Work Text:
November 2019...
Meet Samuel Warren Talyor (placeholder). He’s your average southern californian teen. He does decent in school, while not too much of an athlete, is in good health and on the baseball team. He’s got good parents, no real trauma. You get the idea. Enough of my rambling. And now, our unwitting protagonist is about to become an explorer, a changer of a new world.
It’s been regular day at school
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He wakes up. Hey, it seems to be coming to. “Where am I? What happened?” “This is the General Hospital. You were found unconscious in an alley.” The heck, what happened, Sam thought, lifting his head up, and looked at the doctor, who was wearing… an animal costume?. “Hey, what’s with the costume?” The unthinkable happens. “What costume?” the Lynx replies. “What the-”, Samuel scrambles and flails in a panicked attempt to get away from the cat… thing. “Hold him down!” “Calm down, we're not gonna hurt ya!” Now there were more of them trying to hold him down. He squirms, but against the arms holding him there is little use. He surrenders. I’m going nuts, and I’m seeing the doctors with animal heads. “I-I’m sorry, i-its just that you look- I’m seeing you as a-a cat.” “Well, yes lynxes can be mistaken for cats.” “Doc, don’t try to be funny, I really am seeing a cat or lynx or whatever.”
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Unknown animal found in alleyway: Report
Earlier this Thursday an unknown animal was found in an alleyway by a passerby.
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“Wait, hold up. So there are carnivores right? Sooo, how are you guys like, alive, don’t carnivores have to eat meat to live…?” He could feel the room immediately freeze over. Even though he could not tell what the expression on their faces were, their staring and silence knew he had stepped into an uncomfortable area. “Meat has been illegal since the carnivore-herbivore war.” “Uh, o-ok, I was just wonder-” ''Are you trying to paint carnivores as savages?” “No, I-I was just, uh, wondering how they’re not dead, o-oh, sorry, I didn’t know tha, er because, well the, uh…” “I hope you will not bring this up again, Samuel.” “Uh, alright, I won’t, sorry...” The room seemed to relax. They’re hiding something, thought Samuel. They said everything was alright, but when I ask that question they get mad. But, the carnivores and herbivores should be in harmony...
“Uh, I won’t ask about the war for right now... wait, what country is this again? “The All-Species Republic.” “Oh, is this like the United States?” “What’s that?” “It’s the country I come from. It’s a republic too, and there are 50
“Wait, so there are no wars?” Sam asked, mouth agape.
“While there have been a few insurgencies here and there, no large scale wars have happened since the establishment of the Republic 75 years ago.
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So, I’ve been sucked into a world with talking animals, I ask a question, they suddenly wanna kill me. But that’s not the worst part: I gotta go to school. I guess no matter what, I’ll never get away from school. Good news: World peace! I g
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Sam finds a bench and sits down. The other animals maintain a safe distance.
I get the idea, but do any of them think I'm going to put a dent into a buffalo?
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“Zoozle? Oh cmon, like, wait how did google get its name?” “Google?” “That’s what it was called back home.”
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Sam scrolls through the news feed.
Paws on the world - New devouring case in South Hampton
Blurble - Learn Seaspeak quick and easy - AD
Generic News Network - “This ‘Human’ is the Antirex” pastor claims
Los Ayudantes Times -
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Basically here he uses real world animal techniques on a carnivores, and action
Normal after school day etc.
Sam doesn’t notice the canid coming from behind.
“Look out behind you!” He hears from across the street.
He hears animalistic growling behind him and spins around.
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The Llama frantically dials 911 as the animals around her record with their phones.
“911, what’s your emergency”
“A wolf has gone feral at [location TBD] and they’re attacking the human guy, and, wait what is he doing? Holy-”
“Does he really think he’s gonna take on a wolf?” another bystander asks.
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Not 15 feet away from him was Jennifer, but she seemed enraged.
She was growling, her drooling teeth bared.
Fear grips his body.
“Woah, uh, hi Jenny, uh, what did I do?”
“Run kid, she’s gone feral!”
What? So… she’s like a normal wolf now? Wait, she wants to eat me?
[EXPLETIVE]
[EXPLETIVE]
[EXPLETIVE]
Uh, oh wait, don’t turn and run, make yourself bigger, make noise, keep eye contact, [EXPLETIVE] what else…
Sam waves his arms around and screams every word he can think of at the top of his lungs.
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She had been stalking this… thing for a while now.
It didn’t notice as she went stalking. It was completely oblivious.
Her prey was in sight. It couldn't run now. Stealth no longer mattered.
40 feet.
30.
20.
15.
Then, it spun around and- started roaring and flailing?
Confusion ran through her mind.
But why would it be yelling at her, one of the most feared animals, when she was trying to eat-
What was she doing?
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Jennifer breaks down crying.
Sam stops his act.
“Uh, Jennifer?”
“What am I doing? What?”
Is this a trap? “Hi, are you ok?”
“
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New part
News reporter
In a long line of subverting expectation, Taylor the Human narrowly avoided being the victim of a predation last friday. Caught on camera, which has garnered millions of views on ZooTube, shows Taylor not 15 feet away from a feral wolf. Rather than flee, Taylor begins waving his arms and screaming in the face of the wolf.
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Anti meat PSA that’s hilarious
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“Wait wait wait. Lemme take this down.” Same gets out a random notebook, flips to the back, and starts taking notes. “So there are carnivores and herbivores. Carnivores need to eat meat to live. But meat is illegal. So there is a GIANT black market that literally EVERYONE knows about to provide meat? So, what’s the point of the laws?” “To make people feel safe!” “Feel safe? Making them feel safe isn’t going to do any good if they’re safe in the first place!”
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“Wait what? A whale? Am I reading that right? Wait, so a globe spanning war, and a whale comes out of the ocean stopping it? Ok, where are the hidden cameras? You have a weird animal from another dimension, and you play a pra-.
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But why hide it? We humans have a saying: those who do not know history are doomed to repeat it.
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Taylor the Human announces plans to pursue journalism.
Taylor, the teenage human, who revealed discrepancies in the taught history in the curriculum, announces he plans to pursue a career in journalism. “I've been placed in a world that, to me, is an interesting new one.