Chapter Text
The days leading up to New Year's day had been rather uneventful. Mikado worked at the bookstore most of the week, only stopping into the office once to help Hiyakawa with paperwork. Well, that was what he had been told they were doing at least. Instead, when he got there, Mukae, Erika, and Sakaki were waiting for him.
“Yo, Mikado,” Mukae raised a hand in greeting as Mikado reluctantly closed the door behind him. “We may have negotiated with Hiyakawa to let us know when you'd be in, but you do have work to do so we'll get right to the point. C'mere and sit down for a minute.”
Negotiated...? Mikado noticed that the tree was gone and most of the other decorations had been taken down. He glanced over at Hiyakawa. The older man was sitting at his desk with a pile of candy canes sitting in front of him, one already in his mouth. Mikado sighed and plunked down in the couch beside Mukae while Sakaki and Erika were seated opposite them. “What are you guys up to this time...?
“Same as last time,” Erika informed him, placing a notebook on the coffee table in front of him. “We planned out everything we'd do at the festival. Keita-kun said that it's pretty much always the same, so it should work out okay.”
Mikado hesitated before reaching out to take the notebook. Opening the cover he couldn't help but feel guilty. Mukae had drawn a basic idea of where the best vendors would be and even had some escape plans if things got too crowded. There were places marked where they could take a break and even the most likely time the shrine would be the least busy so they could do their first visit of the year together. His heart grew heavy with each page that he turned.
“Looks good, right?” Mukae questioned. “Since Hiyakawa doesn't like crowds and you were looking a little pale after we mentioned the festival, I thought working things out like this might give the two of you the shove you'd need to come along. What d'you think?”
“It...” Mikado clenched his jaw and tightened the grip he had on the book. “It does look good, but... I... I don't think I'm ready...” he murmured, voice trembling slightly. “You worked so hard on this, too...”
Erika stared at him, leaning forward. “Kousuke-kun? Don't you want to go to the festival with us? I thought it was just Rihito-kun that didn't. Come on-- if you agree to go, Rihito-kun will definitely change his mind so--”
“Maybe next year...”
“Next year? But this will be the first one we can all enjoy together! I don't know about you, but I haven't been to the festival since I was a little kid. I don't even remember it. When I asked Rihito-kun earlier, he said he'd never gone to one because he didn't need to. Please, Kousuke-kun...?” Erika fixed him with her best pleading gaze, her hands held tight together on her knees. She wanted it to be like their Christmas party-- something that was a true first for most of them to enjoy together.
Mikado could feel his heart beat painfully in his chest as he looked from one expectant face to the other. Sakaki raised a brow at him, as though challenging the thought that he could possibly say no after everything they'd prepared. Mukae was more reserved, but it was easy to tell he was expecting a favourable answer, too. Maybe he should just tell them he--
“I let you ask him, now you need to go.” Hiyakawa had stood up from his desk and removed the candy cane from his mouth. He leaned forward with his left hand pressed firmly against the surface of the desk. His eyes were cold as Mukae and the others glanced over at him. “We have work to do. Please leave now.”
“Aw, c'mon. At least let him give us an answer,” Mukae argued. He didn't understand what the big deal was in all of them going to the festival together. Mikado was already acting strange, but it was surprising to see the sudden change in Hiyakawa's attitude.
Hiyakawa's eyes shifted to Mikado, the only one that hadn't moved. “I don't want to go to the festival and... Mikado-kun said he would stay with me while you were gone. Then we would go see fireworks together. Those were the plans we made before.”
“Well... that was before we made the plan of attack,” Erika insisted. “Even you said it might not be so bad if we stuck to it...” she glanced over at Mikado. He was staring at the book with a pained expression, hands trembling. He looked almost sick. “Oh. I get it...” Erika placed a finger on her chin. “You and Kousuke-kun just want to spend most of the day together alone, don't you? That's why you don't want to come.”
“...Sounds about right,” Sakaki nodded to himself. “Couples usually wanna spend New Year's together, don't they? Especially their first one.”
Mukae started to open his mouth, but paused as he noticed the way Erika and Sakaki's faces had softened. They weren't going to argue about it anymore. “Ahh, so that's what this is all about. Guess it can't be helped. We'll just have to party together after the fireworks, then. You don't mind if we all stay over to see the sunrise, do you?”
“You... want to stay here?” Hiyakawa stood up straight. He wasn't especially keen on the idea, but they had compromised and Mikado often told him meeting others half-way was very important. He sighed. “...That should be fine.”
“Great! We'll see you guys again on New Year's Eve.” Mukae moved to take the notebook from Mikado, but stopped as he finally took in his expression. “We'll keep the notebook here so you can let us know what kind of snacks you want us to bring back.” Mukae glanced back over at Erika and Sakaki. The three of them nodded to each other and stood up to leave.
Erika gave Hiyakawa a light wave, a thin smile lining her face. “Good luck with your work today, guys. See you later.”
After they left, Hiyakawa turned his attention back to Mikado. He put the candy cane down on his desk and silently walked over to him. Hiyakawa reached out a hand, his fingers barely brushing against Mikado's shoulder. He jumped in response and quickly got up, placing the notebook on the coffee table.
“...Kousuke-kun--”
“I-I'll make the tea,” Mikado stated quickly, moving out of reach as Hiyakawa tried to take hold of his arm. “You said we have a lot to do, so... we should get to it.”
Hiyakawa frowned. He placed his right hand over the bracelet that joined him and Mikado. The pulse against his wrist was frantic, but not in the same way it had been when the two spent time alone during Christmas. It was almost heavy, the same feeling he'd get when Mikado was terrified. His eyes shifted to where Mikado was preparing the tea. Mikado's hands were still trembling.
Suddenly frustrated, Hiyakawa strode over to his boyfriend. He carefully placed a hand on Mikado's shoulder. Before he could get a chance to get a proper grip on him to enter his soul, Mikado pushed his arm away as he spun around to face Hiyakawa.
“Don't,” Mikado said firmly, voice rough. He didn't want to be forced into an interrogation after already going through such a stressful situation. If explaining why he didn't want to go to the festival had been so easy, he would have told them all instead of avoiding the subject. Although, when he noticed the hurt in Hiyakawa's eyes, Mikado instantly regretted his tone. “Ah...” His brows creased and he placed a hand over his mouth. “I-I'm... sorry,” he stammered, averting his gaze.
Hiyakawa was quiet, equally hurt and surprised by Mikado's reaction. Something was clearly wrong, but he didn't want a second rejection if he reached out again. Instead, he turned and walked back to his desk to gather up the paperwork he had for Mikado to file.
Mikado took a hesitant step toward the desk, unsure of what to say. He hadn't meant to hurt Hiyakawa, but he also didn't want to explain why he snapped at him. Not yet, at least. Not when his heart was still racing and he could hardly keep his hands steady. But, he reasoned with himself, he didn't want there to be a barrier between them either.
As he was about to open his mouth to speak, Hiyakawa walked the papers and files to the coffee table and set them down before returning to sit at his desk. He opened his laptop and began typing. Mikado could feel a tightness in his chest at the silence overcoming the room. He stared at Hiyakawa for a moment before retrieving the tea and brought it over to carefully set on the desk.
“...Rihito-san,” he began, voice soft. “I'm sorry for snapping at you. I'll... answer your questions later, okay? Just... not today.”
Hiyakawa paused. “On New Year's Eve, while the others are at the festival.”
“...What?”
“I want you to tell me then.” His eyes flicked up to meet Mikado's.
“Right... yeah. I promise I'll tell you then.” Mikado nodded, though he felt uneasy. It was a memory he would sooner forget rather than tell, but it would be okay. He walked over to sit down on the couch and began shifting through the mound of papers. It would... probably be okay.