by Mitsuhide who seemed to delight in the chaos.
“We got an extra ticket left,” Masamune casually remarked in a jest as Hideyoshi felt himself grow a little faint as he realised his mistake.
“Keiji!” the mother exclaimed for the whole parking lot, and the gates of the airport to hear.
With that realisation finally sunk with the Oda family Keiji had made himself comfortable in the empty house in which he was forgotten. First he had scoured down the kitchen to see if there were any leftovers left, or anything edible. Having inventarised that, the male then proceeded to look for any money that he could use, remembering that Hideyoshi always slept on a wad of hard cash underneath his mattress in case of emergencies.
“To make up for forgetting me!” he exclaimed as he then proceeded to the living room to check out the space there, his eyes scrutinising the familiar setting through another point of view before he decided; the realm was his.
So, he pulled the comfortable seat Nobunaga always sat in closer to the hearth, moved the television into a good view and brought the game devices down from the room as well. And while he was at it he changed his bed to one of the bigger beds as well, exchanging the bunker from which he was dragged out from for one with luxurious space and fluffy blankets.
With his comforts set Keiji thus decided to bring the money with him outside, in his head already a list of his favourite items to make for dinner.
Ice cream, mochi, mochi ice cream, maybe some healthy leaves and the likes, but mostly mochi.
That Keiji was set to have the time of his life was lightly put, to say the least. He even went to the home depot to get some miscellaneous items, just whatever caught his eyes before he departed and went back home with bags full of delicious goodies and whatever else one needs to start the most comfortable home alone homestaycation ever.
“He left the house,” Kicho stated and Motonari was already halfway down the garden, reaching for the door.
“Not that he is any threat alone,” the man had stated to which the other could only sigh at that overblown confidence. For that size of the forgotten son alone was enough to rethink that statement.
It was true, however, that this was the best moment to strike, tools in hands as they went for the lock.
“Excuse me, but do you have any business with the Oda?” a gruff voice sounded behind the two of them, and both criminals-in-the-makings straightened up as Kicho eyed the monk approaching them with a scrutinising eye.
“And what business does the abbott have?” Kicho questioned, to which Kennyo scowled, his frown set even deeper as his expression turned darker.
Neither wanted to answer the question, but Motonari did, never one to hide anything as he flashed a proud smirk.
“What else but to give that old fart Nobunaga a piece of his own?” To this Kennyo could only heave a sigh, the almost predictable follow up dreamt up into reality;
“How about it, pall? Wanna join us? Saw that they kidnapped your kid.”
The remark hit its spot as Kennyo did decide to come by to check on Ranmaru, wondering if he was perhaps sulking around the house. Motonari’s exclamation was everything the man needed to know, his opinion of the Oda already low enough as his scowl turned severe and dark before he stomped his staff down on the pavement.
“These degenerates!”
And so an entirely clueless Keiji got home through the backdoor, his cheeks red from the cold outside before he kicked off his shoes in the way that always drove Hideyoshi nuts as he threw his coat down over the couch along with his scarf, hat and gloves. The hearth was already on and all Keiji really needed to do was pop the pizza into the already pre-heated oven before he realised that there was noise in the front yard.
It was a good thing that the male had drawn the curtains as he peeked through it quietly, catching sight of the three suspicious figures that were involved in a hot debate outside.
“Do you mean to suggest that I commit burglary with you lot!” Kennyo bristled obviously displeased at whatever suggestion was made by the other two.
To this Kicho rolled his eyes, a hand set on his hip while he shifted his weight. “No one invited you,” was his belligerent remark which didn’t improve Kennyo’s mood any more.
“And what is it that you wish to gain from this?” Kennyo countered, to which neither wished to answer. It was an answer and a question that Keiji never got to hear anyway as he had already retreated, a plan forming within his mind on how to defend the house single handedly.
In the end it had been decided that Hideyoshi, Shingen and Ranmaru would all return first. The rest of the lot continued their trip as planned. Though Hideyoshi made sure to ground Mitsuhide first, right after cancelling the tickets needed while Shingen wiped Ranmaru’s voice, soothing the child of his best friend that got shoved into the van by accident. It had taken him a while, but in the end Ranmaru finally managed to fall asleep on Shingen’s shoulder as Hideyoshi drove the way back.
This time the trip took one and a half time longer, what with Hideyoshi’s mantra of: safety first, and his overall refusal of going faster than the maximum speed. It was the only reason the exhausted Ranmaru could sleep through everything and how Shingen remained steady in his seat as his shoulder was borrowed.
Hideyoshi, however, was everything but the calm and steady driving style as his mind was in jambles, a thousand and one thoughts mulling over accompanied with another string of scoldings and apologies to follow that were reserved for one particular son. What if’s mulled through his mind as the man wasn’t too sure in what state the house was in after the few hours in which Keiji was left alone, accompanied with the distress his son must be in.
Little did the mother know that distress was appropriate, just not for Keiji.
“That door handle zapped me!” Motonari exclaimed in shock, hand retracting from the innocent seeming lock that he had tried to poke into. It took Keiji everything within him to stifle his giggle, forever grateful as he was for all of the tools he could find in Sasuke’s left behind luggage.
“There is also water leaking,” Kicho remarked casually, as if he had anticipated his feet getting wet. It came from the basement, to which Keiji had snuck to turn on a garden faucet, shoving it under the doormat as he let it trickle down the stairs.
“Better not move,” the male continued to state as clouds started to follow after the water, instantly freezing the ground underneath them and turning the water into ice. A feat that the cold weather would have managed eventually, but never as quickly as the dry ice did.
For this Keiji had to thank Ieyasu’s chemical kit, another snicker escaping him as he peeked from the window above, grateful for the automatic tennis ball machine that Hideyoshi had bought for Nobunaga that was currently set to aim at the basement window.
“Hells, it is freezing. I'd rather slip!” Motonari exclaimed, and Keiji coaxed him to do so mentally, hoping that the villain would slip and break a bone or two.
“It would make for an interesting debate of liability,” Kicho added, who always went off on an incomprehensible tangent before Kennyo made himself heard once more.
“Obviously there is someone still at home. Which means you two better scram off before the authorities are here.”
To this Keiji realised that he had forgotten the authorities, having had too much fun with the idea of tormenting the unwelcome visitors.
Not that it mattered. When Keiji heard the sound of marbles rolling down, accompanied with a string of curses the male giddily realised that the backdoor trap had been activated. With shining eyes the male thus made his way over to the back of the house, stopping on top of the stairs to admire the sight of his obstacle course of doom in which only one had been activated so far.
By Hideyoshi of all people, followed by a surprised Shingen who carried a still sleeping Ranmaru in arms.
“Keiji!” one screamed, while the other blinked, a gentle smile crossing his expression.
“I don’t suppose I can enter without falling?” Shingen questioned, and Keiji was quick to make his way down the stairs, avoiding all obstacles he had set up as he deftly stepped over all of the traps.
“There were suspicious figures trying to get in, so I took precaution!” was his claim as he helped Hideyoshi out of the net cast over, the tangles knotting up even further because of the way the mother was fighting and resisting, refusing to sit still or take any form of instructions.
In the end, by the time Keiji had saved Hideyoshi and dismantled all of the boobytraps, the front porch was already empty.
“You put the door under charge?!” Hideyoshi had exclaimed horrified after getting zapped before Keiji could warn the man. A strange feeling of guilt started to rise up as Keiji rose his arms, claiming innocence as he hoped that the man wouldn’t continue to step forward.
Unfortunately it wasn’t Hideyoshi. Unfortunately, instead it was a Ranmaru who slipped, having seen a dot of purple not too far ahead.
“Master Kennyo!” it sounded in a shriek, before a yelp cut the male off and a dash of pink slid over the porch, down the low stairs and painfully on the pavement.
Keiji’s name was hollered for the world to hear this time.
“It’s luckily nothing serious,” Kennyo said a bit later, a sigh of relief escaping him after that he patched up Ranmaru with the first aid kit of the Oda. By now the house was cleaned up a bit, though Keiji was sure that he had forgotten about a few traps left behind. Not that it mattered right now, as the house was safe to move through and there was an injured person.
“I’m so sorry for taking Ranmaru by accident. We were running late and,” Hideyoshi was already full into his story of causality as Kennyo waved the other off, already glad to see that his son was safe and sound.
Shingen in the meanwhile saw a chance in there, a smile on his face as he came up from the basement where he had fixed the faucet and the, by now, frozen tennis ball shooter, bringing a bottle of sake with him.
“It is late already, how about you stay over and we leave tomorrow? To make it up,” the man offered, pointing at the abundance of food that Keiji had bought himself already that consisted mostly of ready-made-food and mochi.
“Was this all you planned to eat?” Hideyoshi had questioned the male disapprovingly for that, to which Keiji had shrugged.
“Figured you would miss me soon enough,” was his only explanation, which earned a laugh from Shingen who certainly didn’t mind the collection of sweets the third son had gathered.
Kennyo would have refused if it wasn’t for Ranmaru’s glimmering face at the thought of sharing a casual meal with his almost-adopted family.
A choice the man was soon to regret when everyone found themselves in the living room, exceptions made to join the table seeing Ranmaru’s state as everyone had a plate on the lap and the television on.
“Hey, isn’t that a mistletoe!” Keiji had exclaimed, and Hideyoshi nearly slapped his hand down to scold him that it was rude to point before Shingen and Kennyo looked up.
There, indeed was a mistletoe hanging over the two of them, earning an audible gulp from Kennyo who knew his friend too well and was about to yeet his plate.
Shingen was faster, however, as he had pulled Kennyo’s face, planting a firm kiss on his cheek with a loud smack.
And so Keiji’s adventure alone at home came to an end, with both Kicho and Motonari nursing their cold feet while Hideyoshi tried to order the first available flight into the direction of their destination.