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T’was the weekend before Christmas, and all through the building formerly known as The Kaibadome, the audience was participating in unfettered capitalism the likes of which could only be seen under an economic system that was, at present, dominated entirely by the sale of a slightly-cursed card game from ancient Egypt. That was to say, it was a pretty normal day in Domino City.
Thousands of adoring fans had packed the stadium to the brim for KaibaCorp's annual Christmas Show Duel, this year's billboard advertisements proudly displaying the words "KAIBAMAN VERSUS SANTA: ON ICE!" Popcorn was being sold by former suits dressed in aprons trimmed with decorative lights with santa hats on their heads. The crowd roared with excitement at every card effect activated, even though the duel had gone on for well over twenty turns already.
"With the effect of Reckless Greed, I draw the last two cards from my deck!" Zipping around the other performer's cumbersome sleigh with practiced ease, Kaibaman drew the last two cards from his deck by swinging his arm in a magnificent arc. He held them high, for all the audience to see. Those who couldn't? They needed only look at one of the massive screens broadcasting zoomed in shots of the action. The cards were so iconic as to need no introduction- Polymerization, and the unmistakable yellow and blue of Blue-Eyes White Dragon.
Kaibaman let out a maniacal laugh straight from the chest, slapping the spell card down onto his duel disk with reckless abandon. "Our audience has been waiting long enough. It's time to finish this farce of a duel! Using the three Blue-Eyes White Dragons in my hand, I fusion summon- go, Blue-Eyes Alternative Ultimate Dragon!"
The stadium darkened with a hush as the Solid Vision's energy coalesced behind Kaibaman, before the massive dragon crashed into the ice with a tremendous noise. Deep fissures now ran through the ice, forcing the ever-moving duelists to dodge out of the way. (All merely for show, of course. OSHA guidelines had stopped him from actually detonating explosives beneath the ice, as much as he had wanted to.) Towering over the combatants, the dragon's roar as she opened her three mouths was almost as enormous as her entrance.
Old Saint Nicholas had best be contemplating if being a Saint offered him some protection from the divine judgment that was about to be cast upon him.
But the old man had little time to think, as Kaibaman's turn was not yet over. Pulling one more card from his hand and slamming it onto the field, he declared, "I activate the effect of Ancient Rules! This card allows me to summon one level 5 or higher Normal Monster from my hand without tributing. I choose... Dragon Spirit of White!"
The audience murmured to themselves about the orange-bordered card that was now on the field. It would not have been the first time someone from KaibaCorp cheated at a duel, especially in the name of making it a more interesting show. However, Kaibaman quickly addressed this- "Dragon Spirit of White is considered a Normal Monster when it is in my hand or graveyard. But that doesn't matter anymore! What does matter is its effect when it's summoned. And that effect... is to destroy that set card of yours!"
Bursting into sparkles as it was hit by the monster's beam, the trap card was revealed- Ice Barrier.
"Thought you could escape with a mere battle trick? Pathetic," sneered Kaibaman.
"Win or lose, you're definitely going on the naughty list for that one!" replied Santa, pulling tight on the reins of his team of Valerifawn as they leapt over one of the newly formed ice chasms, jolting the sleigh severely.
"Oh, please. I can always get naughtier! Battle!" The two great white dragons finally began to move, chasing after the racing sleigh as it twirled and leapt to dodge. "My Dragon Spirit of White attacks your face-down monster!"
With a great explosion, the monster was flipped face-up. "I activate the effect of Snowman Eater," shouted Santa over the cacophony of the blast combined with the raucous cheers of the audience. "When this little critter gets flipped up, it destroys one monster on the field! And today, it'll be your Blue-Eyes Alternative Ultimate Dragon!"
Kaibaman couldn't help but let out another maniacal laugh. "You old fool! Blue-Eyes Alternative Ultimate Dragon is far too powerful to be destroyed by your meager card effects!" And indeed she was. Though the beast lunged for his monster's center mass, its teeth shattered to pieces against Alternative Ultimate's hardened scales. Uselessly, the monster fell to the ground and disappeared.
"You're wide open now! Blue-Eyes Alternative Ultimate Dragon, direct attack!" Kaibaman commanded, dramatically pointing at his opponent. The dragon's gems lit up one by one as she charged three lasers in her three mouths. Though Santa swerved out of the way, he could not hope to escape the full blast, as Kaibaman confidently declared, "Alternative Ultimate Burst!"
The crowd gasped as the dimmed stadium was suddenly filled with blinding light, sending a shock through the stands as Santa's sleigh was thrown violently into the wall. Seven of its eight Valerifawn were suddenly reduced to photons, disappearing like dust in the wind. Still, the old man was able to shove it upright and begin riding again, though significantly slower now that it had lost most of its power.
"Hmph. You may be clinging to life for now, but don't look forward to staying alive much longer. I end my turn," proclaimed Kaibaman.
"Looks like it's just you and me, Rudy," said Santa, reaching down to give his single remaining deer- one with a brilliant red nose- a pat on the head. "I draw!" While he made it look easy, the truth was that he had needed to practice for months to draw a single card from the top of his deck with these mittens on. Regardless, the one he did draw painted a massive smile on the jolly old saint's face.
With a jovial "ho-ho-ho" despite his dire situation, Santa did the unthinkable- he tossed his newly drawn card to Kaibaman, who was almost as shocked as the audience, though he still managed to no-sell catching it. "Seems like you've been a little too greedy this year, Kaibaman!"
"What is the meaning of this?!"
"I activate the effect of Santa Claws," he stated proudly, "which allows me to special summon it to your field by tributing one of your monsters. I choose Blue-Eyes Alternative Ultimate Dragon!"
The crowd gasped.
Kaibaman gasped.
But true to Santa's word, the fiend's clawed hands reached from a crack in the ice, grabbing and dragging the Ultimate Dragon down and stuffing her whole into its massive sack of presents.
"Impossible!" shrieked the opponent. The dragon he had worked so hard to assemble was gone in the span of a few seconds. And to something as ridiculous as this? He balled up his fists in rage, cut gouges into the ice with his skates as he moved, threw his hands dramatically into the air. "How could this happen? My Ultimate Dragon, defeated by a mere festive fiend?"
He braced himself for the inevitable counterattack now that his massive dragon was gone, but-
"I activate the effect of Ice Barrier in my graveyard. I send Snowdrop the Rikka Fairy to the graveyard to add Silent Wobby back to my hand," he declared.
Kaibaman, shaking off that anger, began to chuckle, which soon became howling laughter. "Looks like you didn't have anything after all, huh, old man? That monster won't save you! With your life points as low as they are, all I need to do is put that monster you gave me in attack position to finish this!"
Santa smiled in response. "Christmas is a time of giving, you know."
"Cut the chatter, sore loser."
"Seems you haven't been paying close enough attention to the number of cards in your deck."
"Hah, have you forgotten the effect of Reckless Greed? I skip my draw phase for the next two turns! More than long enough to pummel you!"
There was a glimmer in Santa's eye.
The audience went quiet once more.
"I special summon Silent Wobby- to your side of the field!"
The crowd went wild. Kaibaman gasped.
"Excuse me?!"
"Merry Christmas, Kaibaman. When Silent Wobby is summoned to your field, you draw one card!"
The fish flopped unceremoniously onto his field... until it smacked him in the face, and he hit the ice, having lost in perhaps the most ridiculous fashion possible- decking out to a mandatory draw effect.
The entire audience cheered as Saint Nick hopped off his sleigh and pulled Kaibaman up off the ice and to his feet. He subtly fiddled with the microphone on his collar, ho-ho-hoing the moment it was back in position. "Now, Kaibaman. I hope this duel has taught you a lesson about the spirit of the season!"
Kaibaman growled, but nodded. "...Right, giving and not taking."
"That's right," agreed Santa with a nod. "And how about we start that giving right now? I think we could start taking your name off of that naughty list if you were to, say... give some autographs to our wonderful audience?"
Kaibaman looked like poor little Rudolph in the headlights as the crowd instantly began filing into queues.