Chapter Text
The lift rattled as it went up, stopping for a brief moment before continuing its upward path. Remus eyed the number 4 button that lit up in a bright white glow. Compared to the buttons in the lift at his current building that flickered a sick yellow and didn’t always turn on reliably, it was in much better condition.
Remus glanced at the text Lily had sent him with the ad info. He was sure he had the address right but something was off. The lift wasn’t out of order, the hallways and lobby were clean, and the lights looked as though they were changed regularly. He wasn’t even sure he could afford to enter it, scared that he might leave and be handed an itemised bill for standing in the hallway too long.
There had to be some sort of catch. Maybe the landlord was overtly cruel, or they didn’t have any running water, or there was a string of murders in the flat Remus was looking at and they were having trouble getting anyone to sign onto the lease. Maybe the parking was just terrible.
The lift dinged and the doors opened to the fourth floor. Remus spared a glance to 4C, apparently Lily’s flat, and passed by it until he reached 4D, where he would be meeting Peter Pettigrew. They had been texting back and forth for a few days, after Lily had sent him the ad (she thought it would be fun if they could be neighbours, but her flatmates didn’t have space for someone else).
Remus had yet to comment on Peter’s strange last name, but mostly because he felt he couldn’t talk himself. Maybe they’d bond over that or maybe he’d be a complete prick and he wouldn’t find out until he had already signed their lease.
Remus shook his head to quiet his rushing thoughts and wiped his palms on his shirt before knocking on the door of flat 4D. A second passed before Remus heard a crash and the door swung open the next moment, a blotchy faced man with straw-coloured hair and freckles stretched out across his nose and cheeks stood in front of Remus.
“You must be Remus,” Peter said, sticking out a pale clammy palm which Remus shook.
“And Peter?” he asked, to which Peter nodded.
“Come in, make yourself at home.” Peter opened the door wider, stepping aside and leading him to the kitchen. “Tea?”
“Yeah, thanks. Cheers,” Remus responded, entering the loft. It was an open space, a hallway off to the left, leading to a few bedrooms and a sitting area to the right connected with a kitchen where three other people sat around a counter. They paused their conversation and looked up at Remus. “Uh, friends, of yours?”
“No. Well yes they’re my friends but these are my flatmates,” Peter said, turning the kettle on and preparing a cup for Remus. “Well these two are,” Peter gestured to the two men, one with glasses, light brown skin, and shaggy hair and the other, pale with sleek black hair in a casual bun and sharp cheekbones. “This is,” Peter trailed off, pointing at a woman who looked like someone Remus might see in a fashion magazine. Dressed in a sharp blazer and wearing expertly drawn on colourful makeup against her dark complexion, the woman sat across from the men and raised an eyebrow at Peter, waiting for him to supply a proper response, “uh–”
“Mary,” she supplied when she realised he didn’t know her name.
“Uh, Pete,” the man with the glasses said. “Thought you said he was coming tomorrow.”
“I thought you said you lived alone,” Remus said.
The man with the bun sighed and put his tea down. “It’s our fault for letting Pete handle the listing.”
“I know,” the man with the glasses said, shaking his head in mock distress, “he just seemed so damned eager.”
“I’m so sorry,” Peter said, eyes watering and cheeks red. Remus wasn’t sure what he had walked into.
“Let me see the listing,” the man with the hair bun said, walking up to Remus and holding out his hand.
“Uh, I’m Remus.”
“I know, Pete told us,” the man said, hand still out. “But I was asking to see the listing.”
Remus took out his phone, surprised at himself for forking over his mobile when he normally didn’t even trust a friend to borrow it. He pulled up the listing and let the man take it as their fingers brushed together. Remus jerked his hand back and looked down at his shoes, avoiding the man’s piercing gaze and straight pearly white teeth that displayed in an effortless smile.
“I’m Sirius, by the way.”
Remus looked up again, knitting his eyebrows. “Um, I’m sure you are.”
The man snickered, shaking his head. “No, I’m not serious, my name is Sirius.”
Peter and the other man groaned. “You have no idea how often he makes that joke.”
“I’ve only been here fifteen minutes and I’ve already heard it twice,” Mary said.
“He said it, not me,” Sirius said, scrolling through Remus’ phone. “Well here’s your problem Petey, you put the listing at one flatmate.”
Peter came to Sirius’ side and looked over his shoulder. “I thought that meant how many flatmates we wanted.”
Sirius turned to look at him, rolling his eyes. “How would that even work?”
“I don’t know I–”
“And then you did text poor Remus here the wrong date,” Sirius said, tossing the phone back to Remus who nearly dropped it. “Verdict?”
“Guilty,” the man with the glasses called out to him.
“I’m so sorry,” Peter said, practically trembling, “I guess I–”
Remus cut him off before this inane conversation could continue. “Look, it was an honest mistake. No hard feelings, I'll just go.”
“No you can’t go,” Peter cried, pouring tea into a bright blue mug with a bee on it that said, ‘I beelieve it’s tea time.’ He handed the mug to Remus. “I’d feel horrible if you left now, it’s my fault anyways.”
“How exactly would that work when what’s-her-name is in the middle of her interview?” Sirius said, pointing to Mary.
“The name’s Mary,” she said, eyebrows raised.
“Pete’s right,” the man with the glasses said, coming to Peter’s side and holding out a calloused hand. “I’m James.”
“Nice to meet you,” Remus said, shaking it.
“So what, dual interview?”
“That’s exactly it,” James said, eyes lighting up. “That could be fun. We could ask them questions and have a lightning round at the end.”
“Uh, hello?” Mary said, waving her arms at the two boys.
“What would we test them on, then?” Sirius asked, arms crossed in thought.
“French modern art of course.”
“Alright, whoever gets the most points is our new flatmate.”
“And whoever loses has to drink the mystery jar that’s been sitting in our fridge for at least two years!”
“The exact date of the jar is up to dispute.”
“How about whoever loses just leaves and doesn’t get to live here?” Remus said.
“Practical,” James said. “Dull, but practical.”
Sirius turned to him with bright eyes, “So you’re on board?”
Remus looked around the room. Light streamed in from the sitting room and Sirius and James practically glowed in it. The loft felt warm and the three men felt like a family. Not that he’d ever fit in with this already tight-knit group, but it might be better than living in his dingy flat alone. At least if their heating went out or they couldn’t pay the bills, they were in it together. And it sure was better than being homeless. “I suppose,” Remus said, joining them at the counter and placing his mug on it.
“What about you?” James asked, turning to Mary.
Mary shrugged. “Guess I don’t have anything better to do on a Saturday afternoon.”
“How sad,” James said.
“Don’t worry that will all change when you move in with us, love,” Sirius said, winking.
“If,” James emphasised, taking a whiteboard off the fridge and wiping it down.
“My chore-chart,” Peter whined, deflated.
“Let’s be honest, Pete,” Sirius said, clapping a hand on his back, “you were the only one doing the chores anyway.”
James propped the whiteboard back on the fridge and wrote Mary and Remus’ names to keep score. “We’ll ask you a series of questions about who you are and what you’d be like to live with. Whoever has the most tallies wins and gets to be our new flatmate.”
“Question?” Mary said, raising her hand.
“Yes, nice lady in the front row,” James said, pointing at her.
“What about you guys?” she asked, tilting her head. “I mean, what if you all are just a nightmare to live with?”
“You saw how much we’re asking for rent, right?”
“Let’s just get started,” Mary said.
“Alright,” James said, dramatically clearing his throat, “First question, what is your full name?”
Remus scoffed and crossed his arms, “Remus Lupin.”
“Mary Macdonald.”
James nodded and added a tally to Mary’s side and added a minus one to Remus’ side.
“What?” Remus exclaimed, “How can you already take a point away? It’s just my name.”
James chuckled and took another point away. “There’s a lot in a name, ask Shakespeare. And another point off being a sore loser.”
“Next question!” Sirius announced before Remus could complain further. “What do you do for a living?”
“I’m in fashion,” Mary said. “I’m a buyer for Gladrags.”
“Fascinating,” Sirius said, smiling with his head cupped in his hands. “Can you get us free clothes?”
“Maybe,” Mary said. “I do get a 30 percent discount so you can have that.”
“Very nice,” James said, adding a tally to Mary’s side. “And what do you do Remus?”
“I’m a history teacher.”
“One point off,” Sirius said from the counter and James complied. “History’s boring, maybe he’d be boring as well.”
“Sorry?!”
Peter sat up straight from his stool beside James. “Actually I liked history a bit in school.” James added a tally.
“So basically,” Remus sighed, “there’s no change to my score.”
“Better luck next time, mate,” Sirius said. “Should have picked a better subject.”
James spun around away from the board to face them again. “Alright, why are you looking for a new place?”
Remus shrugged. “Current one’s shit.”
“Did you hear that, Prongs?” Sirius said, smiling. “He likes our place.”
“Thank you, I decorated it myself,” James said, bowing.
“And by that you mean you bought all of the furniture and then your mum came in and rearranged everything?”
“Precisely,” James said. “What about you, Mary?”
Mary sighed and looked down at her hands, wringing them together. “Honestly? A really shit breakup. My boyfriend of eight years cheated on me and we lived together so I need a new place. It’s been a hard few weeks and I think it’s time to find new roots. Full disclosure, I might be lying on the sofa, weeping to Mamma Mia for a while. I watch it about six or seven times a day during breakups, but I will be back on my feet in no time.”
The boys were silent for a moment, staring at her, then each other, until Sirius got up and erased a tally from her side.
“Cold,” James muttered.
“I hate ABBA,” Sirius said, “and weeping.”
“Other people weeping, you mean,” Peter said under his breath. Sirius eyed him for a moment before returning to his spot at the counter.
“Do you have any personal habits that might get in the way in a communal living space?”
“Besides weeping on the sofa,” Peter muttered and Mary glared at him.
Remus shifted in his seat. “Erm, well I don’t like to be interrupted. I mean I like my space to be my own with little interaction from others.”
“That shouldn’t be a problem,” James replied.
“What about you, Mary?” Sirius asked.
“Uh, well I have a sewing machine and I do use it quite often. It’s a bit noisy” James started to erase a point from her side. “But I can make you lot clothes or anything you want really,” she added quickly. “I’m quite talented.”
“Bragging? I appreciate your confidence and your skill,” James said cheerfully and added a point.
They went on like this for nearly half an hour, asking some reasonable questions like whether or not they were smokers (Mary never was, Remus was a former) or early risers and other ones that made no sense (who they would save first from a burning building or who would they most trust to make a frittata). At the end, Mary was five tallies ahead of Remus whom Sirius seemed to have a personal vendetta against.
“Right, sorry, mate,” James said. “I was rooting for you but I guess we have our winner.”
A knock sounded at the door and a red headed woman walked in without waiting for a response. “Sorry to bother you lads, but could I borrow some flour, we’re making– Oh, hi Remus.” Her emerald eyes glistened as she smiled at him.
“Hi Lily,” Remus said, giving her a small wave as Sirius stopped in the middle retrieving the flour.
“You two…” James trailed off, pointing between the two of them, the marker nearly slipping out of his hand.
Lily raised an eyebrow. “Know each other?” she supplied for him. “Yeah, we work together. He’s just started as the new history teacher. I’m the one who showed him the listing.”
James gasped and his shocked expression slipped into a smile. “Why didn’t you say anything? You’re in!” He ignored Peter and Sirius’ groans and turned to shake Remus’ hand.
“We’re gonna be neighbours?” Lily exclaimed, clapping her hands together.
“No you’re not!” Mary said, standing up from her stool. “Sorry, erm, nice to meet you and everything, Lily, is it?” Lily nodded and Mary continued, “but I won fair and square.”
James quickly added six tallies to Remus’ side. “He knows Lily, that’s a bonus.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.”
“The scoring system was arbitrary anyway.” He capped the marker.
Lily took the flour from Sirius. “I’m not gonna date you just because you’re living with my friend, Potter.” With the borrowed flour in hand, Lily left slamming the door behind her.
“You can help me, right?” James turned to Remus, apparently he hadn’t heard Lily or he just didn’t care. “Tell me what she likes or doesn’t like, put in a good word for me?”
“I’ve only known her a few weeks,” Remus admitted.
“But you’ll help me, yeah?”
Remus looked at James, his eyes widened and his palms were pressed together, he was mouthing ‘please’ over and over again. If playing matchmaker helped him move in, then it wasn’t such a bad price to pay. Even if it meant his new friend might hate him. “Fine.”
James whooped and punched a fist in the air. “You’re in!”
“But what about Mary?” Peter asked.
James turned around as if he had just recalled her existence. “Oh right,” he said, slapping his forehead. “Alright, how about you each have a trial run for about a fortnight, and at the end of it, the three of us will vote on who we think is the better flatmate, deal?”
Sirius shrugged. “Sounds alright to me.”
“This is ridiculous,” Remus grumbled, not believing the amount of time he had wasted.
Mary looked at him, then at James. “I’m in. I’m homeless at the moment anyway, so it works for me.”
The others looked at Remus, waiting for an answer. He thought of his gross building, his nightmare landlord, and the fact that he hadn’t found another place as nice that was so close to work. Sirius, James, and Peter were beyond strange, he had never met anyone like them, nor had he ever had an interview quite like this. But then again, he had never laughed so quickly with new people or trusted them enough not to commit murder after only one day. He was sure living with them would be like nothing else. If at the end of the trial, he found out they were part of some cult or that their antics were intolerable to live with, he could chalk it up to a bad few weeks and find a new place. After all, he wasn’t signing anything yet.
“Sure, why not.”
Sirius cheered and Peter clapped. “We are going to have so much fun,” Sirius said, winking at him. “I can already tell.” He must do that a lot if he could do it so naturally, Remus decided.
“Now,” James said, rubbing his hands together, “who’s up for celebratory pizza?”
They kept the tally board up for a fortnight. And whenever one of them did something good like taking the rubbish out or said something funny, one of the others would add a point to the board. So far, Remus was just shy of Mary by two tallies and it had already been the most fun week and a half of his life. If he had told his past self that he was trying so hard to live with a couple of practical strangers, he would have scoffed.
The loft only had four bedrooms. James said that he would put up another wall in Peter’s room since it was larger than the others for him and Mary, but until then, he and Sirius shared his room. Which meant loud sleepovers every night for a few weeks. Remus had learnt that the room he was in used to be occupied by a former flatmate who he was almost certain was named Regulus. Sirius had refused to talk about him and James seemed to respect this, but he didn’t seem as affected by it as Sirius. Remus thought he had made some leeway with Peter, but he seemed to have strong loyalty to the other two and only mentioned that he had moved out almost a year ago and they only were asking for a new flatmate now because they had the space and needed the extra money.
Mary seemed very nice, but was an unfortunately ugly crier. She spent most of her time laying on the sofa, watching Mamma Mia on repeat (which when she had first mentioned it, Remus and the others had taken it as a joke, but apparently she was very serious) and sing-sobbing the lyrics. Sirius had removed a tally for each day that Mary continued to take up space and watch it. In response, Mary had taken to doing chores around the loft to increase her score and was now folding the boys laundry while sobbing to the film which was on for the third time that day but was instead lying next to the basket while on the phone.
“I gotta go, mum,” she said, head folded into a pillow. She lowered the volume on the television. “No, I'm not watching Mamma Mia. No, I don’t think so.” She paused, moving the receiver away from her face and caught Remus’ eye as he entered the sitting area. “Hey, are you going to murder me because you’re a stranger from the internet?”
“Yes I am.”
Mary turned away from Remus. “He says no.”
She sat up and hung up the phone. “‘Chiquitita tell me what’s wrong,’” Mary sang along with a croaky voice, tears streaming down her soft skin. “So much.” She sobbed and plopped her head into the clean laundry basket.
Remus crept over to her side and carefully pulled out a jumper he had been looking for that she was now using as a handkerchief. “Sorry,” he muttered and awkwardly patted her back.
“Ready to go?” A voice called out as they entered the loft. The woman was a tall, pretty blonde named Marlene who was part of a small football league with James. Remus had found out in his short time at the loft that people were often barging in without knocking and mostly from Lily’s place. Lily came in to borrow things occasionally, or to steal food which occurred quite a bit more during Remus’ stay. Sometimes she and Peter would go out to lunch and James would pretend not to be envious. Marlene came over to watch sports on the telly with James or to go on a run (which apparently had to happen at 6 in the morning). Sometimes she and Sirius would go out drinking and sometimes she forced him to go shopping with her. The only one Remus had barely met was Dorcas who once came in to borrow Sirius’ leather jacket. He often went to smoke with her late at night at her place or on the roof. Once he had phoned her close to midnight and she had picked him up and he had returned with a new tattoo. Dorcas owned a tattoo parlour a few streets away and had bright tattoos sprawled across her brown skin. She was very keen on getting Remus in her chair.
“Your skin is the perfect canvas for tattoos,” she gushed one night, mischievous eyes twinkling.
It wasn’t the oddest compliment Remus had ever received, but it was certainly the first one he had ever got about his skin.
“Whatcha up to?” Marlene asked, plopping onto the sofa next to Mary.
“Crying and folding laundry,” her voice was muffled by the clothing.
“I can see that,” Marlene nodded, “Though I have to say, it looks like you’re more crying into the laundry rather than actually doing anything with it.”
Mary just continued to weep while Marlene rubbed comforting circles on her back. “How about a date, are you ready yet? Best way to move on is to get back out there.”
Mary paused for a moment, before giving a slow, hesitant nod for yes.
“Grand!” Marlene said. “I’ve got a guy. He’s really funny and he’s on our team. I think you’ll really like him. What about you Remus?”
“Huh?” Remus asked, startled. “What about me?”
“I could find you a date, if you wanted,” she said. “There’s a nice girl on my team, Kayla.”
“Oh, um, I don’t really–”
Marlene cut him off, “Knew it. Well Brian’s on my team and he’s really cute and funny.”
“No,” Remus said. “That’s not what I– Thank you. I’m not really looking.”
Marlene nodded. “Well if you change your mind, I’ve a team full of single people.”
Mary seemed very excited about her date. She had bought nearly a whole new wardrobe and had asked Remus to help (she said something about needing a bloke’s opinion).
“What do you think?” she asked, wearing a tight red dress. She pressed her palms down, smoothing it out and raised her hands, expecting a response from Remus, someone who couldn’t care less about fashion, especially women’s fashion.
“Yeah,” he said. “Red.”
“Red?” she asked, hands on her hips. “That’s all you have to say about it?”
“Well it is.”
Mary scoffed and turned to her mirror, pressing the dress with her hands and checking her figure. “It fits well, yeah?”
Remus nodded. “It’s tight.”
Mary rolled her eyes. “Thank you, tight and red, two things I couldn’t put together on my own.”
Someone whistled from the doorway. “Ooh, Macdonald, how fetching.” Sirius leaned against the wall. “Give us a spin.”
She obliged. “Not too much, is it?”
Sirius gave her a thumbs up. “Just perfect.”
She beamed and started applying lipstick as he left. “See, that’s what I was looking for.”
“Then why’d you ask me?”
Capping the lipstick and putting it back in her handbag, Mary fluffed her hair and turned to Remus. “We’re the floaters, we have to stick together.”
“We’re competing for the same spot in the flat so I don’t think we’re supposed to be sticking together. I think we’re actually supposed to be enemies.”
Mary waved a hand dismissively. “Oh that, they’re gonna let us both stay.”
Remus sat up straight on her bed. “Really? Did they say something to you?”
“No, I just know it,” Mary said. “I always get what I want, and right now I want us both to say. Also, after knowing those three gits for about a week, I figured out they were huge softies and they’re not going to be able to pick just one of us. Just put on your best puppy face and we’re going to be living together for a lot longer than a fortnight.” Mary pouted in demonstration, pulling down her bottom lip and widening her eyes.
“I don’t think I’m capable of that,” Remus chuckled.
“Well, they’re not going to kick out the rabid alley cat who hisses at their outstretched hand either, don’t worry,” Mary said, grabbing her handbag and coat. “Now, I’ve a date to get to.”
Gryffindor House was the pub just outside their building. It was small and cosy and decorated head to toe in red, red banners and curtains lined the windows and a dark red carpet covered the floors. A stuffed lion head (which James assured Mary was fake) was mounted over a roaring fireplace and a proud lion crest hung on the doors and was stitched into the napkins and printed on the cups. Sirius worked as a barman there and seemed to love his job despite the grueling demands and hours. He always smiled at customers and knew the names of all the regulars. He even slipped free drinks to the group when his manager was out.
The night of Mary’s date, he and Remus had spent two hours discussing music and finding out they had nearly the exact same taste. They had argued over artists and albums until Remus was fiddling with his fifth beer and the room had emptied out almost completely so he could only hear the music Sirius was playing over the loudspeakers.
“It’s going to be harder for you to maintain this act if we keep getting along so well,” Sirius said, hair falling in strands out of the bun he had pulled back and eyes shining, his stupidly perfect model-quality smile in its usual place.
“Act?”
Sirius nodded, taking a clean glass and drying it before replacing it on the shelf behind him. “The one where you pretend to hate me and be annoyed by everything I do. Don’t deny it.”
“I don’t hate you,” Remus said, avoiding Sirius’ gaze.
Sirius smiled wider. “Yeah, but you pretend to.”
Before Remus could come up with a rebuttal, Sirius’ eyes widened at something behind him. Remus whipped around.
“Is that,” he said slowly, “James?”
“And Evans?” Sirius said in similar shock. “Sitting in a booth together? And she’s not using their proximity to murder him.”
“Are they on a date?”
“Impossible,” Sirius said. “I wonder what they’re up to, shall I say something to them?”
Remus turned back to Sirius, erasing the mental image of Lily Evans actually giggling at something James had said from his head. “Nah. What kind of friend would that make you as your best mate is finally getting somewhere with the girl he’s been pining over for an embarrassingly long time and you interrupt them.”
Sirius nodded, relenting. “Good point.” He wrinkled his eyebrows. “Is that Jack?”
“Who’s Jack?” Remus asked, turning around and seeing the man Sirius had recognised, tall and well built with curly black hair and a classically handsome smile.
“The guy Marlene set Mary up with.”
“But,” Remus started, turning sharply back to Sirius, “it can’t be him, he’s here.”
Sirius nodded, waiting for Remus to catch on.
“Well that’s not good.”
Noticing Jack, James had left the booth with Lily and taken the stool beside Remus. “What’s he doing here? Isn’t that Mary’s date?”
“Yep,” Sirius said, arms crossed and his smile turned into a frown. “What do we do?”
James considered this for a moment, drumming on the counter with his knuckles. He called Jack over.
“Hey guys,” Jack said, ambling over through the chairs and tables. “Are you Remus? Marlene mentioned you to the team. Think she’s trying to set you up.”
“Aren’t you supposed to be on that date with Mary?” Sirius asked, ignoring what he had said.
“Ooh,” Jack chuckled, “that.”
“Yeah that,” James said. “What happened?”
Jack winced and rubbed the back of his head. “You know how it is,” Jack said, “sometimes they get a little clingy. I mean, we haven’t even gone out yet and she was already messaging me every day. Bad sign, especially since I want to keep things casual.”
“So you broke it off?” James asked, incredulous.
Jack shrugged. “No but she’ll figure it out.” He stopped when he saw the other three weren’t on his side. “Sorry, didn’t know you were that close to her.” Then Jack walked out without ordering anything.
“So,” Remus said, trailing off.
“So, Mary’s currently sitting in a restaurant by herself, waiting for some twat who’s never going to show?” In the short time Remus had known him, he had never seen Sirius so intense, smoke was practically coming out of his nose. “Should we text her?” Sirius asked, pulling out his phone.
“Nah,” James said, pulling on his coat. “We’re going to do much more than that. Text Pete to meet us by the car.”
“Oi, Potter,” Lily called out from the booth they had been sharing. “Another round?”
James groaned and turned back to the others. “Bugger,” he muttered under his breath.
“Don’t worry, mate,” Sirius said, jumping over the counter in one sweeping motion and patting a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “We’ll go. You stay with her.”
James seemed to consider this for a second, then he shook his head. “No. We’ve got to do this together,” he said, turning back to Lily. “Sorry, Evans, next time.”
Lily looked at him in disbelief for a moment before picking up her coat and stomping out of the pub.
“Alright, follow her lead, everyone,” Sirius called to the small handful of people left in the pub. “Out, the place is closed for the night, important marauders business.”
The restaurant Mary was waiting at was far too expensive for her on her own, but Jack had offered to pay so she had agreed. She just hoped the bread was free because she had gone through about three baskets. Fiddling with her salad fork, she willed herself not to check her phone again. The time couldn’t have changed much since the last time she checked and no new texts would be waiting for her, no matter what her dying hope told her. The good in Mary told her he probably had a very good excuse and had either been in a terrible accident or someone he knew had. But after nearly an hour at her table and no explanation, it was getting more difficult to remain optimistic and forgiving.
“I’m terribly sorry,” a waitress said, coming up to her table. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to give up your table if you’re not going to order anything.”
Mary stared at her before taking a gulp of her water. “Look,” she said, “I know how sad I look, and I’m actually sort of hoping that leads to pity. But this is a very expensive restaurant and I can’t even afford a starter on my own. My date was supposed to pay but he’s not here, so can I please just have another ten or fifteen minutes. I know it’s pathetic, but I’m sure he’ll phone or come or something.”
“I truly am sorry,” the waitress repeated. “But I’ve a table waiting and we need to clear this one in order to seat them.”
Mary looked down at her hands and willed the tears not to come. Serves her right for trying to put herself out there again.
“We’re here!” A voice called out, running to the table from the entrance.
“We’ve arrived,” a second voice chimed in, panting.
“We didn’t miss our date did we?”
Mary's gaze snapped up and there in front of her were James, Sirius, Peter, and Remus all standing in a huddle in front of her table. Remus was coughing into his arm, bent over slightly and out of breath, standing as if he was fighting off the urge to vomit. The other three boys just beamed at her.
“You’re all her dates?” the waitress asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Yes we are her four boyfriends,” James said, sitting down. “Sorry we’re late. Terrible accident with a four person tandem bicycle.”
“It’s the 21st century, Polyamory is a thing, get with it,” Sirius said to the waitress, taking a seat next to James at the table.
Remus peered in the basket. “Could we get more bread?”
The waitress huffed, “And a menu perhaps.” She walked off with their bread basket.
“I can’t believe you all came,” Mary said, voice cracking and eyes filling with tears.
“Come on,” Sirius said. “You’re part of the team now.”
“Yeah,” Peter laughed. “You don’t get out that easily.”
Mary started fanning her eyes with her hands. “That is so kind.”
“Don’t mention it,” James said. “Really, stop mentioning it. You’re starting to cry onto your plate.”
Peter looked around. “Not to mention everyone is staring.”
“Hey don’t cry,” Remus said, awkwardly patting Mary’s arm, wanting nothing more than for the tears to stop. “Because he seemed like a really terrible guy and you’re you know, you’re pretty or–not that I, I mean, you–” At this Mary just sobbed harder. Remus looked around at the others and started doing something that no one expected. “Because,” he cleared his throat awkwardly and started singing incredibly off-key, “‘you are the dancing queen, young and sweet only seventeen.’”
Mary looked up at him, tear tracks painted in black from her mascara. Remus looked to the other three and gestured for them to join in, surprisingly they all did.
“‘Dancing queen,’” James sang, even more out of tune than Remus.
“‘Feel the beat of the tambourine,’” Sirius sang, shaking his hands to mock the instrument.
“‘Oh yeah!’” Peter sang loudly, joining in with the others.
“‘You can dance,’” Mary sang along, voice cracking, “‘you can jive.’”
“Having the time of your life!” They all shouted together, ignoring the whispers and stray looks they were gaining from the customers who paid too much to deal with this display of cheap theatre.
“Okay,” the waitress said, returning. “You all need to leave.”
Sirius pushed in his chair and took Mary’s hand, twirling her around the table and leading the others out with James as they scream-sang through the rest of the chorus until they were out of the restaurant and leaping through the streets of London hand-in-hand.
“Ow, that was my foot, Pete.”
“I’m James, Pete’s over there.”
“Oh, sorry, Wormtail. Ow, that was my foot, James.”
“Sorry, mate.”
“Do you think he’s asleep?”
“Well, thanks to you two, he’s probably wide awake.”
“What did we do? You’re the one complaining about your foot.”
“Cause you stepped on it.”
“Ow!”
“Yeah, how’s it feel?”
“Will you all shut it?” Remus said, cutting the others off and turning on his light. “If you were going to whisper and still be loud, you might as well have just come in here screaming. Can you lot go now? I’ve a lot of packing to do in the morning.”
“Pack?” James said.
“Whatever for?” Sirius said, raising a sleek eyebrow.
Remus sighed, sitting up and pulling off his blanket. “Mary won, she got more points. It’s fine, I knew the rules when I signed up for this ridiculous plan.”
“But didn’t you see the board?” Peter asked, pulling it out from behind his back. “It’s a draw.”
Remus looked at their scores, sure enough they did have the same score. But he knew it hadn’t been like that when he went to sleep.
“You don’t really think we were going to let you go, especially not after tonight?” James asked, taking out a candle and lighting it then passing it to Sirius and lighting another.
“Yeah,” Sirius said, taking the candle. “You heard James a fortnight ago. The scoring system is arbitrary. I mean we fully intended on only picking one flatmate, but we just expected that one of you would be a nutter or something and we would have an easy excuse to kick you out.”
“But once we realised that both of you are completely wonderful,” Peter continued, taking a candle from James, “we adjusted the plan a bit.”
“Basically we fostered two puppies from the pound and now we can’t bear to separate them so,” James said, handing Remus his own candle, “welcome to the marauders, friend!”
Remus took the candle, wincing a bit as the wax dripped on his hands. “The marauders?” he asked. “Is that that stupid name you all called yourself earlier?”
Sirius gasped and clutched a hand to his chest. “He thinks our title is stupid. He insults us.”
“Well, he’s one of us now so it’s okay,” James said. “The marauders is a highly esteemed and elite organization that handles only the most important of issues.”
“Basically, it’s just what we call our little group and we prank people sometimes,” Peter said.
“Pranks?” Remus asked. “What are you, children?”
“Maybe,” Sirius said. “But if you join us, you won’t be victim to our evil plans.”
“That’s good enough for me,” Remus said. “What about Mary?”
“No girls allowed,” Sirius said.
James put a hand on Sirius’ shoulder. “That’s sexist mate,” he said. “She just didn’t want to join.”
“And she almost hit my head with a book when she saw us coming into her room,” Peter said, rubbing the spot where he nearly gained a concussion.
“Are you ready to take the marauder's oath?” James asked as he inched forward.
“What’s the marauder's oath?”
“Just repeat after me,” James said, clearing his throat. “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.”