Chapter Text
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3... 2... 1... HAPPY NEW YEAR!
The ball drops. Tons of colorful confetti drop from the starless night sky, scattering across the bright and desolate streets of New York City. Less than a hundred spectators celebrate in an eerily quiet Times Square. It's surreal. It's bittersweet. The people watching the virtual event from the safety of their home clap, smile, kiss, and hug despite everything they've gone through. There's no guarantee 2021 will be any better. Even so, what's most important is being here to witness this moment. It's time to turn over the next page on the calendar.
Goodbye and good riddance, 2020. No one will miss you.
"Sunao ni I LOVE YOU! Todokeyou kitto YOU LOVE ME!" America goes hard singing 24-Hour Cinderella despite his poor Japanese and lack of talent for singing while intoxicated.
New Jersey, Tony, and everyone else watching their karaoke on the Zoom call clap along to the rhythm. "Woo! You got this!"
"Guys..." New York grumbles, poking his disheveled head out of the guest room, "can you tone it down? I gotta get up early to make vaccines—"
"Come on, Yorkie!" New Jersey wraps an arm around the cranky Yankee with a drunken smile and a beer bottle in his left hand. "Why you actin' like a grumpy geezer? It's New Year's Day. You should be partying with us. Woo!" He downs some beer.
He scowls. "Are you deaf from the fireworks? I fucking told you I need to make vaccines because the nation is behind—"
"Let's sing a song!" New Jersey drags him to the living room, grabbing a microphone. "I wanna hear you fuck the microphone!"
"You're not making any sense."
"Come on, dude." America hands him his microphone. "Stay up another hour. Have some fun."
Despite better judgment, he gives him to peer pressure. "Fine," he sighs. "What song should we sing?"
"WAP!" New Jersey giggles.
"No."
"WAP!"
"No. I'm not singing that. Pick a different song."
"Wet-ass pussy!"
"I just said I'm not fucking singing that!"
"Wet-ass pussy! Wet-ass pussy! Wet-ass pussy! I want wet-ass pussy!"
"I'm going to 'WAP' your noggin if you say wet-ass pussy one more time."
"... Wet-ass pussy."
Watching the fight ensue, America laughs, "Looks like 2021 is starting off great!"
☆☆☆☆☆
January 6, 2021—Washington, D.C.
The U.S. Capitol could finally return to a sense of composure and normalcy after six long hours of chaos. Unfortunately, what happened today couldn't be ignored or swept away like shards of glass into a forgotten corner; it was all over the news across the United States and the rest of the world. Embarrassment, sadness, anger, and hopelessness—there was a rise in negativity as American morality diminished to low levels. Deniers and apologists were allowed to make shallow excuses and dig a deeper grave for themselves. There would be no sympathy toward anyone involved in this attack on U.S. democracy. The lies, the falsehoods, the conspiracies, and the threats that led to the storming of the Capitol would no longer be tolerated. Despite the ugliness of it all, there would only be a brief pause of reflection before the resumption of the electoral college vote as if it was a regular Wednesday evening. Rioters, insurrectionists, extremists, traitors, or whatever these dumbasses were called, Washington D.C. refused to let them disrupt the democratic process.
"Looks like 2021 is starting off great..." D.C. sarcastically grumbled to herself as she dropped a 'Stop the Steal' protest sign onto a pile of three dozen others conveying the same fake narrative. As much as she wanted to toss them into a massive bonfire, she convinced herself to preserve them for the Smithsonian to collect. They would serve as a lesson to future generations about the importance of a peaceful transition of power in a democracy.
"D.C. May I have a word with you?"
The sight of Virginia in a service uniform brought contempt to the capital. "You took your time coming here to clean up."
She calmly retorted, "Excuse me. After the protests in June, the Department of Defense didn't want to become too involved as a political tool."
She scoffed, "I'm sorry. Was this too political for them to get involved?" She referred to the broken windows, the damaged artwork, and the words written in blood on the walls. "If so, thank you for pointing out this double standard."
Virginia scowled. "I warned you constantly in the days leading to today's event about their disorderly plans, but you kept telling me the National Guard wasn't necessary, claiming the Capitol Police were capable of handling it."
"Even so, that doesn't excuse the National Guard's slow response."
"The same can be said for the Capitol Police."
"Stop it!" Maryland interrupted, approaching them disappointingly. "This isn't the time to point fingers."
D.C. struggled not to clap back with a cynical response because she knew deep down she was right. This stupid argument she created with Virginia mainly served as a medium to let out her contempt for everything she went through. For sure, she was incredibly disappointed in the National Guard for not arriving sooner at her request. However, it was difficult for her to admit she made mistakes, especially an error in judgment. Her outburst masked the shame, attempting to maintain her strength and credibility. But truly, some of the blame fell on her and the Capitol Police. The attack on the U.S. Capitol was easily preventable. Had there been better communication and security, she wouldn't have to pick up trash off the floor.
"I'm really pathetic," D.C. lamented, observing the wreckage around her. "I spend billions of U.S. dollars on the military, yet all it'll take to infiltrate the chambers of democracy is a misled mob of morons stoked by lies and conspiracy theories." She shook her head in exasperation, letting out a disillusioned laugh. "I'm done. I'm absolutely done with him."
"By him, you don't mean...?" Maryland frowned.
"Who else do you think I mean? Whose name do you see printed on these banners and protest signs?" she sneered. "I've worked with 44 out of the 45 presidents that have been elected to lead this country, the exception being Washington who finished his presidency before my creation. I've worked with the likes of Jefferson, Lincoln, and the Roosevelts as well as the likes of Pierce, Buchanan, and Harding. Even compared to Andrew Johnson's incompetency, I've never worked with someone as unsavory, obstructive, inept, egocentric, and asinine as that toxic orange dumpster fire in the White House!"
"D.C. You need to—" Virginia halted her fellow state from disrupting the capital's fiery rant.
"March to Save America, my ass." She paced back and forth, shaking her head furiously. "If he intended to save America, he should've done a better job responding to the pandemic. The nation is suffering the worst catastrophe since the Great Depression. Millions of Americans are jobless. Millions of Americans are being threatened by homelessness. Millions of Americans are suffering from the virus. Had he not been so focused on giving pointless speeches to die-hard followers, we wouldn't be here. Instead, Dumbo was mindless to encourage maskless gatherings, get himself infected, and botch Operation Warp Speed. Yet, he still has the audacity to pat himself on the back for its success—tell that to the Americans who haven't gotten vaccinated because the vaccines have been compromised from negligence!
It's honestly bewildering over 70 million Oompa Loompas have cast their votes for that pompous pissant. Any contender for the presidency would've been grateful to have that much support despite the loss. Never before in the history of U.S. elections has there been such a high turnout at the polls. It's truly a victory for U.S. democracy. But of course, being the breaker of tradition and human decency, the lousy loser had to make a huge fuss like a giant crybaby, refusing to accept reality despite the enormous amount of evidence proving the validity of the 2020 U.S. election. I completely anticipated him to react like an orangutan on steroids taking his fury out on staff and social media. I thought his denial wasn't going to get in the way of the democratic process. But once again, I was wrong like my predictions in 2016.
Adolf Twitter couldn't stay still as a lame-duck president. Hair Hitler had to rile up his army of pissy bozos to commit a list of crimes while he sat comfortably on his ass in the security of the White House. An ordinary person grasping the seriousness of the situation would know when to step back and give up. Of course, The Donald was no ordinary person. That man simply had one task to accomplish—condemn the rioters. It was that simple to do. One fucking task! The dipshit couldn't even do that right!"
D.C caught her breath, still not finished with her complaints. "If you think I have it hard putting up with the messes the screaming carrot demon has produced," she turned to Maryland and Virginia, "I can't imagine how America is feeling after watching everything unfold while he's sick in bed. Our allies are mortified. Our enemies are laughing at our expense. I can't even go to my favorite bar to drink the stress, the spite, and the sorrows away because of the lockdown. Like, how have I become so pathetic to let the Confederate flag be waved around the Capitol after the end of the Civil War!" She stopped pacing around. "It's utterly frustrating how much damage a boiled ham in a wig can cause just by lying through sheer stubbornness. Even baffling are the people who believe in the angry creamsicle despite his misgivings doing more harm than good for them... Do you know what's the worst part of all of this?"
"The fact the rioters are U.S. citizens..." Maryland quietly mumbled.
"Not even close." She shook her head. "The worst part is the fact all of this is just the very tip of the iceberg. I can write a detailed list of grievances against the dehydrated orange peel, and it'll be long enough to circle the Earth at least twice. I've put up with his dumbassery corrupting every aspect of government he can get his baby fingers on for four years. Not a single occasion has he proven to earn any amount of respect from me and the people that have been skeptical of his presidency since his first day in the Oval Office. If anything, Prima Donald has proven how much he cares for his social media accounts than a country in crisis," she huffed, taking off her White House badge. "Until the inauguration of the next president, I'm resigning my assistance to the current president. He won't care for my absence just as much as I don't care for him." Just as she was about to head to her office, she turned to Virginia and said her name.
"Yes, D.C."
"The inauguration of the 46th U.S. president will happen in two weeks."
Virginia understood the underlying tone of her statement, nodding in agreement. "I'll make sure the transition goes smoothly and peacefully."
~ .......... ~
January 20, 2021—Wilmington, Delaware
The conditions surrounding the inauguration of Joe Biden were strangely special. Attendance was limited due to the COVID-19 pandemic; there were no vast crowds like previous inaugurations. The people in attendance were required to wear masks and keep a distance away whenever possible. To add to the grim reality, there were soldiers and police everywhere. Their increased presence was a reminder of the events that occurred two weeks ago. They were determined not to let chaos rule the day. Even with that in mind, many Americans had become wary of where this country was heading in the condition it was currently in. Cynically, it seemed impossible to heal a divided nation.
But with the horse leaving the hospital and a new administration coming to the White House, there seemed to be calm in the storm—a chance to breathe and hope for happiness. The incoming leader of the nation was a sight for sore eyes. A little over ten years ago, he was the U.S. vice president helping the nation get through the Great Recession as well as a swine flu pandemic. He might be the person to unite the divisions in politics and get the country back on its feet. It wouldn't be easy. It would require a lot of effort and the trust of the people—some might not be inclined to do him any favors. His path to success was a steep mountain to climb and overcome. Even so, he and his team were determined, prepared to work quickly and efficiently for the sake of a more perfect Union.
"How are you feeling?" Pennsylvania asked Delaware, joining him on the couch at his home to watch live coverage of the inauguration.
There was a feeling in his chest that was hard to comprehend, having rarely felt this emotion. It continued to swell, but it didn't hurt. The warmth he was trying to describe was pride. "Good," he answered with a small smile.
She smirked. "You know, he was born in my home."
"Don't ruin this for me." His annoyed remark got a chuckle out of her.
"I'm kidding. You deserve the recognition."
His eyes returned to the TV as the ceremony was about to begin. "... Can I ask you something?"
"Sure, what is it?"
"What do you think of me?"
There was no hesitation in her answer. "If I have to be honest, the things that come to mind are how small and boring you are."
"I'm not at all surprised to hear you say that..." he grumbled.
"If so, why ask for my opinion?"
"Well," his eyes shifted away as he blushed, "some might describe me as a place of hope, light, and limitless possibilities." He scowled at a giggle escaping her lips. "You think it's silly."
"Not at all." She shook her head, trying not to let her smile dissuade him. "It's nice to see and hear people describe you so highly. You must be proud."
"I am." He watched Biden place his hand on the Bible, proceeding to take the oath of office. "As the proud guardian of one of my proud own, I'm proud to see him represent me on that stage. I wish Joe well."
"Hell yeah!" California cheered on the Zoom call, particularly excited for making lots of firsts in U.S. history by sending one of her to become vice president. "We're totally going to kick this pandemic in the ass! I swear this volume is going to be hella awesome!"
Everyone on the Zoom call agreed. "Yeah! You said it!"
"Bernie is a meme again!" Vermont donned a pair of handmade cozy mittens as he waved.
~ Hetalia! ~
Hey, hey, pappa, give me some milk!
Hey, hey, mamma, hey, hey, mamma!
I cannot forget the taste of that
Freshly-baked peach pie I ate before!
Draw a circle, that's the Earth!
Draw a circle, that's the Earth!
Draw a circle, that's the Earth!
My name's Delaware!
Draw a circle, that's the Earth!
Looking closely, that's the Earth!
Or maybe, that's the Earth?
I am the First state!
Ah, with just a brushstroke,
A wonderful world can be seen!
The Blue Hens think I'm number one!
Go, Delaware!
☆☆☆☆☆