Chapter Text
Zayn
I sighed and picked up my bags glancing one last time at the hotel behind me. I wasn't sure where to go now. My whole life had been planned out but now, I don't know anything. Perrie has basically persuaded me to quit. She was tired of all the rumours and the publicity. I was too. There were lots of bitches, who called themselves 'fans' who spread rumors about me cheating or me being a bad person, anything really. There were also others, I'm not sure if they were fans or not, but they destroyed me. They constantly stalked me, invaded my privacy and got too personal. Perrie was tired of them and so I quit. I honestly don't know how to survive anymore but I have to try. Try for Perrie. There's nobody else to try for anyway.I turned and headed away.
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I sat down on the couch and leaned back closing my eyes. Perrie wouldn't be back for another hour and I had some time to myself. A month had passed since I quit and I hadn't been doing so well. I had started self harming about six hours after I retired and I was addicted to it now. I hadn't tweeted, done any interviews, or been seen in public since I quit. I had gotten a new phone and a new number and cut all ties to my previous life.
I got up and walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I pulled out a razor and rolled up my sleeves. Slowly I pulled the blade across my skin relishing in the sharp pain and the red blood. I drew the blade over my arm several more times making the symbols 1D once and vertical lines the other times. I switched arms and made a horizontal cut on my right arm. This was the counting arm. I cut in line for each day I had been without the boys.
,"Zayn" Perrie called startling me. I quickly put the razor down an walked into the kitchen, greeting her with a kiss. At the same time though, I let a sad smile cross my face.