Archive of Our Own

In the five years that Harry's been living in Seattle, he's learned a few things.

One, it never stops raining. Really. He’d thought that had been a movie thing, but the collection of rain jackets that he’s built up over the years begs to differ.

Two, Starbucks coffee doesn’t taste the same after you’ve had at least three cups a day almost every day. At this point, he’s considering just buying his own coffee machine and Starbucks beans to make his own coffee. He’d definitely save money.

Three, it’s a great place to be single in. Technically, Harry lives in Greenwood, but it’s only a ten minute drive from downtown proper, where all the bars and clubs are. Unfortunately, there’s one teeny tiny problem that stops him from going out every weekend and pulling, which brings him to the last point.

Elementary schools have an egregiously early start time.

Harry hadn’t exactly factored that into his schedule until he’d had to start looking into registering Dani for kindergarten. Three years later, he’s still not quite used to being woken up at 6 in the morning every weekday by his alarm blaring, or sometimes, a small child crawling all over him.

This dreary Monday morning in December, it’s the latter.

“Daddy!”

Harry squeezes his eyes shut a little bit tighter, praying against hope that somehow the little voice will go away and let him get just a few more minutes of sleep-

“Daddy!” This time it’s punctuated with a grunt of exertion and small hands prodding at his sides. “Wake up daddy, it’s time to wake up!”

With a painful groan, Harry blinks his eyes open, greeted with green eyes and a beaming smile right in his face. “You’re awake!” she shrieks. There goes his eardrums too.

“Dani, please, inside voice,” he rumbles, sleepily pushing himself up to a seated position. Surprisingly, his daughter listens, sitting back on her heels as Harry attempts to scrub the sleep out of his eyes, reaching for his glasses that lay on his bedside table. The clearer vision helps him to see the rat’s nest that Dani’s curly hair has become, which will undoubtedly take forever to detangle. Joy. “Have you brushed your teeth yet?”

Far too quickly, she nods, turning it into a slow shake of her head when Harry raises a questioning eyebrow. “That’s what I thought. Go brush your teeth and change before you come down for breakfast please.”

Looking as if he’s just told her to go to timeout, Dani slides off the bed, trudging forlornly back to her own room. For some unknown reason, she absolutely despises eating breakfast after brushing her teeth, so he decides to sweeten the deal a little.

“If you brush your teeth well - while singing your ABC’s - I’ll make pancakes for breakfast!”

Dani spins around with a pleased gasp, wide smile tearing her face apart before she runs straight to her room. Harry contemplates curling back up for a minute or two more of sleep, but he knows that they’ll end up late if he does so.

(He’s not speaking from experience, no.)

He hastily brushes his teeth and unsuccessfully attempts to tame his curls with a comb before throwing on the outfit that he’d put out last night, managing to get downstairs in time to break out the pancake mix right as Dani comes skidding into the kitchen.

“Can I help, daddy, please?” she begs, tugging at the floral button-down he’s wearing. Gently, Harry taps at her grip, and she lets go immediately, instead pouting heavily, bottom lip out and eyes wide. Lord, he’s raised a menace.

“Of course you can,” Harry says with a nod towards a bottom cabinet. “I’ll need a big mixing bowl first.”

Dani leaps into action, and between the two of them, there’s a stack of warm pancakes waiting on a plate in thirty minutes. Harry pours a small amount of maple syrup, much to Dani’s dismay, on two pancakes, sliding the plate over to his daughter. “You can add more fruit if you would like,” he says, gesturing to the bowl of strawberries. “No more syrup though.” He knows that if given the chance, she’d drown her breakfast in syrup. It’s a holdover from when she was younger, and it was more than just Harry raising her in college.

Danielle Kay Styles had been born on November 18th during Harry’s third year of college, bringing with her a whole host of conflicting emotions and a brand new set of challenges. Harry is embarrassed to say that Dani was the result of a drunk night out, where he ended up sleeping with a random girl from a club. Two months later, she’d told him that she was pregnant, and seven months after that, Harry had been a newly minted single dad.

Since the mother had wanted nothing to do with Danielle, he’d moved into family housing, and, with the help of his friends, raised her while finishing out his computational media degree. Now, five years out of college, Harry likes to think he’s got the parenting thing down.

In between bites of pancake, Harry combs through Dani’s curls, mentally cursing whoever decided to give her his own messy hair. It’s a bit of a struggle, but he manages to at least get it presentable enough for school, pulling it into a little ponytail with a scrunchie that he keeps on his wrist for this purpose. He misses the days where his own hair was long enough to put up, but he’d chopped it off when Dani was a baby and loved to yank at the long strands.

“Alright pumpkin, wash up when you’re done and then we’ll walk to school, okay?”

Dani nods in agreement, messily chewing on her pancakes, feet swinging from the barstool happily. Harry retreats back up to his bedroom to fuss with his hair a little bit more, sweeping his curls up and off his forehead. He wrinkles his nose at his slightly chipped baby blue nails, which are long overdue for a new coat. Maybe he’ll make it a session with Dani.

“Daaaaad, I’m ready!”

Even though she’s on a completely different floor, the sheer volume in which she screams manages to make Harry wince. Dani is loud, loud, and loud. “Coming!” he calls back, using his phone to check the time. 7 AM, right on time.

He heads downstairs, where Dani is waiting for him by the doorway, backpack on her shoulders and sneakers on her feet. She’s getting to the age where he hardly has to help her get ready anymore, and he’s really not sure how to feel about it. On one hand, it leaves him more time to himself, but on the other hand, she’s just growing up so fast. Harry almost misses the days where she was a pudgy little baby, hands a fraction of the size of his own and wispy hair barely curling at the ends.

Almost. He does not miss the non-stop crying or getting up at ungodly hours to feed Dani.

Luckily, there are still a few small things that she still needs help with, so it doesn’t make him feel that old. “It’s December, pumpkin, aren’t you forgetting something?”

Dani blinks at him, looking down at herself in confusion until Harry tips his head towards the hall closet. “Oh! I need a jacket?” she asks, reaching for the door handle before he can even answer.

“You do, so you don’t catch a cold, silly.” Harry slips her blue puffer off the hanger and hands it to her, allowing Dani to put it on herself. She struggles a bit with the sleeves, but manages to get both arms through, posing proudly after she does so.

“I did it!”

Harry grins back at her, sliding on his own thick peacoat. “You’re becoming such a big girl now, pumpkin. What am I gonna do when you’re all grown up and ready to leave the house?”

In a heart-melting move, Dani wraps her arms around his middle in a big hug, face right in his chest. “Love you daddy. And I’m never gonna leave!”

If only that were true. “Why thank you pumpkin. Ready to go to school now?”

With another ear splitting yell, Dani jumps up and down a few times before charging straight for the door, flinging the door open (they’ve got to work on that habit), and leaving Harry to race after her. So maybe he will be glad when she’s old enough to go on her own.

After he walks (read: holds Dani back from running) Dani to school, his morning becomes far more mundane. He does the dishes, tidies up the house, runs a load of laundry, everything that’s part of his routine as a single dad. With nobody else around to help take care of the house, Harry has had to become somewhat of a neat freak. At least his mom is proud.

It’s nearing 9 in the morning by the time he turns on his computer in his office, swapping out his regular glasses for his computer pair. For the next few hours, the house is silent, save for mouse clicks and the scratch of his stylus on the drawing pad. Harry loves his job, he does, but it can be… a little isolating at times.

The ding of a message alert on his phone pulls him out of his design headspace, stomach rumbling as he checks his phone.

Don’t forget to eat, ya bugger! I know you forget all the damn time, so I’m here to keep you from dying.

Harry huffs out in fond irritation. Niall never ceases to be a supportive friend in the most… Niall way possible. He’s constantly pushing for him to get out and go be social, to step outside of his comfort zone but is soft when he just needs a shoulder to cry on. Really, Harry couldn’t have asked for a better friend.

And, since Niall is intimately aware of his shitty eating habits - perks of having gone to the same college - he gets at least a text a day asking if he’s consumed anything, which he thinks is incredibly unnecessary. Never mind the fact that half the time he hasn’t, and that Niall’s reminder is sometimes the only thing that tears him away from his computer screen while Dani is at school.

On cue, his stomach rumbles, so he pushes away from his desk and heads to the kitchen to make himself an incredibly mediocre sandwich. He’s essentially eating his daughter’s lunch - a turkey and cheese sandwich - but with a side of raw vegetables that she typically refuses to eat. It definitely takes him back to his own school days, which he supposes he’s now replicating at his dining table. Alone.

Harry isn’t quite sure if that’s an upgrade or a downgrade.

The rest of the afternoon passes in a similarly boring fashion, time blurring by in the strokes of his pen. It’s not particularly healthy to be so wholly absorbed in his job, he knows, but if Harry dwells on the circumstances that have gotten him to this state now, he’d lose his mind. Redesigning the hundredth logo helps distract him from the human sized hole in his chest.

At 2:15, his alarm to go pick up Dani blares on his phone, nearly startling the stylus out of his hand. “Christ,” he mutters, running a hand through his already messy curls. “Get it together, Styles.” He’s usually not this absentminded or distant, but the impending holidays simply serve as a reminder of how secluded he is from society.

Somehow, Harry feels stuck in the past while the rest of the world moves on.

Standing outside of Dani’s school, he makes small talk with some of the other parents that are waiting for their children. They’re friendly enough - in the particular way that snobbish suburban parents can be - inviting him along to the neighborhood potluck they’re hosting before Christmas, with a waggle of their eyebrows when they mention that their hot, single friends will be there.

Which. Yeah. Effectively ruins any plans he had of going, really. He’s a grown man, a whole 27 years old, he can find his own partner. (Not that he wants to.)

That’s also a lie though, Harry begrudgingly admits to himself as he and Dani walk back home. Being single for the past 7 years hasn’t erased his desire to have a partner, someone he can come home to and melt into, someone to help ease his burdens. Niall tries his best, coming over most days for dinner and making attempts to drag Harry out to go socialize, but it’s not the same.

Yes, Harry Styles is painfully, disgustingly single and lonely, and there’s not a lot he can do about it.

“Daddy, can we have pizza for dinner?”

Dani’s request jolts him out of his misery-induced stupor, and he realizes they’re standing on the front step of his house. “Um, maybe, pumpkin,” he says, pulling out his key to unlock the door. “Why don’t you go wash up and I can make you a snack?”

His ever excitable daughter tears off through the open door with an excited shriek, drawing out a wince from Harry as he steps inside much more calmly. Snack first, then dinner (which will not be pizza) and then he can have a meltdown about the poor state of his social life as an adult.

If someone had asked eighteen year old Harry what he thought he’d be doing in almost ten years, taking care of a child would not be anywhere near his answer. But as he preps Dani’s favorite snack - peanut butter on carrots, the only way she’ll eat raw vegetables - he can’t help but think he really wouldn't have it any other way.

Dani is the biggest bright spot in his day, and life without her would be incredibly drab. Really, all that’s missing is a partner, and Harry knows exactly who he wants to fill that spot. Too bad they’re on the other side of the world.

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“I- no, Niall, I don’t have a babysitter, and I don’t want to find one this last minute.”

“Okay, what if I found one for you?”

Harry groans, leaning his forehead on the wooden spoon he’s using to stir the pasta sauce that’s cooking on the stovetop. Niall’s voice is echoing out of his phone’s speaker beside him, pestering him to come drinking this coming Saturday.

“Niall, you are not going to find me a babysitter for my own daughter. I will withhold this pasta from you,” he threatens, waving the spoon around even though Niall can’t see him. It’s the principle of the matter, okay?

“Oh no, not the pasta!” Niall sounds a mix between faux angry and actually concerned, eliciting a snort from Harry. “C’mon Haz, You haven’t been out in ages! I’m sure that Dani would love to have a fun night with someone who’s not her old fart of a father.”

From the other room over, he can hear Dani’s giggles accompanied by Niall’s raucous cackles that nearly blow out his phone speaker. Burying the urge to turn off the stove to go smack his best friend, Harry simply shakes his head. “I resent that statement. I do go out!”

Niall’s answering scoff is answer enough.

“Okay, I haven’t been out in a while,” Harry concedes, “But that doesn’t explain why you’re so desperate for me to go out now and on such short notice.”

The moment’s silence between them is answer enough, even when Niall immediately follows it up with, “No, there’s not any particular reason.”

“That’s a load of bullcrap.” He wrinkles his nose at the replaced curse word, but that’s part of being a parent. “There has to be a reason.”

Niall hems and haws for a few minutes more before Harry finally wheedles an answer out of him. “Okay, fine. Zayn and Liam have a friend who’s just moved into town not long ago, and they want to help him get out a little more. So really, you’re doing someone else a favor!”

Harry has to agree with him there, but something else catches his attention. “Did you say him? Who is it?”

“No clue, Haz. Just know that it’s a guy that Z works with, and apparently he’s moving back from abroad somewhere.”

“I swear, Ni, if you’re bringing me along just to try and set me up with this guy…”

“Pfft, no, I would never!”

Rolling his eyes to the high heavens, Harry lets the wooden spoon drop into the pot with a clatter, turning the stove off. It’s sweet in a way, he supposes, that Niall is actively trying so hard to improve his life. Rather shit of him not to at least try to take advantage of the opportunities that Niall is giving to him.

“Fine, I’ll come. But you better make good on that promise of a babysitter!”

The screech of excitement that Niall lets out is loud enough for him to wince again and rescind his agreement. “I promise you won’t regret it. It’ll be a night you won’t forget.”

Of that, Harry has no doubt.

And when the time to leave for the club rolls around a few days later, he still has that feeling of dread in his gut.

“Be good for Lucy, alright?” he says to Dani as he’s pulling on his jacket. “I’ll be back in a few hours.”

Dani beams up at Lucy, who’s a highschooler that Niall had somehow found in the neighborhood. She seems responsible enough, although Harry has a feeling that Dani is going to absolutely abuse her chance at freedom tonight. “Of course I’ll be good, Daddy. You’ll have nothing to worry about!”

Harry raises a doubtful eyebrow at his daughter, but opens his arms for a hug nonetheless, holding on tight. They’ve spent nights apart before, of course, but it’s been a while. It’s certainly going to be strange going out without his little personal shadow following him. When he straightens back up, he looks straight at Lucy and says, “Don’t let this little rascal take advantage of you too much. And bedtime is at 10pm the latest, okay?”

“Of course, Mr. Styles,” Lucy responds dutifully, nodding her head so hard that Harry is afraid it might snap in half. “You have nothing to worry about.”

“Oh god, please don’t call me Mr. Styles. Makes me feel about 10 years older than I actually am.” Harry wrinkles his nose and takes a step towards the door. “Thank you for doing this Lucy, I really appreciate it. Be good, pumpkin!”

They both call out goodbyes as Harry leaves his house, feeling oddly light as he gets into his car alone without having to make sure that Dani is buckled in properly or a thousand complaints about the indie music playing as he’s driving. Niall had given him the address of a downtown Seattle bar, where he’s definitely only planning on having one beer, max. He’s not a huge fan of relying on Uber on getting home.

When he pulls into the parking lot and turns the engine off, he takes a second to let himself breathe, forehead resting against the steering wheel. Harry can feel the shake in his hands that stems from the nerves of going out again, hanging around loads of other people his age. It had once been his scene, ages ago in college.

He has distinct memories of going out to frat parties every other weekend, getting drunk with his friends, and waking up painfully hungover. Tonight, none of those things are happening, and he’s still way more nervous than he has ever been.

“You got this,” mutters Harry, right before he pushes open his car door and slides out. Confidence imbues his walk up to the bar and lasts right up until the second he pushes the door open.

The blast of noise and powerful smell of alcohol nearly blows him away, unable to do anything but stand there blankly in the doorway. Someone pushes him roughly from behind, and Harry stumbles in sort of numbly. He’s really not sure how long he stands there for until there’s a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Haz?”

It’s too loud to hear who it is, so Harry turns around to see - he figures it’s Niall - and lets out some sort of strangled gasp. Standing in front of him is the one person he’s not let himself think about in years, not since they walked in separate directions after graduation and never talked to each other again.

“L-Louis?”

His first thought is fuck, he’s just as hot as I remembered, and his second thought is, goddammit, how is he supposed to survive tonight now?

Louis has a familiar wrinkle between his eyebrows that means he’s concerned for some reason, but Harry’s eyes are drawn to the skin of his collarbones. They’re exposed by a scoop neck, nearly sheer shirt that he’s wearing, legs encased in skin-tight skinny jeans. The whole outfit screams casual, not even clubbing, but Harry swears he’s never seen anything hotter.

“I… didn’t know you’d be here,” Louis says, this time barely loud enough to be heard over the thrum of the bass. “What are you doing?”

Harry fish mouths for a solid minute, too overwhelmed by everything that’s going on around him to really answer. A look of recognition passes over Louis’ face, and he tightens his grip on Harry’s shoulder (he hadn’t even noticed that it was still there), guiding them over to a quieter area at the back of the bar. With a light push, he stumbles into a booth, the impact on his ass jolting him back into focus.

“God, sorry, Lou.” He buries his head in his hands to hide the shame of being so useless in front of his ex-best friend. It’s painfully embarrassing.

“What are you sorry for?” Louis sounds genuinely confused, and when Harry peeks through his fingers, he’s got his head tilted to the side.

“For being so… unresponsive earlier.”

With a shrug of his shoulders, Louis brushes it off like it’s nothing. “Nah, it’s alright. I imagine it’s a bit of a shock to run into someone you haven’t seen since college.”

Before they can dive into that hot mess of a topic, they’re interrupted by the arrival of Niall, Liam, and Zayn, all of whom look surprised to see Harry and Louis there already. “Tommo, you’re actually early,” Liam comments, sliding into the booth next to him. “Seems like us telling you to come a half hour before actually works.”

Liam’s joke falls flat, plopping into the silence that’s befallen the rest of the group like a dead weight. Niall, Louis, and Harry are all staring at each other in shock and disbelief, Zayn watching them with one raised eyebrow. As the first one to recover, Niall flicks his gaze to Harry, opens his mouth and-

“Hey, Ni, come sit!” Harry blurts out, patting the seat next to him. He’s got a feeling that he knows exactly what Niall is going to say, and he refuses to have this conversation now. Not in front of Liam and Zayn, who look more than confused.

Without looking up, Harry can feel the hot weight of Louis’ eyes on him. He knows that he’s acting strangely, but it’s for good reasons, okay?

“So… do you guys know each other?” Zayn asks. It must be a rhetorical question on his part because there’s no way that anyone could have witnessed what just happened and thought that they were perfect strangers.

Louis nods slowly, eventually tearing away from Harry. “Yeah, we went to college together. It’s been a while since I’ve talked to Niall or Harry. Didn’t know they’d be the ones I’d be meeting today either.” That last part is said with a slight emphasis towards Liam, who throws up his hands.

“I didn’t think it was important! Niall is just the guy I know from work,” there’s a gasp of irritation from Niall, “and Harry is his friend. Apologies that I didn’t think I’d be hosting a college reunion of sorts.”

Harry cracks a smile at that, the uncomfortable feeling in his stomach slowly starting to melt away. As Louis starts to answer Zayn’s question of how they met in college (an embarrassing tale involving morning classes and never being on time), Niall rests his hand on Harry’s thigh and squeezes gently.

“You gonna be okay?” he says quietly out the side of his mouth, keeping his eyes forward. “I can make excuses for you if you need to go.”

It’s such a nice gesture from Niall, and Harry’s heart melts at it, placing his hand on top of his friend’s and squeezing back. “I’m good, Ni. Don’t worry about me.”

Niall gives him a side-eye like he knows exactly how much Harry is bullshitting, but doesn’t respond, mostly because Liam is saying, “So how did you guys split apart? Seems like you all were really good friends.”

Harry and Louis exchange matching looks of panic.

“Oh, we-”

“It was mutual-”

Both of them cut themselves off as quickly as they started, Harry swallowing awkwardly through the lump in his throat. He nods at Louis to take the lead. Even with all their time apart, he trusts that Louis will tell the story in a neutral light.

“Well, you know that I moved to Japan to teach English after college, and we just… didn’t keep in touch.” Louis shrugs, like it’s no big deal, like he hadn’t walked out of Harry’s life, leaving it shattered into pieces behind him. “No bad blood.”

Niall nods along enthusiastically, which seems to convince Liam and Zayn, although Zayn is still giving him a look that Harry’s not particularly excited about. With a glance between him and Louis, Zayn announces that he’s going to get drinks and drags Liam out of the booth with him, leaving the trio behind.

Even though they’re in a noisy bar, the silence between them is deafening.

As always, Niall is the one to break the silence, with a smile that’s definitely more forced than natural. “So… How’s it going, Louis? When did you move back?”

“I moved back maybe a month ago,” he says, keeping his gaze firmly fixed on the beat up table between them. Harry realizes that he’s embarrassed. “Decided that as much as I loved living in Japan, I wanted to be a little closer to my family. And… maybe start one of my own.”

The last part is said so quietly, Harry has to strain his ears to hear it, falling back against the booth when he processes it. Louis, starting a family. Louis, having kids of his own. Louis-

“That sounds nice,” Niall says with a pinch to Harry’s thigh, dragging him out of his thought spiral.

“Yeah, wonderful, Lou,” he mutters, earning himself another pinch from Niall and a sad smile from Louis, who’s still dutifully staring at the table. A vindictive urge zips through Harry, and he blurts out, “So were you ever planning on telling us that you were back from Japan, or were you just planning on hiding that from us?”

A strangled noise that sounds like a mix between a snort and a gasp escapes from Niall’s throat, while Louis finally jerks his head up, staring at Harry with wide eyes. The expression of shock is satisfying, but it only takes one second for the guilt to settle in. “Sorry,” Harry says, shoulders dropping from their defensive hackle. “I didn’t mean to say that.”

Louis shakes his head. “No, it’s fair. I-”

His explanation is interrupted by Zayn and Liam returning with pints in hand, conversation flowing from them and breaking the awkward tension. The rest of the night passes similarly, with Liam, Zayn, and Niall taking up the bulk of the dialogue. Louis is quieter than Harry’s ever seen him in a social situation, alternating between staring off into the crowd and into his pint in equal measure. He only speaks when Liam directs a question towards him, and even then his answers are short and bland. At least Zayn seems to pick up on the hint that he’s not really interested in talking.

Harry tries his best to keep up in the conversation, but his social skills are seriously out of practice and Louis’ surprise appearance has thrown him even more off of his game. It doesn’t help that he and Louis keep sneaking glances at each other, averting gazes the second either of them spots the other looking. There’s a desire in him to both confront Louis and avoid him in equal measures, and he’s not sure which one is going to win out. He lasts for all of two hours before he decides to call it quits.

“Sorry, lads,” he says during a momentary pause in conversation, pushing at Niall so he can get out of the booth. Niall, for some unholy reason, refuses to budge, so Harry has to bodily shove him with all of his might. The Irishman feigns injury, dramatically falling to the ground with a cry. What a drama queen. “I’ve got to get home to the missus.”

It’s a joke obviously, but Liam, Zayn, and Niall know him well enough to catch on, laughing heartily. Harry doesn’t miss the raised eyebrow Louis gives him, hiding his smile as he pulls on his jacket. Louis can stay in the dark for a little while longer yet.

“She’s a harsh taskmaster, ain’t she?” Liam snickers, a matching snort from Zayn.

Harry nods in agreement, smoothing out his jacket slightly unnecessarily to mask the slight shake in his hands. “Nice to see you all.” He hesitates for a second, then finally dares a look at Louis. The other man is staring back at him with wide eyes, a confused tilt to his head that would be cute in any other circumstance. It almost makes Harry want to clarify what he said earlier, reassure Louis that he doesn’t actually have a girlfriend, but his feet move before he can open his mouth.

He’s just made it to the door of the bar when there’s a hand tapping at his shoulder. Harry knows who it is before he even turns around, but seeing Louis still manages to make his breath catch in his throat.

Louis jerks his thumb outside because it’s a little too loud and crowded to have a conversation inside, so Harry pushes the door open and steps out into the chilly Seattle night. When the door snaps shut behind them, music fading away to a quiet muffle in the background, Harry finally feels like he can breathe. He takes a deep breath, eyes fluttering shut as he takes in the relative quiet (but they’re still in downtown Seattle, so there’s plenty of ambient noise around).

“You alright?”

Harry takes one last inhale before he answers Louis. “Yeah. ‘M alright.”

Louis nods, shuffling his feet awkwardly where he’s standing a few feet to Harry’s side. Silence. He waits for Louis to start talking, to bring up the reason why he followed Harry out here, but nothing. It’s not getting any warmer outside, so he throws up his hands.

“Right, Lou, did you want to say anything, or are you just gonna stand there?”

Harry has no idea where all of this spite is coming from - well, okay he does - but it’s highly unusual for him. It’s clearly throwing Louis off guard too because he fishmouths for a few seconds before regaining his composure.

“Yeah, uh… I just…” he stutters out, and Harry’s eyes nearly roll to the back of his head. “Sorry! I just. Um. Areyouseeinganyone?”

It all comes out at once, words flying right over Harry’s head the first time he tries to process them. But then it all clicks, and his mouth practically drops to the floor.

Louis winces and opens his mouth, presumably to retract his question, but Harry stops him with a shake of his head. “No, it’s okay, took me by surprise.” That’s probably an understatement. “To answer your question, no, I’m not.”

“Oh,” says Louis, sounding far too relieved. “I mean, not that that’s a good thing, or a bad thing, you can date whoever you want-”

“Lou.”

He snaps his mouth shut, putting a stop to what probably would have been an endless ramble to cover up the awkwardness. Harry’s cheeks are dimpling of their own volition now, too taken by how adorable Louis is in this moment. “It’s alright,” he snickers softly. “I know what you mean.”

Louis bobs his head up and down, clearly not trusting his mouth to say anything more. Harry could leave now, but there’s something keeping him here, the same thing that he suspects is keeping Louis as well.

“Um,” Louis starts, chewing at his lip, staring down at the ground. Sensing that this is a heavier topic, Harry moves a little bit closer, until he’s standing in front of Louis, close enough to reach out and touch. He looks up, baby blue eyes filled with a complicated emotion that is matched on Harry’s face. “Is uh… is-”

“Yes,” Harry cuts in, knowing exactly what he’s getting at. It tugs at his heartstrings that Louis would even think to ask, because it means he hasn’t forgotten. “She’s doing great.” He had walked away from them, but had never forgotten.

Louis’ whole face brightens at that, mouth forming that pleased expression that Harry used to be so familiar with. This whole conversation is bringing back memories that Harry had thought long buried, pulling up emotions that aren’t exactly welcome. He stuffs them back down into the recesses of his head to be dealt with later and crosses his arms across his chest slightly defensively.

“Is that all?”

A moment hangs in the air where Harry is sure that Louis is going to press the matter, ask for more, but he shakes his head and takes a step back. “That’s it,” he says, offering Harry a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “I’m uh. Glad to see that you’re doing so well.”

There’s definitely a lot Harry could say to that that would suggest otherwise, but he’s fairly certain now - standing on a sidewalk in the chilly Seattle cold - is not the time to air out his grievances. So he settles for, “Yeah. Doing great. Nice seeing you again.”

Louis nods and then takes another half step back and another, until he finally has to fully turn around and start walking down the sidewalk. Harry watches him go with something akin to sorrow, and it’s not until Louis disappears around a corner that he realizes he doesn’t even know where the man lives. He could be walking for god knows how long.

The thought stays with him the whole drive home.

≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫

When Harry wakes the next morning, he exists in a state of blissful forgetfulness for all of five minutes, basking in the warmth of his own bed. His phone buzzes on the nightstand next to him and he picks it up, first registering the time (8am, practically a luxurious lay in for him), and next, the text that alerted his phone in the first place. It’s from an unknown number, so Harry almost deletes it, until he reads the message in its entirety.

Hey Harry. (If this isn’t Harry, I apologize and you can delete this text now.) But assuming this is Harry, this is Louis. I got your number through Liam and Niall, which I hope is okay. Just wondering if you wanted to catch up soon? I understand if you’re busy, but let me know! I have a pretty free schedule. Xx. Louis

Oh god. Louis.

Had he really sat with his ex-best friend last night and pretended like nothing between them had happened? Harry buries his face in his pillow and lets out a strangled groan, kicking his feet against the covers.

“Dad? Is everything okay?”

Rolling over, Harry spots the blurry form of his daughter loitering in the doorway, too long pajama bottoms trailing on the floor. “Hi pumpkin. I’m alright. You wanna cuddle?” It’s a pretty chilly morning and Harry can feel the cold air from where his feet are sticking out under the covers.

Dani nods and crawls under with him, burrowing into his side. “What were you yelling about?” she asks, walking her fingers across his torso. He feels the beginning of a tickle and retaliates in kind, digging his fingers into her side, eliciting squeals of laughter.

“I was imagining doing this to you!” cries Harry, only relenting when Dani cries uncle. The two of them lay on their backs, side-by-side while they catch their breath. He mulls over telling Dani an abbreviated version of what had happened last night, but decides not to. He hasn’t even texted Louis back, for goodness’ sake.

Speaking of, he rolls over and picks up his phone from the bed, still open to the blinking cursor of his answer to Louis. Feeling Dani’s eyes on him, he quickly types out an answer, hitting send without thinking, and turns his attention back to his daughter.

Hi Louis. This is indeed Harry. I’d love to meet up with you. Short notice, but are you free for lunch today? I know a few good brunch places in the city.

He forgets about it entirely until Dani crawls out of his bed a while later, sending his phone toppling to the ground. Picking it up, his eyebrows shoot into his hairline when he sees that there’s a response from Louis waiting for him, more than a few minutes old. He must have responded as soon as he got Harry’s text.

I actually am. Why don’t you text me the address of a place and I’ll meet you there at 12:30? Figure you’ll need the extra time to get the missus ready.

Harry snorts at that last entirely accurate statement, knowing it’ll take forever to get Dani presentable for the public. (He’s also slightly awed by the fact that Louis knew he would have to bring Dani with him.) Remembering that he doesn’t know exactly where Louis is, he texts back.

Where do you live? I don’t wanna pick a place that’s too far from you.

Barely a second goes by after he sets down his phone that he gets another ding in response.

I’m just a few blocks away from the bar we were at last night. Got myself a cozy little flat near Lima and Zayn. Now tell me where we’re going Harold!

A laugh escapes from his throat, and he quickly texts back an address of a restaurant that he knows is child-friendly. “Danielle, we’re going out to eat for lunch! Dress nicely!” Harry calls, smiling to himself when he hears an excited squeal echo back.

He checks the time, slightly alarmed to see 11:27 staring back at him. Even with the slight time crunch, Harry agonizes over what to wear for far too long. He flits between a sheer black button up, but no, that’s probably too flashy for a casual lunch, and then a casual polo, which makes him look like a golf dad, and then a half dozen other shirts, before he finally settles on a cozy black sweater with planets on the front, and only because Dani is yelling for him to hurry up. Harry grabs the first pair of jeans he can find, and hops over to her room, yanking up his jeans on the way.

He braids her curls in two sections just to save time, tying them off with two blue ribbons that match the sweater she’s picked out. With a reminder to grab a jacket and socks, Harry runs back to his room. “God, Styles, get a grip,” he mutters, pouring mousse into his hands to help style his curls into something more presentable. They’re starting to get long again, nearly brushing the tops of his shoulders, reminiscent of his uni days.

When he’s satisfied with the it looks like I rolled out of bed like this state of his hair, Harry hurries down the stairs to the front foyer, where he finds Dani dutifully pulling on her fluffy winter boots. “Good job, pumpkin,” he praises, quickly stepping into his own trusty brown Chelsea boots before opening up the hall closet to pull out both his and Dani’s jackets.

With one last glance at the time - almost noon, which is perfect - Harry steps out of the house, buckling Dani into her booster seat, and hops into the car himself. As he’s reversing out of their driveway, heat on full blast because Seattle winter is no joke, Dani pipes up from the back. “Daddy, what are we doing for lunch?”

Harry figures he should probably let his daughter know that Louis is going to be there, lest she become surprised by a random stranger sitting at their table. “We’re going to meet someone I know, pumpkin. He just moved here, so he’s looking for some new friends.”

“What’s his name?”

“Louis,” he answers, although Lou is right on the tip of his tongue. That nickname isn’t his to use anymore.

Dani repeats the name a few times, adding different inflections before nodding to herself. “I like his name.” Then with all the innocence of a child, she asks, “Is he lonely?”

Nearly choking on his tongue, Harry splutters out, “N-no. Why would you think that?”

“Well you said he was looking for friends!” she says. “If he’s looking for more friends, he must be lonely.”

And, well, Harry supposes there’s an inkling of truth in that. He’s not sure how many people Louis knows in Seattle, but it’s definitely not very many, and he must be feeling something, enough to make him go out and seek friends. Still. “I’m sure Louis can take care of himself, pumpkin. And please don’t call him lonely to his face.”

Dani shrugs and goes back to humming to herself, tracing invisible patterns on the window. Harry checks the time. 12:10. God.

He’s proud to say that it’s exactly half past noon as he and Dani are walking into the restaurant, Harry scanning to see where Louis might be. Just as he’s about to check his texts, a hand lands on his shoulder, startling him again for the second time in twice as many days.

“Christ, Louis,” Harry says, exhaling heavily as he turns around. “Quit spooking me!”

“Sorry,” he apologizes, then squats down more to Dani’s level. “Hello there.”

In typical fashion, Dani bounces on her feet, beaming widely as she practically shouts hello back. “Inside voices, please,” Harry requests, to which Dani nods.

“Hi, Louis,” she says again, much more quietly. “My name is Danielle, but you can call me Dani. It’s nice to meet you!”

He can see the conflict in Louis’ eyes in the quick look that they share before Louis straightens up. “It’s nice to meet you too, Dani. I’ve got a table over here.” He leads the way to a booth for four in the corner, sliding in on one side, Harry and Dani on the other. Dani immediately grabs a menu and starts thumbing through it, reading out the items to herself.

With her preoccupied, Harry looks up at Louis, who’s staring almost longingly at Danielle. It’s an expression that tears at Harry’s heart, almost making him regret his decision to not keep Louis in the loop all those years ago. They’re stuck in a loop of Louis staring at Dani and Harry staring at Louis until a waiter swings by, asking what they would like to drink.

Harry orders an orange juice for Dani and a water for him, while Louis gets a lemonade, his request of an umbrella garnering an eyebrow raise from both Harry and the waiter. “What’s that for?” he asks Louis once the waiter is gone.

Louis merely shrugs, and says, “So what’s good here?”

It’s clearly a change of topic, over something so mundane, but Harry lets it slide. He’s really not looking to start an argument. “I’ve only been here once or twice, but their sandwiches are really nice. Really family-friendly, so that’s why I chose it.”

“Ah.” Louis nods agreeingly, then lets his attention drop back down to the menu. The awkward tension between them is palpable, and Harry isn’t sure what he can do to break it.

Of course, he should learn to never underestimate his daughter.

“Louis, where did you come from?”

Dani’s innocuous question startles both of them, and it takes Louis a few seconds to answer. “Do you mean where I was born?”

“No, Daddy said you just moved here,” she says, jabbing one finger into the table. “Where did you live before?”

“Oh, I lived in Japan,” Louis explains, pulling out his phone when Dani gives him a confused head tilt. “Here.” He points to Japan on a world map and slides his phone over. “It’s across the ocean.”

It’s adorable watching Louis patiently explain what he did in Japan to Dani, raspy voice calm and soothing to his ears. Harry is aware that this is his job - teaching children - so he must at least be decent at it, but it’s quite something else to watch it happen to his own daughter. Dani is so enraptured (Harry too) that they don’t notice the waiter reappearing with their drinks and asking what they’d like to eat.

Orders taken, Harry feels far more comfortable in asking Louis his own questions about Japan, avoiding, of course, the Big QuestionTM. It feels far more normal than Harry could have expected after their encounter at the bar, smiles splitting both of their faces as they talk about Louis’ adventures.

He would have thought that there would be feelings of latent anger bubbling up to the surface when hearing how Louis’ life kept going after what had happened, but to Harry’s surprise, he feels nothing but joy. Maybe it’s the buzz in Louis’ voice as he talks about living in a small village, surrounded by people who don’t speak his language. Or maybe it’s the way Dani is practically laying on top of the table to get closer to Louis, eyes sparkling.

The arrival of their food doesn’t interrupt the storytelling, but it does pivot the conversation to Harry’s life, with Louis asking, “I think that’s enough about me. What have you been up to, Harold?”

Dani lets out a giggle at the nickname, Harry shooting her and Louis a faux angry glare. “Don’t get my daughter started on that, Lewis. And to answer your question, not much. Mostly taking care of the missus here.”

Louis looks at Harry from pulling a funny face for Dani with a raised eyebrow. “That’s it? Surely something must have happened in the past few years that’s worthy of telling me.”

“Not particularly,” Harry says, shrugging nonchalantly as he picks at his salad. He’s not quite sure how to vocalize the fact that after Louis left, he fell into quite a dark place and that it took him months to recover and get back to normal again. Some of that conflicted emotion must show on his face because Louis continues to pry.

“C’mon Harold, there’s definitely something,” he needles, voice almost taunting. “What’s the juicy gossip that you don’t want to spill?”

And, hell, this is definitely not the time or place to do this, but something inside of Harry snaps, fork clattering down on his plate. “You wanna know what happened after you left? What happened after you fu- went off to Japan and left all of your friends behind without so much as a goodbye?”

He’s at least consciously aware that his daughter is sitting next to him, so he bites down the urge to scream and curse, limiting himself to low anger. “You left, and then my whole world fell apart, Lou,” Harry snarls mockingly. “My best friend gone without a single goodbye text or even a letter. Niall can tell you how many times he had to pick me up off the floor, drunk in my own sorrows. Christ, even my mom had to come over and help me take care of Dani because I couldn’t do it myself.”

Louis looks stricken, jaw hanging slack, but Harry’s not done yet.

“God, do you even know how it might have felt? I spent years, Louis, years beating myself up, trying to figure out what I might have done wrong to drive you away like that. I-” he takes a heavy breath, hands shaking as he covers Dani’s ears for the next part. “Danielle couldn’t stop crying after you left, Louis. You were like a second parent to her, and you just. Fucking. Left. So, yeah, I’ve spent the last couple of years trying to rebuild myself. Is that good enough for you?”

Harry can’t. He just. He can’t stay here, doesn’t want to see whatever expression is on Louis’ face, doesn’t want to hear whatever Louis has to say. “Let’s go, Dani,” Harry says, slipping out of the booth and hastily yanking his jacket on. She’s clearly confused, eyes flickering between him and Louis, but she follows suit quietly. He’ll have to thank her for this later.

Right as he’s about to walk away from the table, he remembers that he should at least pay for his and Dani’s portion of the meal. Harry pulls out his wallet from his back pocket, pulling out a few ten dollar bills to slap them on the table.

“Harry, no.” Louis’ voice stops him, and he finally looks up. There’s a weariness carved into every inch of his face, fringe mussed as if he’s been tugging at it. It makes Harry hesitate in his fury, anger slipping out of him slowly. “I’ll take care of the bill. I think it’s the least I can do, yeah?”

And, god, even in this moment Louis is trying to crack jokes. “Yeah, okay.” He puts the cash back, hesitating to walk away now that he’s not as incensed. But they’ve already delved too deep into this matter for public consumption, and especially for Dani’s ears. Anything else they have to say to each other is going to have to be done in private.

“Bye, Louis,” he says, taking Dani’s hand and turning away from the table.

It feels like he’s left part of his heart right in that booth.

≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫

When Harry first meets Louis, it’s because he’s shown up 30 minutes into an hour-long Analysis of English Literature class that he simply has no motivation to go to. To be fair, it’s at 8 am so he’s not really sure what he expected from himself.

He slips into a seat right at the back, so as to not disturb the professor too much, pulling out his computer and trying to catch up on whatever the fuck is going on. The professor is rambling on and on about some book they were supposed to have read, but honestly, Harry hasn’t had the time to look into it very much, so he’s… painfully lost.

“Oi, mate, we’re on chapter 10.”

Harry turns to his right, and shit, if the sight of the man sitting next to him doesn’t wake him right up. Eyes the color of shiny blue aquamarine, soft cocoa hair that lays across his forehead in a perfect fringe, thin lips that are perfectly pink and kissable-

“Uh, hello?”

Reeling back, Harry smacks a hand against his forehead to knock those thoughts out of his brain. Sure, he’s a computational media major, but he’s pretty certain that his knowledge about colors should not be put to use to describe pretty boys in class.

“Sorry, um, you said chapter 10?” he says, digging through his backpack to pull out what he thinks is the book they’ve been reading. Pretty Boy nods at the cover and turns his attention back to the professor, leaving Harry staring at the side of his head blankly.

Right. He flips open the book to chapter 10. There’s class.

The last half-hour blurs by in a haze of sleep deprived awakeness and distracted staring at Pretty Boy. Harry is sure he’s been discreet, until class ends and, as people are packing up, Pretty Boy turns to him and says, “Alright, what’s your problem, mate?”

“Shit, sorry, I didn’t mean to stare,” Harry fumbles, hastily tearing his gaze away before he realizes that he’s now holding a conversation with a person without even looking at them. He looks back at Pretty Boy, who’s staring at him, eyebrow raised. “Sorry, um, I was just… looking at your sweater?”

Pretty Boy blinks down at his plain gray pullover and then back up at Harry. “Right. Are you always this eloquent or is this specially for me?”

Harry shakes his head and starts packing away his materials, eager to get away from this painfully awkward situation he’s dug himself into. “It’s just the early morning. I hate morning classes, but this is the only section that fit in my schedule. As a result, I’ve missed like half the lectures.”

“I see,” Pretty Boy snickers. “Well, is this class important for your major?”

“Nope,” Harry says, popping the p. He stands up and slings his bag onto his shoulders, offering out his hand. “Harry Styles, first year computational media major and certified hot mess, nice to meet you.”

Laughing, Pretty Boy takes his hand and shakes it. “Louis Tomlinson, first year English major and analytic lunatic. Say, you wouldn’t happen to know anything about coding, would you?”

It takes a second for Harry to respond, Louis’ name tumbling around in his head. “Uh, coding yeah, I’m alright at it. Why?”

“You’re really not a morning person, are you, Harold?” Louis muses, and Harry has the urge to say that it’s really just him. “Anyways, I was thinking that if you can help me with my computer science class - which I’m hopeless at - I can help you get caught up in this class. One for one.”

Really, what option does Harry have but to say yes?

And thus begins a four year long friendship in which Harry spends every minute of it pining over Louis. Niall, who stays Harry’s roommate through the entire ordeal, constantly pesters him to “simply tell Louis, you moron, or I’ll tell him for you” but Harry absolutely refuses to put their relationship in jeopardy.

Turns out he does that himself anyways.

Three and a half years into college, Harry gains a brand new family member.

He and Niall move into family housing as soon as Danielle is born, but Louis is over more often than not, cooing at Dani’s cute face. He’s there when Dani first smiles (he argues that it was because of his presence, but Harry knows it’s because of the funny face he pulled behind him), and he’s there when Dani starts crawling and walking and babbling and talking and-

Louis is there for everything. If Harry hadn’t been in love with him before, he certainly is now, watching Louis roll around on the carpet with Dani all over him. Someone comes up on his shoulder, and before they even speak, Harry knows it’s Niall.

“You’ve got to tell him,” Niall says, voice low so it doesn’t carry into the living room. “You’re both graduating in a month, and Louis is… well, you guys don’t know where you’re going to end up. Tell him before you regret it.”

Harry brushes him off in favor of joining his daughter and best friend on the floor, giggling off the pain. As is the norm, as Harry is slowly finding out, Niall is right.

The day after they walk across the stage to receive their diplomas, Louis is on a plane to Japan, not a single goodbye, face-to-face or written. And Harry is left behind to pick up the pieces of his broken heart, scattered across the Pacific.

≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫

It’s been a week since the disastrous meeting.

In that time, Harry has buried himself in his work, trying to patch the hole in his heart with success elsewhere. Internally, he knows he’s slipping back into that headspace where he had been right after Louis left for Japan, which is why he’s not surprised when Niall ends up spending a few nights with them during the weekdays.

He’s also not blind, and he can see the concerned looks Dani has been slipping him. She’s been quiet about the whole affair, which he appreciates.

Until now, of course.

They’re putting up the final touches on their Christmas tree in the living room when she finally asks the question that he’s sure has been hanging in her mind.

“Daddy?”

“Yes pumpkin?” Harry says, straining on the stepladder to put up an ornament right on the highest branches.

She shuffles around for a few seconds, catching Harry’s attention, because his daughter has never been shy in her life. “About Louis… Have I met him before? He seems familiar.”

And that… is not the question Harry had been expecting, nearly startling him off the ladder. He steps down carefully and sits next to Dani, where she’d been sorting through the ornament boxes. “Why do you say that, pumpkin?”

Dani shrugs. “I feel like I know him. His voice sounds really familiar, but I don’t know where it’s from.”

“Right,” Harry sighs, dragging his palms up his legs. “I guess it’s time that you should know.” With Dani’s confused eyes on him, he reaches over to the coffee table and pulls out a photobook from one of the drawers. It’s old and dusty, Harry not having looked at it in years in an attempt to bury the past.

One deep breath and then another, and he’s cracking it open to the first page. Dani scoots closer with an excited hum, her fingers reaching out to brush against one of the photos in particular.

“That’s you and… Louis.” Harry distinctly remembers taking that photo in the wee hours of the morning at the hospital, the day Danielle was born. The raw emotion is clear on Louis’ face, pure adoration as he stares down at baby Dani, his hand wrapped around hers.

As Dani flips through the photobook, Harry lets the memories wash back over him, settling into his heart and filling the pieces of it that have been missing for nearly six years. He hadn’t thought that it would be this cathartic to relive a time where his best friend was at his side, no matter how much of a crush he was suppressing. When they reach the last page, photos of their graduation filling both sides of the book, Harry knows that he has to do something.

“Louis left after I graduated from college,” Harry says, words tumbling out. “He didn’t leave anything behind, and I had to raise you on my own. That’s why I was so angry with him. I just couldn’t believe that my best friend had completely left me, especially when you were so cute and squishy.”

Dani giggles at the last part briefly before turning wide eyes onto him. “Why?”

“Why what, pumpkin?”

“Why did Louis leave? Was it because of me? Did-”

“Ah, no,” interrupts Harry, one finger held up. “You didn’t do anything, pumpkin. You weren’t even two years old. I don’t know why Louis left. He never told me.”

With a disgruntled noise, Dani pokes Harry in the arm, hard, eliciting an incredibly unmanly noise from him. “Daddy, you have to ask him why!”

God, he’s being pestered about his relationships by his own daughter. “I will, pumpkin, but we have to finish decorating this tree!” He leaps to his feet, holding out a hand for Dani. She takes it and they get back to work, Harry thankful for his daughter’s short attention span.

It takes them another hour to finish, with Harry lifting Dani up so she can put the crowning star on the top. They take a step back to admire the twinkling lights, Frank Sinatra crooning in the background from the record player.

“Daddy?”

“Mhmm?”

“Did you love Louis?”

Once again, his daughter manages to steal the air right out of his lungs, whole body stiffening for a second. Harry’s instinctual answer is to say no, how could he love the person that abandoned him, but he knows he did at one point.

“Yeah, I did.”

Dani nods in agreement. “I could tell. You looked at him in those photos the same way you look at me, and you tell me you love me all the time.”

“I do love you, pumpkin,” Harry says, bending down to press a kiss against the top of her head. “Now go and wash your hands. We’ll have pizza for dinner, how’s that?”

She scurries off with a squeal, and Harry’s left alone, staring at the Christmas tree. Even his daughter could see how much he cared for- no, loved Louis back then.

Yeah, he had been a goner for Louis Tomlinson the second he laid eyes on him, and he’s pretty sure he could love him again if he tried.

≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫

It’s 10 A.M. on December 23rd (or Christmas Eve Eve as Dani likes to call it) and Harry is standing right outside of the door to Louis’ apartment, one hand poised to knock. He’s been hesitating for at least 15 minutes now, arm starting to ache. There’s something akin to nerves and anticipation coursing through his veins, slight shake going through his whole body.

A few days after Dani had confronted him, he’d finally built up the courage to text Louis again, asking if they could meet up and talk. Much to his relief, Louis had readily agreed, offering up his apartment as a private place. Niall had been more than willing to come over earlier this morning to watch Dani, the two of them curling up with mugs of hot chocolate and settling in for a day of Christmas movies.

Really, Harry wishes he could join them.

Taking a deep breath, he finally lets his arm drop, knocking against the door once before it swings wide open. Louis stands, grinning, on the other side.

“I was wondering how long it was going to take you. Honestly, mate, I was just about to give up and open the door myself.”

Harry blinks. “You knew I was there?”

Louis snorts, beckoning him in with a wave of his hand. “Of course I did,” he says, door closing behind them with a snap. “Reckon all of my neighbors saw you standing there too.”

Humming in response, Harry steps forward a bit to look around. The walls are rustic, exposed brick, modern furniture a sleek black to contrast. There’s fairy lights lining almost every inch of the living room, only outshone by the small Christmas tree in the corner. The whole apartment manages to walk a fine line between cozy and contemporary, a clear stylistic choice by Louis.

“Very nice,” he nods, dimpling at Louis, who’s watching his reaction closely. “I like the fairy lights.” It had been something that Louis brought over to his uni apartment, claiming that the soft light would help Dani sleep better.

“Thanks,” Louis says, turning to the small kitchen and pulling out some mugs. “Tea?”

“Yeah, just-”

“Sugar, no milk. I still remember.”

Harry stares at him in slight disbelief, shoulders dropping from their tense position slightly. “Yeah. Yeah, you do.”

Louis offers him a reassuring smile and tips his head towards the couch. “Go sit. You look like you’re dead on your feet.”

In some ways he is, having stayed up late last night finishing up the wrapping for all of Dani’s presents, but he’s mostly just stressed. Being around Louis with this feeling of uncertainty makes him stressed. Harry sits down on the couch, relaxing into the comfortable seat back. His head tips to the side and he notices a small framed photo on the side table next to him, reaching out to grab it when something catches his eye.

It’s of him, Niall, and Louis at their college graduation, all dressed up in their caps and gowns, broad smiles splitting their faces. A pang of nostalgia strikes right at Harry’s heart as he traces the outline of the photo with a finger.

“I- oh.”

He looks up to see Louis standing there, two mugs of steaming hot tea in his hands, staring at the photo frame. “I see,” sighs Louis, setting down the mugs on the coffee table before he takes a seat next to Harry, close enough so that their thighs are touching. He takes the frame from Harry, a defeated slump to his shoulders as he starts to speak.

“I really have no idea what was going through my brain that whole semester. Looking back at it now, it all feels like a huge blur,” Louis murmurs, slight shake to his voice. “Really, the only thing that is clear to me are the moments I spent with you and Dani.”

He hesitates, then, with a gentle shoulder squeeze from Harry, blurts out, “My parents told me they were getting a divorce at the beginning of that spring semester.” Harry inhales sharply, but Louis keeps going. “I didn’t know how to handle it, so I ran. Made plans to go to Japan right after graduation, didn't tell any of you guys because I know if I did, you guys would talk me out of it. It was just an instinctual response because it felt like my whole body was shutting down.”

“Oh, Lou.” Harry scoots even closer to wrap an arm around him properly, the feeling of Louis trembling underneath his touch breaking his heart. “You shouldn’t have gone through that alone.”

“I know,” Louis says, sniffling quietly and fuck, Harry hadn’t even realized he’d been crying. “But you and Niall had Dani, and I didn’t want to be more of a bother than I already was and-”

“Bother?” interrupts Harry, incredulously. He leans forward to try and catch Louis’ gaze, but he turns his face in the other direction. “Louis, you were the furthest thing from a bother. I couldn’t have raised Dani without you. Fuck, you were pretty much like a second father to her.”

Louis doesn’t do anything more than shake his head uselessly, eyes squeezed shut. Harry gets the feeling that he’s really not up to talking at the moment, so he sweeps a soothing hand up and down his back, chin hooked on top of his shoulder. To break the silence, he hums a soothing lullaby that his mum sang to him and he sang to Dani, the tune carrying softly in the quiet atmosphere of the apartment.

With a shuddering breath, Louis straightens up, Harry’s head slipping off of his shoulder, but arm staying around his waist. “Sorry, I haven’t thought about that in a while. Not since I saw you again, at least.”

“It’s alright.” He waits for Louis to take the lead on the conversation again, which he does with some reluctance.

“I think… part of the reason I was so desperate to get away is because… all the time I was spending with you and Dani made me realize something.”

Harry’s heart drops right out of his chest, hovering nervously somewhere around his stomach. All of a sudden it’s like every ounce of his anxiety has come back in full force, holding his breath. “Realize what?” he asks. He doesn’t want to know the answer, but he needs to.

Louis turns to look at him with watery, blue eyes and then utters the words that Harry’s been hoping to hear his whole life.

“I’m in love with you, Harry Styles.”

A series of things happens all at once.

First, Harry starts breathing again because holy shit Louis loves him. Second, he lets out a little wobbly laugh in disbelief. And third, he leans forward and kisses Louis right on the mouth.

See, if this were a movie, there would be fireworks going on in the background and triumphant music playing as they kiss romantically, mouths fitting together perfectly. Reality isn’t like that.

In reality, Harry’s kiss is a little off point, catching more of the corner of Louis’ mouth than his lips, and he’s a little too eager in moving forward, some part of him catching one of the tea mugs and sending it to the floor.

“Shit!” Louis exclaims, breaking apart and lunging forward to grab the mug. He manages to catch it before it smashes to pieces, while Harry springs up to get paper towels to clean up the mess.

“Sorry, sorry,” he says hurriedly, pressing the towels to the carpet. “That was an accident.”

Louis snorts, taking the roll from Harry’s hands and helping him clean the spill. “I would assume so. I doubt you’d try to sabotage our first kiss on purpose.”

Harry looks up, locking eyes with Louis who’s just a few inches away from him, and pushes up to kiss him once more. This time, at least, their mouths find each other, plush and hot in all the best ways, only pulling away when Harry needs to take a breath. He lets his forehead rest against Louis’, both of them breathing heavily as they take each other in.

Louis is the first one to start giggling, and after that, both of them are on the floor, next to the damp tea spot on the floor and discarded paper towels. He’s not even sure what’s so funny to begin with - although it might just be the entire situation - but the bout of laughter brings a levity in the air that finally matches the Christmas spirit in the apartment.

“God, we’re ridiculous, huh?” Louis snorts, hands on his stomach as he lays on his back, staring up at the ceiling. Pushing himself up on one arm, Harry admires his form for a second, other hand coming over to push Louis’ fringe out of his eyes.

“Just a little bit,” he agrees, gathering up the towels to go throw them away. “Let’s get this cleaned up and then we can talk a little bit more.”

After the mess is gone (sans the damp carpet), they both agree to talk on Louis’ bed instead, bundling up underneath the covers to escape the chilly air. Louis is more enthusiastic this time when he talks about falling in love with Harry, a glimmer in his eyes reminiscent of those old days that Harry remembers.

It’s wild hearing about Louis’ side of the story, how he was drawn in immediately on that first day just like Harry was, how he buried his feelings deep down for years, how he felt like a second father to Dani but didn’t want to acknowledge it. Harry nearly cries when Louis tells him about the time Dani called him papa, which brings both joy and sadness to his heart.

“I had no idea,” he chokes out, chewing his lap anxiously at just the thought of Louis struggling with this burden alone. “She never said it around me.”

Louis nods, taking one of Harry’s trembling hands in his own. “I know. Not sure what I would’ve done if she had. But none of this was your fault, Harry. I chose to keep this all to myself, as stupid and selfish as it might have been.” He chokes out a laugh, shaking his head a bit. “God, if only I had known that you felt the same way as I did.”

Harry sniffles back tears, leaning back in to press another gentle kiss to Louis’ cheek. “We both know now. So hopefully we can start to learn more about each other and do this the right way.”

“I love you,” Louis says, leaning his head into Harry’s.

“Love you too.” His eyes flutter shut at the feeling of having Louis so, so close to him, at finally being able to hold him the way he’d been dreaming of for years. They lay quietly for a while, basking in each other’s presence before Louis speaks up.

“So… Where’s Danielle?”

“She’s hanging out with Niall. Actually, she’s the one who insisted that I come and talk to you.” Harry shakes his head, mild disbelief coloring his tone. “I cannot believe that my daughter is participating in my matchmaking.”

With a laugh half disguised as a cough, Louis rubs a palm over his mouth to hide his smile. “Well, I’m glad. She must be one smart cookie then, to set her father up with someone as amazing as me.”

Harry rolls his eyes to the ceiling, punctuated by a sharp jab to Louis’ side. “Hush, you. Actually,” he shuffles on his side to look at Louis properly, “Tomorrow’s Christmas Eve.”

“No, really?” Louis sarcastically interjects.

The scathing look Harry gives him, sends him into a fit of giggles, which honestly brings a half-smile to his own face before he rearranges his expression. “C’mon Lou.”

“Sorry, sorry.” He doesn’t sound sorry at all, chewing his lip between his teeth. “Serious mode on now.”

“Mmhmm,” Harry hums, eliciting another cough-laugh from Louis. “Anyways, I’m hosting a small Christmas party tomorrow. I know it’s your birthday, so if you’ve got plans, I completely understand, but-”

“Hazza,” Louis interrupts, the nickname more so than his interjection skittering Harry’s ramble to a halt. His face is open and soft, pure elation sparkling in his eyes. “I’d love to come over. I really didn’t have any plans for my birthday anyways besides get a little drunk by myself.”

A sigh of relief huffs out from Harry’s lungs as he lays back into the pillows. “I’m glad I invited you then. Getting drunk by yourself on your own birthday isn’t really ideal.”

“It’s not,” agrees Louis, snuggling in close to Harry’s side, head resting on his shoulder. “But I didn’t know anyone in town, and it’s a bit late to get tickets to fly back to mum. Besides, they’re spending the holidays in New York, so I’d be flying cross country. Instead,” he turns his head to press a gentle kiss to Harry’s jaw, “I’m spending it with my second family.”

It takes far too long for those words to process in Harry’s brain, gears turning and turning until it all clicks in his head. “Lou,” he breathes out, eyes a little watery. “Are you sure?”

“If you’ll have me,” Louis says, shrugging like it’s no big deal. “The two of you were always my home away from home, and I’m tired of denying it.”

In lieu of a verbal answer, Harry rolls over to kiss him into the mattress. His heart feels so full, about to burst, and it’s a rare feeling that he’d like to encapsulate and keep forever.

≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫

The morning of the party rolls around and Harry is… nervous. For once, he’s up earlier than Dani, rising with the sun and brewing a strong cup of coffee. He needs the caffeine for what is inevitably going to be a long day. There’s a todo list a mile long in his head and just thinking about it is giving him anxiety.

Sipping on the warm cup of coffee settles the ball of emotions in Harry’s stomach (which is both comforting and worrying), so he gets to work on the food. With Christmas music on in the background, time flies by.

Harry has had a tradition of hosting a Christmas Eve party at his house every year since he’s moved to Seattle, so putting together the pigs in blankets and other various finger foods is easy as anything. Unfortunately, it means his brain can run wild with daydreams, going off to think about all the various ways tonight’s events could unfold. Niall is going to be there, so explaining to his best friend what’s occurred between him and Louis is going to be… interesting. Zayn and Liam will likely make an appearance, which will provide Louis some relief because the rest of the attendees are some single parents from Dani’s school and the few coworkers that Harry has bothered to befriend.

Should he introduce Louis as his boyfriend to these people? Would that be too presumptuous? But then what is Louis? And how does he explain this to Dani?

The last question becomes the most prevalent as his daughter toddles sleepy-eyed into the kitchen, speaking through a yawn. “Daddy, did you make up with Louis?”

Letting out a half-exasperated sigh, because of course Dani would ask him this first thing in the morning, Harry sets down the delicate phyllo dough, wipes his hands on his pink apron, and turns to face her. “I did make up with Louis,” he says, watching carefully as she climbs up onto a barstool at the island. He wouldn’t be surprised if she somehow fell off - wouldn’t be the first time. “Do you want breakfast?”

Dani nods in agreement, putting her head down in her arms with a groan. “It’s early, Daddy.”

Harry snorts and turns to their fridge, pulling out some eggs to scramble them up. “You’re normally up around this time on a normal day, pumpkin. What time did you go to bed?” He hadn’t returned from Louis’ apartment until midnight, mostly due to Niall’s insistence that he stay over and ‘finally get some, you repressed fucker.’

Louis had nearly pissed himself in laughter when he heard that comment.

“Um… Uncle Niall let me stay up until 11, I think. He said it was a special Christmas treat!” She picks up her head and smiles before rubbing at her eyes. “But I’m tired now, Daddy, and we have the big Christmas party tonight. I want to wear my new dress!”

“This is why I tell you to go to bed at your bedtime, silly,” Harry admonishes lightly, pointing his spatula at Dani. “We’ll find time for you to nap in the afternoon before people get here, so you’re not tired at the party.”

Dani squeals with joy, sleepiness apparently forgotten. Within a few minutes, Harry scrapes out the eggs onto a plate, putting a piece of toast on the side and setting it in front of his daughter. “When you’re done eating, you can go clean up and then help me prep.”

She immediately starts gulping down the food as quickly as possible until a gentle reminder from Harry slows her down. “I don’t want you to choke and the food isn’t going anywhere.”

He turns back to making spanakopita, scooping in the spinach and feta filling into little phyllo pockets. Dani sets her plate in the sink with a clatter, darting off to go change before coming back and dragging up a step stool so she can reach the counter properly.

With a little helper, the food preparation blazes by, most of the stuff going into the fridge to be cooked later. The cleaning begins shortly after lunch, which Dani is far less excited about, but assists in anyways. Thankfully, Harry is prevented from mulling over his Louis debacle - and boy, did he think those days were over - because he constantly has to keep an eye on Dani to make sure she’s not making more of a mess.

Really, he finds himself having a lot of fun spending this quality time with his daughter. In the haze of his blowout argument with Louis, he’d sort of neglected Dani - not in her care, but in the amount of quality time he spent with her. Now that his mind is more focused, he can finally appreciate the holidays with Dani, fully embrace the Christmas spirit that had felt so lackluster before.

Niall arrives two hours early, around 4 pm, to help wrap up the process. “Merry Christmas, Dani,” he booms, sweeping in the door with a flurry of snow and brandishing a large, messily wrapped gift. “This is for you, little lady.”

Dani cheers and grabs the present, but before she can run off, Harry stops her with a hand on her shoulder. “What do we say?”

“Thank you Uncle Niall!” she says, scampering off. Harry and Niall listen to the sounds of her rattling the box around to discern what’s inside before shaking their heads.

“I got her the big cars playset she’s been eyeing.” Niall slips off his coat and grins at Harry’s exasperated groan.

“Well, fuck, I was gonna get that for her birthday,” Harry mutters, rubbing at his forehead and sighing when his hand comes away with flour. He hadn’t realized that it had gotten in his hair.

Snickering, Niall reaches up to brush it all out, handing him a damp paper towel to properly clean his face. “You’re a right mess today. Did you sort things out with Louis? For good?”

Harry uses the towel as an excuse to hide his surely burning cheeks when he responds with, “Yeah. We’re um… gonna try the whole dating thing.” God, he feels like a teenager again, confessing his crush. “I haven’t exactly told Dani, or anyone else really,” he says, cutting off Niall’s yell of excitement before it even starts, “so keep it on the down low.”

“I’m happy for you,” Niall faux-whispers, giving Harry a hearty slap on the back, hard enough that he nearly stumbles into the fridge. “When you guys get married, I reserve the right to be your best man and say I told you so in front of everybody.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Harry waves him off and starts pulling the food out of the fridge, shoving a tray into Niall’s arms. “Do what it is you came here for, help.”

In true Niall fashion, he does help, but spares no expense in making plenty of jokes about Louis the entire time. Harry considers gagging him with a hand towel, but being a good parent, he shouldn’t, not with Dani around.

(That doesn’t stop him from snapping the towel across Niall’s arse several times.)

By the time 6 pm rolls around, all the foods are hot and plated, a veritable spread covering every inch of his kitchen countertops. He’s also got eggnog and spiked warm apple cider - which he keeps Dani away from, much to her chagrin - in bowls, adding to the decadent aroma that’s filling the room. Soft Christmas music is playing in the background, lights are hung from the ceiling, and as Harry stands in the middle of it all, he can’t help but feel that this is going to be the best holiday yet.

Well. First, he’s got to change.

Both he and Dani are still wearing the clothes he threw on this morning, so they scurry up to change while Niall mans the door. People are just starting to arrive, and Harry can hear them bustle in as he’s pulling on pressed, cream trousers and a silky red button down to match. He runs mousse through his hair to make it look half decent, spares himself an appreciative glance in the mirror because damn, he looks good, and then pops over to Dani’s room.

Dani is struggling to zip up her red velvet dress, white trimmings on the sleeves and hem making her look like Santa, hair a flyaway mess atop her head.

“You need my help, pumpkin?” he asks, dropping down to one knee. She nods eagerly and lets him zip it up, spinning around eagerly once he’s done.

“Thanks daddy! I love it, don’t you think it makes me look pretty?”

Harry exhales heavily, and no, there are not tears in his eyes from how grown up Dani looks. Before he can respond though, another voice answers her question.

“You look beautiful, love.”

Louis’ rasp takes them both by surprise, Dani more than Harry, judging by her strangled gasp. “Lou,” he murmurs warmly, standing to embrace his boyfriend. His holiday sweater is soft under Harry’s hands, and when Harry tucks his head into the crook of his neck, he smells like cinnamon and spice. He takes a reluctant step back and then waves a hand to Dani. “Aren’t you going to say hello?”

She takes a few tentative steps forward, coming to a stop in front of Louis with wide eyes as she asks, “Are you gonna be Daddy’s boyfriend?”

The question elicits a cough of laughter from Harry, both of them sharing amused looks before Louis answers. “I am, yes.”

Shockingly, Dani doesn’t immediately jump for joy like Harry had thought she would. Instead, she narrows her eyes and pokes him in the stomach. “Are you gonna leave us again? Because I don’t want you to hurt Daddy again by leaving.”

At that, Louis’ entire posture seems to melt, bending down until he’s eye level with Dani. “I promise,” he says, lowly yet earnestly, “that I’m not going to leave this time. I’m sorry I left you and your Daddy the first time, but that’s not gonna happen again. I… I love your dad. And I love you.”

Dani tackles him in a hug before he’s even finished with his last sentence, Louis grunting with the effort it takes to stay upright. Harry definitely has tears in his eyes now, one hand pressed over his mouth, trying to contain the love that he feels for this man and his daughter. In the end, he really can’t hold it back, dropping to his knees to join in the group hug.

They stay like that for a while before Dani pulls back, trying to surreptitiously wipe her eyes. Louis looks like he’s pulled a muscle with how hard he’s smiling, squeezing one of Harry’s hands. “Your hair is a mess, love,” he says, voice rough with unshed tears. “Do you want me to braid it?”

She nods, turning around and plopping down on the floor. “How do you know how to braid hair, Louis?”

“I learned because of my sisters.” Louis finger-combs through her hair and parts it into three sections to braid. “They were always asking me to braid their hair, so I got a lot of practice.”

Dani oohs, squirming a little bit until Louis gently reminds her to sit still. He’s so good with her, it makes Harry’s whole chest bubble with warmth. Still after all these years, he’s practically a second parent to Dani.

Harry really can’t wait to see how their bond as a family is going to grow.

“Did you know that I used to have long hair too?” he says, twirling a short strand around his finger like he used to. Louis glances over, tracing Harry’s hair, no doubt reminiscing on those days.

“Really?” Dani gasps, twisting around much to Louis’ chagrin. “Sorry, Louis. But really Daddy?”

Nodding, Harry gets up from the floor just as Louis ties off Dani’s braid with a bit of red ribbon. “I sure did. I think there are some photos in the albums downstairs if you want to look.”

“Yes please!”

Louis chuckles and takes Harry’s offered hand before swinging Dani up into his arms with a grin. “Well we better get down there and start greeting all the people, huh?”

He takes off with a cheer from Dani, Harry following close behind as they head down the stairs. There are lots of curious gazes that follow them around, undoubtedly wondering why Louis is carrying his daughter around, but he keeps his head high and smile bright. There’ll be time later to explain everything.

Right now, Harry focuses on the giddy peals of laughter coming from his daughter as Louis spins her around. He comes up behind them, wrapping his arms around them both with a happy sigh.

“Daddy, this is the best Christmas ever!” Dani nearly shrieks, both Harry and Louis wincing from the sheer volume. He doesn’t have the heart to chastise her though, instead nodding in agreement.

“This is the best Christmas,” says Harry. “Do you want to go get something to eat?”

She nods enthusiastically, slipping down from Louis’ arms and scurrying off to the kitchen. Louis watches her go with deep emotion in his eyes that Harry can relate to. It’s the look that parents get when they watch their kids get older, that slight longing of their younger years.

“She’s getting pretty independent, huh?”

Louis nods along, smiling ruefully at Harry. “She is. I wish I had been here to see her grow up.”

“You’re here now.” Harry squeezes him tighter and presses a soft kiss against his shoulder. “And you’ll be here from now on?” He doesn’t quite mean for it to be a question, but there’s still a hint of doubt flickering in very back of his mind.

Spinning around in his grasp, Louis looks him dead in the eye. “I’ll be here for as long as you want me. I’m never leaving again, I promise.”

Hit with a sudden rush of love, Harry kisses the life out of Louis, hands coming up to cup his face. If he could, he’d stay like this forever, surrounded by friends and with the man he loves the most.

Harry giggles against Louis’ mouth because he realizes can stay like this. This is his future, and he’s absolutely ready for it.