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Buffy moved silently, as she entered through the kitchen door, grabbing a glass from the side and running the tap for a few seconds, before filling it and drinking it down in a few gulps.
There was a dim light from the lounge, that was probably the lamp, so assuming Giles was still awake, she headed that direction. She might as well tell him that patrol was a big old yawn and... maybe they could talk, like the old days... the really old days she thought regretfully.
She was surprised to find when she got there, that the couch was empty, the bedding still folded neatly at the end.
"Giles?"
Frowning, Buffy wondered where he'd gotten too. He hadn't been at the magic box, she'd swept past on her patrol route and the lights were all off. And he still hadn't gotten a new apartment, since he'd come back.
Buffy contemplated waiting up... he couldn't have gone far after all, maybe he'd just gone out for a walk... in Sunnydale, at night. Not that he couldn't take care of himself... or, maybe he'd gone out with someone. A friend or... someone. Buffy shied away from the thought. Giles was not supposed to have... someone's.
With a sigh, she headed for the stairs. She'd have a bath and if he still wasn't back, she'd go to bed. She wasn't his keeper, he was perfectly free to come and go as he pleased. He just... usually told her, was all.
Halfway up the stairs, she stopped. Voices.
No. One voice. Giles.
She moved up a couple more steps, carefully to move silently, as she tried to hear better.
...the very day before the ambassadors came from the King of Calormen don't you remember planting the orchard outside the north gate of Cair Paravel? The greatest of all the wood-people, Pomona herself, came to put good spells on it. It was those very decent little chaps the moles who did the actual digging. Can you have forgotten that funny old Lilygloves, the chief mole, leaning on his spade and saying, 'Believe me, your Majesty, you'll be glad of these fruit trees one day.' And by Jove he was right."
"I do! I do!" said Lucy, and clapped her hands.
"But look here, Peter," said Edmund. "This must be all rot. To begin with, we didn't plant the orchard slap up against the gate. We wouldn't have been such fools."
"No, of course not," said Peter. "But it has grown up to the gate since."
"And for another thing," said Edmund, "Cair Paravel wasn't on an island."
"Yes, I've been wondering about that. But it was a what-do-you-call-it, a peninsula. Jolly nearly an island. Couldn't it have been made an island since our time? Somebody has dug a channel."
As she listened to him speak, the words faintly familiar, although she could not place them, she edged closer to the voice, realising it was coming from Dawns room, where only a faint lamp light glowed, from inside the half closed door.
"Sweet dreams, Dawn..." Buffy heard him murmur softly, just as she reached the door.
She peaked inside, seeing him brush a lock of hair back from Dawn's face and press a kiss against her forehead and felt her insides tighten with... what? Jealousy? No. Buffy couldn't imagine Giles reading her to sleep like that, kissing her forehead like she was his daughter. But... something made her stomach twist and she couldn't be entirely certain if it was good or bad.
"Good lord, Buffy, you frightened me," Giles said, even though his voice remained low, as he moved to open the door more fully and spotted her.
"Sorry... I..." Buffy took a few steps back, to give Giles room to step out of Dawn's doorway and close the door quietly behind him. "What were you reading?"
"Prince Caspian, it's either the second, or the forth book, in the Chronicles of Narnia, depending on how you choose to read it."
"Oh. I think Mom read them to us once..." that must be why she recognised them.
"Yes, Dawn said she'd read them before, but she wanted to read them again," Giles said.
"But why were you reading too her?" Buffy asked. "I mean, last I checked, Dawn's old enough to read to herself."
"It's never quite the same," Giles said. "I..."
"Giles?"
"Why don't we go downstairs, I don't want to wake her," he said. "Or Willow and Tara."
Buffy shrugged and followed him down.
"So what's the big secret?"
"It's not a secret, as such, it's just... Dawn had trouble sleeping after..."
"After I died," Buffy helpfully finished.
"Yes," Giles nodded. "She wound up on my doorstep one night, about two weeks after... after..."
He really couldn't manage to say that she'd died, without looking like he might rather stab himself, Buffy thought. She couldn't decide if that made her glad, or resentful. She was the one who'd died, why did everyone else get to be so wigged by it, they could barely say the word?
"It was rather late and after I was done chastising her for being out, in Sunnydale at night unprotected – for which I might add, I got soundly told that she wasn't an idiot and she had a stake with her, thank you very much – she asked if she could stay. She couldn't sleep at home. I called Willow and Tara so they knew where she was and put her to bed in the loft while I took the couch. Not an hour later, she was downstairs again. I don't know why I offered to read to her, I... I almost immediately rescinded the offer as sounding stupid, too childish, but she said she'd like it. I didn't have too many books around that are entirely suitable for bedtime reading, but she seemed happy enough with The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe. She fell asleep and slept through the night. After that, it became somewhat of a tradition. If she had trouble falling asleep, she would call me and I'd either read to her over the phone, or I'd come over here. This is the first time I've done it since I returned. It's the first time she's asked."
Buffy listened to him explaining and the same tight, twisty feeling from earlier came back, but this time she knew what it was.
Love.
She didn't think she'd felt it since her return, not even for Dawn, but there it was.
This man... her watcher, her friend, her confidant. For the first time since she'd dug herself out of the ground, she felt like her heart was really beating.
Buffy threw herself into his arms and held on tight, unable to express with words, every feeling that was suddenly overwhelming her, all because Rupert Giles cared enough to read her little sister a bedtime story.
"Buffy?" he murmured carefully, his own arms tight around her, strong fingers soothing up and down her spine.
Buffy shook her head against his chest, she couldn't speak...
"I... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you..." Giles said softly.
Buffy shook her head more firmly. "You... I... not..."
She just... couldn't formulate the words. Not even to herself. It was such a small thing, but it was so... huge. It was Giles. Caring for them, just like he always had, in whatever way he could.
"I love you."
She felt the sharp inhale, where her head rested against his chest.
"I..." she looked up at him, the familiar green eyes. "I love you, Giles. You... I love you."
Giles looked so adorably confused, that Buffy started laughing and once she started, she couldn't seem to stop. She was giggling and grinning and there were tears streaming down her cheeks and she felt... alive.
"I love you. I love Dawn. I love Willow, Xander, Tara and even Anya..." Buffy said, still half giggling to herself.
"We... we all love you too," Giles said.
"I know," Buffy said. "I just... I felt so... nothing. You know? Like...there was all this empty space inside and... but... Giles, you were reading my kid sister bedtime stories... because she was hurting and you love her..."
"I... you'll excuse me Buffy if I'm still, rather confused. Not that I'm unhappy that... it's... truly wonderful to see you smile, to hear you laugh..." Giles said softly.
"I know, I'm not making much sense it just... I think I'd forgotten what it felt like to love... what it means really... but, you love Dawn, so you were reading to her and it just... made me... it was like I could see it, that you loved her..." Buffy said. "I could feel it."
Giles smiled softly at her. "You... never do cease to amaze me."
Buffy reached up, to touch softly at the edge of his smile, her finger tracing along his lower lip. "I really do love you, you know. I... I don't think I even knew how much, until... I thought you were going to die. And then everything happened and..."
"Buffy..." Giles voice was low and slightly breathless. "Are you... saying what I think you're saying?"
"I'm not... ready, yes... but I'd like to... when I am, would you go out to dinner with me? Like... a date?"
Giles swallowed. "I would... I would like that, very much."
Buffy smiled softly and stood on her tip toes, to press her lips, just briefly, against Giles mouth. "Good night... Rupert."
She was half way to the stairs, when she heard Giles exhale softly and his murmured, "Good night, Buffy. Sweet dreams."
She smiled. For the first time since she's come back, she really felt she might.