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Request from @alliya on Tumblr: I am loving all your stories! Maybe you could do one with Shayne not feeling good and he has a stomach ache. Hiding it from Charlie and they have a fight since Shayne is super grumpy. Of course they make up and Charlie gives Shayne tummy rubs! 🥰
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Shayne wanted to throw up so badly. And yet, he really, really didn’t want to. He put one hand on the edge of the bathroom sink – the other was hovering near his mouth – as he tried to steady his breathing. He’d closed his eyes to avoid seeing himself in the mirror; he looked visibly nauseated and didn’t want to psych himself out any further.
Keep it down, he told himself for the fifteenth time. He let out the slowest breath he could manage, waiting for the nausea to pass. Keep it the fuck down.
As soon as it felt safe to open his eyes, he shakily filled his hands with cool water and splashed it on his face. His stomach was killing him – he had to straighten himself slowly to avoid making it hurt more – but at least he couldn’t feel it physically churning anymore. He dried his face and made his way back out to the kitchen, hoping he hadn’t been gone long enough for Charlie to worry.
Charlie was switching on the dishwasher when Shayne stepped onto the kitchen tiles. The air still smelled of the chicken and rice Charlie had made, and Shayne had to slow his breathing again to make sure the nausea didn’t return. As much as he didn’t want to risk Charlie blaming himself – or his cooking – for Shayne’s current state, he was considering telling him about the stomach ache. Sometimes it was hard for him to cope with being fussed over, but Charlie always ended up making him feel better.
“Oh, hey,” Charlie smiled as he turned around. His blue eyes twinkled as he crossed the room. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” Shayne replied, panicked. He flinched as he was pulled into a hug. The pressure was unpleasant on his stomach for the first few seconds, but then the warmth from Charlie’s body started to feel good pressed against him, and he leaned into the embrace with a sigh.
“I’m proud of you,” Charlie whispered near his ear.
Shayne’s chest fluttered. “What – why’s that?”
“You sat down to eat with me three times today.” Charlie rubbed his hand over Shayne’s back. “Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I know it sounds silly, but that feels like progress, right?”
A chill ran down Shayne’s spine, right behind Charlie’s hand.
That was true, even if breakfast had just been coffee and lunch had just been a slice of toast, but the statement still turned the hug into something invasive and unpleasant. Shayne put his hands on Charlie’s shoulders and pushed him back, putting a few inches between them. A cramp fluttered through his gut and almost made him wince, but he fought through it.
“What the fuck, Charlie?” He felt dizzy as he said it, like he was spinning away from the scene as it was unfolding.
Charlie’s face fell. “What?”
“You’re keeping score of what I eat?”
“I-I – no, I wouldn’t – that’s not what…” A sick, nervous laugh escaped Charlie’s lips as he fumbled a reply. “I’m just keeping an eye on you.”
“No, no, you’re watching how much I eat, and you’re… judging me.”
“Judging?” Charlie scoffed, shrugging helplessly. “All I said was that I was happy –”
“Right, which means that sometimes, you’re not happy with me.” Shayne found himself crossing his arms and pulling them hard against his stomach. He couldn’t breathe. He wanted to disappear, he wanted to be gone, he wanted to rewind the past few seconds and start again.
“Look, I’m – I’m sorry,” Charlie exclaimed, though he didn’t sound sorry in the slightest. “I just want you to be okay, Shayne! Do you know how much this whole thing scares me? I’ve had nightmares about it, like – like, you have no idea!”
Shayne flinched again, both at his boyfriend’s tone and at the revelation.
“So, yes,” Charlie sighed, a flush of red rising to his cheeks as his eyes started watering. “Yes, I’m keeping an eye on you, and yes, I care about what you’re eating. I’ll be at college soon, and I need to know you’re gonna be okay –”
“If you’re going to treat me like this,” Shayne snapped, fighting to keep his voice from breaking, “then, I might as well be back with…”
He didn’t have to say their names, the vampires who’d raised him, who’d tried to starve him of human food and foster his ability to consume the souls of demons. The people who had made him like this in the first place.
Charlie blinked and choked out a tiny gasp. He looked like Shayne had just driven a knife into his gut. A single tear broke free and lingered high on his cheek.
Fuck. With his arms still held protectively against himself, Shayne turned and left the kitchen, not really sure where he was going to hide. There was nowhere that Charlie wouldn’t find him, if he wanted to. But maybe he wouldn’t find him. Shayne certainly wouldn’t have come looking for himself, after what he’d just said.
He ended up in the front living room, sitting at the edge of the sofa and holding his head in his hands. His chest felt tight and his stomach was knotted in pain, but it was nothing compared to the seared image in his mind, of the look on Charlie’s face when he’d said that awful thing.
If he was left to stew for long, the guilt might have physically dissolved him from the inside out, but he was only there a minute or two before Charlie came through the door.
His socks barely made a sound against the hardwood as he walked, and he was biting his lip.
“Shayne, I’m – I’m sorry for making you feel like I was trying to control you.” He gently sat down on the next couch cushion over, hands in his lap. “Are you okay?”
“No, I’m… fucking horrible,” Shayne groaned, rubbing his palms over his face. “I didn’t mean any of that, Charlie, I… I’m sorry. You’re amazing. I love you, and I hate myself, and I shouldn’t take it out on you…”
“No, no, no, stop that.” Charlie turned sideways and opened his arms for another hug, and this time Shayne sank into it like a hot bath. Charlie’s hand went to the back of Shayne’s head, fingers curling into his hair. “I don’t ever want to hear you say you hate yourself, okay? That hurts more than the other stuff because you say it like you really mean it.”
Shayne gulped hard. Why did he always have to make everything so much more difficult than –?
“Okay?” Charlie asked, more sternly this time.
“Okay.” Shayne frowned, feeling another cramp flutter through his stomach. His heart skipped a beat as Charlie pressed a kiss into his hair. What was left of his resolve melted into a puddle. “Charlie?”
“Yeah?”
“I… might be slightly on edge because my stomach hurts,” Shayne mumbled, nuzzling his forehead into Charlie’s shoulder.
Charlie let out a sympathetic groan. He was sitting too close to comfortably use his palm, but he brushed the back of his hand over Shayne’s belly. “I mean, you’re entitled to your feelings, lovely, but having a sore tummy never helps. Was dinner too much?”
“Maybe a bit.”
“Okay, that’s useful info for tomorrow,” Charlie sighed, leaning back from the hug so he could see Shayne’s face. He also turned his hand over, so that he was gently cupping Shayne’s belly with his palm. “I’m sorry it hurts now, though. Do you want anything for it?”
“Just you.”
The twinkle appeared in Charlie’s eyes, like it had before things had gotten tense in the kitchen. “You have me, idiot.”
Shayne held Charlie’s hand in place as he sank back into the sofa, tugging Charlie along with him. A soft laugh escaped from Charlie as he got comfortable alongside his boyfriend, fingers tracing gently over his abdomen once his hand was freed.
“Try to relax, if you can,” Charlie urged softly, noticing Shayne was still frowning and gazing into space. “Everything’s okay.”
Even as warmth curled down through the solid mass of pain in the pit of his stomach, Shayne was gritting his teeth against the dark thoughts that tried to tell him he didn’t deserve these gentle, soothing touches. He closed his eyes and breathed through those thoughts, just like he’d breathed through the nausea before; there was a kind, beautiful boy on the sofa with him who believed that he deserved to be taken care of. What right did he have to question him?
He opened his eyes again and gave that boy a tired half-smile.
“What?” Charlie asked, his attention briefly snatched away from his own hands working on Shayne’s belly.
Shayne shook his head. “Nothing, just – thank you for looking after me.”