Work Text:
Caitlyn walked into the bar with a distinct note of caution, scoping out the area. The Last Drop wasn’t the worst bar she’d ever been in, but it was still in Zaun, and there was no such thing as being too careful, especially not for an off-duty enforcer.
In all honesty, she didn’t even know who she was supposed to be looking for. All Caitlyn knew was that a ‘Vi’ had responded to the ad she put in the paper. So here Caitlyn was, at a bar of Vi’s choosing, hoping that it wouldn’t backfire on her terribly.
She knew that she was looking for a woman. That had been one of her requirements. But most of Caitlyn’s requests had been suggestions and not requirements since she was hardly going to find someone who fit all of them.
“Hey,” someone called. “Topsider. Over here.”
Turning to find the voice, Caitlyn saw a pink-haired woman waving from the corner table furthest from the bartender. “Vi?” she asked.
The woman leaned forward, elbows planted on the table. “Depends who’s asking. Caitlyn?”
Nodding, Caitlyn walked over. “How did you-”
“It’s not that hard to pick a topsider out of the Zaunites down here.” The woman grinned, a teasing edge to her voice.
Caitlyn blew a strand of hair out of her face. She’d let it down for her trip to the undercity, trying to blend in, but that had clearly failed. “I suppose.”
Vi – it had to be, especially with the ‘VI’ tattoo on her left cheek – crossed her arms. “So, want to give me a few more details about this job?” she said.
“It’s not-” Caitlyn paused. “Well, I suppose it is a job. I need you to pretend to be my girlfriend for one night. I’m willing to pay-”
Holding up a hand, Vi said, “Slow down a bit. I know all of that already. It was in the advertisement. Being a Zaunite doesn’t mean I’m illiterate.”
Caitlyn flushed.
“What I want to know isn’t what, it’s why you need a fake girlfriend.”
With a grimace, Caitlyn said, “That’s… a bit complicated. But to begin with, my family is quite rich.”
“Never woulda guessed from the fact that you’re willing to pay someone to be your fake date. Did you tell your parents you had a girlfriend when they tried to set you up with a rich heir or some shit?” asked Vi.
She shook her head. “It’ll be a surprise to them, actually. I’m trying to support my brother.”
“Oh?” Vi cocked her head.
“Adopted brother, really, which is part of the problem. My parents adopted him after he was orphaned in a blizzard as a boy, but—” Caitlyn huffed sharply “—they’ve never really seen him as their real child. Not like me. They only adopted him because it made them look benevolent and charitable. My father almost disowned him six years ago, but, well, it’s a bit of a long story.” It would come up, given that Jayce’s face was plastered across mugs and airships, but that was a problem for future-Caitlyn. “Anyway, he started dating a rich noble named Mel, and they were pleased with him.”
“Let me guess,” Vi said dryly, “it turned out your brother liked other men. And your parents didn’t take it well. Did I miss anything?”
Caitlyn winced. “That’s most of it. Except for the part where his new boyfriend grew up in Zaun, who neither of my parents approve of. And also the part where he’s still dating Mel, and all three of them are happy with it.”
One of Vi’s eyebrows raised. “Wow. There’s, like, no way that the situation could’ve been any worse.”
Sighing, Caitlyn nodded. “If I show up with a girlfriend, I’m hoping that they’ll be more focused on me and leave him and his partners alone. Especially if, well…” Caitlyn trailed off.
“If the girlfriend is a Zaunite,” Vi supplied. “Tattoed, ideally, and hopefully with a sordid, inappropriate past. The less traditionally feminine, the better. A non-traditional family structure that makes any questions about her family very awkward. Attention-grabbing. And physically attracti-”
“I wrote the list; you don’t have to repeat it to me,” Caitlyn muttered, trying not to let her embarrassment show. “It was a long shot to find someone who fits all of those. One or two is fine.”
Vi grinned cockily. “Luckily for you, I fit all of those.”
Caitlyn stared.
“Zaunite, obviously.” Pointing to her cheek, she said, “Notice this nice tattoo?”
“Yes, I did notice that.”
Vi shrugged. “Topsiders can be oblivious sometimes.”
“What about your past?” Caitlyn demanded.
“Got out of Stillwater half a year ago after being in there for six years,” Vi said, holding a finger up. Counting off on her fingers, she added, “I was a great thief as a kid, one time, I blew up a building, and there were also all those times I beat people up in prison.”
Caitlyn didn’t even bother asking about Vi’s appearance. It was plain enough to see, anyway, with that short shock of bright pink hair and the red jacket. Caitlyn loved it.
Because her parents would hate it, of course.
“I got adopted as a kid,” Vi continued. “Oh, the man who adopted me was a Zaunite rebel, from before Zaun was independent. Three siblings, one of which I’m currently in a custody battle over with my pseudo-father-slash-uncle-figure who I despise but she loves deeply.” A small smile worked its way onto Vi’s face and she said, “That’s why I need the cash, actually. She just blew the rest of it on explosives, and I’m trying to prove that I’m a good guardian, which involves things like buying food.”
Caitlyn laughed.
Vi immediately tensed. “What?”
“Sorry,” Caitlyn apologized. “It’s only that you said she blew all your money on explosives.”
Leaning back in her chair, some of the strain bled from Vi’s shoulders. “Oh. Yeah, you’re right. Anyway, how am I doing?”
“Wow,” Caitlyn said. “You’re perfect.”
They stared at each other for a moment.
“For the ad!” Caitlyn yelped.
This time, it was Vi’s turn to laugh. “I check all the boxes, huh?”
She nodded.
Vi raised an eyebrow. “Even the attractive part?”
Caitlyn would have loved to say that she didn’t squeak. Despite her most fervent wishes, though, she had definitely squeaked.
Smiling, Vi said, “Alright, I’m in. Tomorrow night?”
If she spoke, Caitlyn thought she might end up having to run away before dying of embarrassment. She nodded.
“I’ll be there. But I’m pretty sure if I try to get to your house topside, I’ll get arrested, so you’ll need to pick me up.”
Caitlyn nodded again.
“Hey, before we go our separate ways, answer me one more question,” Vi said.
“What is it?” She’d regained her composure enough to ask that, at least.
Vi’s eyes narrowed. “Are you actually interested in girls?”
“Yes.” It was out of her mouth before she could stop it, and Caitlyn tensed.
Shrugging, Vi asked, “So I can kiss you in front of your parents and that’ll be fine?”
She couldn’t restrain the heat that flooded her cheeks at the thought of actually kissing Vi. “Uh- I mean-”
“I’ll take that as a yes,” remarked Vi, smirking.
Caitlyn managed to say, “Yup. Uhuh.”
“See you tomorrow, then, cupcake.”
Caitlyn had the time to ask, “Cupcake?” before Vi was pushing her chair back and heading out of the bar with a wave of her hand.
Well. Caitlyn had gotten herself a girlfriend for the next day.
“You sure this is your house?” Vi stared up at the towering mansion before them. Behind them, the driver of the carriage bowed, then departed.
Caitlyn winced. “Yes.”
“Wow. I knew you were rich, but not that rich.”
“Yes. Um.” Caitlyn shifted back and forth on her feet. “There are things I ought to have told you yesterday, but you definitely need to know, now.”
Vi gave her an appraising look. “Unless you’re about to tell me that dinner tonight is going to be human heads, I’m already committed. Told my sister, got dressed in my worst clothes, the whole thing.”
Caitlyn blew out a breath. “My last name is Kiramman.”
“Is that supposed to mean-” It clicked. “Oh. Oh.” As in the Kirammans, one of the ruling Houses of Piltover, with a seat on the Council. As in the Kirammans, whose adopted son was famous throughout Runeterra. “So your brother is -”
“Jayce Kiramman, yes.”
“And he’s dating-”
“Councilor Medarda. And also his lab partner, Viktor, though not many people know about Viktor.”
Vi certainly didn’t recognize that name, but she definitely knew who Councilor Medarda was. And also Jayce Kiramman. Everyone knew who Jayce Kiramman was.
Vander knew that Vi was on a fake date with a rich girl. Vander did not know that Vi was going on a fake date with Caitlyn Kiramman to a dinner where three out of eight of Piltover’s Councilors would be attending, or he would have physically barred Vi from going.
That said, the physical barring probably would have been necessary. She was invested in this, alright?
Vi rolled up her sleeves. Her favorite red jacket, beat-up and with a few – fake – bloodstains, just as Caitlyn had requested. The rest of her outfit was no less casual and no less characteristically Zaunite. “Alright, cupcake, time to give your parents a show.”
“You still haven’t explained that nickname to me,” Caitlyn muttered.
Vi held out her arm, and Caitlyn took it by the elbow. Well. She’d only been expecting to hold hands, but if Caitlyn felt like being forward, Vi was getting paid enough for interlocked elbows. And Caitlyn was certainly good-looking enough for it.
Not that their relationship went beyond a professional, business relationship. Vi had to keep it cool.
As they walked through the gate, beginning to scale the stairs to the Kiramman mansion, in a low tone of voice, Vi said, “If we’ve supposedly been dating for six months, at least one of us needs a nickname for the other to help sell it.” Not that romance required nicknames, but they certainly helped to promote the image of it. “And if anyone asks, it’s because you’re as sweet as a cupcake.”
Caitlyn flushed dark red, the color standing out starkly against her navy suit. It was accentuated with white, helping to complete the elegant appearance, but it didn’t hide the red any better. “That’s-”
“Showtime, Caitlyn,” Vi murmured. “I see someone at the top of the steps.”
It was another servant, who bowed and waved them into the mansion, but from that moment on, there were eyes and ears all around them. They would have to play their parts to perfection.
And Vi knew exactly how to play hers.
As they entered the dining hall through a passageway from the entrance hall – too many halls, only Pilties would decide they needed a room for every occasion – Vi made sure to stretch in the perfect way to show off her low-cut shirt, not quite revealing enough to be inflammatory, but certainly not modest either.
It also showed off the rest of her tattoos quite nicely, baring parts of her back and shoulders that were covered in ink.
Caitlyn kept her eyes trained straight ahead, carefully not looking at Vi. Which was interesting, but probably also not what they needed in order to properly sell the idea that they were in love with each other.
Everyone else was in the dining hall already. Vi and Caitlyn had been slowed by the fact that an enforcer stopped them on their way into Piltover, but a quiet word from Caitlyn, and they’d been free again.
In retrospect, maybe Vi should have noticed that Caitlyn wasn’t just a rich heiress.
Their late arrival, though, meant that an older man who must have been Caitlyn’s father stiffened as they entered. Caitlyn’s mother, on the other hand, watched Vi intensely.
“Hello, Jayce,” Caitlyn said. She nodded to Jayce, who Vi could identify from the many, many pieces of merchandise she’d seen before with the Man of Progress’s face on them. “Mel, Viktor.”
Jayce smiled at Caitlyn, Mel nodded back, and Viktor didn’t respond, but he was also looking more than slightly ashen-faced.
Vi was curious about Viktor. Caitlyn had said he was a Zaunite, and yet, he’d somehow ended up in bed with Jayce Kiramman.
Then, again, Vi was supposed to be in bed with Caitlyn Kiramman, so she could probably take some tips from Viktor.
Caitlyn’s father – Tobias, if Vi remembered right – stood. He didn’t slam her hands on the table, a far too prim and proper Pilty for that, but Tobias did cast Vi an ice-cold glare. “Caitlyn. Who is this?”
“I told you, Father, I was bringing a date.”
“When you said a date, I didn’t think you meant…” Tobias visibly struggled for a word to describe Vi.
“Trencher trash?” Vi offered helpfully. “A gold digger? Ex-convict-”
“I will not stand for-”
“Tobias,” Cassandra said, speaking up for the first time. Caitlyn’s mother, in comparison to her husband, seemed far calmer. Vi was far warier of her. “Let’s try to have a nice dinner.” He turned to face Vi, watching her with appraising eyes. “May I know your name?”
Vi let Caitlyn guide her to a seat. The right side of the table was unoccupied, with Jayce and his partners on the left, while Cassandra and Tobias sat at the head. Luckily for all parties involved, Caitlyn inserted herself between her parents and Vi.
“She’s Vi,” Caitlyn said. They’d agreed that Caitlyn would introduce her, in order to cement the idea that they knew each other well enough for such a thing.
“I am Cassandra, and my husband is Tobias.”
Vi yawned purposefully. “Knew that already. You act like Caitlyn hasn’t been dating me for months.”
“Months?”
“It’s lovely to meet you, Vi.” That was Mel, interrupting with a smile. Councilor Medarda. One of Caitlyn’s brother’s partners, and she at least seemed sincere about it.
Lazily, Vi tilted her head. “Sure. Anyway, are we gonna eat? Cupcake promised a nice dinner. Though I guess she meant the food and not the company.”
Caitlyn’s hand, still on Vi’s arm, tensed, and her face tightened, but Vi was pretty sure that Caitlyn was trying not to laugh.
Viktor clearly had no such compunctions, chuckling in a low wheeze.
Cassandra smiled brittly. “Yes, well, let us bring the food out.” She clapped, and a parade of servants appeared, bearing covered platters and appetizers of all kinds.
Topsider luxury at its finest. One of those dishes would have fed a whole Zaunite family for a day, let alone the dozens that were being placed upon the table, and Vi knew that most of it would be wasted.
Pilties.
No one else had begun eating, despite the steaming platters of food, so Vi figured there was some sort of custom Caitlyn hadn’t informed her of. That was fine, given that Vi planned to bulldoze through any sort of common Piltover courtesy and ritual.
She picked up what looked vaguely like a roasted chicken leg – though it was probably some fancier bird than that – and tore into it. “Mm,” Vi said. “Not bad.” She cleaned the meat off the bone, then licked her fingers. “Jericho’s is better, though.”
Tobias looked horrified. The night was off to a great start.
With sudden interest, Viktor leaned in and said, “Is Jericho’s fish as good as I remember?”
Vi nodded. “S’long as you don’t ask what the sauce is made out of.”
“Oh,” Caitlyn said, “is that the res-”
She elbowed Caitlyn sharply.
“-The stall that you took me to a month and a half ago? Where we shared that bowl of fish?”
Caitlyn was good at this.
“That’s the one, cupcake.”
Whatever rule had held them all back from eating must have been broken because the rest of the table began to pass dishes and spoon food onto their plates.
“So, Vi, how did you meet Caitlyn?” Jayce asked. He looked genuinely curious, but Jayce was a tall, broad man, and his face was exuding what was very clearly a strong protectiveness over his sister.
Given that the whole point of the dinner was to help Jayce out, it probably wasn’t best to annoy him. That said, it was the perfect segue for Vi to say, “Well, it was about half a year ago or so. I’d just finished six years in Stillwater, and I was getting back on my feet.” The rest of the table fell silent. She widened her eyes. “Right, right, wasn’t supposed to say that part.”
Cassandra’s porcelain mask finally shattered, her lips pursing together in a thin line. “Stillwater, you say?”
Vi shrugged. “Oh, you know how it is. Did some quick jobs on the street for money as a kid, and when it all catches up to you, you’re suddenly facing years in jail. Wasn’t even like I ever stole anything that expensive.”
Jayce looked alarmed, but when Caitlyn finally told him the truth, Jayce had better appreciate what Vi was doing for him. With how well the dinner was going, the Kirammans would welcome Jayce’s comparatively normal partners with open arms.
“Yes, of course,” Mel cut in. Her smile was that of a diplomat, perfectly polished and friendly. “I agree that Piltover’s law enforcement system must be reformed. Punishments ought to fit the crime, and six years in prison for theft as a minor is certainly extreme.”
Knowing that it would smear food across her face, Vi stroked her chin. “Well, there was the time I blew up a building, which I don’t think the enforcers were too happy about.”
Mel’s smile didn’t falter.
Vi was grudgingly impressed.
In an almost conspiratorial whisper, but loud enough for the table to hear, Vi said, “I think they wanted to keep me in prison for even longer, but my dad pulled some strings. Adopted dad. Same difference.”
For Jayce, admitting to governmental corruption must have been a step too far because he said, eyes chilly, “Your father?”
“Yeah, Vander took a bunch of us street rats in. I think Silco probably helped with the strings, though.”
“Vander and Silco?” Caitlyn hissed under her breath.
Vander might not quite have been on the same level as being a Kiramman, but being the adopted daughter to the leaders of the Zaunite rebellion was pretty good, in Vi’s opinion. “You’re not the only one who had secret family members up their sleeve, cupcake,” Vi whispered back. She only dared to say it because Tobias had pushed his chair back with a loud screech, covering up their voices.
“This is enough,” Tobias snarled. “I will not tolerate this- this upstart trencher in my home any longer. Leave, before I make you.”
Vi picked up her wine glass and stared at it thoughtfully. Swirled the wine around. Leaned her head back and gulped the whole glass down.
She threw her empty wine glass to the table. It shattered, deafeningly loud in the sudden silence. Standing roughly, uncaring of the way her chair toppled behind her, she slammed her hands on the dining table. “Don’t need to be told twice where I’m not wanted, Pilty.” With that parting note, Vi stalked out of the dining hall.
Behind her, she heard Caitlyn shout, “Vi! Wait! Come back! Jayce, stay here!”
Vi made it all the way down the steps and to the front gate, where she waited for the sound of running footsteps to catch up to her. Without turning around, she said flatly, “How could you, Caitlyn? You didn’t even try to defend me!”
Caitlyn walked around Vi to meet her eyes. “I-”
“Don’t even try to give me excuses.” Vi took long, purposeful strides away from the Kiramman household and down the street.
Eyes wide and pleading, Caitlyn kept pace with Vi and said, “Oh, Vi, you know how it is, I’m so sorry-”
Vi came to a halt and burst out laughing.
Doubling over in laughter, Caitlyn wheezed, “Their faces. That was amazing, Vi!”
“If only I’d gone into a life of acting instead of a life of crime.” Vi sighed dramatically. “Perhaps, then, your family would have accepted me…”
Caitlyn snickered. “Honestly, with that performance, I don’t think anything would have made my parents like you.”
“Could’ve been better, though.”
“Really?” Caitlyn looked taken aback. “I’d say you were amazing.”
“There is just one thing we didn’t get to do. Like I said, could’ve been better.”
Tilting her head, Caitlyn asked, “What? You pulled out the prison backstory, you offended them continuously, you were nice enough to Jayce and Mel and Viktor, you talked about your family… I can’t think of anything you did wrong.”
“Well, you did say that you wouldn’t mind if I kissed you.” Vi raised an eyebrow.
“To make them mad,” Caitlyn pointed out. “No one else is around.”
Vi watched Caitlyn carefully.
Caitlyn’s eyes widened. “You don’t have to,” she said hurriedly. “I’m still paying you either way.”
Rolling her eyes, Vi said, “Cupcake. You’re hot. I don’t need to be paid to want to kiss you.” She paused. “Okay, and you’re funny, and you’re sweet, and if you’re interested, I would really like to kiss you.”
When Caitlyn didn’t move, Vi assumed it was a bust. That was alright. Caitlyn probably wasn’t interested in dating a trencher outside of wanting to defend her brother, which was fair enough. Vi wasn’t planning to push her into anything, even if Caitlyn was hot. So she turned to leave.
A hand on her shoulder spun Vi around to face Caitlyn again. Then Caitlyn’s hands were both on the sides of Vi’s face, and they were kissing each other. Vi sunk deeper into the kiss, Caitlyn’s hands falling away, and wow, Caitlyn really knew how to use that tongue-
Caitlyn pulled away, panting, face flushed.
Vi grinned. “You’re a good kisser, cupcake.”
Somehow, Caitlyn’s face turned an even deeper crimson, which Vi wouldn’t have thought possible. “Want-” Caitlyn cleared her throat. “Do you want to do it again?”
Vi didn’t need to be asked twice.