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"What. The hell am I doing?" Tony muttered as he stared with wide eyes at the large variety of condoms at the local pharmacy. He didn't know that buying condoms was going to be hard work. Bucky really should have been more specific about it. "Not like I can text the douche." He pouted, confusion (and horror) growing even more as he read what was written on the boxes.
As he contemplated on whether he would buy Tickle Me, Latex Free, Extended Pleasure, Real Feel or Extra Safe, seeing another person, a taller man, probably a little older, in the corner of his eye caught his attention. He turned his head slightly, inconspicuously watching the other man pick up two boxes and finally make a decision, putting one in his basket then putting the other back, and before he knew it, he was grabbing the other man's arm, probably with a desperate, wild look on his face, because the other man looked spooked.
"I don't know what to do." Tony squeaked, he wasn't afraid to admit that, as his grip tightened on the taller man.
“I’m sorry?” The taller man responded with his eyebrows raised.
He leaned close, going on his tiptoes because of the height difference, while the taller man crouched slightly, and he whispered, “I’ve never bought a condom before.”
The taller man choked and stared at him with wide eyes. “Excuse me?” was the high pitched response.
“I’ve never bought condoms before and I don’t know what to do.” Tony was man enough to admit he squeaked that out. He must look truly pathetic because the taller man simply tilted his head back and sighed, obviously in defeat, then asked, “Do you at least know your size?”
“Wha—”
“You know.” The taller man gestured subtly towards Tony’s torso, his gaze moving down for a split second, then back up to look meaningfully at him, as if that made everything clear. So he simply shook his head, feeing heat crawl up his neck in embarrassment, but the flush slowly making its way on the taller man’s cheeks was compensation enough. At least he wasn’t the only one embarrassed. The taller man cleared his throat, looked around then leaned down to whisper in his ear. “The thing where you put the condom on?”
Tony knew he had a horrified look on his face as he exclaimed, “Oh god, no!” getting the attention of a few people. The taller man looked surprised at him, flinching back a little, so he hissed back, “it’s for my brother! His girlfriend’s coming home for the weekend and he forgot to buy some before he picked her up, so he gave me the task of buying some. And I can’t ask him because he’ll make fun of me.” Tony was pretty sure he was practically whining out the last part. “Oh, baby genius can get into MIT at twelve doesn’t even know to pick a condom. You’ll die a virgin at this rate.” He added with a fucking great imitation of his stupid brother, if he did say so himself. “It’s not my fault science is more interesting than humans.” He hissed out with a deep frown, looking back at the overwhelming amount of condoms.
“Okay, um.” The taller man cleared his throat, fidgeting. Tony looked up back at him just in time to see a hint of awe on his face before it was replaced with embarrassment once more. “Do you know his, you know, how big he is?”
“No.” He replied, the heat consuming his face now.
“No.” The response was faint, as if other man couldn’t believe they were having this conversation at all. “O-okay. Uh...” he stuttered, cleared his throat once more, opened his mouth then closed it again, as if he was thinking of what to say. Then finally, he asked, “Do you, you know, jerk off?”
Tony sputtered for a bit. “Yes.” He replied with a squeak.
“Can you, uh, show me? I mean,” he hastily added after seeing Tony’s horrified expression, or perhaps realizing he was possibly talking to someone under eighteen, “your hand, how do you grasp it when you’re, um, when you’re excited.”
“Uh...” Tony mumbled and let one hand slip from the other man’s arm and made a circle with his index finger and thumb, about an inch or two of gap between the two fingers. If he was paying more attention to his surrounding, he would have realized that people were shooting glances at them—either in disgust, amusement or horror—since he seemed to have kept his hold on the taller man.
The other man’s eyebrows rose to his hairline, as if he was quite impressed, if Tony wasn’t misreading his expression. “Okay. Uh, how tall is your brother and what’s his body type?”
Tony looked up at the other man, finally taking note of what he looked like now that he wasn’t as overwhelmed. Letting his eyes roam, he mentally noted if this man was taller than Bucky or not. His gaze then moved to his broad chest and shoulders, trying to see if his brother was buffer or not. “He’s slightly shorter than you but definitely broader.” He finally concluded, looking back up at the man’s face (ooh, pretty eyes, he thought to himself).
“Okay.” Pretty eyes nodded then moved his attention to the different boxes of condoms. He picked up two that had My Size written on it with different numbers underneath, the number 64 highlighted on one and the number 69 highlighted on the other. He had no idea what it meant but he has humiliated himself enough so he kept his mouth shut.
“You’re a whole lot shorter than me so I assumed your brother could be pretty big, too.” Tony choked on his spit and the only way he knew the other man was affected too was the way his face seemed to flush even more, handing him both boxes. “So I chose my own size and another that’s bigger, just in case. So.” Tony’s mind seemed to blue screen for a moment, unconsciously imagining the other man’s... Yeah.
Mentally shaking his head, Tony gushed a heartfelt thanks, unconsciously squeezing the taller man's bicep. "I didn't know there were so many types of condoms. I mean, spermicide? Dotted? Lambskin? Really?" he said, the hand holding the boxes of condoms gesturing wildly towards the shelf.
He could see the taller man's lips twitch, as if he was trying to hold a smile. "No problem. Glad I could help." They stared at each other for a while, comfortable yet neither of them really knew what to say and Tony, for some weird reason felt like they were having some sort of moment.
The sound of someone clearing their throat made both of them flinch, breaking the moment. Another guy, obviously in his late thirties stretched an arm between them, forcing Tony to let the taller man's arm go, as he picked up two boxes of condoms from the shelf. The intruder looked from him to the taller man then back with a raised eyebrow and said, "You and your boyfriend are adorable but I’m pretty sure you’re still a jailbait." then promptly walked out before they can even deny anything. They were both flushed and he just had to wonder why they haven't combusted from the heat on their faces yet.
"Uh..." Tony started, fiddling with the boxes in his hand, “I never got your name?" he said shyly, making it sound like a question.
"Stephen. With a ph, not a v." The taller man—Stephen—said with a smile.
"I'm Tony." He responded with a smile, then promptly added, "Wanna get some coffee after, you know, we pay for our stuff? To thank you for uh, for helping me.” He looked away, rubbing the back of his neck, hoping that he wouldn't offend him.
"Okay." Stephen said with such a soft voice that Tony couldn't help but look at him. "Okay." The older man said once more, a big smile on his face.
He owed his brother a thank you gift.