Work Text:
Ian: Sarah and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's-
Sarah: Sentences.
Ian: Don't interrupt me.
Ian: Sarah... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?
Sarah: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned.
Ian:
Ian: I wrote sanitize, Sarah.
Ian: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.
Sarah: You and me!!!
Ian, tearing up: Okay.
Ian: I'm incredibly fast at math.
Sarah: Alright, what's 30x17?
Ian: 47
Sarah: That's not even close.
Ian: But it was fast.
Ian: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.
Sarah: Killed without hesitation.
Ian: No.
Ian: English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
Sarah: You need to stop.
Ian: WHAT’S YOUR TYPE
Sarah: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially
Ian, desperately, as Sarah bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE
Sarah: Oh! B positive.
Ian: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE
Sarah:
Sarah: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.
Ian, drinking toast: Why do you say that?
Ian: I actually have a black belt.
Sarah: In what, karate?
Ian: No, from Gucci, you broke bitch.