Chapter Text
I knew Michael was catching onto me. The way he would take me out to eat more often now that we've moved into a small apartment together a few months ago, the way he'd reassure me more often and compliment me whenever I glanced at my reflection through the mirror... I know he was. I wasn't being sneaky enough and knew he would confront me about it sooner or later.
I've never been open about my disordered eating with anyone. I've never been open about myself, or my struggles in general. The only person that knew the slightest bit about me was Michael.
I lied in bed, awake. I glanced over at the clock that stood at my bedside drawer. 5:48 AM. Michael should be home soon, I thought to myself. I turned to my side, opposite to where the clock was after grabbing my phone. The battery was at 100%, so I disconnected it and scrolled through my notifications.
I read a few texts from family, friends, and Michael that they left me last night. Some goodnight messages, some check-ups, and some replying to conversations were had a while ago. I told myself that I'd reply to them later, setting my phone back on the bedside table and snuggling up against the pillows and pulling my blanket up. I sigh, closing my eyes and attempting to fall asleep again.
I haven't been able to sleep lately from, what I think are, heart palpitations. Any time I try to sleep, I just... can't. My heart feels as if it'll rip through my chest. It gets scary at night, and it's even more scary to know that Michael won't be here if anything happens to me. So I've just been trying to stay up, keeping my phone by my side incase anything were to ever happen.
A few moments pass as I was deep in thought. I heard the front door open, and I opened my eyes. I looked over at the clock as I sat up... 6:01. Twelve minutes really passed that quickly?
I quickly laid back down in bed as I heard his quiet, gentle footsteps walking over to the bedroom. I tried to act as if I was asleep, which seemed to be working since I have been doing this this past couple weeks. I heard the door open with a quiet creek, and hear it close. I heard movement, and shuffling.
After a bit, I felt the other side of the bed sink a bit as Michael sat down, laying down after. He wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me close and pressing my back against his chest. I tensed up a bit.
"...I know you're awake, love." He whispered, moving his face near my neck. He peppered my skin with soft kisses, and I smiled.
"Sorry," I mumbled "I can't sleep."
He gently kissed my cheek. "Why not?"
I could feel my heart speed up a bit. I lightly shrugged. "I think it was from the coffee I had before bed." I lied.
"Coffee makes you sleepy, dear..."
Right.
I turned around, now facing him. I pecked his lips. "I don't know what it is, then." I say, meeting his gaze as I brushed some hair out of his face. Although it was dark in the bedroom, the moonlight reflected off his face, and I could still make out his handsome features. "Maybe now since you're here I can sleep. I missed you."
That let out a chuckle from him, and he kissed my forehead. I felt my face warm up... we've been together for a few years and he could still make me blush.
"Have you been feeling alright?"
I knew he would ask that tonight. I nodded, snuggling closer to him. "Of course I am, Michael... I am alright."
He didn't seem to believe that, but he didn't push it for now. He still held me gently.
"If you say so..." He mumbled out tiredly. "Goodnight, my love..."
I whispered a small "goodnight" too, closing my eyes and focusing on him. I tried to fall asleep this time, and this time I did.