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You were an oiran from Inazuma, sent to Liyue to do work overseas to make more capital for the business owner. The headmaster of the tea house you had worked for told you it would be a perfect idea for an Inazuman woman such as yourself, to be selling love in Liyue due to the travel ban. You would be vied for by foreigners due to your ‘exoticism’, as he had put it. He had paid a large sum of money to smuggle you across the boats to go to Liyue.
You were thankful to have a possible life overseas, for a chance to experience a new culture altogether, gone and away from Inazuma. However, you would have enjoyed your experience as a newcomer in Liyue if you had known anything about the Liyue language and culture.
Culture shock hit you hard, especially because you had been given no prior training otherwise to learn the Liyue language, something uncommon among oiran who had usually been known to be able to charm customers through conversing. Fresh off the boat, people treated you as though you were stupid, with no one to guide you around to the inn you had been told to settled in. It was a harsh environment, and at some point, you felt as though people wanted to eat you alive, just for existing in Liyue. Everything scared you, and you found yourself jumping at the slightest rise in intonation of people's voices.
Nevertheless, having no proper language teacher didn’t stop you from trying your best at your job. With your translation book, you manage to navigate your way out of the heart of Liyue, only to find yourself lost on a winding road with no one to help you. Despite this, you believed in yourself.
Willing yourself forward, you march down the road, hoping to find the place called ‘Wangshu Inn’ if you continue onwards. By the time the sun begins to set, you find that you are getting closer to a large building off to the distance, and with high hopes, you begin to trudge your way towards it, carrying your heavy luggage behind you as you pull yourself forward.
You think you are fine until a group of monsters begin to gather around you. Your heart pulses as you eye the masked, strange looking figures circling you, speaking in a tongue you weren’t quite familiar with. You understood that these creatures were far from human, especially with the way they had been built, with strange, claw like hands. You’ve heard rumors throughout your life in Inazuma, of monsters living outside the main city, however you were far too sheltered and far too busy of a child to ever explore further than Chinju Forest.
You had never come across monsters before, and coming face to face with them now, and in an unfamiliar place such as Liyue, you felt nervous. Feeling panic overwhelm you, you crouch on the floor, unsure as they begin to near you one step at a time, and you scream in hopes that someone would help you.
Holding your arms over your head, making sure to duck your head, you wait for what feels like forever for something to happen until you hear scattered growls echo from around you. You hear a pair of footsteps approach you when the growls disappear, and when you look up with wide eyes, you find yourself gazing into a pair of honey colored irises.
You gasp, his green colored hair gleaming in the light of the sun as it sets, casting a heavenly glow on one side of his features. His expression is calm, almost unfazed when he stops just in front of you, eying you from your crouched position.
You think he looks beautiful. He might have just been the most handsome person you’ve ever come across. Pressing your hands to your chest, you slowly rise, still in a daze from his beauty until he begins to speak to you.
You don’t understand what he’s saying, and it takes you a second to register his lingo in your mind. He had been speaking in the native language of Liyue. You look around you, remembering that you had been surrounded earlier, and let out a soft sigh of relief when you realize that they had quite literally disappeared. Perhaps this man had shooed them off for you.
Thankful, you kneel on the floor and press the palms of your hands firmly on the floor before you, bowing to him as he had just saved your life. He makes a strange noise, sounding unsure of what you were doing. “Thank you,” you say in his language, hoping you hadn’t screwed up any of the syllables when they left your mouth.
Looking back up at him now, you see that there is an odd expression on his face, as though he had been confused. You flush, embarrassed as you rise from your position, patting off the dirt from your yukata as you keep a firm gaze on him. “I, um,” you begin, speaking in your own dialect before continuing, “I don’t know how to speak Liyuen,” you look at him pleadingly, hoping he would understand you despite the clear language barrier.
The man gazes at you, dumbfounded, blinking twice as he furrows his feathered brows downwards, and then he finally pieces it together.
Ah, he thinks with a soft sigh, you weren’t from here.
Xiao struggles for a moment, gazing down at the path you had come from, looking at your luggage and then looking back at your despair ridden expression. “I suppose you’re trying to go to Wangshu Inn then?” He inquires, folding his arms as he pulls his lips into a thin line.
Your attention is piqued at the mention of ‘Wangshu Inn’, and immediately, you nod a couple times, elated that he had come to understand you. You turn around and grab your luggage bag, swiveling over once again to stare back at him with a small smile playing on your lips. Finally, you thought, someone helpful! Everyone you had met so far had been quite rude to you, or dismissive.
The dark haired male looks at you for a moment, scanning your physique before humming. Your smile wavers since he looks as though he had been thinking about something, and you feel insecurity build within you as a silence overwhelms the two of you. You clutch your luggage tightly, a smile on your face as you bow towards him once more, grateful for what he had to offer before you try to walk past him.
The man says something that causes you to halt in your steps, and you turn to look at him once more, your gaze inquisitive as you eye him carefully. He’s speaking again, though he seems more understanding about the fact that you don’t get what he’s saying. He holds his pale arms out towards you, and only then do you notice that his garment is different from what you had seen others wear commonly in Liyue.
Not paying heed to your thoughts, you tilt your head at him, unsure of what he had wanted. Did he want a hug? Not that you would have minded, he did save your life after all. You toss him a small smile before leaning towards him, pressing your head on his chest, and he stumbles backwards when you wrap an arm around him.
Xiao feels extremely uncomfortable, and he shows it when he clicks his tongue ever so slightly, displeased when the skin of your hand comes into contact with his own. You flinch away, unsure, and you find that his honey colored irises are narrowed down onto you, looking tense before he finally finds himself relaxing.
You let out a yelp when you find yourself suddenly swept off your feet, being carried bridal style now. The man says something else, looking at you expectantly before he suddenly turns around.
And before you know it, you’re soaring in the skies.
It feels like a dream, you’re a couple meters off the ground, and it feels like you’re something like a bird for a moment, flying free, gliding with the winds, and when gravity hits, you scream. You grab onto the man before you, kicking and wailing in panic as you begin to descend towards the ground, and you hear him say something again just before his feet meet the floor.
Then, a split second later, you’re back in the sky. You look up at the stoic faced male in disbelief, your eyes trailing along the red makeup around his eyes before settling on the strange diamond shaped mark on his forehead. There was no way he was human, being able to leap from the floor up to this height.
Even so, you found him extremely attractive. Your heart pounded at the sight of him, and you found yourself slowly flushing red. After a few seconds, you find yourself by the entrance of the large building you had spotted that had been miles ahead. Shocked when he places you back down to stand on your own feet, you stare at him, gawking despite his impassive expression.
And then you realize with exasperation, “My bag,” you look around you, looking for any signs of your luggage. You choke on your own breath when you find nothing, and when you turn around to face the dark haired male, he notes your panicked behavior. He says something to you again, and then he disappears into a wisp of black and green.
Mortified, you gasp, unsure of what had just happened. What was going on? Was he a vision wielder? Is that why he could do all these amazing things? Or was he like Narukami, someone of divinity? By the time you come to a conclusion, he had come back with your luggage, materializing in front of you as though this had been something completely natural.
You smile up at him, bowing once more, as you repeat your words from earlier, “Thank you.”
When you look back up, he’s gone without a single trace.
You feel your heart pound in your chest.
The following few days, you study hard on the Liyuen dialect, reading book after book and then going to work to learn from person to person. Work had been rough, the language barrier still affected your customers and your services towards them. It had gotten to the point where sometimes, your actions would be reduced to simple nods and small gestures of happiness.
Nonetheless, business was flowing, and you couldn’t help but feel lonely under the moonlight during long nights. You were, essentially, alone in this country, with no one you knew. To talk to people in Inazuma, you had to write letters, and they had to be checked through customs due to the strict regulations over the country at the moment.
Some incredibly late nights, after work, you would sit at the windowsill, peering out at the beautiful view that Liyue had to offer. You drowned your emptiness away during short tea ceremonies, ignoring the loneliness that only seemed to grow with time, and at some point, you started to wonder if you could handle this life.
Having nobody to talk to, having no friends, no family, no sense of comfort and safety outside of the covers of your bed– you began to think that you were losing it. One particular night, you decide to go to the roof, and there, you see a familiar face.
The man who had saved you earlier, you thought as you gazed at his back while he was up on a tree. He began to play with what looked like an emerald wisp, floating around and about him. You think to approach him, but you understand from his demeanor that he was simply relaxing, and who were you to intrude on that peaceful sensation?
You opt to watch him from afar, your heart beating steadily in your chest, and for a moment, you forget about your loneliness. Looking at him from where he sits, and from where you stand, you realize you’ve found some sort of solace within yourself, a comfort that blooms in your chest and spreads to the darkest recesses of your mind.
You repeat this for countless nights. After work, you go visit him and just sit in silence. He never acknowledges you, or pays you any mind, and if he had ever come to realize your existence behind him, he had done a great job at ignoring you.
You don’t mind. You were content with just this, and you couldn’t ask for more from him.
Months start to pass, seasons come and go, and your business is booming. Your Liyuen had significantly improved, but the loneliness within you had begun to swallow you whole. It was difficult, making friends, to say the least, and if you had to be quite honest with yourself, you never thought you’d have to go through the whole process of making friends anew. You had been content with your small group of friends back in Inazuma, and hadn’t sought out any further than you had with them, because to you, they were just… enough.
The friends you make in Liyue are much more like acquaintances. Occasionally, your friends and yourself would delve a little past work and how your day was going, sometimes you’d talk about your life back in Inazuma, but that was ever all it was. Thus, the hole within you only became larger.
And it has begun to take a toll on your work. Flooding your nights with stranger after stranger, you found yourself growing tired and quickly at that. Your body sold higher and higher as a result of you learning to please customers better through romantic tongues, and through sultry words you had started to learn.
However, you found yourself gradually craving for more. Night after night, a presence grew from the back of your mind, watching the male with dark hair always on his perch from afar, and before you knew it, you realized one day, while you were making love to another man, that you had grown a taste for whoever that mysterious man was.
And you desperately craved for it, craved for him, to touch him, to hold him, to feel him. It felt wrong to crave him, because to you, he was something so beautiful, so untouchable. You wondered if he would ever accept someone like you, someone so impure, having been through one person after another. Even so, your heart beats strongly only for him.
It hurt your chest, how your heart pounded against your ribcage at the sight of him.
One day, you decide to test the waters. Feeling bold after a few drinks down your throat, you find him outside, and approach him without grace. When he turns to look at you, your face is flushed, and your gait is broken, as though you had a hard time just staying standing. Xiao looks alarmed by your sudden entry, and immediately, when you’re about to fall over, he catches you.
Your mind is hazy, but your words come out clear, as you had wanted them to, as you had rehearsed them to. “I can give you love for free,” your voice is saccharine, filled with a poisonous honey you hope could pierce him, “please, spend a night with me.” His eyes are wide, and when you smell him, you think he smells attractive, like flowers and oak.
Feeling his body on yours, you come to understand that this was not just lust. You had become infatuated with him. Your body blazes where your skin meets his, and where his hands are, your skin scorches, as though his touch were fire.
Xiao tosses you a confused look, his expression perplexed until he realizes what clothes you had been wearing. So you had been an escort, he thinks before looking back up at your debauched features. Xiao looks up at you, his gaze earnest as he pulls away from you slowly, and it pains you to feel his hands leave you.
Xiao shakes his head, refusing to say any more than that, and at his refusal, you find yourself begging. “Please,” you plead, taking a step forward as your face grows hot, tears stinging the corners of your eyes, “I want you to take me far away,” you whisper, your eyes wide, and it’s only then that Xiao notices the darkness that had grown within you, eating you up. “Just, let me have a night with you,” you start again, your tone dripping in despair, “I just need to forget–!”
Images flash in your mind, the thousands of men you had slept with ringing throughout your mind. And then you stop, your hands freezing midair when you go to reach him as tears begin to stream down your face.
Xiao is gone.
Your shoulders slump in defeat as realization settles within the pits of your stomach. He had left you. A numbness overcomes you, and your tears stop falling from your eyes.
You should’ve expected this.
Every night since then, you find yourself coming back to that same spot, gazing out at the scenery and drinking every detail from the view. You etched it into the corners of your mind, all alone.
He had never reappeared since then.
So you supposed, you’d have to make do with whatever peace you had left to offer yourself.
Lost in your thoughts, you don’t notice the figure above you, hidden neatly in a brush of leaves.
You’d be fine, you think. As winter approaches, the nights become longer, though you figure that winter in Liyue was nowhere near as freezing cold as Inazuma. You chase day after day, spending your nights with strangers for money, until you realize your customers have significantly gone down in numbers.
One day, you receive a complaint.
You had lost your shine, apparently, and were now becoming lackluster, even to your customers. Your thick layers of skin you had worn for work had slowly peeled back, until it was just you showing. You hadn’t noticed it. You had been too busy figuring out your own inner workings, too busy trying to find that solace you had lost in empty nights at the rooftop.
That day, when you come home after work, you don’t bother changing out of your clothes. You don’t bother wiping off your makeup, you don’t care to fix your hair, you simply step outside and embrace the frigid night air when it hits your skin. Looking off into the distance from the rooftop, you find yourself slowly breaking apart.
You were unsure how to go about with things here, and it wasn’t like you could just go home. This was your job. They had sent you here , and you had signed up to be an oiran at a young age. You remember vaguely, when you look at the tips of your fingers, the callouses you had gained during your younger years by practicing the shamisen. You remember cutting your fingers on thorns of wild roses while you practiced flower arrangements.
You let out a shaky breath into the cold night, unaware of the tears that had spilled forth from the corners of your eyes. When you come back to reality, you realize you’re whimpering, letting out soft sobs from your cracked lips as tears blur your vision and fall from your eyes. Leaning on the railing around the rooftop, you let yourself just cry.
You couldn’t stop yourself, no, the dam had been broken a long time ago. You had just held back whatever you could with the last bits of your mental strength, and after today’s complaint, you simply couldn’t help yourself anymore.
You sob for what feels like a couple minutes, your mind turning empty as you cry into the night, letting the light of the moon comfort you as you fall to your knees after some time. You were desperate. Desperate to feel anything, to have anything good, but more importantly, you missed his back. You missed staring at the boy with dark hair, you missed admiring him from afar while he played with wisps.
You would do anything to be near him again.
From behind you, there’s a distant, familiar ringing. You slowly swivel around, turning to face the source of the noise. Honey colored irises meet your own, and you simply gawk at him, your heart trembling at the sight of him standing just a few feet away from you.
Xiao’s features soften, noticing your tear stained face.
Your heart clenches, and before you can stop yourself, you begin to speak again after standing up. “I can give you love for free,” you whisper, your voice cracking from how dry your throat has become from sob after sob. “I just want to feel… free, ” you whisper as you back into the railing behind you, “I’m sick of it here, sick of being alone, I’m sick of doing this work, selling my body,” you don’t understand what’s overcome you, and words just spill out of you one after another.
“...Then quit it,” the dark haired male replies, his eyes narrowing onto yours as he crosses his arms, his lips pulling into a small frown as he approaches the spot next to you.
It brings you happiness, being able to hear his voice, being able to understand him, being able to converse with him, but that happiness is quickly overshadowed by the weight of his words on your mind.
“...I can’t,” you softly reply, your voice shaky as you continue, “I chose this job. I’m here to work, I need the money.”
You’re surprised by how Xiao doesn’t seem to understand your concerns. “You humans are such complicated beings,” his tone is dismissive, as though you had said something that irked him, “if you dislike it so much, then do something about it. Change it,” his words bring to you an understanding that perhaps, you had been right about him being not human, though you don’t care to expand on that thought.
You’re still drowning in your woes, and his words bring you no comfort, “It’s a lot harder than you think,” you begin, your voice void of any emotion, having been drained now, “and being all alone in this country doesn’t help.”
The Yaksha pauses for a moment, his lips pressing into a firm line before he responds, “The aspect of loneliness is one I can understand all too well, perhaps more than you ever will.” His words are lost on you, however. In your mind, you’re stuck in a loop, tirelessly repeating images of your customers in your head, despite your desperate attempts to forget them entirely.
A period of silence passes as you attempt to regain bearing of yourself, wiping away tears from your tired features as you look inwards, towards the doors leading back into the Wangshu Inn. A part of you thinks it's better to retreat back to your bedroom, but your heart felt calmer knowing the mysterious man had been back, no matter how callous he had presented himself.
You wonder why his cold exterior brought you a sense of comfort, even at a time like this, where you needed warmth the most. Perhaps you had grown used to simply burying all your worries in the night, shared with other men, getting lost in carnal pleasures. Having someone here for once, just to listen, just to be there, to just exist meant a lot to you right now. Giving yourself time, you merely lean on the railing, soaking in his presence as he stares off into the distance.
“How’d you know I was here?” You start, your voice detached from yourself as you gaze into the warm lights of Wangshu Inn.
“You’re always here,” Xiao replies, his tone coming out rather fondly, “around this time at night, watching me from afar,” at his words, you feel your face slowly flush red.
He had known? You quickly swivel your head to look at him, hoping to mask your face with the sleeve of your yukata, your eyes finding the side of his face as it bathes in the light of the moon. You had hoped to be a little more discreet , though you supposed at some point, you must’ve slipped up and failed. “I-I’m sorry,” you apologize, bowing your head towards him, “I hope I wasn’t such a bother,” you straighten yourself out, only to find his honey irises on you. You fret with the edges of the sleeves of your yukata, “I just admire your back, is all. I feel… safe looking at it.”
Xiao lets out a soft scoff, turning to face you with a scowl, “How strange,” you feel a pinprick of pain in your chest at his words, “though I suppose it should come as no surprise. It’s my job as an Adeptus to protect the people residing in Liyue.”
Your breath hitches in your throat uncomfortably. You’ve heard of stories of the adepti, and the several gods that have come and go within Liyue. You didn’t care to look much further than that, but you knew that they were supreme beings. Definitely nothing mortal like yourself. Meeting his gaze, you come to an understanding with yourself. You didn’t really care if he was human or not, you just enjoyed his presence. You relished being under his gaze, despite how blank it had felt, despite how intimidating he had come off to you.
When his irises avert from your own, and for a moment, you can see him thinking about something. “You’re calmed down now,” he starts, almost sounding hesitant, “I can’t give you the love you want, I’m incapable of such a thing,” Xiao turns to look at you once more, “but on your painful nights like these, call my name, Xiao,” your heart stutters in your chest when you hear his name leave his mouth. You pretend to keep calm, despite the growing warmth in your chest, waiting for him to continue.
“I’ll be here,” Xiao finally says, “just call my name.”
You think you might cry again, hearing those words from him. You feel as though a load of weight had been lifted off your shoulders at his proposition, and for the first time in a long time, you felt… alright. You felt like you could breathe a little easier, knowing someone was willing to spend some time with you. It made you feel better, knowing you had someone you could reach out to.
You feel as though your craving for him had been quenched with his words, feeling as though you had gotten a taste of him just from the kindness he showed you alone. Your features soften slowly, the hurt in your chest alleviating with every passing second as you smile up at him gratefully. Warmth bloomed from your chest and spread to every cell of your body, flowing to the very ends of your fingertips as you shut your eyes, allowing yourself to sink into this moment.
He was giving you the safety net you had needed, the space for yourself in a land so foreign to you. You had grown accustomed to sinking away in the depths of your mind, spending nights with different men, but you thought that this in itself was just fine. A healthier alternative, much like talking to a friend, or speaking to a stranger about your troubles.
Content with yourself, you bow to him once more, “Thank you, Xiao, ” when you raise your head, you allow a warm smile on your lips, your eyes still puffy having cried earlier, “I find myself always being indebted to you one way or another. I don’t know how else to repay you,” you brush back loose strands of hair away from your face, your eyes trailing away from him for a second as your eyes grow interested in the lacquered wood railings next to you. “However, if you ever need something as well,” you swivel around in your spot, turning to face the beautiful outdoor scenery of Liyue once more, “be sure to tell me. I’ll do my best to do it, if it’s for you.”
You don’t bother hiding the flirtatiousness in your tone. You were infatuated with him, and you did want to let him know, though he doesn’t seem fazed in the slightest by your reaction. The two of you remain silent as you watch the sun slowly rise, and by the time the sun has completely risen over the horizon, you look next to you, only to find that Xiao is gone.
You smiled at the nothingness next to you, a strange calm overwhelming you despite his lack of presence.
You hoped one of these days, you could get to know him a little better. Bit by bit, you wanted to learn more about him since you had held him in a high regard. When the night disappears from the sky, you return to your bedroom, and drift off into a peaceful dream, unknowing of the vigilant Yaksha that had kept an eye on you from afar.