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He‘s hurting, his entire body shaking, his skin itching, burning, aching. It‘s as if a window had shattered into thousands of pieces, its glass cutting through his arms- No, his arm. He can feel his right hand crumbling, practically rotting away right in front of him while he‘s staring at it in disbelief.
This can‘t be happening.
His senses feel blurred all of a sudden, as if someone had put a noise filter over them. His eyes are losing focus, the hazy veil dropping back in front of him, making him feel dizzy, lost even. He‘s never felt so weak before, all that power taken from him – nothing‘s left behind, except for a fragile, sobbing man full of regret. The grief in his soul cruelly proves he‘s human again, a deep sorrow sitting on top of him with a tremendous weight. He‘s seized by smothered memories, now unfolding themselves into limbless monsters of pain.
Racked with guilt, a wave of emotions washes over him, engulfs him, overwhelms him. The remorse tightens around his neck like a noose. It‘s too much, he‘s breaking, he’s falling apart, he‘s—
Suddenly, the piercing cold is gone. Connors lifts his head in surprise, when he feels the strong fabric being wrapped around his shoulders, to see where the pleasant feeling of warmth is coming from. It‘s Octavius‘ coat, he figures.
He looks into the fellow doctor‘s soothing face, with his kind eyes and that warm smile. The look he gives him is compassionate, as if to say he understands what he‘s going through, and the gentle hand on his back affirms that.
"It‘s okay, it‘s over now," he says and Connors can‘t help but tear up. He wishes it was.
He knows he‘s done nothing to deserve this kindness, so he simply examines the other man, eyes watering again, practically overflowing with gratitude.
Octavius‘ presence and comfort feels like a flame leaping up in a dark room, a soft light, damaged and bruised, but a little light all the same. And for a moment, it seems like they are holding onto each other, as if that‘s the only way to stop them from being swept into the chaos surrounding them.