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Lack of sleep was affecting you again. In the last nights, no matter how tired you were, it had been impossible for you to fall asleep. Every day was getting harder to get through, exhaustion taking hold of your body and mudding your mind, but as soon as you rested your head on the pillow your eyes would stay wide open like an owl.
He had noticed you weren’t alright, Osamu. He always noticed, even if you tried to hide your problems from him. Maybe it had been your grumpiness giving it away, or maybe he had noticed the growing dark circles under your eyes. However he had found out, he now observed you, sitting by your side on your bed, his expression pensive.
“You haven’t been sleeping well,” he muttered at some point, breaking the silence.
His finger caressed your arm up and down.
With a sigh, you answered:
“I haven’t been sleeping. At all.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know.”
He redistributed the weight of his body on the bed, the mattress creaking under him.
You envied Osamu. It was so easy for him to fall asleep anywhere, be it on the bed at the end of the day, on the sofa at any time during the day, in a train, a car… You named it. Give him a slightly horizontal surface to lie on and he’d soon doze off.
When it came to you, on the other hand… You had become an expert at jealously watching Osamu sleep like a kid while you couldn’t even do so on your own trusted bed. It had its advantages: you could memorize his beautiful face without creeping him out, but at this point you already knew every detail of his features better than himself.
“Tonight I’ll help you sleep,” he said, his fingers now playing on your shoulder and finding the crook of your neck.
“Getting dirty-minded?” You groaned. “I’m too tired to do that right now.”
“No, I wasn’t thinking about that, don’t worry. More like… helping you relax.”
He lay down by your side, his body touching yours. As usual, his presence felt warm and comforting, and he wrapped his arm around you to pull you closer. Now you were the one who pressed your fingers against his arm and caressed his skin.
“Turn off the lights?” he suggested, and you obeyed with a grumble, extending your free arm to turn the night table lamp off.
It took a minute for your eyes to get used to the darkness, but the light that came in from the window illuminated the room enough for you to distinguish all the shapes. The orange-tinted light of the street lamps contrasted with the navy blue shadows dancing around the bedroom, and you would’ve appreciated the festival of colors in your bedroom had you not been so tired.
“Any problems keeping you awake? Something you wanna talk about?”
Osamu’s voice sounded clearer now, right next to your ear. His low tone soothed you and you kept walking your fingers across his arm in silence.
“I don’t really have a particular problem in mind. Which is scary, in a way. At least if you have a problem keeping you up at night, then you can address that problem, right?”
“Right.”
“But if you don’t have any problems, then how can you deal with insomnia?”
“There must be a problem behind. You just don’t know it yet.”
“Right. Doesn’t solve anything.”
Osamu raised his head, resting his chin on his right hand, and his left one gently tapped your chin.
“Someone’s cranky.”
“Maybe because I haven’t slept in days,” you groaned.
Osamu sighed heavily.
“I’m sorry,” you immediately apologized.
“I just wanna help you,” he muttered, his fingers rubbing your chin. “Let’s do something. Let me talk to your ear and relax you.”
“You aren’t a man of many words,” you joked. “What are you gonna tell me, a salad recipe?”
Osamu buried his head in your neck and you felt his chuckle resonate against your skin. His breath tickled you and you laughed, your fingers sinking into his hair.
“Tomato,” he whispered to your ear, and sat up to lean over your opposite side. “Lettuce.” He added against your other ear.
You pulled his head against your chest and chuckled. His hands flew over your sides, tickling you gently. When he returned to your ear, he said:
“It’d be unfair if I sleep and you don’t.”
“Yeah… I just wanna rest,” you muttered.
Your eyelids started to feel heavy and you snuggled against Osamu’s warm and cozy body. His hands kept travelling around your body, leaving a trail of gentle tickles behind as he whispered sweet words to your ear.
“Osamu.”
“Hmmm?”
“Wanna bet you’ll be the first to get knocked out?”
Osamu frowned. He was taking this so seriously, and he had promised you’d be the one to sleep first.
“I will stay awake until you fall asleep.”
“Wanna bet you’ll fall asleep listening to yourself? You have such a relaxing voice,” you joked, teasing him with your smile.
He shifted the weight of his body, putting his arm under his head.
“I’m a strong and independent man who needs no bed.”
You chuckled, your fingers caressing his chin.
“Yeah… so what’s next? Being a strong and independent man who needs no food?”
“Huh.” He moved around the bed, hesitant. When he found a comfortable position, he said: “I’m afraid I can’t commit to that.”
“I know,” you whispered and laughed. “There’s no need for that.”
His hand found the curve under your chin and massaged you with his fingertips. The only thing left for you to do was to purr like a cat.
“Close your eyes?” He suggested.
Obeying, you shut your eyes, the orange and blue shadows vanishing from your world. The bubble was closing around you, only leaving the softness of your bed, the warmth of Osamu’s body and his velvety voice against your ear.
“Osamu…”
“Hmm?”
“I love you.”
Your words barely found a shape now through your lips, but you felt his smile against your cheek.
“I love you too.”
He kissed your face, following a circle across your cheek, your jaw, your forehead; the comforting sounds of his lips pressed against you delighted your ears and you searched for his hand in the darkness of a nearing slumber. When your fingers found his, you coiled them around his hand and gave him a soft squeeze, which he returned as he pressed a feathery kiss over your lips.
The last thing you felt was Osamu’s body curling up next to yours, his face finding a refuge against your neck, his calm breath kissing your skin, and you finally gave into a repairing sleep, dreaming of Osamu’s beautiful face.