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Jocelyn found Luke at the steps of the Hall of Acords. From even her distance, she could see his reluctance. All the heat had left him, his anger, his fear, and all that was left was a kind of misery only heartbreak could bring.
"Luke!" She cried when he began to scale the steps. He looked her way, a shocked look in his eyes as she ran the rest of the way to him. He looked numb when she reached him, so she stopped, wanting to hug him, just to touch him, but he looked too far gone for that to be appropriate. She frantically searched her mind for the right words; for anything that could fix this.
"Is everything ok?" He asked, his voice horse, as if he'd been yelling, or just not talking at all. It made her head spin, him saying that, making her think that even with him this hurt, he would still help her if she needed him. Tears welled in her eyes.
"Of course not. Lucian, you can't stay here."
Luke's eyes widened at both her statement and at the use of his given name. "Do you think I want to leave you? Do you think I want to leave Clary?" He was also on the verge of tears now. "I can't stand the thought of it, but I can't..." He hung his head low, his hands in fists, more distressed then she's seen him in years.
"Luke." Jocelyn said, sternly, to focus them both. She stepped closer to him so that there was hardly anything between them and reached out, gripping his jacket with both hands, keeping his eyes locked with hers. In those eyes, she saw the kind, caring, beautiful man that only she could know, and remembered the day she realized she was in love with him.
"It was when you found me in New York ten years ago." She said. "I knew I couldn't keep lying to myself, not after that day. But I never thought I could tell you, never thought you could feel the same way..."
"What are you saying?" Luke asked, his arms hovering at his sides while his face was just inches from hers.
"That I'm in love with you, and have been for a long time." Jocelyn said, her resolve finally giving way. She threw her arms around his neck and buried her face in the crook of his neck. Her heart practically sang when she felt his familiar warmth envolope around her, his arms around her middle, strong hand at her back, breath above her ear. Though, she wasn't she he was breathing.
"Jocelyn..." Luke tried to say, his voice shaking, but she held him tighter and kept going.
" You were at my door after five years of just missing you and worrying about you, and I never wanted you out of my life ever again." Tears were spilling from her eyes freely as she pulled away to look at him in the eyes, noticing that he wasn't far behind her, his own eyes watery.
" But I've been blind for years..." She continued, bringing a hand to the side of his face, feeling his rough skin there, reveling in the feel of his hand meeting hers. "I didn't think you could psossibly love me, with everything I've put you through."
"You haven't 'put me through' anything." Luke said, determined and resolute. "You are the best friend I've ever had, and you've given me the best years of my life, even when I didn't think I could tell you how I felt. I love you, Jocelyn, nothing will change that."
They both couldn't help it any longer, Luke meeting Jocelyn half way when she leaned into him. Their first kiss, and absolutely nothing else around them mattered. They both gripped each other as if life depended on it, leaving nothing chaste, Jocelyn on her toes and Luke deepening the kiss by leaning down further. When they seperated, for the most part at least, they kept kissing, little pecks and lingering caresses, for the longest of moments. It was so new, something both had dreamt of, and it was hard to think of a time when either of them had felt more complete.
"Not to be too forward," Luke began, a gruff whisper against Jocelyn's lips. "But you'll probably have to move in with me when we get back to New York, your apartment's pretty unlivable at the moment."
His small smile was too precious not to kiss again, so she did so before answering. "It's about time."
...
Everyone stayed late at the party. It was nearly 2:00am when people started leaving, and even so, many were still celebrating.
Clary was eventually whisked away from her friends by her mother, Jocelyn only partly surprised with herself that she'd allowed her daughter to stay this long. To be fair, she had been very occupied herself, hardly feeling the time slip away as the night went on. The war was over, her daughter was safe, and Luke loved her. Tonight was meant to go on as long as possible if she had anything to say about it.
Still, seeing her daughter this way, not only as someone with so much untapped potential and the power to turn a war around, but as a young woman, scared her. She tried to shake the feeling she supposed every mother had eventually, the uncertainty that came with their children growing up. Of course, once her mind wandered to these thoughts, Luke knew, and he eased her discomforts with a gentle smile. They’d been inseparable all night, both secretly worried that this was a dream, not letting the other out of their reach for more than a moment in fear that they’d disappear. They both learned quickly how well they fit together, how much they loved simply feeling the other’s hand in their own. And kissing, that was very new. Because they were in front of so many people, not to mention Clary and her friends, all they had the mind to do were chaste kisses, quick, but no less loving. Jocelyn almost felt drunk on the feeling, having only confessed to Luke her feelings hours ago. It almost felt too good to be true.
But everything tonight was good and true, and what was important now was that the war was over, her daughter safe and hanging onto her arm as they walked back to Amatis' house.
Jocelyn smiled at the sight just a few feet away from them, of Luke and Amatis arm in arm, talking softly between themselves. She hadn't seen Luke this happy in ages, the bright smile gracing his features making him look ten years younger.
"This is the latest I've been out in a long time." Amatis said when they got back to her house. “I’ll see you all in the morning…or maybe the afternoon.” She hugged her brother, saying goodnight to everypne before leaving for her room.
“You should go to bed, too, it’s been a long day.” Jocelyn said as Clary was slumped into her embrace. Clary hummed in agreement, more tired then she wanted to admit.
Jocelyn kissed her daughter’s forehead before letting her go straight into a hug from Luke. She smiled at their brief moment, her heart warming at the knowledge that this was her little family and that it always had been.
“Goodnight, Clary.” Luke said, ruffling her hair fondly. Just by the look in his eyes, Jocelyn could see the fatherly love he had for her daughter, reminding her of the first time he'd met Clary and how instant their connection had been. She'd loved him then too, had fallen for him even further whenever he made little Clary laugh, and whenever he picked her up off the ground for a bear hug; everything he did to make her daughter feel loved and protected.
Clary promptly dissapeared into her guest room, almost looking too tired to get out of her dress.
“I’m making some tea, I need something to help wind down." Luke said, heading towards the kitchen. "You want some?”
“Sure. Thanks.” Jocelyn replied. "I didn't know you drank tea anymore."
Luke shrugged. "Used to have it all the time when I lived here, I guess it just feels right."
They both went to the kitchen, Jocelyn finding a seat at the table while Luke went to make hot water. She watched him, realizing then that she was allowing herself to. For years, she’d convinced herself that he couldn’t possibly love her, not in the way she hoped he could. Now they were here, only hours ago having been in the next room, Luke confessing to her after years of partnership and devotion that he'd loved her for far longer then she could have imagined.
She got up, moved by a will she had yet to process, and went over to Luke. His back was to her, busy with his task, and without thinking, she wrapped her arms around him. She could feel him breathing, she could steal his warmth. Almost instantly, she felt his hand cover one of hers, squeezing it before leaning slightly into her embrace.
“I love you.” Luke said, his voice low and sincere. She could almost hear the smile on his lips. “Have I told you that today?”
Jocelyn smiled at that, burying her face into the fabric of Luke’s shirt. “Yes, I believe you have, more than once. And I hope you never stop.”
He turned in her arms then, taking her face in his hands and kissing her, full and long and sweeter than anyone would think a werewolf could be. It hadn’t even been a day and she’d lost count of how many kisses they’d had. But this was their first without anyone being around, the two of them completely alone. It was addicting to say the least.
The kettle hissed and they were reluctant to part. When they did, Luke finished up, handing her a mug as they settled into the living room to talk quietly.
“So, we could leave the day after next." Luke said. "Clary is already settled at my place. And I’ve already salvaged some of your things.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay longer? I wouldn’t mind, if you wanted more time with Amatis.” Jocleyn said.
Luke smiled softly. “That might be nice. I’ll have to ask her. But now that we're...well, good again, I’ll have more opportunities to see her.”
“I’m so happy for you, being able to get a part of your family back.”
“I missed her, I tried so hard not to. I definitely never thought I’d be get her back.” Luke said, an old saddness in his voice, though his face revealed nothing but hope for the future. "I suppose I have Clary to thank for that. I suppose I have Clary to thank for a lot of things." He reached between them and took her hand in his for the hundreth time that night. "I missed you. everything was so hectic, I never got to tell you.”
Jocelyn squeezed his hand. "And I never got to thank you. For taking care of Clary, and looking after me.”
“There’s nothing to thank me for.” Luke said sincerely, looking as if he had more to say without knowing how to say it, a rare thing for him.
“You saved Clary's life and risked yours while I couldn't do anything. Of course I have to thank you.”
“You would have done the same, if you were in my place." Luke began. "I feel…I don’t need you to thank me because it wasn’t a choice for me, like it wouldn’t be a choice for you. I would give my life for Clary, and you, without a second thought.”
“You already have” Jocelyn said, looking straight into his eyes, unwavering. “I love you, and you’re the closest thing to a father Clary has ever had. I want to thank you for that, too.”
“Thank you for letting me be in her life." Luke said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and holding her tightly to his side. "I meant it when I said you've given me the best years of my life. You and Clary."
Moments like these were rare between them, or at least, they had been. Over the years, they’d resigned to talking as little as possible about anything involving the Invisible World, including their unresolved feelings towards their wounded memories. But in this moment, everything could fall away. There was nothing to hide from any longer, and they both felt an enormous weight lifted off their shoulders as they talked and listened. It was almost as if they were talking for the first time in twenty years.
Eventually, they both were too tired to stay up any longer. Setting her empty mug on the coffee table, Jocelyn took Luke’s hand and got up, directing him towards the guest room she’d been staying in. Luke didn’t say a word, but his eyes are downcast. He’s almost too tired, too old and too relieved for the fact that Jocelyn wanted them to sleep in the same bed tonight to make himself nervous. He only took off his shoes and shirt, closed his eyes and was nearly dead to the world before Jocelyn lay down beside him, folding a blanket over them both and curling up to his side. He met her hand on his chest and felt her lips meet the corner of his before she rested her head on his shoulder.
When he woke up hours later, the sun was shining through the thin curtains and he could smell breakfast being made. He felt Jocelyn’s warmth still at his side, her hand somehow still in his. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept without tossing and turning.
He heard her stir as well, her breathing changing, her heartbeat quickening slightly. She only moved closer to him, grumbling something about it being too early. Luke smiled, completely surprised with how normal this felt. He was almost afraid to fully wake her, because maybe last night was all just a dream.
So he rolled to his side, easily wrapping Jocelyn in his arms and kissed her gently up her jawline until he noticed her eyes flutter open. She was smiling and moved her hands to rest on his shoulder and in his hair.
“Morning.” She said before pulling him down for a chaste kiss.
He hummed against her lips and kissed her a few times before pulling away. “I could get used to waking up like this.” He sighed, “Though I‘m sure we’d both like a little more sleep.”
"So come here." She said, bringing hi down beside her and snuggling into him. "Just stay with me for a little longer."
"Always." He whispered into her hair, drifting back off into a half sleep.