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It was just a crush, it didn’t have to mean anything.
Shokichi didn’t mean to catch feelings.
It was just an accident.
After all, high school crushes were supposed to be on girls, right? He had been told he would grow out of feeling like this towards other boys. So why…why did his kohai have to be so cute? Why did his heart beat a little faster when he saw him?
The bell rang and he hopped up from his desk, throwing his stuff into his bag haphazardly before dashing out of the classroom, ignoring the teacher’s protests. Today was the day. He was gonna tell him how he felt. It was the perfect time for it, skating home together right before the holiday--because if it went poorly, then they would at least have a while to themselves before seeing each other again. After all, he didn’t even know if the other liked boys.
“Ah, Kikuchi!” he grinned, frantically pushing down the butterflies in his stomach as the younger boy walked up to him, backpack slung over his shoulders. “Ready to go?” The black-haired boy nodded, and they both hopped on their skateboards, heading down the path. It had been something like a miracle when he saw that another student at his high school liked skating, he always felt isolated because of his hobby. It was considered to be a delinquent sport, after all. Even though he’d never actually seen any of the so-called delinquents when he was skating.
Kikuchi was an amazing skater. Shokichi couldn’t help but notice it every time they skated together. Maybe that was part of the attraction? Kikuchi moved with such elegance and grace, almost as if he was dancing on the board. He'd never seen anyone quite like him. And he knew that he himself wasn’t that good, he was average at best, but it was fun. Nothing could take the fun away from it. And it was so much better to skate with a partner than alone. Especially when that partner was his cute little kohai.
They reached the bend in the path where they usually parted ways, but today…Shokichi adjusted the strap across his chest and kept going, ignoring Kikuchi’s look of surprise. He didn’t want to do this on the sidewalk. He wanted to…he swallowed, as the mansion came into view. He’d only been over here a couple times, once when Kikuchi was sick to deliver his homework--apparently he trusted his senpai more than his classmates to actually follow through, and once when it had started unexpectedly raining in the middle of their skate home. Kikuchi’s house was closer, so he had invited Shokichi in to wait out the storm. Both instances had his heart racing, even though neither time seemed particularly appropriate. Now though…
Skidding to a stop, Shokichi kicked up his board into his hand. They were right outside the gates, Kikuchi hesitating awkwardly next to them. “Is there…something wrong, Oka senpai?” Gods, he was nervous. Did he look nervous? He must, since Kikuchi was looking at him like that.
“No-no, nothing’s wrong.” He laughed, rubbing at the back of his neck. “I just…” he trailed off, kicking at the ground. He finally understood why girls got so nervous when they confessed. Was this a real confession? Girls were braver than he realized. “I like you, okay?” he blurted out, looking back up at Kikuchi. “Like, as-in, I wouldn’t mind taking you out. On a date. If you wanted.”
Kikuchi blushed bright red, taking a step backwards. Oh. Oh no. He’d misjudged everything. He’d ruined this. Thank the gods for the holiday. Maybe they could go back to normal then, forget this ever happened. “Oka senpai…I-I’m flattered, I just…”
“You don’t like boys?” Shokichi guessed, grip tightening on his board. This was a total disaster. He’d never felt more embarrassed in his life. “That’s okay I totally get it. It’s fin--”
“I-it’s not that!” the other boy stuttered, stepping off his board and pushing it gently back and forth with his foot. “It’s just…I like someone else. And he…” Kikuchi admitted, glancing towards the house before freezing in shock.
Shokichi followed his gaze, before taking a step backwards. They weren’t alone, like he had thought. There was an even younger boy standing on the path, watching them with his hands in his pockets. From the look of his uniform, Shokichi guessed he was still in middle school, maybe a year or two younger than Kikuchi. He glanced at Kikuchi, who was bright red and staring firmly at the ground. That must be… his ‘someone else.’
The younger boy huffed and stalked up to the gate, pushing it open and grabbing a hold of Kikuchi’s arm, pulling him inside the grounds. “C’mon Tadashi. We don’t have all day. You were going to teach me that new trick, right?” The middle schooler tossed a look over his shoulder, eyes narrowed at Shokichi. His grasp on Kikuchi’s arm tightened, and he smirked before turning his back on him entirely.
The wrought-iron gates clanged shut behind them, separating Shokichi from their world. He let his board fall to the ground and hopped onto it, skating away from the mansion in a daze.
It was just a crush, it didn’t really mean anything.
Kikuchi didn’t mean to break his heart.
It was just an accident.