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"hyung, have you ever had a new years kiss?"
soobin nearly gets whiplash from how fast he turns his head.
"excuse me?" there was no way kai actually said that. it's probably just his imagination (or at least he hopes it is) and the fact that he practically feels like death, especially after their back-to-back performances a little over half an hour ago.
kai blinks back innocently anyways, like he hasn't just asked if soobin's ever started his first seconds of the new year eating someone else's face off. "have you had a new years kiss before?" he repeats. it sounds like he's teasing him. soobin doesn't trust it.
could kai be trying to..?
not in a million years.
"and how is this your business?" soobin shoots back, crossing his arms.
kai throws his hands in the air in defense. "hey, am i not allowed to ask? you're the first person i ever met as a trainee, so i thought.."
oh god, now he's bringing up the trainee stories. soobin's mind automatically blanks, dread being the replacement of skepticism. this cannot be good, he thinks, watching the younger dramatically act out his words with hand gestures and expressions. and if he hopes enough, maybe it can be what he's been waiting for.
"—alright, alright. you can stop now," soobin sighs, because he's about fed up with how obvious kai is while trying to persuade him. might as well give him what he wants. purposefully ignoring kai's annoying smirk of triumph, he truthfully answers. "uh..no??"
the latter's face distorts in confusion. "what do you mean.. 'no'? you sure you aren't.. you know. lying or something?"
oh? "why would i be lying?"
"you're just so—" the moment kai realizes what he's saying, he immediately cuts off his sentence, awkwardly scratching his nape. soobin raises a brow.
"so what?" it couldn't be anything flattering, right? his mind begs to differ.
so cute?
so pretty?
so attractiv-
okay! let's stop there. let's please stop there, actually. one lesson soobin always stuck by was that delusion was never good, especially when you had a crush.
"what? oh. nothing. yep. it's whatever," kai retorts through a reddening face, avoiding eye contact. it doesn't strengthen soobin's will to stand by his statement. at all. "continue?"
"oh...kay??" soobin fights for his life to steer his thoughts away from the possibility of his feelings being returned. "i mean, it's not like i don't want one. i just don't get them," he shrugs. it wasn't completely a lie, but not completely the truth. could you really blame him, though? if anything, the last person the 'truth' needed to reach was the very person standing in front of him.
kai, who recovered from his embarrassment, nods, walking away while shouting a 'thanks, hyung!' as he leaves to the stylists ushering him over. maybe he's plotting something..?
whatever, soobin shrugs off his thoughts. what could he possibly pull within an hour?
but if kai really is trying to pull what he thinks- he's not going to hold his breath for it. another thing soobin learned, courtesy of the spiderman movie they both watched late at night, was;
'if you expect disappointment, you can never be disappointed.'
soobin blatantly ignores the fact that the two of them were practically on a date when he heard that line for the first time.
"did kai ask you if you ever had a new years kiss before?" beomgyu asks soobin back at the dorm, half an hour before the clock struck midnight. wow, the possibility of kai trying to pull something in the next thirty something minutes just raised by a good ninety-nine percent. no biggie.
"how did you..?" soobin trails off.
beomgyu blinks, expression emotionless. "because he asked me, too."
"if you had your new years kiss?"
the shorter gasps dramatically, offended. "he- quite literally, thank you- watched mine happen. so did you, so did taehyun. why would he ask about me?"
right. oops. now he remembers. it was last year, in the living room (and soobin honestly thanks god for the fact his back was turned towards them). beomgyu and yeonjun had hit it off.
alright. kai asking soobin himself about the vacancy of his new years virgin lips made sense, but beomgyu? he honestly doesn't know whether to jump up and down in joy from what he's expecting or to shit himself from it.
"who knows?" he interrupts soobin's thoughts, "maybe this could be your chance. the whole reason you haven't had yours yet is because you're saving it for hi—"
soobin slaps his hand over beomgyu's mouth before he can finish, glancing over to where kai was seated. luckily, he looked unbothered, laughing the same laugh soobin grew to adore as taehyun drew multiple cards from the uno deck, cursing under his breath. thank fucking god.
beomgyu's tongue pokes his palm. soobin yelps.
"that's a really gross habit you have," he scolds, smacking his arm with his free hand as the other one rids itself of salvia on his sweatpants. beomgyu just grins in satisfaction.
"wow, bin. hitting on my man?" comes yeonjun's voice from behind.
silence between the trio ensues, the only sound filling the dorm being the two youngest's arguing over which one of them called uno first and the dialogue of a random marvel movie on the tv.
"geez, tough crowd," he sulks, popping a piece of meat into his mouth. "also you should totally kiss him year, just saying."
beomgyu claps, pointing at his boyfriend in agreement. "that's what i'm saying!"
"okay! okay. i'm just gonna see how things go, alright?" dang, was it really that obvious that he liked kai? he swears that he hasn't even told yeonjun yet.
"soobin hyung!"
speaking of the devil, kai's voice calls him from the living room and god, he swears that everyday he's reminded of every reason why he fell in love with him in the first place. his eager grin when he notices he's caught soobin's attention, the excited bouncing of his leg, his sharp and defined features (of which could easily be considered intimidating) turned soft whenever they glance the leader's way—soobin could keep going on for hours.
and he means it.
he glances at the clock.
ten minutes. (geez, was their clock broken? there was no way time passed by that fast.)
kai pats his right thigh with a slight smile, an invitation to sit on his lap.
and who was soobin to decline?
"nice to see you've made up your mind," kai teases when soobin plops himself down.
soobin hits him on the side of his thigh in response (wow, he's really on a roll tonight, isn't he?). "hey, let's not be impatient. i just had to go to the bathroom."
yeah, he's a liar. so what? who wouldn't go gather up courage in the bathroom when you had a strong (and soobin means strong) feeling that your crush was about to kiss you in ten minutes?
well, two minutes now, considering from the amount of time soobin spent recounting the steps in his life that led him to.. this.
if kai caught on, he doesn't say anything about it. his arms find their way around soobin's waist, instead.
"you know, you're kind of like a golden retriever," soobin says after a beat of silence.
kai chuckles from behind him. "is it because i'm clingy?"
"mm, yeah. a bunch of other things, too. your hair color isn't really helping your case, either."
"sorry. i can't really help being clingy to you."
"ah."
wait, hold on, what?
soobin nearly gets whiplash again turning behind him.
"are you admitting to being the gum?" a smirk finds its way on soobin's face. the last minutes of 2021 and he finally ends up the victor of the notorious gum-debate. damn, 2022 is gonna be so good.
"nope," kai smiles as he watches soobin's smirk fade (and pops the 'p' for extra effect). "your crush on me isn't exactly secret, you know."
oh.
oh, fuck.
—wait.
soobin immediately shoots a glare at taehyun, to which he throws his hands up in the air in defense. dang, why's everyone throwing their hands up in the air in defense?
"uh- tyun didn't tell me," kai pulls soobin's accusing finger down, "no one did, actually. i just figured it out on my own."
well damn.
one minute left.
"am i that obvious?" dread pools in soobin's stomach when kai nods. all those years trying to hide his feelings absolutely wasted. he wonders if their fans could even sense it at this point.
"its okay, though. it's cute," he ruffles soobin's hair, pecking him on his cheek. "i love you too."
soobin malfunctions. short circuits. blows up. screams.
"..too?" he echoes, turning around in kai's lap to fully face him, straddling.
so it's happening, isn't it? it's finally happening. holy shit. soobin can practically hear taehyun's "god, i hate couples", yeonjun's "he grew up so fast!" (tearfully), and beomgyu's "fucking finally" as clear as day from all around them, but he didn't care. his endless memories of him pining over kai are finally going to get their happy ending.
kai laughs, slowly closing their distance. "you're so adorable."
5..
4..
3..
2..!
"i love you."
all of soobin's thoughts leave his brain as kai kisses him.