Work Text:
Riley would like to think they were friends. Maybe it was because when she looked at Maya or was near her she felt this irresistible pull. Something unknown to her linked her heart to hers.
Of course Riley never voiced this. She could never, Maya would make fun of her. Maya would even maybe pull away. She did that a lot. Riley noticed it over the years. Throughout middle school growing into high school. It would seem like the girl would start to make friends but the second they seemed close, the second the people thought they were Mayas friends, she left.
Riley would not have that happen to her.
So she did what Maya asked happily. She sat with her in Topanga's as the girl worked and Riley did her homework for her. Maya would bring her hot chocolate and sometimes even a snack. If Riley even mentioned for a second she hadn’t eaten in a few hours or that day Maya didn’t hesitate.
It was sweet. God it was so sweet and made her heart melt.
Something about the all scary Maya Hart caring about her and telling her in an aggressive way to “shut up and fucking eat the muffin duck” was just so…beautiful.
It melted her.
Maya didn’t know it or maybe she did but Riley was in her hands. Putty and gooey like a melted chocolate that got all over you. That might be a gross analogy but it was true.
So with all that Riley would like to think they were friends. I mean Maya cared about her enough to feed her so that just had to mean something.
Riley didn’t really have friends either so this was great for her. In school she would always walk with Maya and she felt like no one else in the world could touch her. No bullies, no nothing, well as long as Maya was next to her. It was just her and Maya in there black and white world.
Even if Maya acted like she didn’t want her there Riley knew better. She always knew better.
It’s why she was happily right now skipping next to Maya in the hallways. The blonde had her skateboard tucked underneath her arm and Riley held Mayas books to her chest.
Riley wasn’t a morning person. It was always something she tried to keep a secret. When she went out in the world she was happy, she truly was. But waking up in the morning sometimes felt like pulling herself out of tar if she hadn’t gotten at least 10 hours of sleep. Which for a high school student was hard.
Maya was somehow the opposite Riley had quickly learned. She woke up early and would ride through the city on her skateboard watching the sun rays peek through the city.
Riley had gone with her this morning. She forgoed her important sleep to meet Maya halfway at the park to walk with her watching the sun rise. New York was always busy so of course it wasn’t just them but to Riley it might as well have been.
Sure, she didn’t get enough sleep. In her head she was a little ticked off but her heart was beyond happy. She was happy. So she was skipping and Maya was trudging through the hallway looking like she could kill the people in front of her and Riley knew better than to take offense to Mayas resting face. Sure, she could look scary, but Maya was happy.
They stopped at Maya's locker first. She shoved her skateboard inside turning to Riley and Riley handed her whatever she needed.
“What happened to your backpack?” Riley asked after a moment.
“The strap broke.”
“Oh,” Riley mumbled. “I can get you one.”
“No.” Maya's tone was sharp and Riley pouted. “I don’t need your money, duck. I’m just waiting for my next paycheck from your mother.”
Riley hummed, rocking on her feet. She knew Maya would get enough money for a backpack in the next week from her paycheck. For now she was happy helping her though, she was always happy helping maya.
“Did you finish the-“
“History?” Riley asked, handing her the paper already. Maya grinned at her and they walked towards her dad's classroom. “I also have your English assignment, it’s in my bag.”
Maya didn’t respond to her besides a nod of the head. Once in the classroom Maya sat down behind her and Riley sat at the front. She pulled her backpack off and onto the floor sitting through grabbing the packet of papers.
“Here.” She turned, putting it on Maya's desk. “Just read it over.”
“Why?” Maya scoffed. She scanned the paper quickly. “Just seems like some bullshit about a book about soulmates and colors.”
“Peaches,” Riley whined. “Don’t curse, we’re at school.”
“Whatever,” Maya grumbled. “Keep it in your bag till my class.” She shoved it back into Riley’s hands and she sighed looking down at the essay.
It was a beautiful book. It made Riley think a lot. She always thought about soulmates. The moment when you would say there name and the whole world would brighten up. Her parents had said it would be the best moment of her life.
Riley could only imagine it. She thought about what colors were but it was hard to imagine something like that. Even with descriptions of what blue was, or what red felt like it wouldn’t be comparable.
She wanted that moment but, her eyes flitted to maya, she didn’t know who she wanted it with.
Or maybe she did.
Riley did.
Of course she actually did. It’s one of the reasons she never said her name. Friends with Maya was one thing, but soulmates, Maya would move across the country to get away from her.
That closeness, the feeling, the love, it was too much. Too overwhelming and too big for maya. If friends scared her, soulmates would terrify her.
So Riley never said her name. It was peaches since day one because she smelled like peaches and it made Riley’s tummy flutter when she was younger.
Riley childishly hoped Maya said duckling because she was afraid to. Maybe the nicknames, the pet names that made her heart flutter, were all because Maya didn’t want to leave her. She didn’t want to see the reasons written in color, so she never said it, if she never said it she couldn’t be terrified and wouldn’t have to run.
If Maya never said it maybe it meant deep down she knew. And if they both knew, or wanted it, or had some unspoken understanding, then maybe that was enough. Maybe they could stay in black and white because even though color sounded beautiful it was terrifying.
The highs and the lows, the explosions of it all over the world and in the sky. The mixes and swirls of color would overwhelm them and no matter how much they blinked, how much Maya tried, it would be the one thing she could never fully forget. It wasn’t a friend, once you saw color it couldn’t go away. She couldn’t forget about her soulmate, not like a friend. Colors would be her reminder.
Riley wanted color, but she wanted Maya Hart more.
She carefully put the essay back in her bag turning forward. She clasped her hands on the desk blinking away the blurry ness in her eyes. She thought of the light peaking through buildings, how even without color it was beautiful.
She thought of Maya sketching it in pencil in her notebook. How she made Maya stop near an alleyway because “duckling the sun in perfect here hold on” she thought of it all.
Her father eventually entered the class room and the bell rang and class started.
~
The day had started out really good for her but some people were putting a damper on Riley’s happiness. She was really trying, she really was. It was lunch time now and she couldn’t stomach the thought of being in the cafeteria. Not in that big room with so many people when some of them were mean to her for no reason.
She went where she normally did. Wandering through the halls till she ended up outside on the front steps of the school. Her backpack leaned up against the pillar at the bottom of the steps. Her food tray was resting next to her, her legs laying in front of her along the step. She leaned against the pillar, closing her eyes with a sigh.
“And what do we have here?” Maya's voice filled her ears. She heard the thumps of her combat boots against the steps, the rattle of the chains on her pants. A shadow came over her and she opened her eyes to Maya blocking the sun.
“Are you skipping?” she asks. Maya winked at her sitting down and Riley’s eyes followed her.
“Who’s asking?” She quirked an eyebrow grabbing a fry from Riley’s tray.
“Me?” Riley said, confused. Maya laughed at her and Riley didn’t quite understand it but Maya laughing made her smile so she laughed along.
“Why are you out here duck?” Riley shrugged. It wasn’t Maya's problem. She looked down at her tray taking a bite of her food. “Am I influencing you to be bad? Your father would have my head.”
“No,” Riley mumbled, rolling her eyes. “I’m not being bad,” she pouted.
“Sure, sure.” She patted Riley’s leg and the hair on her skin raised. She inhaled deeply quickly shoving a fry in her mouth. “But really, why are you out here?”
“Why are you out here?” Riley asked back locking eyes with her own.
Maya's face was hard. It was scary. It made her heart pound and when she leaned forward Riley was sure she could hear it in her ears.
“Why are you here?” She asked more pointed and Riley’s body flushed.
“I-I don’t know,” she stuttered out. She looked down but Maya's hand was under her chin tilting her head up with delicacy that could kill and maybe Riley was already dead, maybe this was what heaven was.
“Don’t lie to me.” She gulped at the rasp in her voice. Her eyes wanted to flicker away but she held Mayas gaze.
“People…were being mean to me.”
Maya let go of the chin and it left her face cold. She moved quickly sitting next to Riley and before Riley knew it she pulled her legs, putting them over her lap and turning her entire body towards her.
“W-What are you doing!”
“Don’t tell anyone this,” Maya spoke coldly. Her fingertips were fire against Riley’s leg, dancing against her skin before gently resting her hand down.
Riley was too afraid to move for a moment. But then she did, leaning forward against Maya resting her body against the girls. Maya's arm wrapped around her waist and she shut her eyes. It flooded her, going through her like a damn breaking.
“I-I didn’t do anything wrong,” she mumbled. Her lip wobbled and when she inhaled her chest stuttered.
“You didn’t,” Maya assured her. “What were there names?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Why not?” Maya asked, pulling back. Riley whined trying to lean into her again. “No, tell me why not?”
“They just don’t like me! It happens!” she yelled frustrated. Maya didn’t like that. She could see it immediately and this wasn’t just her face. No this was a look of pure anger and it had her wanting to run for the hills but Maya left her frozen.
“Don’t you fucking ever say it happens,” she started lowly, “it shouldn’t fucking happen. So why don’t you tell me there names duckling and I’ll take care of it.”
“No.”
“No?” Maya raised an eyebrow. Riley gulped. She made a mistake. But had she? She didn’t want Maya to get in trouble and Riley was perfectly capable of taking care of herself.
“You make fun of me so why does it matter?”
“Why does it matter?” She said offended, her hand gripped Riley’s leg tighter. “I’m different, we both know that. Only I can make fun of you, no one else is allowed to.”
“How are you different?” Riley asks with a tone. “Because I do your homework? Because I’m useful?”
Maya clenched her jaw. Riley wanted to apologize right away. Say she made a mistake and she was sorry. That she didn’t mean it and she actually loved doing Maya's homework and she knew it was more, that there was so much more.
Maya's eyes felt dark and clouded. Something fearful rises in Riley’s heart and she tried pulling away but Maya was stronger holding onto her. Her fingers tapped on her leg rhythmically before she leaned toward. Riley inhaled sharply at the few inches Maya put in between them.
“Useful?” she whispered with a chuckle. “Is that all you think you are?”
“Y-You-“ Riley was afraid to speak. Afraid to say Maya didnt like friends so they weren’t friends. Maya wouldn’t allow that, wouldn't say it.
“No say it,” Maya pushed her on. Blue eyes were taking over her world.
“You…d-don’t like friends.” She shrunk in Maya's lap. She was taller than the older girl but somehow felt so impressively small right now. And fearful, god so fearful because what if this was it? What if this was where Maya stopped everything?
“You aren’t my friend.” She said it so clearly it shafted Riley’s heart with one quick strike. “Your mine,” she said lower. She tilted her head to the side.
Riley didn’t know what to say or even what to think. She moved her hands in her lap, twisting her fingers together. What did that mean? They weren’t friends but Riley was hers? Where did that put her? What was she?
“Why don’t you tell me who they were duckling, huh?” Maya asked lightly. She took her hand away from Riley’s leg to gently caress her cheek. Riley’s eyes flickered to her hand back to her eyes and for a millisecond she looked at the girls lips.
“Um…Missy and Billy.”
“Good.” Maya patted her cheek and Riley’s face scrunched up. She reached over grabbing Riley’s food tray, putting it and both of their laps. “I’ll take care of them, don't you worry. Now eat before your lunch period ends.”
Riley watched Maya hesitantly for a few seconds. She had more questions now then ever but with that look in Maya's face she knew better than to try anything. She picked up a fry taking a small bite of it with a sigh.
~
Maya got suspended. She started a fight and Riley wasn’t allowed to ask questions even if she tried. Maya just shut her up right away with a finger to her lips or her hand covering her mouth or with a simple “shut up” when Riley finally annoyed her.
It was her second day of her three day suspension and Riley had been bringing her her school work. That’s where she was now, Maya's house on her floor in her room. Maya's work was spread around her and the two of them were trying to get through it.
Well, Riley was. Maya was drawing in her sketchbook. Riley didn’t mind though, she could do it. She did Maya’s homework anyway so this was fine. She's mastered Maya's hand writing by now she didn’t even think of it. She's picked up the loops and smudges Maya makes while writing. She's picked up how she crosses her t’s and dots her i’s.
“Maya! I’m home!”
“Oh shit,” Maya cursed. Riley looks up confused watching her get up and shove her sketchbook under her pillow. Her door opened shortly after and Riley turned.
“Ma- oh hi Riley.”
“Hi Ms.Hart! It’s nice to see you, how are you?” She asked, smiling up at Maya's mother. She looked tired still in her waitress outfit.
“I’m good thank you Riley.” She looked over at her daughter and Riley turned, seeing Maya with an almost guilty expression on her face. “You didn’t tell me Riley was here.”
“You didn’t ask.”
“Well, I left food for you on the counter. Riley is welcomed to have some. I’m going to shower and go to bed. I love you, be good please and if you leave the house again leave a note.”
“Yes Ma'am, I love you too.” Katy nodded, sending a smile to Riley before leaving the room.
“Why didn’t you tell her I came over?” Riley asks, confused. She watched Maya pull her sketchbook back out sitting down on the floor.
“She didn’t ask,” Maya repeated, shrugging. Riley narrowed her eyes at her. “Duck, it’s not that important. I knew she was busy working, I didn’t think it was important.”
“Alright,” she mumbled, looking back down. The words on the paper blended together and she sighed.
“Let’s take a break,” Maya decided. She stood again lending a hand out and Riley hesitantly took it. “Are you hungry? What did you have today?”
“My mom made me pancakes this morning and I ate at school.” Maya hummed, dragging her out of her room and into the kitchen. On the counter was a bag, Maya let go of her hand going to it. She opened it, pulling out a container, opening it.
“Did you eat in the cafeteria?”
“Why is that important?” She grumbled leaning against the counter.
“Because honey,” Maya started with a light snap, “you shouldn’t be too afraid of being made fun of to eat where you're supposed to.”
“I like the steps,” Riley argued, crossing her arms. “It’s quieter than with everyone yelling.”
“The steps in front of the road in New York is quiet?” Maya asks, looking up at her. Riley hit her tongue standing her ground. “Whatever you say duck.” She shook her head turning back.
She put the container in the microwave and grabbed two plates from the cabinets splitting the contents in the container pushing them into the microwave.
Maya pushed away from the counter walking the step over to Riley. Riley’s hands grabbed the edges of the counter when the older girl moved in front of her placing her hands on either side of her.
“I don’t think you should be afraid to not eat in there.”
“Please,” Riley whispered looking down at her. “Missy and Billy aren’t even there. I-I promise I’m fine.”
“Are you?” She asked, tilting her head. “Has anyone else bothered you?”
“No and I promise. You shouldn’t have gotten into a fight with them.”
“They deserved it.” She squeezed the counter tighter. Riley jumped from the harsh tone. “They were fucking assholes.”
“Don’t say that,” she mumbled looking down. Maya laughed tilting her chin back up so there eyes met.
“Asshole?” She asked with a glint in her eye. “Or fucking?” She said smoothly.
“B-Both.”
“Fuck,” Maya let out extending the word pronouncing it with a stronger k. Riley breathed deeply. “Afraid I’m tainting you pumpkin? Your parents must despise me.”
“N-No, they like you. My dads actually been worried about you. My mom said she liked that you stood up for me but they both agreed you could have done it in a less violent way. They think you're a good…you know.”
“That’s not how I roll honey.” Riley nodded, it was far from how Maya rolled. She’s seen Maya many times with bruised and bleeding knuckles or black eyes and busted lips from fighting. “You know?” She questioned after a moment.
“Friend,” Riley forced out her voice waving. Mayas thumb ran across her bottom lip slowly. Riley looked down trying to look at the movement.
“Ya because I’m such a good fucking influence,” she laughed lightly. Riley’s eyes flickered back up into Mayas. She stopped breathing because Mayas eyes weren’t look up but down where her thumb was. “Aren’t I?”
“W-What?” Riley’s voice cracked. Maya looked up smirking. She leaned in closer there noses starting to brush together. Riley’s eyes fluttered shut, she was so close Riley could feel her breath.
“A good influence,” Maya whispered.
Riley wanted to lean forward. She wanted to lean forward so bad. She gulped moving her head the slightest. Her heart began to pound in her ears. Mayas hand moved from her chin to cup her cheek. All Riley or Maya had to do was Lena just a smallest bite closer.
BEEP.
Riley jumped. Maya pulled back with a groan letting go of Riley. Riley watched her, her mouth falling open trying to formulate words, any word at all. Maya opened the microwave pulling out the container, beginning to split its contents on the two plates.
“Let’s eat in my room.”
Riley nodded, taking the plate Maya handed her and quickly followed behind.
~
Riley couldn’t stop thinking about it. How close Maya was. Was she going to kiss her? Would Maya kiss her? Did Maya see her that way? She couldn’t stop thinking about her thumb on her lip, gliding over pushing gently. She hung onto the thought at night. It drove her crazy.
Maya came back to school after her suspension. She picked Riley up and they both walked together after meeting up at the park. Riley tried to stop herself from looking at her. She tried to force herself not to look at her lips.
“Miss Hart,” Her father said as they entered the room. Riley sighed sitting at her desk at the front.
“Matthews,” Maya saluted leaning against Riley’s desk. “Missed me? Come on, I know you have.” Riley’s father smiled a little. They both could see it and it only made Maya smirk more.
“Did you do your homework?” He asked raising an eyebrow.
“Yes she has!” Riley responded. She quickly rooted through her bag pulling out papers she clipped together. Maya took it from her and turned around handing it to her father.
“Yes I have!”
“I see,” he hummed. He looked, flipping through the papers and every few seconds looked up at the two of them. Riley grew nervous. He hadn’t figured it out yet but what if this is the day? She didn’t want to be the reason Maya got in trouble after getting out of suspension. “You plan on staying out of fights, Miss Hart?”
“Depends,” Maya said immediately. Riley was sinking in her chair. Out of all the responses that wasn’t the right one.
“Depends?” Her father asked. He set the papers down on his desk.
“You know me sir, I’m just such a bad influence. Never know when I’m gonna do something.” Riley couldn’t help but giggle a little. Her fathers eyes shifted to her and she clamped her mouth shut.
“Maya,” he started. He sighed, glancing away then back at the girl. “Have a seat please, class will start soon.”
Maya nodded, walking past Riley and sitting behind her where she always sat. Her father watched them, she tried not to meet his eyes. She thought if she did he would see everything.
She took out her notebook and began to do the bell work.
Out of the entire room she could still somehow hear Maya. Make out the scribbling of her pencil on paper. She could see what Maya could be drawing, flowers, a person, anything the girl put her mind to. She knew whatever it was it would be beautiful.
Maya was beautiful, Riley thought. She shouldn’t think it. She shouldn’t even be thinking about them kissing.
Maya wouldn’t have right? She just had done it to bother her, tease her. It was just one of the many games of Maya.
Just…a tease. Running her thumb along her lip. The noses brushing, god her breath against her lips. If Riley closed her eyes again for long enough she was there again. She had visualized and gone back to the memory so many times it was a well read book by now, the pages old and crinkled the spine well cracked.
It would have been so simple to kiss her then. If Riley had courage maybe she would have. If Riley hadn’t been terrified. But now with time to think about it she might be even more terrified because what were the repercussions to kissing?
Maya didn’t do friends, what was kissing? She still didn’t understand what she was and now there was kissing?
Her chair was kicked and Riley jolted. Her hand slipped out from under her head and she almost face planted on her desk.
“W-What?” She stuttered out. Her father gave her a blank look of disappointment and guilt filled her chest.
“I asked if you were paying attention, Riley.”
“S-Sorry dad,” she mumbled. She scooted down in the chair as some people in the class laughed.
“It’s fine, just pay attention. Now as I was saying-“
Riley zoned out for the rest of the class. She doesn’t think she took in a single word for the entire period all she could think about was soft lips and what they meant.
~
Maya found her again outside on the steps. Riley knew this meant she was skipping again, she would need to bring up Maya getting her classes changed so they could share lunch together.
This time she didn’t argue with Riley. Didn’t scold her just sat down against the pillar pulling Riley’s legs over her lap. Riley squeaked at first but settled down on top of her trying to eat her pizza.
Mayas fingers drummed on her leg. She was thinking, Riley could tell that. Her eyes seemed hazy like she was far away somewhere.
Riley let her be. She took small bites taking breaks to run play with the rings on Mayas fingers. She spun them around and took one of them off trying to slip it onto her own finger.
“Do you want it?” Maya finally spoke looking at her. “You can have it.”
“W-What?” Riley said, confused. Maya laughed lightly, picking her hand up to slip the ring further onto Riley’s finger.
“The ring duckling, you can have it.”
“Are you sure I-I don’t-“
“Yes. Now shut up.” Riley clamped her mouth shut. Her heart melted and fluttered on the inside as she looked down at the ring on her finger. She ran her thumb over the little gemstone it had.
“What color is this?” Riley asks softly.
“Don’t know, didn’t say, never asked, I think it’s black or like a dark color.” Riley hummed, nodding. It looked dark. “I think my mother would have told me by now if my colors didn’t match.”
Riley laughed, the amount of times her own mother had to correct her on something. Sometimes she even wholeheartedly forgot what colors were. When her mind wasn’t plagued with soulmates, which was easy sometimes.
“What were you thinking about?” Riley finally decided to ask. She locked there fingers together smiling to herself at Maya's ring on her hand.
“You were distracted today in class,” Maya stated simply. “You need to pay attention or we’ll both fail.”
“I live with him,” Riley scoffed. “I’ll get the full run down at dinner again.” Maya's hand flatter on her thigh and Riley inhaled. It was a simple touch, it was nothing really. Her heart shouldn’t beat this fast and she shouldn’t think about it. It was just a touch. “If it really bothers you I can-“
“What were you distracted by?” She asked instead. “You were pretty out of it.”
Riley’s mind spun. She shouldn’t tell her. She couldn’t voice it, couldn’t say it. It would be wrong, too much too soon.
Maya's hand came up under her chin once again. Riley closed her eyes so she wouldn’t have to be met with Mayas.
“Open.” The command made her blush. It came with the tap of a finger against her reddened cheek. Riley couldn’t. She really couldn’t. She was so fearful of scaring Maya away. That the wrong word or saying something the wrong way would have her running for the hills. “Come on honey, what is it?”
“Nothing.” She pushed her head down into Maya's shoulder hiding her face. Her skin heated under Maya's hand that moved to her arm.
“It’s always something. Tell me duck. Did something happen again?”
Maya wouldn’t let it down. Riley knew that of course she did. It was one of the reasons Riley loved her. If maya had something she couldn’t let it go, she was persistent and loving and that’s how Riley knew she cared. At least that she cared more then she wanted others to be aware of.
“I-I don’t want to scare you away,” Riley said after a beat. She squeezed her eyes shut thinking back to the other day. “But…I think…I want to kiss you. L-Like really bad.”
“Oh duckling likes the bad girls,” Maya laughed. Riley whined trying to hide more into her but the girl just grabbed her face to force her to elan back and look at her.
Instead of Maya being far away when Riley opened her eyes they were closer, a lot closer than she thought they would be.
“I told you, you were mine, didn’t I?” She asks her voice husky.
“But you-“ Riley stuttered. Her face began to burn. “If we- you-“ Riley didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know where to go from here but now Mayas eyes were flickering down to her lips and all she could think about was what they would feel like against her own.
So she made the move.
She, Riley Matthews, made the move. She didn’t wait for Maya, she didn’t wait for some command or order that would make her all hot. No, she leaned forward and lightly kissed her.
Maya surged forward, pressing into her harder. Her hand immediately went up into her hair pulling at it and Riley groaned.
There lips moved together roughly pulling back for air to go in softer. She hummed, licking Maya's lips.
“Your family is gonna hate me,” Maya whispered. Her hand shifted in Riley’s hair. She whimpered, sitting up straighter to lean more into maya.
“My family loves you,” Riley breathed out. “I-I,” Riley didn’t say it. Didn’t let herself finish the stance. “Why don’t…you keep friends?” She chose to ask instead.
Mayas hand became loose in her hair. She felt it fall down and start to play with the baby hairs at the nap of her neck.
“There all fake,” Maya mumbled. “I don’t need them.”
“I disagree,” she mumbled.
“Oh ya?” Maya husked. She leaned up ghosting her lips against Riley’s. “Why’s that?”
“Because…I-I think…you do need them.” She felt Maya inhale sharply. She felt her freeze and her body tense up and Riley became full of fear. “But,“ she rushed out, “I-I get…why you're afraid. People are scary to let in when you’ve been hurt.”
“Not hurt.”
Riley knew better. She knew Maya had been hurt, hurt by her father when he left. She didn’t say it though. She instead let Maya's words hang in the air instead opting to lean forward and kiss her cheek. She could feel the wrinkle of Maya's nose as it scrunched.
Maya's hand fisted her hand again. It was rough and out of nowhere and it made her whimper. Her eyes squeezed harder but she wasn’t against the feeling.
“Duckling,” Maya started. Her lips began kissing her jaw and down her neck. Riley listened to the cars zooming past on the road and it only made her blood pump faster from the ghosting of Maya's lips. “Why…have you stayed?” She asks.
“Why…would I leave?” Riley asks back. Maya's hand loosened, she hummed against Riley’s neck and she felt the vibrations. “I won’t…ever leave you.”
“There’s more, isn’t there?”
“There’s always been more,” she whispered. She opened her eyes to move to look into Mayas. She gently brought her hands up to cup the girls face. “You might…not get scared,” she said knowing full well maya did, “but I-I’m terrified.”
“Of me?” She asked fearfully.
Riley wanted to cry because no, never. She could hear the question hanging in the air. The one asking if Riley was afraid Maya was her forever. But Riley was afraid Maya wasn’t. So much of her had faith that Maya would be hers, it was the running she was afraid of.
“Of not you,” she forced out. It hurt to say. Strained her throat to get out. Maya didn’t move though, with the impending doom above them she didn’t try to twist herself out from under Riley to leave. She sat her hands firmer on Riley’s body. “I-I see you,” she started in a meek whisper, “I’ve seen you leave friends because you're scared. Because- you're afraid of getting too close, getting hurt and…I don’t wanna be that. The leftovers, the leaving behind.”
“Duck-“
“No, I-I can’t,” she cried lightly. “You have to understand this- saying this terrifies me. It scares me because I know the more I say the more it makes you feel and the closer you get to running. It’s why you haven’t said my name, why I haven't said yours and-“ Riley cut herself off with a deep breathe, “I can’t be without you because it feels so right, I need it to be right, once I see the colors I can’t unsee them, I can’t be left overwhelmed and alone and-“
“I’ll say it,” Maya rushed out. It made Riley’s eyes bug out of her head. “I’ll say it right now and I won’t run. I-I won’t- I god,” Maya took a deep breath trying to get her words together. Her eyes frantically searched Riley’s for something to say. “You…I feel this…thing,” she started lowly, “where it’s always felt right.”
Riley understood. She understood more than anything. It’s why she hadn’t said it. Why she hasn't tried because again, she needed Maya.
“You know what I’m afraid of?” Maya asks. Riley shook her head no and the girl chuckled. “It not…being you. You sound so certain duckling it’s me but, I simply don’t deserve you.”
“You deserve everything in the world,” Riley said without hesitation. It made Maya smile white looking down in almost a shy manner, it was so far from her persona she usually wore.
“I’m not good. I-I fight and I get detentions and suspensions. I spray paint things I shouldn’t and I do things I shouldn’t. Honey I-I’m not good enough. Im so bad and your parents, god your parents are perfect and your perfect and I’m a disaster trying to get by and not talk to anyone because half the time people make me want to slam there heads into lockers. I’m tainted, I shouldn’t be allowed to have you.”
“Taint me,” Riley whispered. It had Maya's eyes widening and she’s sure there was a joke somewhere Riley wasn’t getting in Maya's head. “If impurity is what I need for you to stay then god, peaches, make me impure.”
“Fuck.”
Riley giggled, leaning forward to bump her head with Mayas. Maya's hands gripped tighter on her. Her nails scratched up and down her leg.
“I’ve…always thought, having you and no color was better than having color and no you. I just…I want you peaches. Whatever that is, whatever I-I need to do I can. I just- please don’t leave me.”
A tear slipped down Maya's cheek. Riley’s thumb came up gently, swiping it away. Maya was scared, deeply scared whether she would voice it or not.
Riley was terrified and she would scream it from the rooftops. Maybe she should backtrack, maybe she should never say it and they should just live in there black and white world together forever. Who needed to know for sure, they didn’t need that.
“I won’t ever leave you, I’ve never wanted to leave you no matter how much I used to try. How much I hated myself for not being able to slip away like the others.”
Riley closed her eyes. She breathed slowly. She leant forward brushing there lips and Maya closed the gap softly together. It was gently and sweet and Riley clung to it like air. If this was all she got before nothing she needed to save it forever. Maybe even die like this if she could. If the moment could be her forever she would take it.
“Can we…do it at the same time?” Maya asks.
“Are you sure?” Riley asks, opening her eyes looking into Mayas. The older girl hummed, squeezing her leg softly. “I-I need you to promise, promise me peaches.” She looked down at her hand, an idea striking her. “Ring power,” she whispered.
Maya grinned. She leaned toward kissing her with a hum. “I promise, ring power,” she said, nodding. “On three ok?”
“Ok.”
Riley was shaking in Maya's lap. Holding her face was all she could do to keep herself grounded. She stared into her eyes trying to pull what blue could look like. She remembered people talking about it. Blue was the ocean, was the sky.”
“One,” Maya whispered. She brought there hands up to her lips kissing the back of Riley’s hands.
“Two,” they said together.
“Three.”
“Riley.”
“Maya.”
Her eyes widened. Light flooded in in such a different way. The world flickered bright and colorful and blue. Blue right in front of her. Blue eyes that were the most beautiful thing.
She laughed. Smiling. Maya lurched forward kissing her hard, so hard with so much force she almost tumbled backwards if it wasn’t for the right hold they both had on each other.
They kissed and kissed and kissed and Riley thought about blue. About Maya's eyes and the color of the ocean and how she wanted to look at them again, stare at them forever.
They pulled back, breathing rapidly trying to catch there breath. Tears streamed down there faces and Riley was in awe.
“You…your mine,” Maya whispered in awe. She looked at Riley like she was everything and Riley felt it in her chest. Maya was staying. She could feel it, she knew it. Maya was staying and Maya was her and god, she began to look around.
There eyes flickered over the bricks of the school building and the trees and plants and the grass. They watched cars surge past on the road next to them.
Riley looked back at her, her eyes flickered from the sky to Maya's eyes and she thought they had it all wrong. Maya's eyes, blue eyes, that deep blue that had her heart thumping and thumping so loud, was something extraordinary. It didn’t match the blue of the sky or come close to it.
She felt like she came in looking at the most beautiful color she ever could and that was something she never wanted to change.
“Don’t leave me,” she whispered. Maya looked at her, bringing her hand up to her lips once again but this time she kissed the ring atop of Riley’s finger.
“I promised. I never will, I’m staying right here.”
She never thought she could have both. Maya Hart and color, god that was a sight.