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i.
“ Huuuh? Samasama never got to kiss anybody~?”
Ramuda’s voice is as obnoxious as ever as he settles himself on Samatoki’s lap. “That sucks! Luckily, I’m here!”
Samatoki shoves Ramuda off of him, sending him falling off the couch and onto Ichiro’s back. “Shut up.” Jakurai laughs quietly at their shenanigans.
“You didn’t even let Amemura propose kissing you yet.” the doctor points out, hiding a chuckle behind their hand. “That must be a new record.”
“Actually the ‘Samatoki tells Ramuda to shut up’ record is at roughly 45 seconds. This one took longer.” Ichiro clarifies. When did he start tracking that? Why did he start tracking that? Samatoki groans.
“I can’t believe I tried to open up to you assholes.” he mutters, lighting a cigarette and aiming towards the open window. “So much for emotional vulnerability. I guess you’ll be stuck with me being ‘broody and stuck-up’ for the rest of your lives.”
“You wouldn’t be all depressing if you let Ramu-chan give you a kiss~” Ramuda tries, hopping off of Ichiro and back onto Samatoki. He turns away, praying to God that the heat near his face is from his cigarette and not his face flushing.
“If I kiss you, will ya shut the fuck up?” Samatoki asks. Ramuda nods, earnestly and with a cute, catlike grin. “Fuckin’ fine.”
Ramuda grabs Samatoki’s cigarette out of his mouth before pressing a quick peck to his lips, and it barely even happens but his lips like cherry lip gloss and it doesn’t mesh well with the smoke but surprisingly he finds that he doesn’t care. When Ramuda sits back on his heels he’s blushing but grinning ear-to-ear.
“Cute.” Ichiro comments, offhand. Jakurai hums in agreement.
Samatoki doesn’t feel as bad as he did before. Maybe Ramuda’s kisses do have some kind of weird healing power, after all.
ii.
Samatoki’s riding a victory high, and it feels damn amazing.
Even after a meal with Jyuto and Rio (takeout, because while he loves Rio he will not ruin this night with his weird forest food) he’s on cloud nine, which hasn’t happened since he lost Nemu. There’s a part of him that wants to let the guilt of being happy without her eat at his mind, but for once he ignores it.
“Sa~ma~to~ki!” A familiar voice calls down the Chuuoku hallway. He turns to see Ramuda, waving and grinning even though something seems off. “Congratulations!”
“…thanks.” he says, not ready to let Ramuda dampen his mood. “Your boys did alright too.”
“Alright isn’t good enough.” Ramuda replies, voice deepening. “Fucking Jakurai and his stupid dogs.”
“Don’t harsh on Sensei too much. I dunno what the fuck happened between you ‘n him but you’re such an asshole about him these days.”
“Hypocrite.” Ramuda growls. “You have so much stupid beef with Ichiro.” He’s not…wrong, but neither is Samatoki. And the beef isn’t stupid. Ichiro took away his sister, and that’s unforgivable.
“I’m not lettin’ you ruin my winning night, fucker. Tell Arisugawa that Rio said hi.” Samatoki says, turning to leave. Ramuda tugs at his wrist as he turns to leave.
“Sorry!” he says, voice sugary as it normally is. “Totes didn’t mean to be a downer on Toki-chan’s night. Anything I can do to make up for it~?” Samatoki stares down at him.
“Well, you c-“
“Kiss you?!” Ramuda cries, cutting him off. “What a genius idea!”
Samatoki sighs, knowing damn well he won’t make it out of this one. “Fine. Just ‘cause I feel sorry for ya.”
Ramuda’s face changes within a millisecond. “Sorry? Sorry for me? ”
“Get your damn kiss.” Samatoki scoffs, just as Ramuda leaps at him, smashing his lips against the yakuza’s. There’s no tenderness or love behind it, and he tastes like smoke. There’s still the faintest hint of cherry behind it all, but it’s blanketed in the taste of cigarettes that Samatoki knows all too well.
“This was nothing.” Ramuda hisses into his ear. “Goodnight, Samasama~”
Samatoki shoves his hands in his pockets and leaves, trying to get Ramuda off his mind and the taste of him out of his mouth.
iii.
Sasara.
Sasara is here.
Sasara is here and she has a team.
Thoughts swirl in Samatoki’s mind as he paces around in an empty Chuuoku room, so stressed and upset that he can’t even bring himself to light a cigarette. Sasara is here, and she’s okay, and she’s moved on from him. So much for the thought that maybe she’d regret leaving Mad Comic Dialogue.
He curses aloud, slamming his head into the wall and wincing when it makes a noise. If someone hears him in here he’s fucked. Especially someone from his team, because they’ll see him weak. They’ll see him…missing someone.
He slides to the floor, refusing to acknowledge the hot tears streaming down his face. A man is only meant to cry when someone in his family dies, and Sasara is alive and well. So what the fuck is wrong with him?
“…Toki?” A small voice asks. When he turns, Ramuda is there and he grits his teeth. This is the asshole who took Nemu away from him.
“I can’t deal with your fucking shit right now, Ramuda. Go away.” he snaps, trying to keep the watery tone in his voice at bay. He isn’t about to sob in front of Ramuda of all people. His breath quickens and he bites his lip.
“Hey-“ Ramuda’s voice is at its natural pitch-or what he assumes is his natural pitch-as he sinks down next to him on the floor. Samatoki can barely bring himself to shove the other man away as he places a hand on his upper arm. Maybe this isn’t the usual bullshit, after all. “what happened?” He tries to speak, but nothing happens-Ramuda nods and slides so that he’s in front of Samatoki. “Okay. Breathe with me?”
Samatoki thinks it’s stupid, but he tries to match his breathing with Ramuda’s. It takes a few minutes, but he looks up at the younger man with dry eyes. “All good?”
“What did you fuckin’ do that for?” Samatoki asks, incredulous. Ramuda just shrugs, uncharacteristically subdued.
“Been there.” he mumbles, unwrapping a lollipop. “I know you don’t want me around ‘cause of the other day. Good luck tomorrow.”
“Wait.” the yakuza says, catching Ramuda’s wrist as he opens the door. “I…shit. Thanks.”
Ramuda looks up at him with a sad smile, one that Samatoki hasn’t seen in years. It’s these rare… normal moments with him that he’s missed, really, moments where it feels like he’s closer to Ramuda’s true self. In that fleeting second he forgets that he’s angry at the man next to him.
“Always.” Ramuda mutters, pressing a small kiss to Samatoki’s wrist, seemingly without thinking. “Uh. Bye.”
Ramuda throws open the door and darts off down the hall, leaving his mark on Samatoki’s wrist and on his life.
+1
“Hey.”
Samatoki stares. “Hey yourself.”
“New Years Eve!! Woo…hoo?” Ramuda doesn’t sound too enthusiastic.
“Sure. Why are you here?” Samatoki asks, letting him in anyway. He’ll always let Ramuda in, no matter what. Nemu is safe. That was the only thing really keeping him from hanging out with Ramuda, and now that she’s okay and he has a little bit of an explanation…well, he’s never been that bad. He’s on the list of people that Samatoki tolerates.
“I dunno. Gentaro’s…busy and Dice is out gambling, and I was worried you were alone.” It’s surprisingly thoughtful and Samatoki’s heart flutters, just a little. Damn repressed feelings.
“You don’t gotta worry about me.” he insists, sipping his beer. “But…uh. Do you wanna drink?”
“Sure.” Ramuda replies stiffly. “Hey, I…I gotta tell you something.” Samatoki’s head is filled with possibilities. Before he can bother stressing over what they are, Ramuda is sitting next to him, looking almost anxious. “All those years ago…when we kissed. Maybe it was, uh, not entirely for your benefit.”
Samatoki’s heart stops. “What’re you sayin’?”
“I’m saying that kissing you is nice.” Ramuda laughs. “And, well, there’s a tradition involving just that coming up in-“ he spares a glance at the wall clock-“three minutes. So, what d’you say? Wanna ring in the new, probably shitty year with a little bit of ~danger~?”
Samatoki, for the first time, can’t help but laugh at Ramuda wiggling his fingers at the word danger. For all his deep-seated shit that kept him from being emotional, at his core he’s still the same annoying dork Samatoki knows him to be. He pulls Ramuda into his lap, recalling their placements on the TDD couch all those years ago. “You’re my favorite kinda danger.”
“Cheesy ass.” Ramuda laughs, pressing his cheek into Samatoki’s chest. “Is it too early to say it?”
Truthfully, Samatoki’s wanted to say it forever. It would be so easy to tell Ramuda he loves him, but, well…
“Wait until next year.” he says, taking delight in the way Ramuda’s face sinks, then lights up again as he laughs, free and light and real.
The clock strikes midnight. Samatoki knows because Ramuda kisses him, full and with tears of joy streaming down his cheeks. He doesn’t taste like cherry or smoke, but a slight combination of them that’s so unique. Samatoki hopes he can taste this for the rest of his life. It may be stupid tradition, but it feels like more for the first time ever.
“It’s next year.” Samatoki says when they pull apart, foreheads resting together. Ramuda smiles.
“I love you.” he says, diving back in and as they melt into each other Samatoki is truly and genuinely happy that this finally means something.
“Love you too, Ramuda.”