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Ahh, movie night. A stereotypical thing for housemates to have, but since Todd had insisted upon it to, quote, “get to know each other better”, they did it every Friday night. They usually watched romcoms. As odd as it was for someone like Eduardo to enjoy those sorts of “chick flicks”, he did just as much as the others (as much as he’d try to deny it).
Well, tonight was Friday night, and it was that time again. Eduardo sat down the pizza they had ordered, muttering something about how “Jon shouldn’t have been the one to order.”
“So… uh, Todd, what movie did you get?” Eduardo asked.
Todd grinned and held up a DVD, “It’s one of our classics! You’ll know it when it starts!” He tossed it to Jon, who fumbled with it for a moment before placing it in the disc reader, and…!
…Just as the opening credits were about to start, the TV went blank.
“Wow,” Mark said, reaching down to pull out his book.
“Err, what now?” Jon asked.
“Hmm... Wouldn’t it be cool if we could just, visit heaven or something?” Todd said.
“Why would we do that?” Eduardo said, “And how would we even get there without dying?”
…
Roughly three minutes later, they were all crowded around Eduardo’s clunky excuse of a PC, Googling ‘how to go to heaven (without dying)’. Apparently you could just click a link on a shady-looking website and you’d go there instantly! Upon clicking said link, an elevator came crashing through the ceiling.
“That’s… gonna cost a lot to fix,” Mark said under his breath.
“Let’s go to heaven!” Todd said, grabbing ahold of Jon’s hand.
They all filed into the elevator alongside a chorus of cheers and Mark’s usual silence. The ride seemed to take forever, forever ascending somehow, as they waited in boredom. Todd checked his nonexistent watch, causing Jon to point out that Todd didn’t have a watch, prompting an exaggerated eyeroll from Eduardo.
Eventually, the elevator stopped. With a pleasant little ding! , they were let out into a quite dreamy-looking place. In front of them were golden gates and a regular door. The door was labeled “Tourists”, so that’s the door they chose. Eduardo purposely slammed the door right in Jon’s face.
“Woah!” Todd leaned against the glass separating them from the actual “afterlife” section, “This is heaven? What a sight!”
“It looks kinda boring,” Eduardo said.
“Hey, don’t be like that, ya grump!” Todd nudged Eduardo. “Let’s look around!”
They looked around for a while, seeing some people enjoying their… death? and carrying on. After a while, they stopped at a quaint little cafe made specifically for tourists.
“Hey, it should be alright if it’s literally in heaven,” Mark said. “Why not give it a shot?” He sounded more like he was convincing himself of that, rather than anyone else, but everyone followed him inside so as to not lose the group entirely.
The menu consisted of all of their favorite foods, all for free. “Jeez, this really is heaven, huh?” Eduardo said, slamming his menu down as he did literally everything.
“Well, yeah,” Jon replied. “That is where we are.”
“But we aren’t dead! Gah, what’s stopping people from just staying here forever?” Todd said, leaning back in his chair. “Well, some people are here forever because they’re dead, but you get my point.”
A waitress, who had overheard them, stopped by. “Can’t stay for longer than two days and can only visit once a month,” she supplied whilst pulling out a pen and notepad.
“Ohh, how neat! Isn’t it neat, Jon?”
“Hm? Oh, yeah, it is! Can I get uhh… root beer, please?”
The waitress’ gaze halted at Jon, her eyebrows creasing just a tad, before jotting down his order, which was shortly followed by everyone else’s.
“What was that look about, Jon?” Eduardo asked as soon as the waitress was out of earshot.
“What look?”
“She looked at you funny.”
“No, she didn’t.”
“She did! Right, Mark?”
“I wasn’t paying attention.”
Eduardo just dropped the conversation there, lightly punching the table. When the waitress came back with their drinks, they decided against getting food, as they had already bought pizza that they had left home.
They headed down the tourists’ path a little more and arrived at a building titled “Personal Heaven.”
“Hey, look!” Todd was practically ecstatic, “Personal heavens!”
“Thanks, Captain Obvious,” Eduardo said before ushering everyone else in. As they filed past what appeared to be the receptionist’s desk, they stopped short.
“Is that actually Jesus?” Eduardo asked, partially mortified.
“No, it’s a statue of him.” Jon said, poking the statue.
“What the- Why would there just be a statue of Jesus?!”
“I dunno! Don’t ask me!”
They moved past the receptionist’s desk and made their way to their personal heaven.
Eduardo peered into his. Everything was covered with him (and his friends) and everything was praising him. There was an apology note from Edd taped to a bulletin board of his artwork- not Edd’s, his - and there seemed to be an unlimited amount of Diet Coke.
He pulled himself out of the doorway before he could visibly cry.
Next up was Mark. His would be boring to the average person, he assumed- it was a massive library, and the atmosphere was rather calm. There was a freezer full of what he guessed was ice cream based on his preferences. There wasn’t much to look at, so he left with a shrug.
Jon was next. At first glance, his looked like his regular home, but filled with Christmas decorations, but a closer inspection led to him realizing there were happier pictures lining the walls. There were none of anyone he disliked- namely, his neighbor, Tom- and most of them were him and Todd. It was a struggle to leave.
Lastly, Todd leaned a little too far into his. It appeared to be a little room with photos of him and his housemates, all happy, and newspaper clippings stating that complete world peace had been achieved. There was a little spot for his weaponry studies in one area of the place.
As they left, a little sign prompted them to visit the gift shop, in which they bought cheesy-looking “heaven merchandise.” They exited towards where signs prompted them to, and an angel held the door for them.
“Bye-bye!” It said to Eduardo,
“Thanks for visiting!” to Mark,
“Hope you enjoyed it!” to Todd, and
“See you soon!” to Jon.