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The feelings are new to him. Cas has been human for a couple of days now, and he is still adjusting to those new sentiments.
The warmth on his face when he’s outside in the sun. The cold he feels on his lips when he drinks water directly from the tap. That time when he ate pasta and they were still so hot that his tongue burned a little.
The feelings he gets when he hears a certain song, or a certain melody. He certainly feels something when he grabs an item made in different materials : iron, plastic, glass, whatsoever. He could make the difference before of course, but now, he feels the differences.
When he was an angel, he could drink as much as he wanted. It was hard for him to get drunk. He knows that, he tried, once. But now, he feels dizzy when he gets to his second beer. He could feel when the weather changes, his knuckles hurt, now. This is a strange feeling, by the way. He doesn’t like it. Not more like that time when he tried to lift something and it was big. So big he couldn’t lift it. Also, it made his back hurt.
Damn it Cas, he thought.
But what he likes now that he feels, is that he could feel happiness when he listens to the birds singing, the bees buzzing, the fish bubbling. The joy he feels when he looks at the flowers, the trees, the sky. He felt before, but not like this. It is more powerful now. The feeling he gets, it’s just a billion times harder than what he was used to.
Now he understands what it’s like to be like those fishes walking on the earth. It’s hard. It’s painful. It’s horribly beautiful.
Today is a good day. He smiles. It’s sunny outside. People come to him asking for service. He feels happy. He’s useful but in a good way, he feels that. He smiles again, head down, because what could customers think if they saw a man smile for nothing? He feels ashamed to smile like an idiot, but it’s a feeling and it makes him happy in a way he could not describe. He feels happy for being ashamed. Strange, isn’t it? Yeah, what the hell.
He raises his head to welcome the next customer. He pauses. He froze. He never felt that. The feelings he gets at this moment couldn’t be written. It is ten thousand times more than the previous billion times.
What the hell was that?
His heart hurts. He hardly feels his legs. His hands are moist. His head is dizzy. He feels tears in his eyes. Those feelings are powerful. Too much for a human, he thinks. He could have sworn that he already knew how to feel this specific feeling. Guess he was wrong.
Today, he learned a new feeling.
“Dean ?” he said.
When this guy popped up, he felt the power, he felt humanity, he felt the beauty of the man in front of him.
Today, in a human way, he felt love.