Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The first thing Dean Winchester saw when he came to himself was smoke. He looked around the car before facing Sam who was barely conscious and surrounded by blood. 

“Sammy, keep those puppy eyes open, I’ll get us out.” Dean promised, his voice was breaking from the smoke inhalation. He didn’t know the condition of the impala, but he knew what happened wasn’t just going to leave a small dent. I got to go through the window. 

He mustered the strength to force his body to maneuver the way he needed to go and despite the feeling of glass shards cutting into him, he crawled out. 

Call for help. Get Sammy, protect Sammy. 

Dean limped over to the passenger side and realized that Sam couldn’t move, nor could he get out. He pulled his phone out and sat down on the road as close to his brother as possible. “It’s okay, Sammy. I’m calling for help, stay with me.” 

As he dialed emergency services, he glanced over at his brother. 

“911, what’s your emergency?”

“Someone hit us on the road. My brother needs help, he can’t move.” Dean was full on panicking at that point. 

“Is he breathing?”

“For now, but it looks really bad.” 

“Okay, sir, stay calm. The ambulance will be there in twenty minutes–”

“Make them go faster, he won’t last that long.”

“I understand, but if you can remain calm that would help your brother. You know what I’m saying?” 

He cleared his throat and took a few deep breaths. “What do I need to do?”

“Stay with him and talk to him. That’s all you can do before we get there.”

Dean hung up the phone and grasped Sam’s hand. “Sam, talk to me.”

“I’m tired, Dee.” Sam whispered brokenly.

He felt his stomach clench. “I know, buddy. Just keep those eyes open.” 

Dean knew that his brother was fading away quickly, but he couldn’t break down just yet. He knew the outcome could turn bad this time and time was running out. Another known thing was the undeniable fact that he had a concussion. 

He squeezed Sam’s hand repeatedly. “We’ll be okay. I’m right here, Sammy.” 

His brother never responded. 

He leaned his head against his knees and silently begged the universe. Please, don’t let him die, I need him. Please. 

Time felt like an infinite hour until the bright, flashing lights brought him back to the present as he stood on his feet. 

“Sir, what happened?” A medic asked. 

“Someone hit us. I think they were drunk.” Dean answered as he saw two others rush to the car. 

The medic started taking a look at Dean’s head. “That looks bad, but I can fix it right here.”

“No, Sammy goes first–”

“It’ll take longer for us to take care of him, okay? Let me fix you up,” she led him to the back of the ambulance. “We’ll do everything we can for him.” She started tending to his head as he stared at the scene in front of them. 

The other medics managed to pull Sam out of the car and laid him on a stretcher as one of them yelled, “I think a rib pierced his lung!” 

Once Dean knew that he was ready to go, he rushed to his brother and looked at a medic. “Don’t let him die, you hear me?”

“We’ll do everything we can.” 

“I’m going with him. He never goes anywhere without me.” He added before the medics loaded Sam inside the ambulance. 

Dean followed in and sat next to him but gave the medic room to test the vitals; they were falling fast. He felt himself rocking back and forth as his body felt like clenching. 

~

The ride to the hospital felt like forever until they pulled up to the emergency door. As soon as the doors opened and the medics made their way out with Sam, Dean instantly followed. No one would stop him from trying to help his little brother. He loathed the smell of bleach and disinfectant. 

Doctors rushed in and performed tests to assess Sam’s injuries. 

“We need to get him up in the operating room.” A doctor said while walking out of the room to page the operating room.

Dean walked over to his brother and squeezed his hand. “Listen to me, you better come back from this, or I swear to–”

Suddenly, he looked down at his brother’s hand and no longer felt the relief of the thumping of a pulse. “Sam…hey, Sammy? Sam!” 

Nurses and doctors shoved him out of the room and started to perform code on Sam. Dean felt everything crumble around him. You better come back. I can’t do this without you, please. Fuck, don’t leave me alone, wait for me. 

A few minutes later, the heart monitor started beeping like normal again and Dean nearly fell on his knees if it weren't for the wall to lean on. He could only watch as they took Sam to the operating room. One doctor stayed behind to speak with Dean. 

“Hello, I’m Dr. Evans,” she greeted. “Why don’t let you sit down

Dean had no choice but to lead her to the waiting room. As he sat down, the doctor followed suit and looked through the medical chart. 

“Is he your brother?” She asked. 

He nodded. “Yeah, he’s my little brother.”

Dr. Evans searched through the chart. “They found a rib that pierced one of his lungs, and his brain is swollen due to the impact of the accident.”

“What does that mean?”

She took a deep breath and shifted her weight. “Even if the surgery does go well, he may never wake up.”

Dean glanced at her as his eyes grew teary. “Why?”

“He stopped breathing at the scene for a few minutes which did some damage. We won’t know what kind or how severe unless he wakes up.”

“Doc, you can’t let him die. You can’t…”

“I promise to do everything I can to prevent that, but I can’t make any promises.”

Dean bit his lip and stood up. “What am I supposed to do?”

“Go home, get some rest.”

With that, the doctor stood from her spot and made her to attend to other patients. Dean was left with what felt like hell surrounding him, and this hell was worse than the actual place. 

Chapter Text

Losing people wasn't a surprise for Dean, but losing Sam was something he could never get used to. Sammy, the boy he raised as if his own, was dying in some operating room and there was nothing he could do about it this time. He couldn't force himself to move from his spot as his big brother meter kept rising as if it was giving him some sort of warning. 

And even if he could've forced himself to move, he didn't exactly have a car to drive away. 

No crying, he thought to himself. Crying will only confirm that Sammy won't make it out. 

The vibrations from his phone shook him out of the fear-induced trance he was in, and he pulled out the phone and noticed text messages from Bobby and Castiel, who was newly human. 

Bobby: Call me son, I have a case that fits right in your alley. 

Castiel:  Hello, Dean. Where are you? It appears that you and Sam haven't returned to the bunker. Is everything alright? 

Dean choked a breath out and pushed on Bobby's contact to instantly call the older man. The ringing noise sure didn't help the situation. "Come on, Bobby, answer." 

"Hello?"

The older Winchester let out a deep breath, "Bobby, thank God."

Bobby's voice changed from urgency to worry when he heard the younger man's voice. "Dean, what happened son? Where's your brother?"

"It's bad, Bobby, it's really bad," Dean began as his emotions began to reveal themselves. "Someone hit us on the way back home. I'm fine, but Sammy's really messed up. Doctor said that he may never wake up if he survives the surgery." 

"Balls...where are you, son? Take a deep breath and tell me where you are so I can come over there."

"We're in Kansas...Lawrence...Memorial." 

"That's good, son. I'll be there soon with Cas."

Dean nodded, "Yeah, okay, I'll see you here." 

As Dean continued to stay seated in the chair, Dr. Evans returned and sat next to him.

"Hi, is it alright if I sit with you?" Dr. Evans asked. 

Dean nodded and gestured her to sit down. "How is he? Give it to me straight."

She handed him a file. "Sam went back into cardiac arrest, but we brought him back. His one of his lungs got punctured by a rib when the impact occurred; they managed to fix his lung, but he might have some lifelong complications. His head injury, however, is a different story and it's what we're worried about the most. There was a lot of swelling to his brain and his skull's fractured. I'm not sure how many head injuries he had in the past, but this one is the one that may become life-threatening. When he went so long with oxygen, brain cells were destroyed. We're not sure if he will wake up, but he's alive. Most comatose patients can hear you when you talk to them which helps some patients wake up.

"In this file, this will address everything you need to know about his injuries or possible injuries. I can't tell you when the surgery will be done, but you'll be the first to know when you're allowed to see him." 

Dean nodded despite the urge to scream at the doctor to try harder. "Thanks."

She smiled at him and patted his shoulder before attending to her work. Dean opened the file and was met with a plethora of information, starting the possible effects of brain damage. 

Damage to specific brain regions deprived of oxygen. Various brain regions tend to coordinate different functions, so some functions might be severely crippled while others remain intact. For instance, the injury survivor might be able to understand language but unable to speak.

Changes in mood or personality.

Difficulty with memory, including the ability to recall facts, names of objects and/or people, and faces. This can also interfere with the ability to learn new information or recall autobiographical facts.

Changes in motor skills. A number of brain regions help coordinate movement, so if these areas are damaged, you may struggle to walk, write, or engage in other functions.

Chronic pain. When the brain is damaged, it may incorrectly process pain signals, causing you to feel pain even when there is not an injury.

The inability to feel pain, or to correctly respond to pain signals. For instance, pain in your arm might feel like pain in your leg.

Difficulties with impulse control. 

Symptoms of mental illnesses such as depression or anxiety.

Dementia-like symptoms, including confusion, memory difficulties, and signs of rapid brain aging.

 The older brother sat the file down in the seat next to him as covered his face in his hands before attempting to calm himself down. "He's alive, Winchester, calm down..." 

As he was lost in his own mind, he missed the moment when the doors opened to reveal Bobby and Castiel. 

Chapter Text

Dean looked over to Bobby and Castiel before his face crumbled. The two rushed to his side, and Bobby pressed the younger man's head against his shoulder. He called himself lucky to have those two in his life; he wouldn't know what would happen if he didn't have them by his life in this life. 

"Dean, what are they saying?" Bobby asked. 

Dean responded by handing the older man the file Dr. Evans gave him. He felt Castiel's hand squeeze his as he read the file with Bobby, 

"If I had my grace--"

"I know, Cas," Dean cut him off. "We should be at home, falling asleep to Netflix. Not in this hospital. I felt his heart stop from under my fingers, and I swear if he doesn't survive..." He trailed off and buried his face in his hands. 

Bobby had already known what could happen if Sam was to die before his older brother, and he didn't fancy the idea of losing both of his kids. "Son, listen to me, Sam is strong--stronger than anyone we know. He'll come back, he always does, because he comes back for you." 

Castiel could only stare at the Winchester being so defeated, and it made him feel useless amongst them. He wished he was able to heal Sam, to reunite the brothers like the good old days. The angel knew Dean loved his little brother, but he didn't quite understand to what extent until fairly recently. 

Hours later, Dr. Evans walked in the waiting room and greeted Bobby and Castiel. "Hi, I'm Dr. Evans, I have an update on Sam."

Bobby nodded and asked, "What's the update?"

She sighed and sat them down. "He's stable but being stable only means his condition hasn't worsened," she began. "And the operation was touch and go, but we managed to repair what we could." 

"What about his head?" Dean asked. 

"Unfortunately, it's more likely that his brain will be damaged from the impact and loss of oxygen."

"Will he wake up?" Castiel asked. 

"We can't be sure." She replied, "However, we are hopeful that he will. He's able to breathe on his own with help from the oxygen cannula." 

Dean sighed. "Can we see him?" 

She nodded. "Of course, just keep in mind that his bruises and cuts aren't healing as we hoped due to malnutrition. He will be fed nutrients through the IV. Please follow me, and I'll take you to his room." 

The three men stood to follow her to the room where Sam was fighting for his life. Dean's stomach tied in knots when he realized his brother was on the ICU floor instead of the previous floor. 

Dr. Evans led them in the room and closed the door behind them to give some sort of privacy. 

"He looks bad, Bobby." Dean said. 

"I know it looks bad now, but he will heal in time." The older man attempted to assure the younger man. 

The older Winchester took another step towards his brother. "He's not hunting anymore." 

Castiel raised an eyebrow. "Dean, are you certain? There are many creatures out there." 

Neither Dean nor Bobby could get angry with the recently turned human. They understood Castiel was still learning about humans as a species. 

"If the kid's gonna have lasting injuries, he won't be able to." Bobby informed Cas, "His body won't be able to handle the stress." 

Dean clutched Sam's hand to his and pressed a kiss to the bruised knuckles. "It's okay, Sammy. Your big brother is here now." 

"We should consult the doctor about allowing him to stay with his brother as he is most likely to keep Sam calm if he wakes up." Castiel asserted. 

Bobby hummed, "You're damn right about that." He walked to Dean and patted his shoulder, "We'll be right outside."

Dean nodded in agreement and waited for the door to close. "Sammy, if you can hear me, come back to me. We'll do whatever you want. Hell, I'll even play that crap you call music. I just need my kid brother back." He looked at the younger man's vitals and let out a huff, "I'm not leaving you again. I'm gonna be right where when you wake up." 

His mind took him back to when they were kids.

~~

Dean was reading his little brother a bedtime story as he did every night. 

"Dee?" Sam asked. 

"Hmm?"

"What if I wake up one day and you're gone." 

Dean stared at the younger boy. "I don't know, but you won't have to find out you're really old." 

"Santa old?"

"Yeah, kiddo."