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The bar was moderately full, but not crowded. Ria liked the balance: there were enough people to keep her from feeling conspicuous, but not so many that the room was too loud for normal conversation. It wasn't a place she went often, either, so it wasn't likely that anyone she knew, other than Loker, would be there. No one to come up and ask about her day, or why she looked so stressed. With the possible exception of a man trying to get laid, naturally, but she hoped Loker's presence would prevent that.
Her coworker's return to the table was heralded by a beer bottle appearing in front of her face. "One for you." She took it from him and he sat down across from her. "One for me," he finished, lifting his own bottle in a salute.
"Thanks." She held out the bottle to clink it against his before taking a long pull.
He did the same. "So," he said, giving her an ironic look, "when you took this job, did you think it would lead to you watching a man take his own life?"
The bluntness of the question would have surprised her from almost anyone else. Since it was Loker, she just snorted softly. "No." Shrugging a little, she added, "I mean, I guess you hear 'work with the FBI' and you know there might be some bad stuff involved. I just figured it would be at a remove. Which it usually is -- usually we're doing investigations after the fact -- but... no, I guess I didn't realize we'd come face to face with it like this." She looked away, taking another sip of her drink.
"Yeah." After a moment he asked, quietly, "You doing okay?"
She nodded slowly. "Yeah." She picked at the label on her beer. "I've seen violence," she told him, glancing up. "A lot of it. I'm not numb to it or anything, but I guess I'm used to processing it." For a moment she just looked at him, really looked at him. He was blocking a lot of it, she thought; trying not to process it. Which was a way to deal, in and of itself. "How about you?"
His eyebrows arched questioningly. "As in, how am I doing, or as in, did I expect it?"
She lifted a shoulder in a shrug, taking another sip. "Both."
"As to the former..." He raised his bottle, smiling sardonically. "That's what this is for, isn't it? As to the latter, no. Not at all. This job was -- and is -- mostly a sort of puzzle. A great big human puzzle. Behavior, thought patterns... the world under a psychological microscope."
"One big science experiment, huh?"
"Yeah." He shook his head, sipping from his bottle. "Except that it's not like the ones you do in school. I mean, yeah, in the lab we control things so there's a finite number of variables. But when we're on a case? We see people in their environment, and they lie, they cheat, they ruin their lives, ruin other people's lives... and sometimes they end one or both." His mouth twisted and he looked away. After a moment he shook his head again, adding, "Don't get me wrong, I usually love that part of the job. And maybe I didn't think about it at first, but I would have taken the job even if I had."
Ria leaned forward slightly, setting her beer on the table. "How did you come to work for the Lightman Group?"
He snorted softly. "I wasn't accosted at a former job, like you were, if that's what you're wondering." He looked away. "I was a student, getting my Master's, and I took a seminar that Foster was teaching. I thought it was fascinating. I must have impressed her a little, because she invited me to apply for a graduate internship. I got it, worked there over the summer, and then when I graduated they hired me full time." He shrugged. "Nothing exciting, except for how it defines my life."
"Where do you think you'd be if you hadn't started working here?"
"I don't know." He twirled the bottle in his fingers, considering the question. "Probably doing straight research. I wouldn't have had the stomach to work directly for a government agency, like Lightman and Foster both did. I'd probably be at a university, or maybe a private company. Something in a lab, with more of that control I mentioned." He shrugged. "How about you?"
A wry smile tugged at her lips. "I'd still be where I was a year ago. Maybe making more money, if I'd gotten a raise or a promotion."
Loker leaned forward, frowning a little. "Did you like the TSA gig?"
"It wasn't bad." She shrugged. "This is way more interesting, though, to say the least. Even on a day like today, I wouldn't trade it."
"Yeah, me either." He looked away at the reminder of the day's events. She saw a lot of things flash across his face. After a moment he drew in a breath, let it out, and said, "So, you want to go back to one of our places and get drunk and/or have sex?"
She coughed. "Wow." Raising her eyebrows at him, she said, "I thought you'd given up on the radical honesty thing."
He shrugged. "Sometimes it's the best way to get a point across." Despite his apparent nonchalance, his fingers tapped the table nervously.
She glanced around. The bar was starting to fill up, putting more people around them than she was really comfortable with. Slowly, she nodded. "Yes to the going, and yes to the drinking." She met his eyes. "We'll see about anything else."
He relaxed, grinning back at her as they both stood. "It's a great stress reliever. Day like today, I know I could use it."
The fact was, she could too, but she wasn't about to let him know it. She brushed past him, patting his chest. "Don't push it."
"Wouldn't dream of it." He followed her closely as they left, though, and if his hand lingered on her back longer than it strictly needed to, she didn't comment.
