Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Bucky listened to the sounds of New York from his apartment. He could hear the squeaking of car brakes, the engines of trucks as they stopped and went by the green and red stoplights. Occasionally shouting. His phone buzzed by him again. He knew who was calling. The only person who calls the phone. Telemarketers don’t even call his phone. Sighing he picked it up.

“Hello.” He said.

“Well, you do exist!” Sam responded. “Was your phone broken or are you just brooding in your apartment?”

Bucky just glared.

“You know your staring problem doesn’t work as much if the other person can’t see you. I have a mission, Hydra base. Felt it was right up your alley. I could use the back up.” Sam said, upbeat.

“When and where.” Bucky responded.

Sam said “Meet me at the airport and we are going to fly out to Mississippi. Reports of Hydra activity were rumored to be in some small remote town.”

Sounded like fun to Bucky since it had been a while since he had destroyed anything Hydra. “I will be there.” Bucky said and hung up the phone without even a goodbye. Bucky stood up from the floor and ran his hand through his long hair. He needed to shower, shave, maybe even cut his hair. He went to the bathroom, turned the water on as hot as it would go. He put his hand under the shower stream, feeling it heat up and then went to get the disposable razor and a pair of scissors. He started to shave the long stubble on his face, using the mirror to ensure he shaved cleanly. The mirror started to fog from the shower, making it harder to see. He nicked his chin, blood started spotting from the wound. He didn’t flinch, but dabbed the spot away with some toilet paper. He looked back into the mirror which had fogged up completely. He remembered a view like this before. A memory started tugging at his mind. His vision started narrowing and the bathroom started getting out of focus. He was in a tube. He tried to get out. He had pounded his fists from inside on the window that looked out. Men in lab coats leered at him, making notes in notepads, laughing at his attempt to escape. He tried to escape, but then he felt cold, freezing. He was frozen again inside the tube.

Inhaling sharply, he snapped back to where he was. He tried to calm himself, his heart bursting out of his chest. He was in New York. This wasn’t Siberia. He wasn’t being frozen. He took some more breaths, shakily. He listened to the water from the shower, and felt the steam on his face. He grabbed the mirror with both hands, ripping it from the wall. He placed it inside of his bedroom closet. He finished shaving blind and jumped into the shower. After cleaning the week's old grime out of his hair and body he exited the shower. Next, he focused on cutting his hair, the sink filling up with brunette locks. He ran his hand through his hair, feeling the lengths with just his flesh hand. He ran the shower again, quickly rinsing off the remaining hair strands.

Bucky grabbed his jacket and gear and left his empty apartment.

Sam waved to him from the tarmac, already suited up in his Captain America gear. Bucky was still grateful the Wakandians had the generosity to provide this to Sam, seeing how Bucky was on their shit list. He pushed the thought away, not wanting to think of how wonderful Wakanda was and how he can not go back to it now if he wanted. Maybe in the future but that bridge was burned for now. Bucky plastered a smile on his face and gave Sam a two fingered salute and climbed aboard the military plane along with him. Torres was already inside, Starkpad in hand, going over some of the details.

Bucky listened partly to the conversation as Torres gave the rundown. Hydra base, baddies inside, try not to destroy everything, blah blah blah. Bucky knew the drill. When Torres started talking about a new weapon Bucky turned back into the conversation.

“It’s an unknown weapon and it can either do a little damage or a lot of damage. A substantial number of researchers and scientists are being called into the site so whatever it is, it can't be good.They take them in there 2 at a time only. Those are the targets we need to interrogate, so keep them alive at least. They should be centered around here” Torres said, showing the floor plan of the Hydra base in a room located in the middle of the base. Bucky wasn’t familiar with this base. Hydra had so many they would probably be kicking down Hydra’s base doors for years to come. Hydra scientists and researchers weren’t on Bucky’s favorite people list; regular scientists and researchers gave him anxiety but Hydra ones were the worst. Set off memories he would rather forget if he could.

Bucky blinked and pushed incoming thoughts away. He reviewed the newest objective, get to the new weapon and it’s plans first, hopefully the weapon is not operational, don’t blow up the base, save some people for interrogation. That suited Bucky just fine. He was done with killing, even Hydra agents.

Sam was nodding along to Torres as he spoke and once Torres was done with the plan he locked the Starkpad, Bucky getting a glimpse of the Stark logo on the save screen. Bucky had a twinge of unresolved guilt but tried pushing that away too. Tony died saving the universe, a hero. Bucky never did connect with Tony to make reparations for his actions as the Winter Soldier. But he never knew where to start. How do you apologize for killing someone’s parents? Bucky had been in awe of Howard Stark. Looked up to him a bit with his inventions and ideas. Howard gave Steve his shield, helped Steve start on his path to be Captain America. Worked with the Howling Commandoes bringing down Nazi’s and Hydra. As repayment for Howard’s help during the war, Bucky murdered him in front of his wife and then murdered his wife. He was the Winter Soldier at the time but it was still he who did it.

When Sam and Bucky stopped the Flagsmashers, and Sam handed the senator’s asses to them about needing to be and do better, Bucky returned to New York. The discussion with Sam back in Louisiana still ringing in his head to do the work, not Avenge. Bucky headed for Yuri’s apartment and knocked on his door. He managed to apologize to Yuri for murdering his son and told him that it was his fault, but that he didn’t have a choice. Bucky believed that then but, as time wore on, Bucky once again started thinking he did have a choice. He could have fought Hydra longer, and tried harder to escape.

Bucky should have gone to Tony, offered him a weapon and offered for Tony to do what he felt was best. But Tony died before Bucky even approached the subject. He would never be able to cross Tony off his list of reparations. Bucky would have to live with the fact that Tony’s parents are just another stain on his ever stained soul that he would never cleanse.

Taking a deep inhale he nodded to Torres and Sam and sat in the far corner of the plane checking his weapons and knife stock. He flexed his shoulder with the vibranium arm, causing the arm to make a slight whirring sound. Sam came over and sat down next to Bucky. “Doing alright there cyborg?” Sam asked in a friendly tone.

Bucky shifted slightly away from Sam, avoiding their arms touching. He didn’t trust he wouldn’t flinch. Not that he had anything against Sam…..well that wasn’t entirely true. Their friendship is the oddest thing Bucky has ever experienced. But the proximity of Sam near him, his arm almost touching Bucky’s, anyone’s proximity or touch just set his skin crawling. Touch turned violent and painful quickly in his experience. Although he trusted Sam, they fought many times together at this point, touch still was not high on Bucky’s list, even from Sam. He tried to keep a lid on it, not wanting Sam to think it was anything against him personally. Touch just made Bucky flinch, freeze, heart race in panic. He just wanted to avoid it at all cost if possible.

“Yep.” Bucky said, popping the P at the end of ‘yep.’ Sam looked at Bucky expectantly.

“That’s it….yep?” Sam asked incredulously, eyebrows raised.
Bucky nodded.

Sam would continually text Bucky or call to keep up the line of communication. Bucky would respond in the beginning but as time wore on, Bucky did so less and less.

“It’s been months since the flag smashers. Hardly any word from you but when I call about a Hydra base you answer right away. What have you been up to these past months man? And give me more than just “stuff”’ Sam said, knowing what Bucky was going to respond with.

Bucky closed his mouth and stopped himself from saying ‘stuff’ and instead looked away from Sam. “Visited Steve’s grave.” Bucky responded flatly.

Sam nodded solemnly. A couple of months ago they got word their mutual friend passed away in his sleep peacefully. His funeral was beautiful, touching, all that a funeral should be. Sam gave a eulogy, pressed hands with the press, and tried to keep up a strong stoic face but, once they started to lower Steve into the ground he broke and cried. Once pictures swirled around the internet of the new Captain America crying the internet split from him being a wuss to him being brave and strong. Focusing more on Sam than on Steve’s legacy.

Sam took a deep breath. “It was a great service honoring him. But I didn’t see you there. I couldn’t find where you lived or I would have busted your door down.” Sam tried to catch Bucky’s eye which it seemed Bucky was avoiding at all costs. “I figured you had your reasons for not coming.” Sam said.

“I was there.” Bucky responded, now looking at a very interesting spot on the floor of the plane. “Crowds……you know..” Bucky said trailing off.

Sam looked at Bucky taking in his appearance. He looked to have lost more weight than before with his cheeks getting a hollow look to them. It seemed he shaved and showered before this mission but Sam wasn’t sure how much Bucky was keeping up on that on his own. His eyes still held that ever present exhaustion and his hair, still short, had the look of “I cut this myself” style to it. Sam was getting the feeling Bucky had not been interacting with society much yet again. With his new Captain America duties to uphold, he felt guilty for letting his promise to Steve slide a bit. He had thought Bucky was doing better after the Flagsmashers but it seems Steve’s death pushed Bucky into a major setback. Sam knew mental healing is not linear and setbacks will happen. Sometimes they are minor. Sometimes, like now, they are major. Sam had some work to do after this mission.

Sam nodded. “Yeah, they can be a bitch. But just wished you had called, texted, wrote a letter or some shit they did back in your day to say “hey, what’s up? Ok i am going back to brooding. Bye.”

“I don’t brood.” Bucky said sullenly looking back toward Sam, but not meeting Sam’s eyes. Sam flagged this away and added it to his ‘Bucky to do list.’ First time they saved Bucky he refused to meet strangers in the eyes, having a hard time even meeting Steve’s. Some leftover Hydra training bullshit. This was telling Sam how far Bucky was slipping backwards. He remembered Bucky at the docks during the Flagsmashers situation. He was talking to strangers, bringing cake, his nephews swinging on his vibranium arm. This Bucky was a far cry from that Bucky.

Sam snorted “Sure. That’s believable.” He paused and looked over to Torres who was by the pilots talking about the location to land. Torres looked over to Sam giving him the signal they were almost there. “Well Sarah and the boys have been asking about you. After this is done, why don’t you come down to Louisiana with me. We can take the boat out, fish, and throw a nephew into the water. What do you say?”

Bucky shrugged non-committal. “Free reign to flirt with your sister?” He asked with a ghost of a sly smile.

“I will push your ass right out of this plane. Never ever ever will you get free reign…ever….like…..ever.” Sam responded standing up to walk toward the side of the plane. The side door opened and the cold air whipped them in the faces as it came into the cabin. Sam adjusted his suit’s wings and handed Bucky a chute. Bucky stared at it questionly.

“You can take this or I can carry you down.” Sam said.

Bucky gave Sam an angry stare and looked out the edge of the plane at the ground below. He looked back to Sam and said “Chute will take too long and might be seen.” And with that he jumped backwards out of the plane and the last thing Sam saw was Bucky giving him that same two fingered salute he saw on the tarmac. Sam sighed heavily and gave the chute to Torres and Torres said, “So super soldiers, are they all just crazy or is it just those Brooklyn types?”

“I have no idea but whatever the reason they are just reckless.” Sam said. He jumped out the plane and sped down to the rendezvous point on the ground below. He waited and Bucky came out of the brush, not making any noise which always impressed Sam considering the dry leaves and foliage around them. “Feel like a badass?” Sam said as a way of a greeting. “Chutes are a great invention. Should use them more often. None of this ‘I am a super soldier I can live jumping out of a plane bullshit.’”

Bucky just shrugged, confused as to Sam’s anger. It’s not like he can’t heal fast. Jumping was quicker and any injuries would either heal quickly or he would ignore until the mission was complete. It wasn’t the worst he has experienced, he recalled a mission he completed with a broken leg. They walked silently toward the backend of the base. Sam used the goggles on his suit as binoculars and saw two Hydra guards at the back door.

“Ok, there are two guards up by the door. I can’t view inside the building as whatever they are using right now is blocking any way of scanning. I say we knock out the two guards quietly, tie them up. They should have a key card on them for us to open the back door and sneak in. Sound good?…Buck?” Sam turned off the goggles and looked to his side where Bucky had been. “Shit.” Sam said. He turned the goggles back on, knowing where he would find Bucky. The guards were already knocked out, tied up, and the door was open. Bucky slipped inside and all Sam could see was one arm out the door frame motioning him to enter.

Sam walked into the Hydra base and met up with Bucky. “Really?” He asked Bucky.

“Sounded like a good plan.” Bucky said.

“I didn’t even finish telling you the plan before you just went all solo on me. In case you forgot, we are a team. Duo. Coworkers. We do this shit together.” Sam told Bucky, getting irritated. Bucky nodded at Sam simply, plastered a fake smile on his face, and waved his hand in front of his body giving the universal “after you” gesture. They continued through the base, knocking out guards along the way quietly. They made their way to the last room where the unknown weapon was reportedly being stored. Sam saw two scientists working in the room. They were adjusting what looked like a ‘ray gun’ but Sam was sure it wasn’t as simple as that. They could take both of them out easily. He motioned for Bucky to enter the room once both scientists were away from the weapon. Bucky stepped foot into the room and all hell broke loose. Sirens and lights started going and more Hydra agents could be heard converging to their location.

Sam and Bucky both jumped into the room but the scientists were faster and started shooting, having been armed themselves. Bucky fired back with his weapons and knives trying to disarm the scientists but he could not get a good shot off at his angle. Two hydra agents came into the room and aimed for Bucky and Sam. Both dodged their attacks and dove behind some cabinets.

“Great plan. Love it. Everyone is so well contained. Think they are ready to surrender yet?” Bucky shouted to Sam over the loud noise of the continuing gun fire. Sam rolled his eyes at Buck and listened. Once it sounded like a reload Sam stood up and started firing. He was able to shoot one of the hydra agents and Bucky, also standing, was able to get to the other. The scientists had spent their rounds and had their hands up in surrender.

“See? Surrendering.” Sam said. “It’s contained.” Sam aimed the guns at the scientists and motioned for them to come around the desk. One stayed behind, not moving. The scientist looked to the weapon and quickly flipped a switch. The ray gun turned on and Bucky shouted to Sam to get down. Before Sam could move he saw a flash of light and felt something hit him to the ground, knocking the back of his head to the concrete floor.

Dazed, Sam opened his eyes and took in the ceiling above him, covered in smoke from the still recent gun fire. He slowly tried to sit up, his head pounding, the flashing lights, and siren were not helping. He saw a blur and noticed the scientists bolt out of the room. He stumbled to go after them but tripped over something in his path. He looked at what it was. At first glance it was a black fur ball in clothes. Sam took a closer look and saw it was a dog….a large dog unconscious. He looked around and tried to find Bucky.

“Bucky!” He shouted not seeing him anywhere.

He looked at the dog closer as it layed in a heap of clothing. Sam slowly picked up the clothing and saw it was Bucky’s. He lifted the jacket off the dog and the first thing Sam noticed was the vibranium arm lying next to the dog. And the dog was missing a leg.

“Bucky?” Sam asked, confused.

Bucky started coming around, his body feeling heavy and painful. He started taking in his surroundings and trying to pull himself together and remember. He and Sam were asked to go out and infiltrate a Hydra base. They infiltrated. There was a ray gun aimed at Sam. Bucky pushed Sam out of harm's way and the light hit him instead. Then black.

He heard a faint “Bucky?” He groaned and attempted to sit up but found his limbs not quite working as they should. He tried to tense his vibranium arm but he didn’t feel the appendage. Bucky started to come more to his senses and opened his eyes. He looked up at Sam who was very close to his face looking horrified. Bucky gave Sam an inquisitive look and attempted to say “What’s with the face?” When all that came out was a growl and a bark. Startled, Bucky looked back at Sam’s face, now mirroring Sam’s horrified expression.

“….Bucky?” Sam asked again.

Chapter Text

Bucky looked down and saw instead of his hands there was one paw. He attempted to stand up and back away from his own feet it seems but, not coordinated in this new body, he stumbled backwards and fell over.

“Easy Bucky, easy. Take it slow ok. Just…just hang tight ok..” Sam said, trying to calm Bucky’s growing panic. Bucky tried to get up again but ended up tripping over his three legs and paws and fell forward onto his chin. Sam walked over and attempted to help Bucky up but once Sam touched Bucky on the good shoulder Bucky instantly growled and turned on Sam, biting his forearm hard. Sam yelped in pain and backed away but quickly composed himself.

“Bucky, I’m sorry, that was my fault ok. I went too fast and didn’t give you time to adjust ok. I know right now you are feeling very out of sorts? Ok?” Sam said, instantly kicking himself. He knew Bucky had a thing with touch and added to fast movement in his panicked state WHILE being a dog…just too much for any human….or animal…or anything. Sam checked on his arm and saw it was bleeding from four puncture holes but it wasn’t too bad. He looked back at Bucky who saw the bleeding as well. Bucky looked down in shame and gave a little whine.

“It’s fine alright, we are going to take this slowly alright. Then we are going to get out of here and find out how to fix all this ok. But you are going to have to relax a bit and take things slow.” Sam placed both hands in front of him and talked calmly to Bucky. He didn’t move toward Bucky, giving Bucky some time to collect himself. “I am going to need for you to breathe with me alright?” He said. He took in some breaths and made the ‘inhale’ motion with his hand and the ‘exhale’ motion with his hand.

Bucky mirrored his breathing and then found himself a bit calmer and the room less panicking.

“Alright. So taking it all in, that ray gun seems to be some sort of….human to dog converter gun? You got hit with it, knocking me out of the way. You are now a 3 legged dog.” Sam said, recapping more for his sake to center his thinking. “How about we try sitting up, huh?”

Bucky pushed himself up with his right leg and was able to get into a sitting position. He attempted to move his left shoulder out of habit having the arm there but just ended up moving the muscles fruitlessly since the arm was lying on the other side of the room.

“Ok, good Bucky. Want to try standing up?” Sam asked.

Bucky nodded and put his weight on his right leg. Shakily, he used his back legs to push himself to stand. Sam nodded encouragingly. “There we go. Let’s try walking when you are ready.”

Bucky stood still, standing and unsure. Everything felt so different, so alien to him. This wasn’t how he was planning his day going. He pictured actually flying back maybe with Sam as the craziest ending to today. Not trying to walk on 3 legs as a dog. He tried to steady the slight trembling in his legs and hide this weakness. He shifted his weight to his back legs and hopped with his right leg forward. He alternated legs and found his rhythm and was able to make it across the room. He headed toward his arm which laid on the floor. He pushed it with his nose and gave a soft whine. He shook his head, pissed. Twice now he has whined uncontrollably. It was making him angry and showing weakness. He looked over at Sam who walked over and picked up the arm and his clothes.

“Let’s get out of here. Call Torres, see if we can get someone to look at this gun…maybe Bruce can find a way to reverse this? Think you can make it out of here. Need me to…maybe…carry..you?” Sam said, moving toward the doorway. Bucky gave him the biggest “fuck you” face a dog could muster and started toward the doorway as well. Sam walked beside him and contacted Torres.

They headed toward the plane to where it landed and traveled in silence back to New York leaving a team behind to scour the Hydra Base and bring back the Dog Ray Gun. Bucky was the furthest from everyone as he could be on the plane. Sam attempted to approach him but was met with either scowling disdain or lip curling growling. Sam gave Bucky some space after that until they were almost to New York.

“I just got off with Bruce. He is arriving at the Avenger’s compound soon and Dr Strange is already there. We need to meet up with them soon as we land so they can take a look at the Dog Ray Gun and…maybe give you a look over as well.” Sam said having changed out of his Captain America gear and into a simple olive green Henley and black pants. Bucky noticed none of this since he was still in the same position he was in when they first boarded the plane, intently staring at the metal floor of the aircraft. His ears backed flat to his skull when Sam mentioned giving him a look over as well. His lip curled and he felt the growl low in his throat. He stopped it at once and forced his ears to go back up and his lip to uncurl. He closed his eyes and gave a heavy sigh. Everything was just too much right now. The thought of being back into a room with medical equipment just set him on edge.

“I know…you don’t find that ideal Bucky. But it may help in reversing this. I will be right there with you the whole time and Buck…. can you look at me right quick?” Sam asked. Bucky lifted his head from the floor and looked at Sam’s nose. Sam ducked his head a little and Bucky met Sam’s eyes for the first time in months. Sam looked directly back into Bucky’s eyes, conveying as much as he could he was there for Bucky. Sam saw Bucky’s eyes closed off, shutting him out as much as he could but Sam could still see the fear that was so evident in Bucky’s posture that he was trying to hide. Sam locked eyes with Bucky, keeping his posture neutral, and said, “They are not Hydra. This is not Hydra. This team cares about you and just wants to get you back to your brooding, sunshiny self. I will be with you the entire time.”

Bucky stared at Sam for a beat more and just looked away. Sam left it at that.

They landed on the tarmac and saw a car waiting. The driver took them directly to the Avenger’s Compound where Bruce and Dr Strange were standing out front waiting for them. They exchanged greetings with Sam while Bucky stayed some distance away from the group. They weren’t part of the ‘Civil War’ as the news had called it but obviously worked more closely with Tony then he had. Why would they welcome an ex-hydra assassin who murdered their friend’s parents? Dr. Strange and Sam kept talking, catching up, when Bruce broke away from the conversation and approached Bucky.

“We didn’t really get properly introduced, because of…a lot of things actually. My name is Bruce Banner.” He extended his extremely large green hand. Bucky remembered this guy. He was the scientist whose experiment blew in his own face causing him to become a large green ‘Hulk.’ Sometime during the blip the Hulk and Bruce merged and found peace. Bucky wondered briefly if he would ever come to that level with the Winter Soldier. He doubted it. Bucky hesitatingly extended his own hand…paw….foot? Bruce took it gently and shook it. “We have something in common actually. We both had gamma radiation for our enhancement. I mean…. Different results….obviously….” Bruce said awkwardly.

Sam and Dr. Strange came over and Sam said, “Ready?”

They all headed inside the compound. Sam, Dr. Strange and Bruce all walk with purpose one gets when they know a place well. Bucky treaded lightly, trying to pick up his toenails so they would not make a sound on the hard flooring, followed along behind. Sam slowed to walk beside Bucky and talked low so only he could hear.

“It’s going to be fine, Bucky.” He said encouragingly. Sam wasn’t sure but, in dog form at least, Bucky seemed to not have the same control over his demeanor as he did in human form. It took a while but Sam figured out Bucky’s tells in human form but it took a long while. The tensing of the vibranium arm was when he was unsure, the clasping of his hands in front of him while he was sitting was when he was highly uncomfortable, the clenching of his jaw was when he wanted to say something but didn’t because the hydra training of always remaining silent overrode his own desire.

Bucky was good at hiding emotions. But in dog form at least, he lost much of that. His tail was tucked, his shoulders were hunched and his head was low. He was keeping his nails off the floor trying to be as small and quiet as possible. He just gave off all signals of an uncomfortable, scared puppy. To which Sam was NEVER going to let on to Bucky that he was viewing him right now as a scared puppy. Nope. He wasn’t entirely sure Bucky wouldn’t kill him if he told him that.

Bucky meanwhile just flicked his ear at Sam’s attempt at encouragement and kept walking. They all went into a room with a large table, several chairs, A/V equipment, basically your standard meeting room. Each sat down in a chair at the head of the table close to each other. Bucky attempted to jump up onto a chair to join them next to Sam. He placed his right paw on the front of the chair and attempted to steady it but of course they just had to be swivel chairs. He kept trying to steady it to jump up as the rest of them looked at him but was not having an easy time with it. He was still learning his new body.

Sam reached to hold the chair and Bucky snapped his teeth at him giving him a clear signal he didn’t want his help. Sam put his hands up in a “fine, go for it” motion. Bucky leapt off the floor and landed in the chair. With some wobbling and chair swiveling he was able to sit on the chair and look at everyone. Sam gave one last look to Bucky and filled Strange and Bruce in with what had occurred.

“It’s not magic.” Strange said “At least from what you're describing.”

“Has to be some serum or maybe alien tech. I can place a call to Thor and see if he has heard of anything like this.” Bruce said. “The Dog Ray, I guess we are calling it, should be here soon. I can take a look at it with Peter. See what we can do to reverse its effects. Unless you like being a dog?” Bruce looked directly at Bucky, eyebrows raised.

Bucky huffed at Bruce in annoyance. Bruce smiled at Bucky.

“Why a dog though?” Bruce asked the group. “What is the purpose of that. Hydra is insane but they have a purpose in mind with what they do.”

Sam shrugged. “I have been trying to think of a reason this whole time but I am coming up empty.”

“It can't be ‘just turn someone into a dog.’ Either the machine isn’t ready or the transition isn’t complete.” Bruce said. “Lots of unknowns. It’s going to make it hard, especially since we can’t communicate with Sergeant Barnes.”

“I might be able to do something in the meantime.” Strange said. “Once you told me what happened I was reminded of a spell where, at the least, someone can hear what Sergeant Barnes is saying. But there are some catches….as always.”

“What sort of catches?” Sam asked. Bucky looked on intently.

“Well, it can only be one person. It would be Bucky interacting with that one person telepathically so, at times, unfiltered thoughts may ‘leak’ through. The person who is chosen, whoever it is, would only be able to speak to Bucky out loud…and this has never been done on a dog.” Strange said.

“What would happen if it fails,” Sam asked.

“You both would explode.” Strange said.

Sam and Bucky stared at Strange.

“Kidding! Worst case you would just be in a coma for a few months. Nothing too bad.” Strange said, smiling.

“Oh yeah great. Just a coma.” Sam said. Bucky growled and narrowed his eyes at Strange. He hated doctors. He was hating this one for an entirely new reason however. This doctor was an ass.

Sam looked to Bucky and back to Bruce and Strange. “Can you guys give us a minute?” Strange and Bruce nodded and left giving them some privacy.

“Unless you had anyone else in mind, I was going to volunteer to be your…hype man if you will.” Sam said to Bucky. And Bucky, honest to god, tilted his head to the side as if to say “what?”

Sam snorted and said “A hype man. An advocate basically. I am volunteering to be your translator.”

Bucky stared at Sam, thinking over the offer. If it failed this would mean that would put Sam into a coma or worse, and if Strange was wrong what else could it do to Sam? The same thing would happen to him but that would mean Sam would be pulled away from his family even more. Not five years but a few months in a coma isn’t a short time. What if it killed Sam, leaving Sarah and the boys on their own? Bucky lowered his head down, torn between wanting to have some sort of communication other than “doggy charades” and not waiting to cost Sam’s family any more time from him. Let alone the entire world from Captain America.

“Look,” Sam said, knowing where Bucky’s line of thinking was going. “I don’t think this is going to go south. I think the benefits outweigh the costs. I am in. Are you though?”

Bucky looked at Sam in the eyes and he hoped he wouldn’t have Sam’s life on his soul along with the countless others. Bucky nodded his head. Sam motioned for Strange and Bruce to come back in. Strange walked to the side of the room away from the table and chairs and motioned for Sam and Bucky to stand in front of him next to each other. Centering himself, Strange inhaled sharply and moved his hands. Yellow/orange light followed his movements making circles and slashes. Strange kept the movements going up, down, sideways, across and finally he flung his hands toward Sam and Bucky. The force hit them both at the same time, flinging them backwards and tumbling.

“Warning please next time Strange.” Sam said. He picked himself up.

“What the ever loving FUCK!” Bucky shouted, picking himself off the floor and getting on all legs, hackles raised. “This shit head is a psycho.”

“Easy Bucky,” Sam said. “He isn’t a psycho. Just…”

Bucky and Sam looked at each other.

“Ah good, it seems it works. That is a relief. I had been wanting to try that spell for a while but felt guilty trying it on civilians. Welp, my work here is done. Call me when you are a human again and I can remove the spell.” With that, he turned and left.

“He definitely lives up to his name of Strange.” Bruce said about Dr. Strange as he looked to the door Strange just left out of. Bruce turned back to Sam and Bucky. “So, is the Dog Radio working well?” He asked.

“I heard Bucky’s ‘voice’ earlier. Bucky, say something else.” Sam said.

Bucky stared at Sam annoyingly. “Woof.” He said.

Sam gave Bucky an “are you serious” look but told Bruce “it's working

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Chapter 3

“Great,” Bruce said, pulling up a chair and motioning for Bucky to come sit in front of him. Sam sat behind Bruce, but stayed in Bucky’s direct eyeline. Bruce turned to Bucky giving him his full attention. “Now, would you like to be called Bucky? James? Sargeant? How would you like for me to address you.” Bruce asked.

Bucky stared at Bruce and thought don’t give me choices. Just call me whatever. Should I say Bucky? Maybe James? James seems odd if Sam is going around calling me Bucky.

“He is sometimes fine with Bucky.” Sam said. Bucky turned to Sam. “Yeah, I can hear your rambles now. I am all up in your cyborg head.”

Bucky did his best to shut down his brain. He hadn’t meant for that to go to Sam. This telepathy thing was going to be tricky.

“Sounds good. Bucky then.” Bruce said, smiling. “Now I get you have a ….concern….around doctors and equipment. I fully understand that so I want to make this quick, painless, and the least anxiety inducing as possible. So, to explain a few things, I need to do a full body scan. Particularly of your brain so we can see what we are dealing with.”

Bucky heard what Bruce was saying. His mind however went to another place, the darker place. He saw the chair, he saw Zola. He could hear and smell the electricity of the halo coming down. His body started to give a slight tremble and whispers of distressed ‘no no no’ were heard by Sam.

“Maybe…” Sam interrupted, “You could explain this brain scanning device a bit more?” Bucky snapped back to the present.

Bruce, catching on to Sam’s meaning, said “it's new and actually really nice. It’s a wand basically. I just wave it over your head and it scans. So no need for those MRI tubes. Think of me like a sorcerer…or a wizard. Wingardum Brain Scany-osa.”

“Ok” Bucky said. Sam repeated Bucky’s comment to Bruce.

“You look like a dog…obviously…. but the scans could tell us more.” Bruce continued on. “We will need to take some blood as well. After that you are free to go until we get more info on the device. Speaking of the device, maybe I should call the Wakandians and get their take on it…” Bucky barked, interrupting Bruce.

“No, not the Wakandians. I have caused them enough harm.” Bucky said. Sam turned to Bruce and told him “The Wakandians need a bit of time to breathe, having just caught Zemo recently. Maybe we contact them as a last resort.”

Bruce turned around and looked at Sam, questioningly, but nodded. He was wanting to ask more but decided to just stay on task. He got up to get his equipment he had left in the corner of the room and sat back down in front of Bucky. He showed Bucky the brain scanning wand and Bucky resisted the urge to sniff it. “Ok, all you need to do is stand right there,” Bruce said. “Then I will just wave this over you and the scans will go directly to my PC. I can review everything and get back to you all.”

Bucky felt his heart start racing and was hoping that would not get picked up by the wand. He nodded to Bruce to give him the go ahead wanting to get this over with and get the hell out of here. Bruce turned the device on and Bucky sat still, eyes closed trying not to pant with anxiety.

Please don’t hurt anyone by reacting. Bucky thought to himself. Just sit still, that is all you have to do. Just sit still and this will be over soon. This isn’t Hydra… this isn’t Hydra. No pain here. They won’t lock you in a cell, you can leave if you want. You can walk out the door and no one would stop you. You have to do this. You have to do this!

“Bruce, did I ever tell you about the time my dad and a groundhog had a feud?” Sam asked. He was not getting all of Bucky’s thoughts but some were filtering in and they were loud and clear enough.

“How do you feud with a groundhog?” Bruce asked, chuckling.

“Simple, he wouldn’t die. This groundhog was eating up the garden, chewing on wires on the cars, oh my gawd! The shouting and rage from my old man over this fuzzy, chubby, creature could have been heard states over. Couldn’t shoot the thing. Dad was never a great shot and my mother would have had his head. So, he tried leaving poison out and the groundhog just wouldn’t eat it. He tried poisoning some carrots and potatoes, mixing it with non-poisoned carrots and potatoes. The groundhog just ate the non-poisoned food. Finally, my dad tracked where this groundhog lived to some hollowed out tree in the wee hours of the morning. Once he found the groundhog inside, he filled the hole up with concrete. Once the concrete set, he came walking home feeling victorious. My mother was PISSED when she found out. She made my dad go back out there in the dead of night to drill through the concrete so the groundhog could get out. Dad came to find the damn groundhog chewed right on through the concrete burrowing out his escape.” As Sam told the story he watched Bucky intently. He saw Bucky’s tension slowly draining from his shoulders and his eyes opened and listening intently to the story. The story seemed to be doing the trick, distracting Bucky.

Bruce started laughing at the image of the groundhog chewing through concrete.

“So what ended up happening? Did he resort to C4?” Bruce asked, almost done with the scan on Bucky having moved past his head and onto the rest of his body.

“Alligator. Came up and ate the groundhog in two bites. Like it was some snack.” Sam said, chuckling at the memory.

Bruce joined in the laughter and said “Ok, next bit is just a quick blood draw.” Bruce laid out the blood drawing equipment on the table next to them. “Bucky,” Bruce said, getting Bucky’s attention back on him. Bucky’s eyes drifted to the blood drawing equipment and started panting. “This will be very quick, we are ok to start. When you are ready, hand over your paw…foot….”

I am not fucking made of glass just get it over with. Bucky said, sitting on his back legs and lifting his front leg up for Bruce to take the blood from.

“He’s good.” Sam said.

Bruce reached for Bucky’s paw, noticing the flinch once he touched his paw but maintained his calm and continued to be gentle. Continuing on, he moved the needle and inserted it into Bucky’s leg. He inserted the vial and Bucky’s blood filled it quickly. Once he was done he removed the vial and needle and went to put a bandage on the wound. Bucky yanked his paw away before Bruce could apply a bandage, muttered “thanks,” and started heading for the door.

“Welp, that should do it! Now all you guys have to do is wait….and stay out of trouble. I say that knowing you won’t listen but hey, at least I said it.” Bruce put the wand and equipment away.

“Thanks Bruce and Bucky gives his thanks as well!” Sam said, shaking his hand. “Stay in touch.” With that he followed Bucky out of the room, running to catch up to him.

Sam found Bucky outside the Avenger compound, sitting and staring off at the sun setting. He walked up next to him, hands in pockets and watched the sunset with him.

“You better head home. Sarah will be worried.” Bucky said to Sam.

Sam huffed in annoyance. “I know you just did not say that. You going to do me like that?” Sam shook his head and looked down at Bucky who was still staring straight ahead. One of his ears gave a slight twitch.

“Look, I will be fine. Just going to lay low for a bit. Word gets out on what happened and it will just put people in danger if anyone comes looking for me.” Bucky stood up and started walking toward the compound exit.

“Look,” Sam said. “That is some straight up martyr bullshit. It’s too late to head down to Louisiana today. I can get you and I a ride home tomorrow afternoon. How about we crash at your place tonight and you come back with me tomorrow. We won’t say who you are. Just that I picked up a stray. That way once Bruce finds out some info on how to reverse this we don’t have to hunt your shaggy self down.”

“If he finds a way to reverse this.” Bucky said.

“When.” Sam responded.

Bucky thought for a moment. “My place, huh?” Sam nodded. “What, was this all just some long play on seeing where I live to bother me in the future?”

Sam laughed. “Yep, the plan went exactly as I imagined. Although you were supposed to be a chihuahua.”

Bucky gave his classic stare in response. Sam smiled back. “So, where to?”

******************

Bucky and Sam exited the Uber in front of Bucky’s apartment complex. Bucky was increasingly showing agitation as they had gotten closer and closer. Sam felt somewhat guilty suggesting it instead of a hotel. If he was being completely honest, it's because he wanted to see how Bucky was living. He never invited Sam, or anyone else to his knowledge, over. It worried Sam that Bucky was trying to hide something. Sam dug into Bucky’s bag until he found and pulled out a set of keys. Three keys on just a single key ring. No key chain, just nondescript keys.

“You know, some personal flair won’t kill you. Maybe a keychain of some sort? LIke maybe a baseball bat? You like baseball right?” Sam followed Bucky to the first floor door. Bucky didn’t respond but just looked at the door, waiting for Sam to unlock it. Sam, choosing 1 of the 3 keys was lucky on his first try. The door unlocked and Sam pushed the door open, giving room for Bucky to enter ahead of him. They headed into the hallway lobby to the elevator but Bucky stopped a little past the elevator staring down the hallway. Sam followed his gaze and it seemed Bucky was looking at a particular apartment door.

“What floor?” Sam asked, prompting Bucky to look at him. “Unless you live on the first floor….” Still waiting on Bucky, Sam gestured to the elevator door but Bucky wasn’t giving him any clues. He pushed the button for the elevator anyways and waited for the car to arrive.

When the elevator door dinged, Bucky moved past the elevators some more and headed up the stairwell.

“Oh ok, exercise. Sure. Better not be on the damn top floor.” Sam said, taking the steps two at a time to catch up to Bucky. Having climbed 5 flights, they walked down the hallway and Bucky sat in front of a door, staring at it.

“This better be it.” Sam said, fishing out the keys again, slightly out of breath from the exertion and handling both his and Bucky’s bags. Unlocking the door, he swung it open and gave Bucky room to enter first like he did on the first floor. Bucky walked into the apartment and Sam followed behind him closing the door.

The door closing echoed in the apartment. Too much echoing in Sam’s opinion. Sam turned around and took a look around. Bucky jumped up nearby and flicked on the light switch on a nearby wall with his nose. An overhead light illuminated the apartment. The main living room had a small one seater couch in front of a TV stand and TV. He walked down the hallway and saw a small kitchen with a bar. On the other side of the bar was a single lone chair. Sam sat his and Bucky’s bags onto the chair and on the floor next to the chair. The windows were blocked out with newspapers and the light from the street lamps filtered through.

“Cozy.” Sam said. Bucky sat by the one seater couch and still didn’t respond. “Got a bathroom?” Sam asked.

Bucky looked at a door nearby and Sam took that as Bucky saying ‘through there.’ Bucky seemed to be controlling his thoughts so as not to give Sam any insight into what was going on with him. Not that Sam needed it, Bucky’s body language just screamed discomfort, upset, and shame. Sam opened the door which led to a bedroom. Well, a room was more of an apt description rather than bedroom. The room was completely bare, windows with the same newspaper coverings. No bed, not even a dresser or a night stand. To the right he saw the door ajar to the bathroom. He flicked on the lights and saw a standard bathroom. Toothbrush and toothpaste on the counter. Shower curtain with soap and shampoo all in one, single towel. Above the sink however was just screw holes where a mirror used to be. It was void of any mirror currently.

The entire apartment devoid of anyone spending much time in it but Sam knew that wasn’t the case. Bucky must spend most if not all his time locked inside this apartment. But no knickknacks, pictures, not even food wrappers. Sam was putting all the pieces together, no eye contact, removing himself from society, issues with touching, lack of contact, all were signs of what he was worried about. Bucky was having a huge setback. Mental healing is not linear, it is not magic. Setbacks happen but Sam needed to ensure he walked Bucky through this to get him moving forward again.Sam closed the bathroom door, conducted his business, washed his hands, and rejoined Bucky in the main living room. Bucky was staring at the floor, shame just radiating off of him in droves.

“Ok, let’s talk about food. I am starving and you probably are too.” Sam walked up to the fridge and opened it. He found nothing. It wasn’t even on. He closed the door and opened the cabinets and found a single can of spam. Making a face of disgust, he closed the cabinet quietly. “Know any good pizza joints nearby? Favorite toppings? You seem like a meat guy.” Sam said, trying to refocus Bucky a bit who seemed to be spirialing further inward.

Sam looked more intently at Bucky, quickly taking stock of the day in, mentally. Bucky was once again medically modified by Hydra. Was not Hydra’s intent to attack Bucky personally this time, but it was him just the same. Bucky lost any ontonomy he had built toward having, now relying on Sam to be able to function for him in certain areas. Opening locked doors, being able to dictate to someone a need such as a driver where to go. On top of that, while he can communicate, he cannot communicate with anyone he chooses. He is relying solely on Sam. He may not have communicated with others in general, but now he doesn’t have a choice. Sam shied away from the thought of Sam being Bucky’s ‘handler.’ That was NOT what he was. He was his friend and he was helping him. Sam needed to ensure Bucky understood Sam’s role, having it so close to a former dynamic that Bucky was still trying to heal from.

Sam knew from looking around the apartment that Bucky wasn’t doing well. People with funds do not wall up their windows with newspapers, they buy curtains. People do not dispose of food trash immediately; they leave it on counters or in the trash can. They don’t unplug a fridge to hear the hallway better or have a single can of food in the cupboards.

Bucky still didn’t answer Sam so Sam ordered what he thought Bucky might like and gave the address for delivery.

“Let’s talk about the elephant in the room.” Sam said. Bucky looked up at Sam for what felt like the first time since they left the compound. “Your apartment is lacking in some furniture. Now I know it's not a funding issue; you are receiving POW back pay. I am guessing the lack of bed is the same reason Steve had issues at first. Too much like a marshmallow; feels like it is swallowing you up?” Sam asked, prompting for Bucky to respond. Bucky still stared.

“Did the communication spell wear off or something? Say at least one word for me.” Sam said. “And not woof.”

“Hydra wasn’t big on the cozy elements.” Bucky responded.

Sam nodded. Bucky went from civilian life, to military life, to POW life back to civilian life. Lots of transitions there, most, if not all, unpleasant.

“The newspapers, you had these up in Bucharest. Way back when you were in hiding. In Bucharest though, you had better food selections. I mean…Spam? Really?” Sam said.

“Don’t knock my Spam Sam.” Bucky said.

“Just making sure you are aware that you are slipping a bit backwards here Bucky. Mirror gone in the bathroom, newspapers on the windows, fridge completely off, no trash to speak of. The full on change of human to dog caused by Hydra probably isn’t helping. I know you lost some ontomy here with the whole dog conversion thing going on. Having me to unlock doors, order food, and talk on your behalf. It has to be bringing back ‘handler’ vibes in your brain.”

Bucky subtly flinched when Sam mentioned ‘handler.’ Sam continued on. “Basically what I am trying to say is, that’s not me. I am not your handler. I want to help you through this. You are not alone. I am your friend.”

“Coworkers.” Bucky corrected.

“Friend.” Responded Sam.

“Acquaintances.” Bucky corrected again.

“Friend,” Sam counter corrected. “If you will have me.”

Bucky stared at Sam, meeting his eyes. Bucky didn’t see any hint of malice or lie in them. Bucky’s ear twitched and he simply responded “Door.”

Sam tilted his head, almost in a dog-like fashion which made Bucky smile a bit inside and then Sam heard the knock on the door of the pizza delivery man. Sam gave an annoyed smile and got up to get the pizza.

Chapter Text

Not having a table, they sat on the floor in front of the tv and ate a few slices in silence while the tv showed a soccer game. Sam watched as Bucky started to eat slowly, picking at the pizza slice. Once he had a few bites he began to eat extremely quickly and his eyes would dart around. Gave Sam more of a wild animal impression, or prisoner eating in a cafeteria. Like someone would snatch it away in an instant if he didn’t eat it as fast as he could. Sam noted this behavior but instead said, “When was the last time you ate man?”

Bucky ignored the question and instead asked Sam “So what are you going to tell Sarah?” He asked.

“Tell Sarah about what?” Sam asked, confused.

“You coming home with a dog.” Bucky said.

“Oh I guess this is your way of saying ‘Thank you Sam for the kind offer of having me stay with you. I am happy to take you up on it?” Sam said sarcastically.

“I could stay here” Bucky said “but sounds more fun getting you in trouble with Sarah if I come with you. Plus, a dog needs room to run. Hard to do that in a city if you are a lone dog.”

“What kind of dog do you think you are?” Sam asked, looking at Bucky.

Bucky shrugged. “Black fur with some white. I haven’t seen myself yet.”

“Where is the mirror?” Sam asked, getting up and wiping the pizza grease off his hands and mouth with a napkin.

“Threw it away.” Bucky lied.

“You lived during the depression, like hell you did.” Sam retorted, catching Bucky’s lie. He went into the bedroom and opened the sliding closet door. “Ah ha!” Sam said, finding it in the closet. He pulled it out and brought it to the living room. “Want to see yourself?” Sam asked, knowing he was pushing a bit. He remembered Bucky in Wakanda back when Steve and him were on the run. They visited Bucky and how Bucky always ensured his shoulder was rarely seen. He always kept it covered and hidden. Bucky hesitated but slowly nodded. Sam turned the mirror around and Bucky got a first good look at himself.

When he went rogue from Hydra after saving Steve from the Hudson, it took a long while before he could look at his own reflection. It took even longer for him to even see his shoulder without a shirt on. When he got to Wakanda and they took him off of ice to remove the trigger words, he kept his arm wrapped and covered so as not to scare the village children. But also, if he was honest with himself, scare himself as well. He wasn’t too big on his reflection. He never liked what he saw, which was a scarred soul-stained monstrosity.

Looking at his image currently his eyes went first to his missing leg. The scarring evident on what was left. After Tony blew off his arm, the Wakandains had to remove more of it to complete the repairs and to remove any of Hydra’s wiring from the arm they had attached to him. They did an amazing job but no matter how well the job was done, the missing limb was still a harsh reminder. He moved his gaze to his body. He had black, fluffy but still short length fur with a white spot on his chest. He saw occasional white spots on his body, almost like freckles but he was mainly a deep raven black. His chest was narrow, his paws were large and, in Bucky’s mind, was larger than any dog he had ever seen. He lifted his front paw to look at it closer and noticed the webbing in between the toes that connected to the black toenails. He put his paw down and stepped closer to the mirror. He looked at his face and saw his muzzle was narrow and the tip of his nose had a white spot to match the one on his chest. Looking to his eyes, he saw the eyelids were rimmed with black that gave Bucky a reminder of the black eyeshadow he was forced to wear as the soldier. He looked directly into his eyes and noticed that he retained his blue eye color. Noticing movement behind him he saw his tail. Turning to look over his shoulder he saw it down and low. He lifted it up and tested moving it side to side and saw the fur on the tail was longer than the rest of his body and would ‘fan out’ when he lifted it.

“What sort of breed do you think?” Sam asked. “More like breeds really, you seem to be a bit of a mutt. Maybe something mixed with shepherd?”

“Don’t know much about dog breeds.” Bucky responded. “Some breeds have changed drastically from my day.” He turned a bit in the mirror to give himself one final review. He couldn’t help but think that the dog Hydra made him has come full circle. He looked away from the mirror. Sam, taking the hint, put the mirror back into the bedroom, but didn’t put it back in the closet. He returned and picked up the pizza boxes.

“Since you are coming back with me, I am going to drop these into the dumpster and be right back.” Sam said. He grabbed the keys to the apartment, opened the door and left. He took the elevator down and went outside to dump the boxes into a nearby dumpster. He walked back into the lobby and past some mailboxes. Figuring he should empty Bucky’s mailbox before they head out, he grabbed the key that looked like a mailbox key and found Bucky’s mailbox. He opened it and saw nothing inside except for a thin layer of dust. Even some people get spam mail. Sam thought to himself, shaking his head. Man is gone for 70 years, rejoins society and it’s like he is still gone.

Sam got the feeling he was being watched. He closed the mailbox door to see an old Asian man staring at him. Sam stared back for a couple of seconds, smiled and said “Hello!”

The man continued to stare at Sam. Sam, feeling awkward now, locked the mailbox door and turned to head back to Bucky’s apartment.

“Did you move in recently?” The man asked Sam.

“Naw, I am just looking over a friend's apartment for a bit. My name is Sam.” Sam said, extending his hand. The man just looked at Sam hard.

“I know who you are.” He said. “You know the Winter Soldier.”

Sam slowly dropped his hand. “I know the man who used to be the Winter Soldier.” Sam gently corrected.

The old man grunted. “Tell him Yuri says hello.” With that the man walked down the hallway and opened his apartment door. Sam noticed it was the same door Bucky stared at when they entered the building earlier.

“Making amazing friends like always, aren’t you Buck?” Sam said mainly to himself. He called the elevator and went back to Bucky’s apartment.

Sam walked into the apartment and noticed that the one seater chair now had the other lone chair in front of it including a couple of blankets making a makeshift bed. He closed the door and locked it. “So, I met a neighbor of yours.” He said when he saw Bucky. “Some old Asian guy named Yuri. He told me to tell you hi. Although he didn’t seem too friendly about it.”

Bucky looked away, the shame look coming back to his features. Sam swore he heard a low whine come from him as well.

“Made up a bed for you.” Bucky simply said, shutting down any further conversations about Yuri. “Feel free to use the TV. I will bunk in the bedroom.”

“Where do you usually sleep, Bucky?” Sam asked.

Bucky tapped the floor next to the armchair. “Here. Blanket, pillow, TV. All that I need.” With that he walked into the bedroom and shut the door. Sam took that as a ‘good night’ signal and settled into the armchair. With the trying events of the day and, being able to sleep just about anywhere, he soon fell asleep.

Sam felt the tug of consciousness and was trying to ignore it. Something was pulling him awake. His eyes popped open and he was immediately tense. He took stock of his surroundings. Bucky’s apartment. It was still dark. No sounds were coming from outside. He checked his watch and it said 3am. Then he heard muffled whimpers coming from the bedroom. He slowly got up and tried to decide what to do. Inside his head he heard No, no. No I won’t. I am James Buchanan Barnes, I am James Buchanan Barnes. Nooo! I will not comply.”

Sam knocked on the door. “Bucky? Uh, hey buddy.” Sam listened but still heard the whimpers, with the occasional no no in his head. But Bucky didn’t stir. Sam knocked louder but Bucky still didn’t wake. Bucky started getting louder instead. Sam opened the door and tried to turn on the light to the bedroom but the switch did nothing. Looking up Sam saw the bulb was removed. Jesus Bucky, I am getting you a gift card to Amazon. You are buying some house shit. Sam walked in and turned the light on to the bathroom. “Bucky, hey buddy. Wake up man. Time to rejoin the here and now.” Sam said, dreading what he knew he would need to do.

Slowly Sam went up to Bucky’s sleeping form. Bucky was on his side, whimpering. His legs and ears twitching. The whimpering was turning into growls and barks. The voice in Sam’s head was moving to screaming. Bucky was in a bad nightmare and he needed to come out. Sam walked over to Bucky and hesitated. There was a large chance Bucky would attack him when he woke up. But he needed to wake up. Sam looked around but noticed Bucky didn’t have a blanket in this room. The only blankets were in the other room. Sighing and feeling guilty (for no logical reason) for taking all of Bucky’s blankets, Sam grabbed them off of his makeshift bed and wrapped it around his arm. Sam took his hand with the blanket covered arm and shook Bucky’s shoulder. “Hey man, come out of it. You’re safe buddy.”

Bucky reacted. Snarling and growling he snapped and lunged at Sam. Sam snatched his hand away and held his arm up defensively. Bucky, still in the nightmare, bit down on Sam’s arm, eyes unfocused and glazed over. Sam was glad he thought of the blanket as he was sure Bucky would have broken his arm in two. It still hurts like hell. “Bucky! Hey! Wake up man!” Sam said, resisting the urge to throw Bucky off. Sam looked into Bucky’s eyes and saw them slowly come into focus. Bucky, realizing what he was doing, stopped growling and snarling. He released Sam and quickly lunged into the room's far corner making himself as small of a ball as possible, pressed as far as he could go into the corner. He started shaking and whimpering. “It’s ok man. It’s me. Just take some breaths and find yourself,” Sam said, slightly out of breath from the intensity of the recent interaction.

Bucky didn’t respond. Sam moved toward him slightly but Bucky curled more into the corner, panting and whimpering. Sam stopped, put his hands to where Bucky could clearly see them and recognize he is not a threat. In a calming tone, “You’re calling the shots here. I won’t touch you or come near you. Do you know where you are?” Sam asked, trying to ground Bucky.

Bucky tried to steady his breathing. Trying to shake the nightmare that so prevalently dominated his brain. Flashes of his early Hydra trainers' faces from his nightmare were still in front of his eyes. The sessions they would do to break his will, before Steve rescued him, just kept going over and over in his brain. He remembered a room, no light, no sound, no toilet. Water was rationed to him so he would not die, food was rationed the same way. They would come in, pain sticks and whips. They would beat him until he could not move. He would give his name, his rank and number as he was trained, more for his sanity than anything. Then they would leave, never asking anything of him. He would heal, and then they would come back. It was then he started to realize his body was changing. No way could he heal as quickly. But maybe he was losing it. All he could do in that room was think back to New York, how Steve was safe there.

“New York.” Bucky said so silently, responding to Sam’s question.

“Good, good that’s it. Do you know who I am?” Sam asked.

Bucky nodded. “Sam.” He said, slowly uncurling and whimpering less. He licked his tongue over his teeth, but stopped the action from further occurring.

“That’s it, come on back to here and now.” Sam said.

After a few moments, Bucky managed to say “I am sorry Sam. Go back to sleep.”

Sam laughed. “Yeah sure. It’s that simple. Last question, do you want to..”

“I don’t want to talk about it, Sam.” Bucky interrupted, snarl returning and glaring at Sam.

“Got it. Understood.” Sam stood up, unraveling the blanket from his arm. He shook it up and held it up. Seeing the holes in the blanket from Bucky waking from the nightmare.

“Just go back to sleep Sam.” Bucky said, heading into the bathroom and closing the door behind him. Sam heard the shower turn on. He left the bedroom door open and went back to the living room. He turned on the TV and waited. Bucky eventually came out of the shower, shaking off the excess water and back into the bedroom. He closed the bedroom door. Sam sighed and settled back down, eventually falling back asleep when the sun started to rise. Bucky stayed awake the rest of the night.

Sam’s alarm on his watch started going off. He slowly woke and put his hand over his face. He stretched and looked at his watch. 8:30am it read. Bucky came out of the bedroom and sat near Sam.

Sam glared slightly at Bucky and stood up stretching out some of the kinks in his back and neck from sleeping in a chair. “Morning sunshine.” He said.

“So I have been thinking..” Bucky started.

“Nope, nuh uh. No way.” Sam said. “We are NOT having this conversation right now. I need coffee. A bagel. Something first.” He grabbed his jacket and started heading for the door. He opened the door and motioned for Bucky to follow. Sighing, Bucky followed.

“Come on, I know a place.” He told Sam.

They headed down the street to a cafe. Sam went in and Bucky waited outside while he ordered. Sam exited the cafe shortly after, coffee and bag in hand. Bucky started heading back to the apartment when Sam stopped him. “Whoa whoa there. It’s a beautiful day. Let’s try some fresh air. People watching. You can stare to your heart’s content.” Sam pulled out a chair from a nearby table for Bucky to sit in. He pulled the other chair and sat. He opened his coffee and started adding some sugar and stirring. He looked at Bucky, eyebrows raised and then looked at the chair. Huffing, Bucky jumped up and sat.

“Aren’t you concerned about Captain America going viral for losing it and talking to a three legged dog?” Bucky said, challengingly.

“Nope.” Sam said. He pulled out his phone and sat it down. “If anyone asks I am talking on my phone.” Sam opened the bag and pulled out two bagels and a container. He opened the container and placed it in front of Bucky with the extra bagel.

“What the hell is that?” Bucky asked.

“It’s uh…a pup-a-chino.” Sam said.

“…what…” Bucky said, flatly.

“A pup-a-chino. The barista saw you in the window, thought you were adorable, made you a pup-a-chino and gave you a free bagel.” Sam said, slightly hesitantly. Bucky looked inside the shop and saw three baristas looking over. One waved.

“Awesome.” Bucky said. “I used to be able to pick up any dame I wanted before the war. Now I can only pick them up as a dog. Fantastic.” Bucky said sniffing the pup-a-chino and finding it to be whipped cream. He gave it a few licks and then ate the bagel quickly in three bites.

“You know, eating that fast can give you indigestion.” Sam said. Bucky ignored Sam’s comment entirely. Sam instead just smiled, drank his coffee, and ate his bagel, enjoying the sounds of New York.

“Sam, look..” Bucky started again, from his conversation in the apartment.

“Nope.” Sam said. “You are still coming with me.”

“That’s stupid. No. Drop me off in some woods outside of New York. I can survive out there..” Bucky started saying.

Sam started laughing. “Uh…no. I am not dumping a dog or a friend in the woods to live by himself for who knows how long.”

“It’s fine, I have done it before in far worse conditions.” Bucky responded.

“That’s not the point, Bucky. Just because you have suffered before doesn’t mean you have to suffer now.” Sam said, leaning in slightly to Bucky.

“Look, if …” Bucky looked away from Sam to the stained concrete under the wire table. Sam waited for Bucky to finish his sentence, giving him the space to speak his mind. “If I had, an….episode…and one of your nephews tried to wake me or were nearby….I…I can’t…” Bucky looked back to Sam not able to finish the sentence.

“The boys aren’t stupid.” Sam said. “You aren’t the only one in the world with a cornerstone on nightmares. They handled it well with me, they will handle it well with you.” Bucky looked at Sam with the half cocked head tilt. Sam chuckled. “The barista is right. You are sooooo adorable.”

Bucky growled and gave a little snarl. Before he could decide how to bite Sam, the barista came outside. “Did he like his pup-a-chino?” She asked.

“Yes, yes he did.” Sam responded, smiling at Bucky’s groan he heard in his head. Bucky looked at the barista and went to give her a large smile, forcing ‘I am friendly and not dangerous’ all over his face. He turned to her and did not have to force it any longer. She was cute and her personality just oozed ‘bubbly.’ She was wearing the coffee shop black t-shirt merch which sat tightly over her breasts. Her brown coffee shop apron did nothing to hide her front and Bucky, trying to be the gentleman, tried not to stare. He did notice the name card pinned to the side of her apron that said ‘AMY’ with a heart over the ‘y’. A breeze came past her and her blond hair blew slightly and Bucky caught just a hint of coffee and her shampoo.

“Can I pet him?” She asked.

Sam said, “Uh..”

“Yes, yes please, I would very very much like that yes.” Bucky told Sam in his head.

“Sure.” Sam said.

Amy petted Bucky on the head, his face, and his body. She scrunched the sides of his face. “You are too cute for words!!” She said, Bucky licked her hands and she giggled, coming in closer with a kissy face. Bucky licked her face and she giggled louder, eventually hugging him to her large chest. Bucky looked up at her, tongue lolling out, then at Sam.

“Ok, being a dog has its upsides.” He thought to Sam.

“Ok that’s enough man.” Sam said.

Slightly startled, the barista let go.

“Oh not you, sorry. It’s just…we gotta get going and he won’t want to leave….with all the attention he is getting.” Sam said.

“Smooth.” Bucky said sarcastically.

Chapter Text

Hours later, they were driving up the Wilson homestead driveway.

“Did you tell Sarah or are we just winging this thing?” Bucky said.

“Winging it. I know what I am doing.” Sam said. He put his pickup truck in park and stepped out. Bucky opened the door with his paw and jumped down as well.

“Plus she isn’t home yet.” Sam said, grabbing his and Bucky’s bag from the bed of the truck. Sam lifted the bags realizing Bucky’s entire life possessions, change of clothes, the blanket with the new holes, and gear all were within the bag. Literally he left nothing of himself back at his apartment. Bringing the bag was Sam’s idea. When Bucky goes back to being human, he might need some clothes.

“Oh no, that better NOT be a dog Sam!”

Sam twirled around and saw Sarah exiting the house. Hands on hips and pissed. Bucky hunched down slightly.

“Hey, so…what are you doing home?” He asked stupidly.

“Nuh uh. Mind telling me what that is doing here?” Sarah asked, pointing to Bucky.

“So…look. There was this mission. And there was this dog.” Sam started.

“Oh my god this is so painful.” Bucky thought to Sam.

Sam, ignoring Bucky, continued on. “And they were, like….going to kill this dog. So I was like, hey it’s a dog. The boys might like a dog. To keep them company or play with them while I am on missions.”

“Really?…Really. This whole flight and drive and THIS is your story.” Bucky said.

“Shut up,” Sam said under his breath.

“Really…” Sarah said, not believing Sam’s story. “This whole time back, that is what you are telling me.”

“See?” Bucky said.

“Look Sarah, he needs a place for now. We can rehome him later but for now, just give him a place to live, eat, sleep. The dog has been through some things, so this might do him some good.” Sam said imploringly.

Sarah sighed and looked at Bucky. “Is he house trained?” She asked, her facade breaking a little.

“Yep, he can even use the toilet.” Sam said.

“Excuse me?” Sarah said. “What kind of training has this dog had?”

“Extensive…..apparently.” Sam responded.

“Well you’re heading into town to get dog things right now then. He is NOT coming into my house until he has had a bath.” Sarah said.

“Now? I just got..” Sam started to say. He stopped by the glare Sarah gave him. “Yep. Ok. Heading into town.” He and Bucky hopped back into the truck.

“This goes without saying. You are NOT bathing me.” Bucky thought to Sam.

“One step at a time, ok man? Apparently I gotta drive into town to get you ‘dog things.’”

Bucky pestered Sam the whole way there about Sam’s terrible lying skills. By the time they were in the parking lot of the pet store, Sam started getting irritated over the whole thing.

“All I am saying is lying 101 - make your story believable.” Bucky said to Sam.

“You can shut up at any time now. Jeez, can’t get you to talk some days and others you won’t shut up!” Sam said, slightly heated.

“You didn’t have to be the person to be my dog translator.” Bucky said.

“Oh yeah, who else would have volunteered.” Sam responded, immediately regretting the words. Bucky looked away from Sam and out the window. “Bucky I…” Sam started to say but stopped himself. Somehow “sorry I made it apparent your only friend went back in time and left you here in this time with no means of support other than me and then died about a month ago leaving you truly alone” sounded hollow. Instead he threw the truck into park at the local pet store. He cracked the window slightly and left Bucky in the truck while he headed inside. A few minutes later he left with a dog bowl, some toys the boys could throw to Bucky, dog shampoo, and a towel. He avoided the collar and leash section. One thing at a time. As far as dog food…well, he would tell Sarah they would save money having him eat from the table.

When Sam went back to the truck Bucky was in the truck bed and refused to speak to him the whole ride back. Sam attempted to apologize even further but it was falling on deaf ears. Once they got back home Bucky got out and went over to the side of the house and just stared into the woods.

“Fine, go sulk.” Sam said. “I already said I was sorry.” Sam grabbed the packages and headed inside. Sarah was in the kitchen working on dinner.

“The boys are at a sleep away camp but they come back tomorrow. They’ll be excited you are back and did I just hear you apologize to the dog?” Sarah said.

“Yeah..” Sam said. “He’s…sulking.”

“The dog is sulking.” Sarah said, stopping her stirring and looking at Sam.

Sam nodded in response, not adding anything else. Sarah shook her head and went back to dinner simmering on the stove. “What’s his name?” She asked.

Sam said “The dog's name? Uh….Bucky…” Sam winced. Maybe he was bad at lying.

Sarah stopped again. “You named the three legged dog…Bucky. Isn’t that… inappropriate?” She said, staring hard at Sam.

“Naw.” Sam said, looking away from her glare. “Bucky uh, he liked the name for the dog.”

“Uh huh.” Sarah said. “How is giving the dog a bath coming along? Wash bin is on the lawn. I filled it with water already.”

Sam sighed and tried to figure out a way to do this. This wasn’t going to go well.

Sam exited the house and went over to where Bucky was sitting.

“So..” he started.

“You aren’t giving me a bath Sam.” Bucky said.

“Look, we have to do something. Sarah can see out the door and will KNOW if you don’t clean up.” Sam said, trying to convince Bucky to make some linancy here.

“Not happening.” Bucky said.

“Look, maybe I can spray you with the hose..” Sam started but stopped once he said it. Bucky instantly flinched. Sam swore he saw flashes of Bucky being hosed off, Hydra agents laughing mockingly. The water hitting Bucky in the face and his long hair splaying outwards. The water, going down the drain, tinted red.

Sam shook his head and heard Bucky growl out a loud “NO.” Sam shook his head, figuring he just imagined that happening to Bucky. Before he could dwell on it more he tried to get back to convincing Bucky.

“Look this won’t be a treat for me either but if we don't do this she won’t let either of us in the house. And you may have nice fur to ward off the mosquitoes but I don’t. I don’t want to get eaten alive by them out here. So let’s get this over with.”

“Forget it.” Bucky said.

Meanwhile, back in the house, Sarah hummed along to a tune on the radio in the kitchen. Outside, she heard Sam’s voice becoming increasingly loud and angry. She paused her humming and turned down the radio but couldn’t make out what Sam was saying. It kept getting louder and angrier. She looked out the screen door just in time to see him land backwards into the wash bin getting drenched in water. He struggled to get up, sputtering. He stumbled out of the bin, soaking wet, and stood up shouting “FINE! Stay outside then!” He flicked the water off his clothes as if that would help dry him faster. He stomped into the house and, before Sarah could say anything, he turned to her and said “He can live out there for all I care.” He continued to stomp over to the counter where he had left his keys, swiping them off the counter in anger. He went back outside and got into his truck and peeled off down the driveway leaving a dust cloud in his wake.

About an hour later, Sam cooled down. Feeling like an absolute ass, he headed back home ready to apologize and tell Sarah that Bucky could just use the shower…and somehow that would go over well with her. However, what he saw got him angry all over again.

He slammed the car in park, yet again for the umpteeth time today, and got out.

“What the fu..” He started to say.

“Shhh,” Sarah said. “Look how relaxed he is.”

There was Bucky in a bin of sudsy, soapy water. He was laying down in the metal bin body under the water, and his head laying on the rim. Sarah sat to the side of it, with a large sponge in hand slowly stroking Bucky’s head. Bucky opened one eye and looked at Sam. Then closed it before Sarah saw.

“You have got to be kidding me.” Sam said. “Nope, get up.” He said to Bucky.

Bucky slowly lifted his head and yawned at Sam. He hopped out of the bin and trotted up to Sam and shook off the excess water.

“Oh man COME ON!” Sam said, trying to avoid the water droplets. Bucky went over to Sarah where she rubbed his sides with a towel, drying him off. Once dried he sat on the porch in the evening sun and stared at Sam.

“What is it with you and that dog?” Sarah said, taking the towel inside the house.

Once she was inside, Sam pointed a finger at Bucky. “You …. are dead.”

Chapter Text

Sarah was quite certain her brother was losing it. There he sat, eating dinner, and the dog was sitting at the table as well eating out of a bowl sitting in a chair. She decided to let this one go for now.

“Uhm so…” Sarah started watching Bucky the dog and Sam eating the dinner she made. Bucky was wolfing it down like he had not eaten in days. Sam was eating with less intensity but glaring at Bucky. “I am guessing Bucky joined you on the mission?” She said conversationally.

Sam paused to look at her mid bite. “Yeah. He picked up and joined me.”

“All go well?'' Sarah asked, trying to push along the conversation.

“Somewhat.” Sam said, sidelonging a glance at Bucky.

“So, how did Bucky take your suggestion?” Sarah said.

“Uh…” Sam said, eyes slightly darting left and right. He did not want to discuss that right now. “It didn’t come up.”

“....you didn’t bring it up is what you are saying.” Sarah said.

Bucky, having finished, kept looking at Sarah and then at Sam. His head moved back and forth between them in their conversation.

Sarah shook her head. “Well you were all gung ho when you left here with your idea. What happened?”

“Look, can we talk about this later?” Sam said “when we are more…rested.” He wanted to say ‘alone’ but figured that would just be …weird.

Sarah looked at the dog, then at Sam. “Uh huh. Well did Bucky at least like the gift the boys and I put together?”

Sam paused again mid chew. “Uh…I forgot.” Sam said, unconvincingly. “I have his address now though. So, we can mail it to him.” Sam finished his bite and gulped down his water. He took his and Bucky’s plates and put them into the sink.

“Welp, I am beat. I am going to bed.” He grabbed his bag and jerked his head at Bucky in the direction of the stairs. Bucky jumped down and followed Sam upstairs.

Sam threw the bag on his bed and closed the door.

“So, got some things to discuss there Sam?” Bucky asked, sitting by the door and staring at Sam. “What was Sarah talking about?”

Sam paused and said “Mind explaining how I come home and find my sister giving you a bath?” Sam stared at Bucky with his eyebrows raised. Bucky looked back at him and just shrugged saying, “She told me to get in the wash bin, so I did. It seemed you weren’t coming back anytime soon and really Sam, you shouldn’t say no to your sister.”

Sam glared at Bucky and grunted in annoyance.

“Think of it as just getting my hair washed.” Bucky gave Sam the biggest smile he could manage as a dog.

Sam continued to glare but, after taking a few moments, he reached for his bag. He opened it up and pulled out an item wrapped in gift wrapping paper. He showed it to Bucky and said “Care if I open this?” Bucky shook his head and Sam tore the paper off. “The boys and Sarah put this together for you. They wanted you to not forget them.” The wrapping paper fell to the floor and Sam showed Bucky a collage of three picture frames side to side. In one of the frames was the boys smiling arms over each other’s shoulders on the front porch. The middle one was Sam and Bucky, smiling from the day they were rebuilding the boat. The last frame was all the Wilsons: Sarah, Sam, and the boys smiling as Sam was taking a selfie. Behind the frame was a folded sheet of paper which Sam opened. Drawn on the front was a child’s drawing of Steve as Captain America and Bucky side by side smiling. The top read “Sorry for your loss, Love AJ and Cass.”

Bucky did not think dogs could cry, but he felt on the verge of it.The gift was such a kind, touching, and thoughtful item that Bucky did not feel deserving of. “That's…uhm…that's…” Bucky started to say, not sure how to express his gratitude. “Thank you.” Bucky ended up saying.

Sam nodded and said, “Well… you are cared about Bucky.” He took a blanket off his bed and a spare pillow and sat them both on the floor. He set the frame down on the floor near the makeshift bed. Next, he took a piece of tape from his desk and taped the drawing the boys made onto the desk bottom cabinet drawer.

“I figured you would be ok here for now.”Sam said, arranging the blankets and pillow a bit more into a makeshift bed on the floor. “We should get you an air mattress or something.”

“Floor is fine,” Bucky said.

“Well, not really in the long term.” Sam said. “Eventually we should work you up to an actual bed.” Bucky was unsure about that. He wanted to say ‘a bed ensured he would be slowed down in case he needed to spring into action.’ But now isn't the time for that. Sam looked exhausted, had his sleep broken last night, and had slept in a chair. Sam left his bedroom to shower and change in the bathroom leaving Bucky to take in Sam’s childhood room. The room was neat but slightly messy. Not overtly in need of cleaning but a lived in type of mess. Bed was made and the window was open, letting in a breeze and shifting the blue curtains. He had a dresser with a mirror and a closet. He had a desk, a laptop, and a cup of water, mostly empty, next to it. The wall had ribbons and medals from Track from some High School and a child’s drawing of the Falcon, Cass or AJ must have made for Sam when he was the Falcon.

On the desk were pictures of what Bucky assumed were his parents, grandparents and a picture of Sam with a guy which Bucky did not recognize. Riley maybe, Bucky assumed. Bucky heard the water shut off from the shower. He circled a few times on the blankets, but stopped himself once he realized what he was doing. Sighing in annoyance, he laid down on the blankets and pillow and looked at the photo frame. Sam came in and laid down on the bed with a huff. “Good night,” Sam said. He reached over and turned on a sound machine set to white noise with the volume low.

“Good night,” Bucky responded, looking at the picture frame.

Bucky waited and heard Sam’s breath even out. Soon, with the exhaustion of the day and night before, he fell asleep lulled by the sound machine.

Hours later, Bucky woke with a start, panting, and up on all of his feet. He looked around, getting his bearings. He was in Sam’s room. Sam was sleeping soundly still, which Bucky was grateful for not interrupting his sleep further. Bucky checked Sam’s desk clock and the time read 4:03am. Just a nightmare. You are in Louisiana, in Sam’s room. And…you are still a dog. So everything seems to be as normal as they get with me.” Bucky thought to himself. It wasn’t the worst of nightmares. Wasn’t the best either. Still shaking from the nightmare, Bucky walked to the door, opened it and headed to the bathroom. Grateful that the Wilsons have handle shower knobs instead of the turn style, he turned on the shower as hot as they would go and stood under the steam.

He still tried to shake the nightmare from his mind. Always, the blood, the red, the visions of ice. The cold feeling, the smell of burnt flesh. All images that slammed into his brain. Sometimes he re-lived those he hurt. Sometimes it was him hurting people he cared about now. Sometimes it was just images that didn't make sense but the fear was there. The hot water helped. He felt it burn against his fur and onto his skin, grounding him to now. When the water turned cold, he shut it off and jumped out. He shook the water off the best he could and then quietly went back to Sam’s room and laid down on the floor. He listened to Sam breath and to the sounds of the house until someone woke up.

Sam started stirring shortly after Bucky heard Sarah downstairs. Bucky sat up and waited for Sam to fully wake up, very unsure what to do. Does he go downstairs? Does he wait for Sam? Before Bucky had to think about it too long, Sam eventually rolled over and opened his eyes. First thing Sam saw directly was a dog's nose right in his face. Sam gave a startled yelp and jumped, sitting up.

Bucky, unphased, simply said “It’s morning. Your sister is up.”

“Jesus Bucky!” Sam said, calming himself down. “Give me a minute.”

Sam stood up, yawned and stretched. Bucky just stared at him. “Fine, let’s get coffee. Jesus.”

Sam opened the door and they walked downstairs. Sarah sat at the table, coffee steaming in her hand.

“Morning.” She said as a greeting.

“Morning.” Said Sam.

“Morning.” Thought Bucky to Sam.

“So, when are you going to admit to me that Bucky turned into a dog?” Sarah asked, staring at the pair over her coffee cup.

Sam and Bucky stopped mid-step into the kitchen.

“Busted.” Bucky thought to Sam.

Sam sputtered out “uh what do you mean? Bucky? A dog. That's insane.”

“Just stop. It’s embarrassing.” Bucky thought to Sam, jumping onto the seat at the kitchen table. He waved his paw at Sarah in greeting.

Sarah smiled, waved back, and sipped her coffee.

Sam sighed and just said, “How long have you known?”

“Really…You bring home a three-legged dog named Bucky who riled you up to the point where you are peeling out of here like a bat out of hell. How stupid do you think I am? We live in a world of aliens and gods and sorcerers. Do you think dog transformation is out of the scope of reality?”

“Notice she said sorcerer and not wizard…like some other idiot..” Bucky thought to Sam.

Sam shot Bucky an annoyed look. He said to Sarah “Look, we are trying to keep it low key. We don’t want word getting out cause it could be bad if people find out. But yes, on our last mission there was a ‘ray gun’ and it was aimed for me but Bucky knocked me out of the way and hit him instead. We have Bruce looking into it and Dr. Strange did a spell to allow Bucky to communicate telepathically with me. So, Bucky can hear and understand you and I can repeat what he says back.” Sam said.

“Tell her ‘Hi Doll’ for me.” Bucky said.

“No,” Sam said, looking directly at Bucky.

“Do it.” Bucky said.

“He says hi.” Sam said instead.

“It’s like the Ghost Whisperer. That's not what I said.” Bucky said to Sam.

“And how do you know the Ghost Whisperer?” Sam said to Bucky.

“It has Jennifer Love Hewitt? And you're asking me how?” said Bucky.

“Are you both done?” Sarah said.

Sam scoffed and said under his breath “he started it.” He got two mugs and filled them with coffee. He added sugar to his and left Bucky’s black. He sat the mug in front of Bucky and started drinking his cup slowly.

“I am hearing half of this conversation but I am filling in the other half. Fine, Bucky is a dog for the foreseeable future. The boys can’t know so” she turned directly to Bucky and looked him straight in the eyes. “So for now it’s full on ‘dog behavior’ when they are around. That means no mugs of coffee for a dog!” Sarah said pointing at the coffee cup Bucky was currently lapping out of. Bucky stopped mid lap. Sam chuckled.

“They are here for a few days then heading to another camp to wrap up the summer. Then we are back to school. We will play this day by day.” She finished off her coffee and sat it in the sink. She grabbed her purse. “Now, I am going to work and am picking the boys up and bringing them back here this afternoon. Try not to cause problems.” She stared at Sam and then Bucky.

“Yes ma’am” Bucky said.

“He says yes ma’am and I am saying I understand.” Sam told Sarah. Sarah nodded her head once and then left.

Bucky resumed drinking his coffee. “I was thinking today we will test out what I can or can’t do in this body.” Bucky said to Sam. “See if I have all those super soldier perks, maybe see how far these telepathic connections go.”

“Not a bad idea.” Sam said, finishing off his coffee. He grabbed Bucky’s empty cup and placed both of them into the sink. He washed out the mugs, placed them into the dishwasher and wiped his hands on the kitchen towel. “Let me get dressed, let’s start with a run. See how fast you can go. I know a junkyard we can hit. See if you have that super strength and what not.

Few minutes later they started out with a light jog to warm up. They kept up the jog side by side, not saying anything until they got to the junkyard. There they tested Bucky’s strength. Without the use of his arm, he lost some strength. Not that he was a weak kitten by any means. Tying a rope to a large tractor tire Bucky was able to pull it with ease. He could easily jump and climb like before and was incredibly fast.

“So we have the strength, speed and what not. Let’s test the distance on this telepathic thing. Start running that way and let’s check contact every half mile.” Sam said pointing toward empty fields and woods. Bucky nodded and headed off in the direction Sam pointed. At each half mile they tested the link and once they got to around the 5 mile mark, things started to get fuzzy and by the 6 mile mark it was silent. Bucky then headed back to meet up with Sam.

“6 miles it is.” Sam said to Bucky. “Let’s head back to be ready when the boys return home.” They ran back home and waited for the boys to arrive.

Chapter Text

“UNCLE SAM!!!” The boys said in unison barreling in through the door.

“I saw a scorpion!” AJ said.

“No, it was a snake,” Cass said.

“A camp leader said I could maybe shoot better than Hawkeye? Do you think you could ask him?” AJ asked.

“Easy guys,” Sam said, hugging each nephew. “I have someone I want you to meet. Now be careful ok, he is going to need to get used to his new surroundings.”

Bucky walked into the room.

“A DOG!!!!” The boys said in unison. “You got us a dog!!!” They started jumping up and down.

“No,” Sam said quickly. “I am dog sitting for a friend while he is deployed. Once he comes back, the dog will go back. But that doesn’t mean we can’t have fun with him.”

“He has three legs like Uncle Bucky.” Cass said, pointing to the missing leg.

“What’s his name?” AJ asked.

“Uh….Bucky.” Sam said.

“Let me guess. Sarah told you what to say and told you to come up with a name you would remember…and you chose Bucky.” Bucky said.

Ignoring Bucky, Sam started to say “Now the dog is a bit of an ass but..”

“SAM! Don’t cuss in front of the boys!” Sarah said sternly coming into the house. “Now, boys, go out there and help bring in the suitcases. I want the laundry out of those cases and into the baskets so I can clean them for your next camp. You can play with Bucky after, if Bucky is up to it.”

“For all we know this dog could be 106 in dog years so be careful with this old timer.” Sam gestured to Bucky. Sam opened the door to head outside and Bucky darted between Sam’s legs tripping him on the way outside.

“Oh pardon me.” Bucky said, sitting on the porch and watching.

The boys ran outside and grabbed a suitcase with Sam grabbing the rest. They dumped their clothes in a pile on the floor of the living room and dashed back outside.

“I have a ball!” AJ said.

“No, that's my good baseball. Here, use this frisbee.” Cass said.

“Come on Bucky!” AJ said and tossed the frisbee away from him and it sailed through the air. Bucky watched it land on the ground near him, not moving.

“Let me try.” Cass said. He ran to get the frisbee and launched it at Bucky. It landed in front of him and still he didn’t move. Sam came outside and stood on the porch.

“Does he not know how to catch a frisbee?” AJ asked Sam.

“Maybe we can show him how?” Cass said. “Here Bucky! Watch me.” He took the frisbee and tossed it to Sam. Sam caught it and tossed it to AJ.

“Can’t teach an old dog new tricks it seems. I will play with ya’ll for a bit.” Sam said, chuckling at Bucky’s instant glare.

They tossed the frisbee for a bit. Sarah came out onto the porch and sat next to Bucky.

“Now, I don’t know what you are going though, but it must be tough. However, I thought we had an understanding..act like a dog. A dog catches a frisbee. The more you blend in, the better things will be for everyone. Before you start thinking how it's ‘degrading to do this as a dog’ it’s not much different from what Sam is doing right now. Just simply playing frisbee with his nephews. I know you love your lone guy persona but that is not how we do things in this family. We do things and get through things together. Sitting out on this porch is not going to work. Now go play frisbee.”

Bucky looked at Sarah and considered her words. Deciding, he gave her a quick lick on the cheek and trotted next to AJ. AJ tossed the frisbee to Sam, Sam tossed to Bucky, and soon they were tossing the frisbee enjoying Bucky’s leaps and jumps as he would catch the frisbee in mid air. They kept playing until Sarah called the boys in.

“That’s about it for me.” Sam eventually said, tossing the frisbee to AJ. “I need to head to town to check on my PO Box to pick up the fan mail.”

“Can we come?” AJ asked Sam.

“No you can’t go!” Sarah said. “You dumped your entire laundry onto the floor. You are going to put it into the baskets like I asked and finish unpacking.”

The boys groaned but headed inside. Sam smiled and looked at Bucky as he walked to his truck. “Come on, you can stick your head out the window.” Bucky glared at Sam but climbed into the truck passenger seat. They drove into town and Sam lowered both windows, letting in the Louisiana air. He looked at Bucky and chuckled.

“I mean come on, aren’t you even a little curious as to what the obsession is when dogs do it?” Sam asked.

Bucky tentatively moved toward the window glancing back at Sam occasionally. Eventually, he stuck his head out the window and felt the wind brush against his fur. He leaned out further until the front part of his body was outside of the truck. It felt glorious. The air was cool and soft as it pushed past his face, eyes, and ears. He felt his ears give a pleasant flop, flop, flop in the wind. He could see why dogs do this, it was amazing. He stayed like that until they got closer to town. Eventually he sat back inside the truck and Sam laughed.

“Shut up.” Bucky said. Sam laughed louder.

He pulled in front of the post office. He and Bucky got out of the truck and headed into the post office.

“Nuh uh” Sam said to Bucky pointing to a sign that said no dogs allowed.

Bucky huffed in annoyance but sat by the front door. Sam went in and started carrying boxes out of the post office and into the truck. Bucky watched Sam go back and forth, with the occasional snide comment of “Looking strong Sam!” or “I would help but, ya know, no dogs allowed!” Sam would roll his eyes and continue his trek back and forth.

Bucky had noticed a man staring at Sam when they arrived. The man continued to stare at Sam as he entered and exited the Post Office. Bucky kept an eye on him but he recognized the feeling associated with the man. This man meant to cause trouble. Sam lugged the last box out to the truck and placed it into the truck bed and Bucky told him “We might have trouble.” Sam looked around and saw the man across the street.

“Fuck.” Sam said under his breath. “Rick.”

Rick walked up towards them and Bucky moved to Sam’s side.

“Sam.” Rick said, glaring at him.

Sam plasted a smile on his face. “Hey Rick, how are things?”

“Great Sam, why would they be any different? Maybe not ‘Captain America’ great. But we all can’t be superheroes can we?”

“Okie dokie. Nice chatting with you, as usual Rick.” Sam said, moving toward the driver side of the truck.

Rick blocked his path. “What, you’re not going to ask me if I want an autograph? Selfie with me? Some other self-absorbed shit in your new ‘glamor role’?”
“That's not how I roll Rick. Have a nice day, alright?” Sam said, not taking Rick’s bait. He attempted to move past but Rick blocked him again.

Bucky gave a growl as a warning.

“Dogs should have a collar and leash on, Sam. It’s the law. Think you’re above the law?” Rick sneered.

“No Rick, I do not think I am above the law. But you are right, he should have a collar and leash. We will look into that, ok?” Sam said backing to go the other way around the truck. Bucky followed him growling louder, giving Rick the clue not to follow them.

“Dog seems to be a little aggressive. Wouldn’t want a menace roaming around the community.” Rick said, finally backing away. “Better watch out or someone might decide to keep the community safe and take that dog out of the equation.” Rick finally turned away and walked down the street.

“Who was that?” Bucky asked Sam.

“Rick. Tell you about it later.” Sam said, clenching his jaw.

They headed home in silence. Bucky keeping an eye on if they were being followed. Not that it mattered, Bucky had the feeling that ‘Rick’ knew where Sam lived anyhow. They got back to the house and Sam started unloading his fan mail. Sarah came out to help and picked up on Sam’s mood immediately.

“Uh oh, what happened.” Sarah said, grabbing a box.

“Nothing, just Rick.” Sam told her, taking two boxes and heading into the house.

“Rick….Rick the dick?” Sarah said, following Sam.

“Yeah, going on about how I am in a glamor role as Captain America. Threatening Bucky if we don’t put a collar and leash on him.”

“Not happening by the way.” Bucky said

Suddenly, Sam started getting cloudy whispers of visions in his head of Bucky as the Winter Soldier, disembodied voices saying “good dog” and jeering. Sam looked at Bucky who was staring off away from Sarah and Sam, hunched down. “Hey man, are you good?” He asked. Bucky looked at him and the visions went away. Bucky just nodded and headed into the house. Sam felt these weren’t some ‘intrusive thoughts’ occurring. He was starting to get a horrible feeling they were Bucky’s memories. He filed it away to talk with Bucky once they were alone.

“Rick has been on your case since you were kids.” Sarah said, bringing in the last box. “He has always been salty coming in second to you. You had a loving family, you were liked more in high school, you were the best at Track and he would come in 3rd or 4th. You got any girl you wanted, you had an amazing military career, you were friends with Captain America. You saving the world must have made him super happy.”

“It’s not like I didn’t try to reach out, try to connect with the guy. I mean he had a loving family too, came from money, not that that equals happiness but…I dunno. He just has so much hate.” Sam said, sitting on the couch in the living room, pulling a box close.

“The entire family was blipped but, once they came back, the business went under. He lost the trust fund, house, everything. Now he has to work to get by, which ya know….trust fund baby must love that.” Sarah said.

“And he more than likely blames me for not defeating Thanos….sooner?” Sam said questionly.

“Not your fault, and not the team's fault. We got him in the end.” Bucky said to Sam.

“I know,” Sam said to Bucky. “Hard not to dwell on the what if’s though.”

“Yeah…tell me about it. Strange said only one outcome showed us defeating him though.” Bucky said, looking into the boxes of fan mail. “Jesus Sam, do you read and respond to all of these?”

“Yeah. They take the time to write, I like to respond. To the supportive one’s at least.” Sam said, opening a letter with obvious child handwriting on the front.

“You both do realize I am only hearing one part of the conversation.” Sarah said, organizing the boxes near Sam.

Sam chuckled at Sarah and watched her go back upstairs.

“Bucky, look at this one.” Sam pulled out a child drawing of Sam as Captain America and Bucky standing next to him smiling. The child wrote “Thank you Captain America and Sergeant Barnes!”

“Not an exact likeness.” Sam said. “Shows you smiling. Not your scowling stare. But it’s a kid’s drawing…so…” Sam shrugged and put the drawing down. Bucky continued to stare at the drawing intently. After a bit Sam noticed Bucky still staring at it. “You good?” Sam asked.

Bucky looked at Sam. “He used my name.” Bucky said.

“Well he is a she by the way and yes she did. What’s wrong with using your name?” Sam raised his eyebrows at Bucky.

“She used Sergeant Barnes, not the Winter Soldier.” Bucky said flatly, looking back at the drawing.

“You know, you are more than some Hydra moniker.” Sam said. Sam wondered about Bucky's viewpoint on the name. The media still called him the Winter Soldier which undermined all the hard work Bucky has done reversing the brainwashing in Wakanda. Stopping the Flag Smashers. Did Bucky want that changed to another name? Revamp the name to mean something more than what it was?

Bucky shrugged and walked outside the door.

“You know you could say something like ‘I don’t know Sam, don’t want to talk about it right now. But thanks for wondering about my well being!” Sam shouted so Bucky could hear him as he went out the door.

Later on in the evening, Sam and Bucky were bedding down in Sam’s room.

“What were you going to suggest to me?” Bucky asked as Sam sat on his bed, taking off his watch.

Sam paused what he was doing, trying to figure out what Bucky was asking. He then remembered their first night back when Sarah, Sam, and Bucky were eating dinner. Sarah had brought up Sam’s idea he wanted to share with Bucky. However, with the way that day went, Sam didn’t bring it up. He still didn’t know the best way to bring it up. Sam resumed taking off his watch. “Just an idea I had but we can discuss it later.” Sam said, not quite wanting to broach the topic just yet.

“What else do we have going on?” Bucky said, knowing Sam was evading the question.

Sam sighed and looked at Bucky.

“I was going to suggest that, when we aren’t running missions and what not, maybe you can work at the VA.” Sam said, now unsure about his suggestion.

Bucky stared at Sam.

Sam cleared his throat a bit and continued on. “Not like, leading discussions or group or anything but I had visited the VA down here not too long ago. And the vets brought you up.”

Bucky looked away. He did not want to hear this. Whatever the vets had to say couldn’t be good. Bucky got up and walked toward the door to leave.

“Whoa whoa, where are you going?” Sam asked getting up to stop Bucky. As Bucky tried to open the door, Sam closed the door with a slight slam. “Stop!” Sam said.

Bucky looked at him with his glare. Sam just returned it, waiting for Bucky to speak. Visions of Bucky as the soldier started filling Sam’s head. The killings, the blood, the screams. “How about you let me finish before you go down that dark road of yours?” Sam said, breaking the visions and bringing Bucky back.

Sam leaned against the door with his shoulder and spoke again. “The vets brought you up because they really look up to you. All of them have been through an array of shit. But then they see you. How you are on missions, saving people, living in your apartment, having it together.”

“I don’t have it together.” Bucky snapped curling his lip and meeting Sam’s gaze.

Sam stared at Bucky. “Don’t take your setbacks as truth. You have come an extremely long way from an intensive amount of trauma, Bucky. Don’t ever diminish that.”

Bucky uncurled his lip and looked down.

“They see you, they see hope, Bucky. That’s a powerful thing.” Sam said, no longer leaning against the door. “And this isn’t a one way street thing. You might find something there too. Maybe add some more numbers to that old ass phone of yours.”

Bucky took in Sam’s words. Walked back to his bed area and layed down. He put his back to Sam but looked at the photos Sarah had given him.

Sam sat down on his bed. He reached over and turned off the desk lamp and turned on the sound machine. He laid down under the covers but turned to Bucky, whose back was still turned on him and said “You are worthy of it Bucky.” He then turned over and went to sleep.

Chapter Text

The days passed and no word from Bruce on how to reverse what happened to Bucky. AJ and Cass had gone to camp, came back, and started school. Bucky would walk them to where the bus would pick them up and in the afternoon would wait for them to come back. The boys would run off the bus throwing their bags on the ground and give Bucky pets and play a game of frisbee which all seemed to enjoy playing. The boys were the only ones able to get away with touching Bucky. Them and Sarah. Sam wondered why that was.

It was Saturday, still warm from the summer but not yet cold to the fall. Sam got the boys up early, packed a lunch and some fishing rods and corralled everyone to the truck, Bucky included. The boys got into the cabin of Sam’s truck and Bucky hopped into the truck bed. Sam started the truck and they headed to the docks. Bucky could hear Sam talking to the boys about some video game the boys wanted.

“You get to ride a horse, be an outlaw, it even has Louisiana in it! Well not IN it really cause it’s a made up world but it’s there.” AJ was telling Sam. “You can hunt, fish and collect guns and you are a COWBOY!” Cass chimed in.

“Guns…outlaws…what would your Mom say about this game?” Sam dryly responded knowing full well Bucky and he got the boys this game earlier in the week.

“That we need to understand the difference between real world and fake world and not get too wrapped up in the game.” AJ said.

“Don’t you like…deal with that in real life? Maybe it’s life training skills we are learning. Ever think of that Uncle Sam?” Cass said. Bucky could just HEAR Sam’s look to Cass. The boys continued on trying to convince Sam to buy this game.

Bucky listened idly but also just enjoyed the rocking of the truck, the air as it touched the tops of his ears from where he laid down in the truck bed. If Bucky was honest with himself, that calm from Wakanda, that calm he had last time he was with Sam’s family, was creeping back into him. He was feeling more at ease than he had in a long time. That constant ‘on edge’ feeling was seeping away. He didn’t feel the need to constantly check over his shoulder. He found himself smiling on purpose. He looked forward to the boys returning from school. Things were good.

Sam pulled into the docks and the boys ran out of the truck and jumped onto the boat. Bucky jumped down from the truck bed and headed to the boat as well. Sam shouted from the truck “No that's fine! I will just grab everything!”

“Sorry Sam, no hands. Can’t help.” Bucky said to Sam. He put his paw on the boat edge and looked down into the lapping water.

“Boys! Help me out here!” Sam shouted. The boys ran back, grabbed the items and headed back to the boat. Sam jumped on board, started the boat up and they headed out to sea. Finding their spot, they pulled out the fishing rods. Shortly after, the boys lost interest. They pulled out their Nintendo Switch and started playing a game.

“Oh sure, a video game about fishing you are all about. Do it in real life and it’s instantly boring!” Sam shouted to them

Bucky gave a small laugh, sat on a chair, feeling the sun warm him. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling. He liked the warmth.

“Oh so he can laugh!” Sam said, chuckling.

Bucky side eyed glared good naturedly at Sam then continued to stare at the water. They started to hear the boys argue. Looking over, Bucky saw Cass trying to grab the switch out of AJ’s hands. AJ was NOT letting it go easily. At some point when they were talking, AJ had taken off his lifejacket.

“Hey! Guys! Cool it! And AJ, put your life jacket back on!” Sam shouted from the otherside of the boat.

AJ shouted back at Sam “I can swim!” He still ignored Sam’s request and instead stood up on top of the chair seat, attempting to yank the switch out of Cass’ hands. “FINE!” Cass shouted at his brother and released the switch. AJ stumbled backwards. He lost his balance on top of the chair, hit the edge of the boat with his head causing a loud THUNK and fell overboard. Bucky was already out of the chair and jumping over the railing after AJ; Sam right behind him.

Bucky dove into the water and swam down. He opened his eyes, stinging with the salt water, he saw AJ under the water not moving. He swam down further, grabbed AJ by the back of his shirt and swam up to the water pushing AJs head above water. AJ started coughing and sputtering. Sam threw a lifesaver ring toward them and Bucky dragged AJ to the ring. AJ grabbed onto it and Sam dragged him to the ladder on the side of the boat. AJ wasn’t grasping it quite well so Bucky climbed up the ladder and attempted to pull AJ along with him. Grunting, he eventually was successful and Sam pulled AJ up.

“What did I say about the lifejacket, huh!” Sam nearly shouted at AJ. “Always keep it on!”

AJ gave a sniffle and didn’t respond. Sam checked his head, finding a nice sized lump but nothing outwardly worrying.

“We are going back, now.” Sam said to all of them once he saw AJ was alright. Knowing how head injuries can go, Sam knew they needed to still take him to the hospital to ensure AJ was fine. He started up the boat and headed back to the docks, calling Sarah along the way. AJ sat down and was shaking. Cass had his arm around AJ’s shoulders telling him he was fine and he could play with the switch. Bucky low crawled over and laid his head down on AJ’s lap. AJ threw his body over Bucky’s, hugging and crying.

“Sam, maybe do some touchy feely stuff over here?” Bucky thought to Sam, not minding providing comfort to the kid but knowing that the kid just needed a bit more. Sam sighed, knowing Bucky was right. He motioned for Cass to drive the boat and he walked over to AJ. AJ, still hugging Bucky, mumbled something.

“What was that?” Sam asked.

“I lost my glasses.” AJ said. “They fell into the water.”

Sam gave a small chuckle. “We can replace glasses, we can’t replace you. Do you know why I got so mad?”

“Because I took off the lifejacket and fought with Cass.” AJ said, lifting his head slightly to talk to Sam better.

“Fighting with your brother…is going to happen but you need to talk things through rather than fight. But I am pegging more on you taking off your lifejacket. You can drown like that. You always keep your lifejacket on, you can’t swim if you are unconscious. It’s literally called a lifejacket. It saves your life. It’s in the name.”

“It was hot.” AJ said.

“Then I could have thrown you into the water and cooled you off. Keep it on, always.” Sam said, looking AJ directly into the eyes to get his point across.

“I don’t want to go on the boat anymore.” AJ said.

“You know how I yelled at you once we got you back on the boat. I was very scared when you didn’t have your lifejacket on and you hit your head.” Sam put his arm around AJ’s back.

“So….I scared Captain America?” AJ said, smiling up at Sam.

“Yes, yes you did. Being Captain America has nothing to do with not being scared. Being scared happens to everyone. It’s not letting being scared control you. You have to face your fears and, if you feel like you can’t, ask for help.”

Bucky had a feeling that the last part of the conversation was meant for him but didn’t comment. Sam reached out to give AJ a hug. AJ released Bucky and hugged Sam.

Once AJ was done with the hug, he stood up and went to pick up his lifejacket to put it on.

“Maybe it’s ok to keep going on the boat.” AJ said. “Just no fighting with Cass.”

“That’s my man with a plan!” Sam said excitedly. Sam stood up and relieved Cass from driving the boat. Bucky followed Sam into the cabin, feeling the water drop off his fur and dry in spots. He watched Cass and AJ go back to their chairs and put away their fishing rods. Cass gave AJ the switch and was helping him with some game, the earlier chaos forgotten. Bucky looked at his chair, now on the boat floor, and AJ’s chair calculating the distance.

“Can you get a sunburn?” Sam asked out of the blue.

Bucky looked over his shoulder to check if the boys were nearby. They were on the other end of the boat, engrossed in their game, fishing poles forgotten. He looked back at Sam.

“I mean, as a dog and as a super soldier.” Sam said.

“I have no idea if dogs get a sunburn.” Bucky said, looking back at the water. He knew the answer on the super soldier part, he remembered the early testing of the serum. He felt a pull to share that with Sam, unsure as to WHY he wanted to share it with Sam. It would not do Sam any good to hear of those days. Bucky wondered if he shared with Sam, would Sam just recoil and reject him after. Taking a chance, with his ears flat against his skull at the memory, he continued. “When I was…him….during Hydra training…there was a way to get a sunburn.”

Sam didn’t press that statement. He looked back out at the water and continued to drive the boat. Surprisingly, Bucky continued.

“They never had someone survive the serum before me. They had to stress test it in all kinds of ways to ensure the soldier would work in all elements and conditions. They threw him…me…into this room with lights installed to mimic the sun. It was a few days but eventually I lost consciousness from exhaustion, dehydration. They used their pain sticks to wake me and it started again. My skin started to blister and ooze. When I collapsed again, and didn’t wake with the pain sticks, they jammed an adrenaline shot into my neck and it started again. Eventually, they turned it off and documented how long it took for it to heal.” Bucky finished talking and Sam sat there stunned. Sam knew how hard it was for Bucky to offer up detailed information about his past. Sam had read some reports of the ‘stress testing’ back when Steve and he were trying to find Bucky. It was more clinical, this was more real.

“That’s…horrific man” Sam said. “But I am honored you shared that with me. I know sharing it must have been difficult and I am glad you told me.”

Bucky nodded toward Sam but didn’t offer anything else. The anxiety of sharing that information was gone and in its place was just a bit of that warmth he felt from sitting in a chair in the sun.

He went back to staring at the chair and recalculated the distance. It didn’t add up. He should have been quicker. He should have been able to catch AJ before he fell into the water. He should have been stronger, pulling AJ up onto the boat. And that was not him being critical of himself….that was a fact. He was losing his speed and strength. But that, he kept to himself.

Chapter Text

A few days after the boat incident new glasses were purchased for AJ and the doctor said AJ would be fine. Sam received a text from Bruce that said they didn't have much but wanted to give them an update. The boys had just left for school and Bucky was trotting back up to the house from where he helped drop off the boys. Sam, waiting for him on the porch, waved the Starkpad and motioned for Bucky to come into the house. Setting up the Starkpad, Bucky sitting next to him, Sam called Bruce.

“Well Sam, this Dog Ray is just…wonky.” Bruce said over video chat.

“Dog Ray is so boring. What about Canine Phaser or Fluff Photons!” Sam heard Peter off screen offer as a name substitute.

Bruce sighed, closed his eyes and seemingly counted to 10, opened his eyes, and resumed talking to Sam. “It’s like alien….and earth…ian…and just blended tech merged together in the weirdest ways. I dunno but Peter and I are looking at it. But I do know they weren’t finished. So hitting Bucky with the Dog Ray..”

“Fluff Photon or Rex Ray!” Peter chimed in.

Bruce paused, stared into the phone and after a breath continued. “......what have you, Bucky’s form may not be the final product. We are working on reversing the effects and making some headway. It's just very slow work to make the Doggoneit Ray.”

“Sorry what?” Sam said, confused.

“Hey Sam!” Peter said, taking the phone from Bruce and coming into view. “We’re calling it the DogGoneIt Ray! Cause you know, Dog Gone? Make Bucky no longer a dog? Dog be gone? It’s a pun and makes it fun! Oh that rhymed.” Peter said.

Bucky looked at Sam. “We are not calling it that. Ask if Thor has heard anything.”

“What about Thor?” Sam asked for Bucky.

“Thor didn’t know anything about it but said he would ask around.” Bruce said, taking the phone back from Peter. “We are making some progress but it's slow. Hang in there Bucky!”

Bucky huffed in response.

“I did a thorough review of your brain scan, Bucky. So your body is that of a dog, that part is obvious. But your brain cognitive functions are that of a human. There is a slight overlap however between a dog brain and a human brain.” Bruce said.

“What does that even mean?” Sam asked.

“It means that while Bucky is mainly ‘human thinking’ there are ‘dog thinking’ aspects that may make themselves known.” Bruce said.

Sam looked to Bucky but Bucky was looking away. Bucky didn’t seem very surprised by this knowledge. Sam remembered Bucky giving a ‘dog whine’ after a nightmare back in New York. How Bucky tried to hide himself occasionally ‘sniffing’ at something. Bucky meanwhile just jumped down from the chair and left out the door without even as much as a goodbye. Sam watched him leave out the front door.

“Well thank you for keeping at it. I am sure Bucky” Sam looking back at Bruce on the phone, “appreciates your efforts. In his own way.” They disconnected the call and Sam rubbed his hands over his face trying to absorb what they had learned.

“Let’s go for a run Sam.” Bucky said from outside, looking inside from the screen on the front door.

“What, again? We ran this morning, we ran last night, we ran yesterday. There is a thing as too much exercise. What, feeling bored with this country life city boy?” Sam asked, teasing Bucky.

Bucky didn’t respond but moved away from the screen door.

“Bucky, hey buddy wait.” Sam said, following him out the door. He saw Bucky already trotting down the driveway. “Look stop will you? Seriously, why all the running. Be straight with me.”

Bucky turned to look at Sam but then looked away. He did not immediately answer and Sam gave him the room to answer.

“I’m getting….slower.” He said, hesitantly.

“Slower?” Sam asked. “You beat me every time. What do you mean slower?”

“Each day we run, I get just a bit slower each time. I tried pulling your truck the other day. It was hard when it should have been easy.” Bucky said to Sam.

Sam stared at Bucky and stopped himself from just telling Bucky he was tired and dismissing this entirely. He hadn’t noticed Bucky getting slower or weaker. But Bucky would be a better judge of his speed and strength than Sam would be. They also were going to talk about not using his truck to test his strength. He is not sure insurance would cover “damage by super soldier” but that was for another time.

“Anything else that you noticed?” Sam asked, leaning against the porch post and crossing his arms comfortably, processing what Bucky was saying.

“That’s about it so far. I haven’t tested the healing factor. If you have a knife on you, you can slice me real quick.” Bucky said, starting to walk over to Sam.

“That is NOT happening and I cannot even begin to say how wrong that was to suggest.” Sam said, chuckling, and putting his hands up to stop Bucky from even further entertaining the thought. “This has to be something to do with the dog thing. Dunno how this would cause you to lose your super soldier side. That science stuff is beyond me. But they are working on it, Bucky. Hang tight ok?” Sam sat on the porch and Bucky sat next to him.

“Wh….what if…what if I lose the super soldier strength? Stay in this dog body forever…..” Bucky looked over at Sam. Sam returned his gaze evenly and tried to push the same thoughts of doubt he had from his mind.

“Don’t think down that path just yet. But if you do, you can live out your years here. Go on the boat occasionally. Maybe make you a doggie jetpack. You could join me on missions!” Sam said. “Captain America with his trusty dog companion!”

Dogs give the best side eye Sam thought to himself.

“I am still going for a run.” He told Sam. With that he trotted off down the road. Sam let him go. Sarah pulled up the driveway as Bucky headed out. Sam got up to help her unload the groceries from the car.

“He going for a run again?” Sarah asked.

“Yeah, it’s fine. I am working with him on it.” Sam said.

They put away the groceries and Sam sat down to relax in front of the TV. Having had this link with Bucky, he could now feel when Bucky was going out of range and that familiar feeling was coming back. Sighing, Sam changed the channel. 10 minutes into a show, Sarah called him to help her outside. Sam got up, walked out the door, and then promptly fell to the ground screaming.

Sam couldn’t stop the images coming into his head, he couldn't filter them out and they just kept coming in waves.

Tied to a ceiling, being punched in the ribs.

“Stay down DOG” a man said in a Russian accent with a kick to the face.

Unable to get up, tied to the floor with chains from around his neck, a cage all around him. He couldn’t get out.

“Muzzle it! I am sick of it’s screams.” A man said, a mask placed over his face. He could not move his mouth, could not scream.

A man blowing smoke in his face “You just do what we say you stupid bitch. Be a good dog. Maybe you will get a treat?” Men laughing. Kicks, blows, someone spits on him.

Then everything went black.

Sam awoke to Sarah slapping his face, saying his name over and over.

“SAM!!!” Sarah screamed.

Sam weakly moved her hands away from his face.

“Iam finnnnn” he said, slurring slightly. He started to come back to his senses. He opened his eyes and squinted against the bright light and moved to his side to slowly get up. He felt a hand on his shoulder pushing him back down.

“Hold it right there, take a few moments to get yourself together.” Sarah said, pushing him back down.

Sam collapsed backwards and took some deep breaths. The blinding pain behind his eyes was going away. The images he had were fuzzy and slowly disappearing like wisps of fog. The world was becoming less horribly brightening and back into its standard color.

“What happened?” Sarah asked Sam.

“Bucky.” Sam said. “Bucky is in trouble. I will be right back.” With that he got up and ran inside the house. He came back with the wings and fired them up. He jumped and took flight into the air leaving Sarah in a cloud of dust and broken blades of grass. He listened for Bucky in his head to say something, anything. He knew Bucky would reach out that way in some fashion. Sam started doing circles every 6 mile radius. At about 18 miles of searching, Sam felt Bucky. He was getting disjointed images again like he was before but more subdued and not as migraine inducing as last time.

Sam followed this until they became stronger. Soon, he didn’t have any images, just static and the feelings of overwhelming fear and anger. Not wanting to dwell on what that meant at the time, he followed the static and emotions until he was at an abandoned farm. Gently and quietly landing in the woods nearby, he walked up to the farm. He heard a voice coming from the dilapidated barn. The barn’s color had been worn off long ago and the wood had been aged, cracked, and split. The roof was missing in spots and Sam wasn’t sure if it would hold his weight if he came in from the top. Looking around he could see a gap through the slats into the barn giving him the perfect view of the inside. Walking up quietly, Sam looked inside.

At the end of the barn was Bucky. He was collared and tied to the floor so he could barely even lift his head.He had a muzzle around his snout, preventing him from biting. At the other end of the barn was Rick.

“That fucking asshole!” Sam said to himself. He started to go around the side of the barn to confront Rick when Rick started to make some sort of movement. Going back to the slats Sam saw Rick pull out a bow and arrow. He started to pull it back to fire one at Bucky.

Sam shouted “NO!” He fired up his wings and burst through the side of the barn spraying the room with splintered pieces of wood. He barrel rolled into Rick knocking him down but Sam was a little too late. The arrow was released and landed straight into Bucky’s side.

Bucky screamed in his head but Sam pushed that to the side for now, solely focusing on pummeling Rick in the face.

“You miserable sack of shit! What do you think you are doing, huh?” Sam shouted. Rick attempted to fight back but Sam, having experience in fighting as a superhero and in the military, outmatched Rick ten fold. Rick went unconscious. Sam tossed Rick to the side and ran over to Bucky. The arrow was still on his side and he was bleeding. When Sam looked closer this wasn’t the first arrow that had hit Bucky. Rick had used one arrow over and over again, pulling it from Bucky’s body, then shooting Bucky’s body repeatedly. He was bleeding from three other wounds that Sam saw from his quick look over but with black fur, it was hard to tell what was red from blood. Bucky saw Sam coming up to him and started snarling and growling viciously.

“Hey, hey, hey Buck! It’s me, it's Sam! Come on man. Calm down.” Sam attempted to calm Bucky but Bucky wasn't hearing or responding to him. Sam was getting bursts of those same memories Bucky was projecting earlier. Now that Sam was expecting them, they didn’t overtake him…by much. In between the memories was that same static and emotions Sam felt when trying to find him. Bucky was bouncing between the two so fast it was making Sam dizzy.

“It’s ok Bucky, I got you. It’s going to be ok.” Sam reached out to Bucky. Bucky snarled viciously, a growl deep in his throat, eyes moving around wildly. Taking a chance, Sam slowly reached over to unhook the muzzle around Bucky’s face. He moved closer, inch by inch, giving Bucky full knowledge of where he was going to touch and being sure to avoid the arrow in Bucky’s body. When Sam came close to the muzzle binding on top of Bucky’s head, Bucky froze and went silent. His eyes zeroed in and trained on Sam, watching for any wrong move but the growling and snarling stopped. Bucky got very still and very silent. Sam felt the air change around him, like the air before lightning strikes nearby, all charged and in suspense. It made Sam’s hair stand on end on the back of his neck that Sam knew was his body telling him ‘danger.’

Sam ignored these signs, acknowledging they existed but he needed to bring Bucky back mentally and then help him physically. He continued to slowly move to the top buckle of the muzzle and slowly unbuckled it, pulling it off Bucky’s face, continuing his constant stream of murmurings. Once the muzzle was off of Bucky, Sam pulled it away. Bucky resumed his snarling and growling but did not move to bite Sam, which Sam was grateful for. The last bites Bucky had given him hurt and Sam was not looking to repeat that any time soon.

Sam then slowly moved to the collar and as his hands got closer, Bucky attempted to snap at Sam’s hands, saliva dripping from his snout but was held in place with the chain attached to the collar and floor. Sam didn’t flinch but stopped until Bucky stopped attempting to bite him. Once he did, Sam moved his hands closer and Bucky again froze, staring at Sam and that same hair raised feeling returned. Sam moved slowly and unhooked the collar. Once it was released Bucky stumbled and limped away, getting as far from Sam as possible, to a far corner of the barn. He suppressed whimpering. He kept his eyes zeroed in on Sam and Sam, if he was being honest with himself, knew that look. Even in dog form that was the same look as the Winter Soldier.

Chapter Text

Chapter 10

“Bucky, I need you to come back to me man.” Sam said. “You are very much hurt and I need to see what we can do about that.” Sam was crouched, hands out in front of him trying to give off as much non-threatening vibes as he could muster. Bucky was crouched into the farthest corner of the barn, continuing his growling and snarling and not letting Sam get close. Every hair on Bucky’s body was on end and his head was down low, protecting as much as he could the vulnerable parts of his body. Sam looked at the ground beneath Bucky and saw blood dripping to the floor far too fast for his liking.

Sam called Bruce on his comms.

“You are going to need to get your green ass down here man. We have a problem.” Sam said as a way of greeting Bruce once he answered.

“Problem? What do you mean ‘problem?’” Bruce asked.

“I don’t have time to explain. Bring that wand brain thing with you. Get down here asap.” With that he cut off the comms.

********

Meanwhile Bruce, back in New York, looked at his cell and saw Sam had disconnected the call. He turned to Peter and said “Do you know where Sam lives?”

Peter looked up from his microscope and thought about Bruce’s question. He shrugged and responded “….South?”

********

Back in Louisiana, Sam was still trying to reach Bucky, both verbally and physically, but wasn’t getting anywhere.

“Ok Bucky, it’s me man. Sam. We met a long time ago, we had a mutual friend Steve Rogers. He was your friend growing up.” At the mention of Steve, Bucky raised his head a little. Sam, seeing his window, kept going. “Steve was this scrawny guy who was always getting into trouble. You would get him out of it, always.” The static, the overwhelming fear and anger in his head was starting to dim. “He became Captain America. But in the end, he gave me the shield. I gave it to a museum and you were pissed. We got it back, I became Captain America.” Soon the static and emotions were dimming more until it was silent again. The snarling went away, the growling stopped and all Sam heard was a faint “Sam?” Then Bucky fell over unconscious.

Sam ran over to him and felt for a pulse. Realizing very soon he has no idea how to check for a pulse on a dog, he puts his hand in front of Bucky’s face to check for breathing. He felt the air and quickly put his arms under Bucky’s body and picked him up. Bucky hung limply in his arms, giving no resistance. Sam activated his wings and launched out of the barn through the large front doors and sped home as fast as he could.

“Sarah!” Sam shouted. Sam landed on the front porch of his house and kicked open the porch door. In the kitchen, he took his arm and cleared off the kitchen table; dishes and cups clattering to the floor. Sarah rushed in from the living room.

“What happened?” Sarah said, rushing to the table. Seeing Bucky’s wounds, she grabbed kitchen towels and pushed them against the wounds, trying to stop the bleeding. “He is losing a lot of blood, Sam.” Sarah said, seeing it now on the kitchen table.

“Rick. He got Bucky, tied him up, and shot him with arrows.” Sam said, taking off his gear and grabbing more towels to try and stop the bleeding.

“Bucky didn’t…you know….go Bucky on him?” Sarah said, disbelieving.

“I dunno what happened. Long story but his super soldier….ness is fading. And by the looks of these wounds so is his healing.” Sam tried checking for further injuries.

Sarah handed the towels to Sam and picked up her phone.

“Who are you calling?” Sam asked, trying to push towels on the multiple wounds and then getting the kitchen first aid kit. Sam was thankful Sarah had rambunctious boys and was well prepared. He opened the kit and pulled out gauze and some antiseptic quickly realizing it wasn’t going to be enough.

“Althea? I have an emergency. Need you at my house now. I have a very, very hurt dog.” Sarah said into the phone. She listened to the other end and, once it seemed the other person finished, she hung up.

“Who is Althea?” Sam asked.

“A friend who lives two doors down. She’s home and coming over now.” Sarah said, helping Sam clean some of the wounds. “She is the local veterinarian.”

“We can’t have some veterinarian coming here to treat a super soldier trapped in a dog's body!” Sam said, his voice getting steadily higher.

“He is a dog right now and he isn't doing too well. If you have a better idea, I am all ears.” Sarah said, giving Sam a steady gaze. Sam looked back at Sarah and realized while he had field training in treating wounds, he was clueless in dog anatomy. There was too much blood to not have an artery nicked. Before Sam could say anything there was a knock on the door. Sarah raised her eyebrows at Sam for the final ok to go with her plan. Sam nodded and Sarah answered the door.

Althea came in with a backpack and immediately went over to Bucky.

“Hi, I am Althea, can you tell me what happened?” Althea started, setting the bag on the floor and pulling out surgical gloves. She then started slowly removing the blood soaked towels from Bucky’s sides and checking the wounds underneath. She looked at the arrow on Bucky's side and gingerly touched where it was still stuck in Bucky’s body.

“This guy, Rick, took him and tied him up in a barn and he started shooting him with arrows. I got there too late it seems and he had hit him a few times already.” Sam updated Althea and saw Bucky was slightly stirring on the table but not close to being alert or awake. He then turned to Sarah.

“I think it's best if you head into town, make a police report. Maybe less people here….the better?” Sam said trying to communicate to his sister should Bucky wake up may not be good and Sam could only protect one of them. Sarah, taking the hint, nodded and left. Althea, in the meantime, was checking Bucky’s eyes with an ophthalmoscope.

“He hit this dog with some pretty heavy drugs here. This puppy is not coherent at all.” Althea said.

She took the stethoscope off her neck and placed them into her ears. She took the other end and listened to his breathing and heart. Taking it off and placing it back around her neck she told Sam “Lungs and heart are good. That guy came real close with his arrow here to his lung and looked like he just missed it.” She reached in her pack and pulled out hair clippers. She plugged them in and shaved the hair away from the wounds to get a better look. Sam winced thinking Bucky was NOT going to like that when he woke up.

Once they were shaven, she had a better look and found the artery that was causing the issue. She pushed on the artery and the blood flow coming onto the table slowed. “Reach into my pack and there is a green kit. Open it and place it on the table please.” She said calmly. Sam did as she asked and left the open green kit on the table. She pulled out a needle and thread from the kit and stitched the artery. She then moved onto the other wounds and started stitching those.

“What is this puppy’s name?” She asked conversationally.

“Uh…Bucky. He is…was….a friend's dog. I am sorta…watching over him for now.” Sam said. Bucky stirred slightly and gave out a low whimper.

“I know Bucky, everything is going to be alright there sweetie.” She said to Bucky. “Pet his head will you, that sometimes helps.”

Sam went to Bucky’s head and reached out to touch it. He stopped himself and said “He has an issue with…touch. Not from kids…or Sarah it seems. But probably best to also look out when or if he wakes. He isn’t too keen on medical stuff also.”

“Was he a rescue?” Althea asked, gently removing the arrow from Bucky’s shoulder and closing up the wound as well.

“Yeah, you could say that.” Sam said, chuckling slightly.

“So good with kids, good with women, not good with men. Sounds like men mainly abused this dog and he remembers. Take your time with him, he will soon learn to trust. It will take a long time. Any setbacks will REALLY set you back but he will learn to trust you in time.” Althea moved to the last wound and started stitching it up.

Sam thought about what she said. It rang true, somewhat. Bucky wasn’t a real dog but when Sam thought about it he was surrounded for 70 years with cruel and horrible men. They offered no comfort, no non-painful touch so, as off base as Althea was….she was spot on.

“Yeah…maybe.” Sam said softly. He went up closer to Bucky's head and reached out his hand. Bucky was still unconscious so Sam took the opportunity to reach out and touch his head. If he were unconscious as a human, he would do the same, stroke the hair to offer anyone comfort in this type of situation. Or so he rationalized with himself. He petted Bucky as Althea continued to work on him. Once she was done she cleaned the rest of the blood off. Sam took a look and saw she did an amazing job.

“Looks like the worst was the arrow wounds. I would need to take him for an X-ray to check on the rest but for now this will do.” She said looking at Sam and giving him a small encouraging smile. She removed her gloves and started feeling around on Bucky’s midsection for broken ribs. She had a confused look on her face as she checked the left ribs. “What is going on here?” She asked.

She felt again and turned to Sam. “He has….metal ribs? Here and here.” She pointed to the ribs close to Bucky’s missing arm. Sam tried to suppress his surprise. He didn’t know Bucky had metal ribs. Sam quickly put two and two together that the ribs must have connected to the large metal arm before the Wakandians were able to help Bucky. Hydra must have realized the arm they forcibly attached to him must have been so heavy they removed extra ribs and replaced them with metal ones. Sam wondered how soon they realized that before they made the ‘modifications’ and what Bucky had to endure during that time. Sam felt bile creep up into his mouth but pushed it down.

He ended up saying “Uhm…well I think before my friend found him, he was a medical experimentation dog?” Sam internally winced. Maybe he was bad at lying. Althea looked at him questioningly but moved on. “Is that where he lost his leg?” She asked, checking the shoulder that had Bucky’s missing leg.

“Uh no, that he lost falling from a….cliff…hiking…. with my friend.” Sam said. Althea looked at him questioningly again but still moved on with her exam.

“The shoulder here of the missing leg was expertly repaired. Amazing work, really.” Althea said continuing on with her exam.

“Yeah when he first...fell, the job was rushed and not well done. My friend got him better care and they fixed him up better.” Sam remembered Steve talking about how butchered Bucky’s shoulder was. The Wakandians were able to fix it, causing Bucky little to no pain on his missing limb. Something Hydra never bothered with. The more Sam thought about it, the Wakanda medical staff was probably the first gentle touch Bucky had received in over 70 years.

Althea finished her exam and looked back at Sam. Sam snapped out of his thoughts to hear her say, “He is going to be alright. Keep him comfortable and rested. Make sure he eats and drinks but take it slow. If he has any other issues give me a call ok?” She started packing up her kit.

“I can’t thank you enough, what…what do I owe you?” He asked.

“Nothing,” Althea said. “Not everyday I get to help Captain America.” She flashed him a stunning smile and Sam couldn’t help but smile back. “I appreciate it.” He said. “But I have to repay you somehow.”

“Free dessert at your sister's restaurant for …a month.” Althea said in response.

Sam laughed. “Deal!”

Althea went back to packing her kit when Sam said to her “Say, in your expertise, what type of dog is he?”

Althea took another look at Bucky. “Can't say for sure without a DNA test but it seems, by some of his features, he is a black German shepherd, pit bull, and with those paws he is also part wolf.”

“Wolf?” Sam asked.

“Yep. Wolf.” Althea said.

Sam laughed loudly. Althea looked at him in surprise and Sam said “inside joke but I am going to LOVE telling my friend this.” Giving a few aftershock chuckles, Sam continued on. “So, shepherd and pit bull with some wolf. So protector with the shepherd, attack dog with the pit bull, and feral with the wolf. Fits him rather perfectly.”

Althea's smile had immediately turned into a scowl and her eyes met Sam’s, glaring. Sam was slightly taken aback wondering what he said.

“Let me fix some misconceptions there. All dogs' personalities are different. A lot of it goes into how you train them. A pit bull is NOT an attack dog. You train a dog to attack, they will attack. So what you have here is a dog that has been previously long term medically abused, physically abused yes I saw the signs, and emotionally abused. So any attacking this dog does is in pure self defense at this point. Additionally dogs want to please and protect those around them. So what you have here is a dog who has a few different types of background that just wants to please and protect those around him. And in return just wants love and affection.” Althea continued to stare at Sam unwavering.

“Yes ma’am. I didn’t mean to offend, I apologize.” Sam said, taking one hand off of Bucky’s head and holding it up in surrender.

“Pitbills and the like get a bad rap. And I hate to see it continue with uneducated thinking.” Althea responded, breaking her gaze and finished packing up her gear.

“Last question,” Sam said. Althea looked up from packing.

“Ask as many questions as you like,” she said.

“Eating fast…what the hell is that?” Sam asked.

“Is this new behavior or continuing behavior?” Althea asked.

“New. I mean, dunno about before but up until I have known him he has recently eaten…normal for him.” Sam said.

“Could be anything medical like parasites or something with his stomach. But, honestly from what you were telling me, it could be downright anxiety. That dog is dealing with a heap of trauma. So just keep doing what you are doing, build his trust. That should go away. You could try special bowls or maybe walking and eating. Hand feed him. Another thing could be competition. Maybe on some level he thinks it will be snatched away. I mean I am guessing this dog started as a stray, then was caught for medical testing, then found by your friend but fell from a cliff and lost his leg. Now his friend is gone and he is in this new house and with new people. Lot of transition for one lonely little pup. I suggest trying various things to see what works but really just try with the trust building and reduce his anxiety. If he gets really bad, call me.” She finished packing her equipment and slung her pack over her shoulder.

“Welp, that is all for now. I expect my first payment tonight, cheesecake. With strawberries please.” With that she smiled at Sam again and left.

Later on Sarah came home after making the police report. Rick was arrested at the local hospital after having left the barn. She saw the kitchen was still a mess and got to cleaning it up, checking the clock to see when the boys would be home. She worked fast to ensure the kitchen was clean when the boys came in. As she finished mopping the floor, the boys came in.

“Mom! Bucky wasn’t at the bus stop!” AJ said, slamming open the porch door.

“DON’T dirty up these floors!” Sarah shouted sternly. The boys froze in the doorway. They took off their shoes and quietly walked across the kitchen floors. “Now, Bucky got hurt but he is going to be alright.”

“How was he hurt?” Cass asked quietly.

“A man hurt him.” Sarah walked over to the boys and crouched down so she was eye level with them. “The police are already handling it but Bucky is hurt. He is still sleeping so be quiet and later on you can see him. So go outside, get the wiggles out. And then come back in and quietly do your homework. After dinner, I called Elijah’s and Levi’s parents and you both are spending the night there, ok?” The boys nodded and Sarah stood back up. “Do you have any questions?” She asked.

“How bad?” AJ asked. Sarah got a brief reminder when he asked that same question when her husband and their father died. Sarah pushed the thought aside and responded “You know Althea? From down the road? She came and looked at him and thought everything was going to be alright. Bucky is strong.”

“Just like the real Bucky.” Cass said to AJ.

Sarah gently pushed the boys back outside. Once they were out the door, she quietly headed upstairs to Sam's room.

Chapter Text

Sarah gently knocked on Sam’s door and opened it. Sam was sitting in his chair, elbows on his knees staring at Bucky. Sarah walked over and gently rubbed his shoulders and gave him a hug.

Bucky laid on Sam’s bed. Comically, Sarah thought to herself, as Sam had placed him with Bucky’s head on the pillow and Sam’s navy blue comforter covering him. She saw the comforter rise and fall with Bucky’s deep sleep breathing. She just hoped that he was under the tranquilizer enough so as to not have to be jolted awake with nightmares, aggravating his injuries further. 

Nightmares and night terrors were something Sarah knew well, from an outsider perspective. She remembered when Sam had come home after Riley. He was just a shell of his former self and would sit in his room for hours doing nothing. He would just sit in the chair and stare, or lay on the floor. When he would sleep, he would scream Riley’s name waking the entire house. She remembered her Mom would go in there and try to soothe his nightmares and hear her brother break down. He would retell what happened, how helpless he was to get to Riley, and all he could do was standby and watch. Being helpless is something that never sits well with Sam. Sarah was in awe of the hard work Sam put into bringing himself back from that every day. She fully believes it was destiny for Sam and Bucky to cross paths. Sam, to help Bucky find peace with his past. Bucky, to help Sam realize his potential to lead.

(a/n - Please read disclaimer before proceeding)

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Sarah came close to that helpless feeling during the blip. She thanked God, fate, whomever, that she and the boys were safe. She would have lost her mind otherwise with grief. She was at work when people started disappearing. Once she realized what was happening she raced to her car and to the local school. Everyone was losing their minds. The teachers that were left were trying to maintain the calm as other parents were storming the schools, trying to find their children. Some did, some didn’t. She found her sons, who were hugging each other close in shock. She grabbed them and hugged them tight. She took them home and she did not let go for days in fear they would be taken away. It was much later she realized Sam was gone. The next 5 years were spent with Earth-wide felt grief and working on rebuilding. The feeling of grief never let up. There were upsides to people being gone, but the downside was…people were gone. Nothing replaces that emptiness.

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“Althea says he is going to be alright.” Sarah quietly told Sam not to disturb Bucky. 

Sam sighed and leaned back in his chair. “Yeah, she told me that too. Just…it's the other thing. Wish we knew more about this whole situation instead of Bucky being some sort of lab experiment. If he loses his super soldier abilities entirely, I am not sure what that will do to him.” Sam said. “You spend 70 plus years fighting with that on your side and then poof! It’s gone.” 

“Let’s not dwell too much on what we don’t know much about. Focus on getting him awake, healed. That has to be the plan.” Sarah said. “I am taking the boys to Elijah and Levi’s after dinner. They are spending the night there. Give you and Bucky some space and some quiet.”  She gave Sam one last hug and left the room to make dinner. Sam gave a sigh and picked up the book he had sitting on his desk. He opened The Hobbit and read the first line aloud to Bucky’s sleeping form. “In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hold, and that means comfort.”

*****

The boys had come in quietly, to see Bucky. Bucky was still unconscious but Sam assured the boys that Bucky was just tired and is going to be alright. AJ gave Bucky a gentle hug and left his Sam Wilson Falcon Action Figure next to him. “You will be fine, Bucky. You are strong.” he whispered to Bucky.

Sarah had left with the boys in tow and had left to drop them off at Elijah and Levi’s. Coincidentally, that is when Bruce called Sam.

Sam, having his phone on silent, quickly exited his room and answered in a soft tone so as not to wake Bucky. Sam was certain that Bucky was still under the influence of the sedative Rick had forced in him however.

“Hey,” Sam said. “You here?”

“Do you know that you didn’t tell anyone where you live? But thankfully Friday is still smart.” Bruce said in sarcastic annoyance.

Sam smiled at the realization and gave a small laugh. He walked over to the closest window overlooking the front lawn. He moved back the curtain and looked out the window seeing Bruce on the front lawn. Something about a large green man on his front lawn just looked as if it fit in Louisiana. Like some friendly swamp creature coming over for tea. Sam waved and Bruce, catching Sam in the window, waved back. Sam disconnected the call and headed downstairs to let him in.

Once inside, Bruce followed Sam upstairs. Sam filled him in along the way about Rick, about Bucky saying he felt slower, everything. Once in Sam’s room, Bruce pulled out the brain scanning wand and turned it on. He started scanning Bucky’s unconscious form.

“So you said he is losing his strength, healing, speed, everything.” Bruce said, continuing his scanning.

“Yeah,” Sam responded. “Seems to be recent though. He just told me this morning but he knew about it for a few days it seems.

“The fact this tranquilizer is still affecting him leads me to believe that. Bucky should be awake by now, with how fast the serum burns through things. He seems pretty good though, all things considered.” Bruce said, checking on Bucky’s injuries as he continued his scan. “That veterinarian did a very good job.” Bruce finished his scans and motioned for Sam that they could exit the room. Sam left the room and closed the door once Bruce exited. Downstairs in the living room, Bruce started packing up his items. 

“You can stay here man.” Sam gestured to the couch and both Sam and Bruce looked at it quickly taking in the size of the couch and the size of Bruce.

“Uhhm….I take up a lot of room and that is a very kind offer. But I have all the equipment in the quinjet. It’s parked in some cleared out wooded swamp area. Honestly, I feel like Yoda is going to pop up at any moment.” Bruce chuckled, picking up his bag and slinging it over his shoulder. “I will be back in the morning but, if he wakes up before I get here in the morning, give me a call alright.” With that, he re-shouldered his bag and followed Sam to the front porch. “I am going to spend some time on these scans and see where Peter is at with the Doggonit Ray”

Sam and Bruce headed to the front porch. “Are we really calling it that?” Sam said, chuckling.

“Look, it keeps the kid entertained and the name is growing on me.” Bruce responded, smiling.  

Sam smiled back, but it slowly faded. “What do you think is going on Bruce? Spitball with me or something.” Sam said to Bruce.

“I don’t have anything concrete but, in my opinion, overall it seems that being transformed into a dog is literally changing Bucky into a full on dog. I am guessing, when I compare these scans, it's going to show a lower cognitive function.” Bruce told Sam.

“So less Bucky, more dog?” Sam asked. 

Bruce nodded in response. “The fact he wasn’t immediately ‘dog like’ or hasn’t turned into one quicker probably means the serum was fighting…whatever this is off easier. I am guessing it’s like when you are sick and your white blood cell count is low. Your body is fighting off an infection. It could be that the serum is losing the battle and the Fluff Photons are winning.”

Sam gave Bruce an incredulous look.

Bruce sighed. “I really really need a break from that kid.” Taking a moment to think, Bruce looked off into the darkened woods. Sam took a moment to review what Bruce had said and Bruce spoke again. “You said you heard ‘static’ through your psychic link, right?”

Sam nodded and Bruce looked back at Sam and continued on. “It could be that Bucky, at that time, was more dog than human, more feral. So his thought, that sense of self, was gone. Nothing but….static.  I don’t think it was the Winter Soldier making a re-appearance, though to be honest that ferocity that the soldier had was not that far from animalistic.”

Sam crossed his arms and stared at the ground, trying to calm his mind with this information. Bruce stepped closer to Sam and gently put his hand on his shoulder. “Don’t lose hope, I know it’s rough.”

Sam just sighed and looked at Bruce. He tensed his jaw “What you are telling me is that Bucky is going to slowly be losing himself day by day…again. I am going to just watch him lose himself bit by bit without being able to fight off some baddie, or fix it in any way. I can only just sit here and watch it happen. That helplessness….is….bone aching.”

Bruce put his bag down and placed his other hand on Sam’s other shoulder. He pulled in him for a gentle hug and Sam let it happen. After a moment, Bruce released Sam from the hug and looked him directly in the eyes.

“You are not helpless and we are fighting this the best we can. You are doing the best part of all of this. Supporting Bucky, helping him through this. He was alone before but now, he has a whole team of friends. Peter and I are getting closer but it’s getting to be time to call in some reinforcements. I felt like, the last time I brought this up, the Wakandians were off the table. But, maybe we should reach out and try to see what a conversation brings about.” Bruce released Sam’s shoulders and picked up his bag.

Sam nodded and took a deep breath. “I will see what I can do on that front. They have an issue with Bucky currently, but not with me…maybe…hopefully….” 

Bruce nodded. “Keep me posted! I can be back here first thing in the morning.” With that, he turned and walked down the road, once he got to the end, he turned and waved. Sam, still waiting, waved him off from the porch.

Sam walked back into the house and opened the fridge. He pulled out a bottle of water and drank it all. Wiping his mouth with his sleeve, he threw the bottle into the recyclable bin. He saw headlights coming down the driveway and knew Sarah was returning. He headed back upstairs and resumed his position, sitting in the chair and continuing to read the Hobbit. 

Chapter Text

Bucky’s POV

“Wh….what if…what if I lose the super soldier strength? Stay in this dog body forever…..” Bucky looked over at Sam. Sam returned his gaze evenly and Bucky did his best to hide any further doubt.

“Don’t think down that path just yet. But if you do, you can live out your years here. Go on the boat occasionally. Maybe make you a doggie jetpack. You could join me on missions!” Sam said. “Captain America with his trusty dog companion!”

Bucky gave Sam the best side eye he could muster. It must have worked as Sam chuckled.  

“I am still going for a run.” He told Sam. With that he trotted off down the road. Sam let him go, not joining him. Sarah pulled up the driveway and Bucky nodded a greeting to her. She waved back, smiling. Once Bucky was past the driveway, he started to run. Once he was more into the woods, he pushed himself harder. He ran and ran and ran but with each step he felt slower, he felt like his body was not what he has been used to for the past 70 years. He tried to push and push himself to go faster, but he felt a wall preventing him from achieving what he used to be able to do. He pushed himself past Sam and his telepathy range, feeling how he should be getting there quickly. 

Screaming with frustration, he made himself fully stop. He skidded on the leaves and dirt until he stood still, panting with his tongue out from exertion. He closed his eyes and worked on steadying his breathing. He took in deep breaths, exhaled slowly, trying to be ‘present in the moment’ when he felt anxiety. He didn’t know if it worked but it was something to focus on other than the overwhelming feelings he was having. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts more and having his breathing even out he opened his eyes. It was then he felt a piercing jab in his right shoulder causing him to stumble to the side and fall over. He looked at his shoulder to see a needle jabbed in and the syringe sticking out. He yanked it out with his teeth and looked to where it had come from. He saw a man in the woods, gun still in hand, grinning. 

He was camouflaged in head-to-toe swamp hunting gear resembling more of Swamp Thing than a person. He recognized this man, it was Rick. He ran at Rick full speed, growling and snarling. Rick’s eyes opened wide with surprise. The dart was to drop the dog, if not kill him. Rick attempted to reload a new dart, pulling one from his belt and placing it into the gun. Bucky reached Rick before he could do that and bit his forearm, preventing Rick from being able to reload. Rick screamed in pain and tried to get Bucky off of his arm. 

With the dart still in hand, he jammed it down into Bucky’s back. The needle snapped off, falling to the forest floor. Surprised, Rick tried to throw Bucky off of him using his foot. He was able to jerk Bucky off his arm and kicked him into a tree with a sickening thud. Taking his gun he used it, club style, and struck Bucky over the head. Bucky, with the tranquilizer and the hit to his head, went unconscious. 

*******

Bucky felt groggy and hazy. He tried to grasp his surroundings but everything felt slow and muddled. He slowly lifted his head and felt a jerk and heard a loud clunk. Blinking his eyes open, he saw a wall made of wood. He tried to jerk his head again and the loud clunk sound was heard again. He looked down and on the floor he saw a chain bolted to the floor. He followed the chain as it went to his neck. Pulling it to the side he felt a collar around his neck, tight but not tight enough to where he couldn’t breath. He tried pulling back and forwards on it, trying to break free from it but it held. He tried to put his teeth around the chain to help pull, only now realizing that his mouth was encased in a wire muzzle. He started struggling in earnest now, he did not do well tied down. His heart started racing and he tried suppressing the memories encroaching on the side of his mind. 

“No use struggling mutt. That contraption has held far worse beasts than the likes of you.” Turning his head to the person speaking, he saw Rick sitting on an old wooden chair on the other end of the building, smoking a cigarette. Why do bad guys always smoke? Bucky thought to himself. Bucky took the time to check in his surroundings. He was in a very run down and dilapidated barn. The color had faded from the wood and looked weather worn. The floor of the barn looked more worn than the rest of the barn. Bucky took a cautious sniff and could smell old blood, other animals, and humans. He looked closely at the floor and saw the pattern of the worn wood in a circle. 

Remote location, creepy barn, worn circle in the wood, blood, putting it all together Bucky came to one conclusion. This was used as a fighting ring. By the smell of things, a dog fighting ring and sometimes human too. Rick flicked his cigarette at Bucky, but Bucky didn’t move. It hit him in the face and fell to the floor, the remains of the tobacco rising into Bucky’s nostrils. Bucky kept his eyes locked on Rick and just growled instead. 

Rick laughed. “Think you’re hot shit? Think you’re tough? You’re just a shitty ass excuse for a dog. Look at you? Not even purebred. Just some hybrid, crippled, monstrosity.” Rick stood up and walked over to Bucky and crouched down to his eye level. “Know what this place is? Smell your fellow bitches?” He asked. “Make a good amount of cash here. People love to pay for violence. Back in high school this was a good way to make a quick buck when my parents thought it best I learned how to earn a paycheck. Don’t think this is what they had in mind though.” 

Rick stood up again and Bucky, still with a low growl, followed him with his eyes. Rick looked down at Bucky for a moment then walked back to his chair. “You are one tough son of a bitch though. Never seen that sedative NOT drop a dog your size instantly.” He reached behind the chair and pulled out a crossbow. He sat in the chair, pulled out an arrow from a quiver and loaded the crossbow. 

Bucky knew what was coming next. He started to pull on the chain, growl louder, shouting in his brain for Sam but knowing their connection wasn’t close enough. He was still hoping. Rick stood up, took his stance, and aimed at Bucky. Bucky was stuck. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t speak, he couldn’t react. All he could do was just wait for what was incoming. Rick pulled the trigger, Bucky heard and saw the arrow coming and felt it embed in his side hearing the arrow connect with his flesh. He contained his cry of pain out of habit and his mind threw him somewhere else.

The soldier stood at the end of a long room. He had on his tactical boots and pants but was not allowed a shirt. He suppressed a shudder in the cold, dank room. He heard the lights humming from above. An archer stood at the other end, and looked to his left. His handler stood next to the archer, holding a notebook.

“Catch the arrow and we can get the hell out of this room. Until then, we will repeat this over and over again until you do.” Without looking up from his notebook, he nodded. The archer raised his bow, pulled it back, and released it. The arrow flew through the air, the soldier heard as it came toward him. He went to grab it but missed. He felt it connect with his side and heard it enter his flesh. He cried out in pain. He soon realized his error. Eyes widening, he looked up to his handler. The handler looked up from his notebook, rolled his eyes, and sighed. He signaled, annoyed, over his shoulder. 

Two Hydra agents came in and walked into the room, straight for the soldier. Grabbing him, they pulled his arms up, locked them into cuffs, and connected him to a chain in the ceiling. They pulled out the arrow and threw it toward the archer for him to pick up. They started punching the soldier in the body, the ribs, and the open arrow wound. The soldier remained quiet. Once they were done, they unhooked him and the soldier stood up without a sound and resumed his place at the end of the room.

“Are we done with the dramatics?” The handler said, looking at the soldier. The soldier knew not to respond. The handler nodded to the archer and the archer drew his bow. 

Bucky snapped back to the present as Rick pulled the arrow from his side. Bucky lunged for Rick, snarling and snapping all he could as the muzzle and chain still held. He felt the chain give and a bolt come loose but it still held. Rick jumped back, an arrow raised high to come down on Bucky but he saw the bolt hold Bucky into place. Rick walked back to his shooting spot. He pulled out a vial and dipped the arrow into it. He put the vial away and pulled back the arrow and bow.  

“Strong little shit. But, your efforts are fruitless.” Rick said. He pulled back the bow and before it even hit Bucky, Bucky fell back into his mind.

“Stay down DOG” a man said in a Russian accent with a kick to the face. The hydra agents were tired of stringing him up and decided to correct his behavior without tying his arms up. Not that the soldier could fight back much if he wanted too. His body was riddled with arrow holes, some new, some healing. Once they were done, he resumed his place at the end of the room. The archer drew back his bow and released. 

The soldier moved his arm and this time he caught it but the arrow had struck in between his arm plates. Pain erupted up his arm and down his shoulder but the soldier remained silent. The arm started to spark and not operate. The handler groaned and motioned over his shoulder again. This time, along with the Hydra agents, came a Hydra scientist. The soldier was ordered on the ground. Unable to get up, he was tied to the floor with chains. The scientist got to work and removed the arrow. Not with care for the soldier but for the arm. Digging around in the arm, the pain receptors causing too much pain, the soldier started screaming.

“Muzzle it! I am sick of it’s screams.” the scientist said. A mask placed over his face. He could not move his mouth, could not scream. After a while, the scientist packed up his tools and left the room, leaving the mask on the soldier. The hydra agents, standing watch leaning against the wall. 

One agent walked over, blowing smoke in his face “You just do what we say you stupid bitch. Be a good dog. Maybe you will get a treat?” The agents started laughing. Kicks, blows, someone spits on him. They removed the chains. “Get up and catch a fucking arrow. Then we can go home and you can go to your cell.” The soldier stood up, shakily. He stood in his spot. The archer drew his bow. The soldier caught the arrow. 

All that surrounded Bucky was a white haze. He heard white noise, loudly and then faintly. He felt anger, fear, he needed to protect himself. Something tried to reach for him in the haze and he tried to attack but he was still chained. Was he chained on the floor? Wall? Ceiling? Someone reached for him again, slowly. 

He heard a voice but couldn’t make out the words. He stilled….and the figure stilled. Slowly the hand came near him and Bucky just waited. He wanted to attack, and felt the strong urge to kill. He held back…something in his mind was trying to tell him to wait. 

The figure removed his mask and then pulled away. Bucky shouted at the figure to leave him alone. He attempted to lunge at the figure but he was still chained. The figure slowly moved toward the chains and Bucky attempted to attack it. The figure froze but then resumed toward the chains. 

The figure snapped the chains off and Bucky ran from the figure to the furthest corner he could find. The figure’s voice started getting louder. The static started getting softer. The figure started coming into focus.

“Sam?” Bucky said. The pain filled where the static and haze were. Bucky lost the battle and fell unconscious. 

He heard snippets.

####################################

“I know Bucky, everything is going to be alright there sweetie,'' said a female voice.

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“So, shepherd and pit bull with some wolf. So protector with the shepherd, attack dog with the pit bull, and feral with the wolf. Fits him rather perfectly.” said a male voice.

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“In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hold, and that means comfort.” said a male voice.

####################################

“You will be fine, Bucky. You are strong.” said a child’s voice.

####################################

“So you said he is losing his strength, healing, speed, everything.” another male voice said.

####################################

He didn’t know where he was but he  felt warm, he felt safe. Nightmares or pain could not reach him here. He didn’t want to leave. But something in him told him he had to head back and slowly, Bucky woke up. 

Chapter Text

Chapter 13

The first thing Bucky felt was warm and soft. The next thing he felt was pain and shortly after pain he felt thirst. He opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was Sam, sitting in the chair at his computer. His elbow was on the desk and his head was resting in his hand and had the Hobbit book in his other hand. He saw Sam was asleep, snoring softly. Bucky looked around the room and saw it was dark, except for the soft light from Sam’s desk lamp. Next to the lamp was a Sam Wilson Falcon action figure. Bucky didn’t remember the action figure being there before. It looked like one of the boys action figures they play with often.

The sound machine was not giving off the standard static noise, but instead the sound of a babbling brook. Bucky saw he was in Sam’s bed, under his comforter and Bucky felt both love that Sam gave up his bed and ensured he was warm, but also guilt that Sam gave up his bed and was NOT warm. 

Quietly getting up, he inwardly winced at the stiffness and pain. He didn’t think or express this pain, he wanted Sam to sleep. He quietly jumped down from the bed and almost fell forward as the pain exploded further. He checked on Sam but the movement didn’t wake him. Breathing shallowly, he walked to the bedroom door. He nudged it open with his nose and walked out of the bedroom. He got to the first step and steeled himself. He just needed to get down to the kitchen and get some water. Taking deep breaths, he hopped down the first step and gritted his teeth at the explosion of pain again. He dragged in breaths. He should have been well past this point in healing. This was…standard person healing.

He made it down one more step when he heard Sam come out of the bedroom.

“Hey Bucky.” He said softly. “Glad to see you are up and about. Need some help there?”

“I got this Sam.” Bucky grunted, hopping his back legs down a step so he could sit on the step horizontally. Slightly winded, he decided to take a break. Two stairs apparently is a lot. Sam sat at the top of the stairs and rested his wrists on his knees.

“Welp, if you need any, I am right here.” He said.

Bucky and Sam sat like that for a bit while Bucky steeled his strength. Sam meanwhile started looking around the stairwell at the pictures that lined the walls. Bucky looked at the rest of the stairs that he had left to go. Sam, his head still pointed toward a picture of his parent’s wedding day, moved his eyes down toward Bucky, hoping that he feels fine with just asking for a little help down the stairs. 

“Sam?” Bucky asked.

“Yeah?” Sam responded.

“Lend me a hand here, will ya?” Bucky asked.

Sam, feeling elated, said “Sure man. Want to sort of lean against me as I scoot on down with you? I can put my arm around your stomach for stability. Does that work?” Sam wanted to explain it all out first so Bucky knew what was coming.

Bucky thought about it and said “Sure.”

Sam scooted down to the step Bucky was on. Bucky leaned against Sam and Sam slowly placed his arm around Bucky’s stomach to give him some extra stability. This way, Bucky was still in control of going down but, in case he falls, Sam was there to catch him. Together, they made it down the steps and into the kitchen. Keeping quiet as Sarah was still sleeping, Sam got a mug of water and sat it on the step stool. This way Bucky would not have to jump on the kitchen chair. Bucky drank the water quickly. 

Sam, noting the time was 5am, turned on the coffee pot and started some coffee. He grabbed some cereal from the pantry and a banana from the counter. 

“Feel like eating anything? A banana should be fine, I think.” Sam asked Bucky, showing him a banana. Bucky stopped drinking and nodded. Sam cut him some slices, laid it on a plate and sat it down. Bucky ate the bananas quickly. Sam finished pouring his cereal and grabbed the milk. He poured it into the bowl.

“Want some milk?” Sam asked.

Bucky froze and Sam saw the flashback that ran through Bucky’s head. It was Pierce standing in front of a fridge.

“Want some milk?” he asked Bucky. Not bothering to wait for an answer, he went into the fridge and poured himself a glass. Pierce knew Bucky could not express his wants or desires. If Bucky wanted or didn’t want a glass of milk it didn’t matter. All that mattered was if Pierce wanted to give him the glass. Sam felt Bucky’s feelings from that moment. They were subdued, but the fear and want for milk. Sam grabbed another mug, took the water mug away, and poured the milk into it.

“Just in case you decide to want it. If you don't, it's fine.” Sam said. Bucky looked at the mug and after a brief pause, drank the milk. 

Sam sat at the table with his coffee and cereal and texted Bruce. Finishing the bowl, he put it in the sink, along with Bucky’s dishes and motioned for them to head outside to the porch so they could talk without hushed tones. 

“So, I have a few things to catch you up on.” Sam said, sitting on the porch with his legs hanging off the edge.  “First, what do you remember?” 

“You pal Rick the Dick is a dick,” Bucky said, sitting next to Sam. “He shot me with a tranq dart. Didn’t take effect immediately and I went to attack him but, like I told you earlier that day, my speed, my strength, is fading. After that, it gets really hazy. Guessing the healing is also, considering this should have all healed by now.” Bucky looked at his side, noticing the shaved hair and stitches for the first time. “Sam, what happened to my hair?”

Chuckling, Sam filled Bucky in on his side of things. Omitting the part about the visions he is getting from Bucky. After Bucky took a second to digest everything, he turned to Sam and said, “Thank you. For…coming for me. Looking for me.”

“Of course, man.” Sam said.

“But….how did you know where I was?” Bucky asked.

Sam took a deep breath. “Ok, so about that. This started about when we first got here to Louisiana. They are like….I think of flashbacks that you are having. From your time as the Winter Soldier. Triggers from something that is said or felt. I am guessing this is rather common for you. And, while they are supposed to be private just to you, because of our link that Strange setup I am guessing, they flash into my brain. They were kinda hazy at first, just flashes. But…lately they have started becoming full on, like, scenes. The reason I knew you were in trouble was because I was getting flashes of you being hurt by Hydra agents. I felt your pain, your fear. It was so intense I fell to the ground right over there and passed out. '' Sam said, pointing to the spot on the grass where not too long ago he went unconscious from the flashbacks. He looked over at Bucky and saw Bucky was staring intently at the ground, not moving. He continued on. “I came to, grabbed the wings, and did a one man search pattern for you. Once our thoughts got into range, I was able to find you, and I busted Rick up. You were…you were pretty out of it. Chained up, muzzled up. I am sure that brought back some pretty poor memories.” Sam paused and looked at Bucky, taking stock of him with everything he said..

Bucky didn’t move, he barely breathed. After a bit of time, Sam continued. “I released the muzzle, the chain. In my head, I didn’t even hear you. Just static, like white noise. Eventually I was able to connect with you. You said ‘Sam’ and then you passed out.”

Bucky remained quiet after Sam had finished. Quietly, he asked “How many flashbacks have you seen?”

“It started when I asked if I could just hose you down when you first got here and Sarah said you had to clean up. Back when she thought you were just some stray dog. Brief flashes of some agents and a hose. Then it was when we got back after Rick suggested a collar and leash. The flashes got intense when he held you captive and I am guessing you just dissociated entirely. I didn’t get a full flashback, just images again but more intense. The latest one….was when I asked if you wanted some milk and I saw Pierce. That was more in full.” Sam said, wanting to be entirely truthful with Bucky.

“Damnit.” Bucky said. “I am sorry Sam. You shouldn’t have to deal with that.” 

“Correction, you shouldn’t have to deal with that. But it seems we are currently. I don’t want you to feel ashamed or guilty. I volunteered for this willingly knowing there could be side effects we weren’t aware of. I am just here for you man, the worst and best of it all.” Sam said. Sam raised his hand slowly and ensured it was in Bucky’s peripheral. He moved it to Bucky’s back and gently laid his hand on Bucky’s back. Watching Bucky intently, he saw Bucky didn’t tense, didn’t flinch, didn’t shy away. Sam released the breath he didn’t know he was holding. He didn’t pet Bucky, but gave a friendly pat and placed his hand back to his side. 

“So, who gave me the new hair cut?” Bucky asked.

Sam chuckled again. “Local Veterinarian. Althea. Really sweet, really passionate and a little scary. She, thinking you were a dog, patched you up nicely. By the way. Got a professional opinion on your breeds. She is thinking maybe pit bull, german shepherds and…wait for it….wolf.”

Bucky let out an audible bark in the way of a laugh. “You’re joking?”

Sam laughed along with him. “Honest to God that is what she said. But she did a really good job, haircut aside.”

“If I get turned back into a human….this shaved parts better not show up on my head.” Bucky said.

“When.” Sam corrected. “Bruce and Peter are getting close to the DogGoneIt Ray.” 

Bucky groaned at the name but Sam continued on. 

“Bruce stopped by last night, gave me an update. He updated the brain scans while you were out of it. The static is…concerning. Not sure if it’s Strange’s spell or if something else is going on. He had the Quinjet parked out in some field and asked, once you woke up, to text him and he would come right over.” Sam said, checking his phone. He saw he had missed a text from Bruce saying he was on his way immediately after Sam had texted him. “He should be here any minute now.”

“Where are the boys?” Bucky asked.

“Friends house. Thought it was best. They came by when you were out.” Sam said, putting his phone back into his pocket. Looking down the driveway, they both saw Bruce walking up. Bruce waved from the end of the driveway and trotted up the rest of the way. 

“Good to see you up and about Bucky. How are you feeling?” Bruce asked.

Bucky stood up and nodded to Bruce as a way of greeting. “ Tell him I am doing fine and thanks for his concern.”

“He says he is fine and thanks for your concern.” Sam repeated to Bruce. 

“ Tell him I would like to know what his scans showed.” Bucky said to Sam.

“Bucky is asking if you were able to review those scans?” Sam translated for Bucky.

“Yes. Right to it then.” Bruce pulled his backpack off and pulled out the StarkPad. He turned on the pad and a visual graphic of a brain appeared. 

“This is the scan of your brain when you were at the Avengers complex.” Bruce pointed to the brain graphic. He pushed a button and 5% highlighted in red. “The red indicates the ‘dog brain’ for a lack of a better term. Basically a dog persona of sniffing, circling when lying down, etc. Have you experienced anything like that?”

Bucky didn’t answer. Bruce looked to Sam but Sam remained stoic. If Bucky wasn’t going to answer, he wasn’t going to answer for him. Eventually Bucky responded “ Something like that.” Sam repeated what Bucky said for Bruce.

“I figured as much and that aligns with this…” Bruce tapped the StarkPad again and more of Bucky’s brain lit up, about 20% red. “This is your brain last night. As you can see, it’s becoming more and more red. Sam said he heard static from your connection when we talked last night.”

Bucky looked from the StarkPad to Sam questioninly.

“When I found you at the barn, you were….not exactly you.” Sam said.

“ The soldier ?” Bucky asked, getting worried. What if the dog thinking removed what Shuri and the Wakandians did? Would he go back to having the trigger words?

“No.” Sam said quickly. “Not the soldier. You were more….feral.” 

Bucky looked back at the StarkPad and didn’t say anything. Bruce took this as his que to continue on.

“I called Dr. Strange and he said that wouldn’t have anything to do with the link. In fact, it just showed the link was actually working. The static was parts of the dog brain overlapping with the human brain. Basically, what Sam heard was what dogs think in the best way humans can interpret it. Static. They don’t have language that translates to humans. Science is ‘iffy’ if they have emotions or not, but, if you felt emotions with the static Sam, that was the dog side of things that had taken over.”

Taking a breath he closed the StarkPad’s screen and continued. “Meaning, basically, at the rate it is going soon your entire brain will be taken over by a dog brain rather than yours.” Bruce paused and looked at Bucky who was still intently looking at the StarkPad. “Bucky, to put it plainly, by this time in two weeks, you will lose yourself entirely. The dog side will take over. I am not sure if we can reverse it. What has been holding it off lately is your healing factor which, as you can tell, is not where it should be. As time goes on, you will lose that entirely, the super strength, speed everything.”

Bucky couldn’t breathe. So many emotions were going through him at once. Fear, anger, shock, disbelief, grief, and, surprisingly, a little relief. An answer to his situation but not an answer he wanted. He felt a hand on his back and knew it was Sam. It grounded him and he was able to start breathing again.

“ I…uh….I need a moment Sam.” With that, he slowly jumped down the couple of porch steps and limped down the driveway.

Sam and Bruce watched him and saw him stop by the edge of the driveway and sat down, looking into the woods. The sun started to rise, giving the yard some light. Bruce put the StarkPad back into his bag. 

“I am going to make some tea.” Bruce said.

“Sounds good man, need any help?” Sam asked.

“I can find my way around the kitchen.” Bruce responded.

Sam sat back down on the porch and watched Bucky. Ready for when he was ready to talk.

Bruce went inside and started boiling the water on the stove in a pot and grabbed out a teacup and saucer from a cabinet. He pulled some tea from his bag and let it steep. After waiting for a few minutes, he removed the tea bag and blew into the mug. 

He heard Sarah coming down the stairs. Still sleepy-eyed, she yawned and shuffled into the kitchen, her slippers making the ‘ shuck shuck shuck ’ sound. She rubbed her eyes and stopped in her tracks and looked at him.

“Ah, good morning! You must be Sarah. I am Bruce! I made some tea. Would you care for a cup? It’s my special blend” he said, tipping the tea cup in her direction.

From outside on the porch, Sam heard Sarah shouting his name and his eyes went wide. He realized he forgot to tell Sarah about Bruce.

Chapter Text

Chapter 14

“You can invite people over here, that’s fine, but if a stranger is going to be in my kitchen before sunrise, it’s normal etiquette to LET OTHER PEOPLE IN THE HOUSE KNOW!” Sarah said, having pulled Sam into the living room.

“Yes, sorry, yes you’re right. I am sorry.” Sam said, feeling pretty guilty. He keeps bringing over previously dangerous people so that also might cause Sarah some…concerns. Sarah went back upstairs, got dressed and sat with Bruce for a quick morning chat. Sam looked out the window and saw Bucky still where he was. He pulled out his phone and dialed Shuri.

The line rang and then he heard the Wakandian princess pick up.

“Captain America! What do I owe the pleasure? Everything ok with your suit?” She asked, cheerfully.

Sam smiled, he always enjoys speaking with her. She always has such a confident and amazing personality. “Hey, the suit is perfect. Course it was made by you so that goes without saying.” Sam said.

“But of course.” Shuri responded.

Sam took a quick breath, and moved more toward the living room, away from the window. “Hey, so, we have a situation.”

“End of the world, extra support, need a good cupcake recipe?” Shuri asked.

“Uhm….sort of extra support.” Sam said, hesitantly. He fills Shuri in on all the details of the past weeks. The Hydra base, the Dog Ray, Bucky’s brain converting to more dog than human. How Bruce and Peter were stuck on reversing the process and Bucky may be lost to them. 

“Bucky is really against me calling you and he would probably have my head if he knew.” Sam said, once he caught her up on everything.

“James’ actions were very…disappointing to my people, Sam. Zemo is an unforgivable enemy. James freed him, only as a means to an end, but worked with our enemy nevertheless. He let Zemo take advantage of him; to return him to the Winter Soldier persona he worked so hard to move past. James may have not had any other choice, but it was still the choice he made.” Shuri said.

“Look, I know he...” Sam started to defend Bucky but Shuri interrupted him.

“I am not finished, Sam. He freed Zemo, fought the Dora Milage…pissed off Ayo. Ayo is always angry. The anger she has now…there is this soldier here in Wakanda called Agwang. His name means Wolf. She is so mean to poor Agwang. Really mean. She is very, very angry.” 

Sam listened but kept feeling it was a mistake calling the Wakandians. “I wouldn't have called if there was any other way.” Sam started to say. Maybe he shouldn’t have called.

Shuri interrupted his doubt. “I have my bag already packed and am already on the plane heading to New York now. I am on my way.”  

“Thank you Shuri.” Sam felt relieved at the extra help from her.

“Don’t thank me just yet, Ayo is coming with me.” With that, Shuri disconnected the phone.

Sam looked at the phone and saw ‘Call Ended.’ Sighing, he gave a slight grimace at the thought of Ayo and Bucky’s meeting. He pocketed the phone and went into the kitchen. Bruce was pouring Sarah another cup of tea and was talking about Brazil.

“So wait, you were working in a soda factory, and you cut your hand, and some of your ‘irradiated blood’ gets into the soda.”

“Luminescent Green Soda….funny enough….yeah.” Bruce said, sipping his tea.

“And an old old guy drank it.” Sarah said over her steaming tea cup.

“Shield tracked him down. I mean, this old guy….he either has a twin or really really resembles his family or something cause I swear all the Avengers have seen him. Everywhere. He was interviewed by a reporter in Manhattan when we first fought together. He was a fedex man delivering a package to Tony. He was a bartender with Scott Lang. This guy is everywhere.” Bruce said, chuckling. “The Racoon swears he saw him on some planet chatting with some girls.”

“Well, was he ok? After drinking…you know…” She nods to his body.

“Yeah, he was totally fine. My “irradiated blood” isn’t an infectious disease….that is just crazy.” Bruce said, rolling his eyes.

“Hey,” Sam said interrupting. “Shuri is heading to New York now. She is going to help out with the DogGoneIt Ray.”

“The what…” Sarah said, eyebrows raised at Bruce.

Bruce looked chagrined and shrugged in response.

“Ok, I will head back right now.” Bruce said, packing up. “I am hoping we can get this all behind us soon. Sarah, it was a pleasure meeting you. If you ever find yourself in New York, please drop me a line. I can show you some really great tea houses I have found.” He bowed his head slightly to Sarah and nodded to Sam. He swung his bag over his shoulder and headed out the door. 

“Head’s up, Ayo is going to be there.” Sam said to Bruce.

Bruce paused and turned back to Sam. “Scary lady, pointy spear?” 

“Yep.” Sam said, nodding. Bruce, gave an ‘eek’ face and then headed out the door. 

Sam watched him walk down the driveway and attempted to say bye to Bucky. Bucky only slightly turned his head to Bruce’s direction. Bruce, understanding, walked back down the driveway to head back to New York.

Sam walked over to Bucky and sat on the grass next to him.

“Lot to take in, huh?” Sam said.

Bucky said nothing.

Sam gave him a few moments. Then said “Bruce headed back to New York. They are going to get this figured out, Bucky. Just need to stay positive.” 

Bucky’s ear twitched and eventually he said “Shortly after I pulled…after I pulled Steve from the river, I was confused. So very, very confused. I knew I had to protect that crazy blonde idiot who refused to fight me… no matter how much I pummeled him. I knew someone would come get him but I had to disappear. I failed too much on my mission, I thought…too much. Hydra would not accept me back and I did not….want….to go back. I did not…want….to forget. Now, I am going to forget. So everything I did was just…useless.” Bucky said.

“No,” Sam said forcefully. “Not useless. Cause we are not going to let this happen Bucky, ok?”

Bucky took in a shuddering breath. “They took everything from me, Sam. Now, they are going to take it again. And before you go classic Captain America ‘we can do this’ with your human opposable thumbs up, you have to promise me this. IF Bruce and Peter fail…I don’t want to live my life as a mindless dog. I can’t go back to that again.” Bucky looked at Sam and looked at him directly in the eyes. Sam was slightly taken aback by the intense stare but held Bucky’s gaze in return. “You have to end it Sam. I will not go through the rest of my life like that and I won’t have the ability to control anything.”

“Bucky…” Sam started to say. 

“I mean it. I want to die while I am me. Not as…I will not go back to being some mindless animal only responding to orders.” Bucky continued to stare at Sam. Sam saw flashes from Bucky’s memory.

“Soldat, kill him.” A man told the Winter Soldier as they stood over a sniffling, old man. Without hesitation, the Soldier pulled out his gun and executed the man before the man could even beg for his life.

 “Soldat, wait here until we come back.” Men laughing, stumbling into a bar. The Soldier waited in the alley, rain and sleet pouring, unable to suppress his shivering.

“Ok, that is the 30th run and the Soldier is showing strong advancement in his time completion.” A scientist said, looking at his clipboard. A commander nodded, hearing the scientist's words. He pulled out his gun and shot the Soldier in the leg. “Soldat, run it again. Beat your previous time.”  

Sam attempted to blink away the visions. He opened his mouth to respond but was interrupted by a car coming down the driveway. The boys were returning from their sleepover. Sam turned and looked over his shoulder. The boys jumped out of the car before it came to a stop and started running over. 

“BUCKY!” the boys shouted as they ran over. Sam put up a hand and stood up to stop the boys from slamming Bucky with hugs. 

“Hold up boys!” Sam said and the boys skidded to a stop. Sam looked at Bucky who was still giving him a pointed stare, awaiting his answer. Sam looked directly back into Bucky’s cerulean eyes, held his breath, and nodded.

Chapter Text

Bucky had gone back to being quiet, reserved, but minus the glaring stare for the next few days. He mainly would sit on the porch, staring into the woods. On the docks, staring into the water. He barely said a word to Sam, and lacked his usual enthusiasm to meet the boys at the bus stop. Sam could hear Bucky whimpering at night and, once Bucky woke from the nightmares, he could hear him go to the shower. Sam would wake from these same nightmares, breathing erratically and sweat clinging to his body. He put the heels of his hands up to his eyes. They weren’t his nightmares, they were Bucky’s but the feeling from them started to flow to Sam. 

The next morning after a particularly horrible nightmare, Sam heard the door open and shut. Sam looked out the window and saw Bucky walking up the driveway and into the woods. Sam ran down the stairs and ran after him. 

“Bucky! Hey man….Buck! Where you goin’?” Sam said running to Bucky. The gravel bit into his bare feet and he hopped, limped, and quietly cussed as he got in front of Bucky stopping him. 

“I am heading back to New York. No need for you or your family to deal with this Sam.” Bucky said, head hung low and not looking at Sam. 

“You gunna walk to New York?” Sam asked. “It’s like…6am…. And it's far”

Bucky moved to go past Sam but Sam stopped him again. Bucky moved the other way but Sam blocked him again. 

“I can and will bite you.” Bucky said.

“Look, how about this for an idea.” Sam said, kneeling down so he was eye level with Bucky. The dirt and stone bit into his knee but he ignored it. “Let’s get in the truck. We will drive back to New York City. Take in some sites along the way. Have you seen this country from a road trip?” Sam asked, eyebrows raised and putting some excitement into his voice.

“I was kept in a coffin style storage box container that would force me to stand during transports throughout the US in between assassinations. No windows.” Bucky said flatly.

Sam paused. “God, sometimes I don't know if you are joking or if that really happened but I can believe both.” 

Shaking his head he continued, “I will grab a tent. We camp along the way. Once we get to New York City, Bruce and.. team.. will more than likely have this resolved! If not sooner. Sound good?” 

Bucky thought about Sam’s offer. He never did a road trip. 

“How many days?” Bucky asked starting to consider the idea

“3 days or so. Make our way to the Carolinas, hit up a beach. Go to Baltimore, check out a baseball game, we are still in the season. Then onto New York. BUT we have to stop in Philadelphia.” Sam said, stressing the part about Philadelphia.

“Why?” Bucky asked.

“Steak and cheese subs man. They are life.” Sam said smiling.

“They have those everywhere.” Bucky said, rolling his eyes.

Sam laughed. “They have knock offs.” 

Bucky gave it some more thought. If he was to die soon, might as well spend it….like this. Instead of alone on the road. He did not want to burden Sam however. It’s bad enough he was sacked so far with this much of himself. 

“Sam, look….” Bucky said, taking a breath to let Sam down easy.

“Good, it's settled.” Sam said, standing up and starting to head back into the house. He walked more on the grass than the driveway. “I will tell Bruce we are heading that way.” Sam gestured with his hand for Bucky to head on back into the house. Bucky, gave a slight huff, turned, and went with Sam. He didn’t have the energy to argue.

The boys woke up and wanted to go on the road trip but Sarah told them to get to school. Once the boys were on the bus, Sarah packed Bucky and Sam some snacks and a cooler.

“Be sure to clean this out when you are done. I don’t want it coming back with mold… that grows a conscience… and becomes sentient. Anything is possible these damn days.” Sarah mumbled about aliens and mutants while packing cheese, sandwiches, water, and a coffee thermos. “This,” Sarah said to Bucky sternly, “is a vegetable.” She held up a carrot, shaking it near his nose. Bucky stared at it as she waved it in front of his nose. “It came from our garden in the back. You are supposed to eat it. Not pack it into some can like they were so fond of in your day. Eat it. If I hear that you haven’t eaten anything fresh when you get done turning back into yourself, I will find you. I will hurt you.” She then switched on a sweet smile, tossed the carrot into the bag, waved, and turned back to the house. 

“Be safe!” She shouted over her shoulder.

Bucky and Sam watched her go slightly dumbstruck.

“Ya know,” Sam said “I honestly think that if she were to go up against the baddies we encounter, she would just scare them out of any doomsday ideas they have.”

“Yep.” Bucky said, popping the ‘p’ at the end.

They got into the truck and headed down the dirt driveway onto the main road. Sam connected his phone to the truck’s radio and Glenn Miller Orchestra ‘In the Mood’ started playing. Bucky, who was looking out the window, slowly smiled and looked at Sam. Sam was flooded with images of girls from the 30s dancing. Steve on talking to some dame (the word popped into Sam’s head and he knew it was from Bucky’s memory) and handing her a drink. Steve was a teen it seemed. Smaller, just like the pictures from the museum and history books. Far different than the Avenger he became. The girl politely took the drink but kept looking at the dance floor. Sam followed the girls' look and saw a younger Bucky was dancing. Sam knew the moves although he never danced that kind of style before. He felt the sway and the gliding and the joy.

Sam blinked and the memory was gone. He was back in the truck, driving down the road.

Bucky looked back out the window, closed his eyes, and just enjoyed the memory and moment.

*****

They drove for hours, straight to South Carolina. They filled the time with comfortable silence, music from Sam’s 1930s and 1940s playlist, with a few modern songs thrown in. With the Hobbit audible or shared stories from their past.

Sam told Bucky how he used to lay down in the middle of the field to pretend he was dead. Just so a buzzard could swoop low enough for him to catch one.

“What would you do if you actually caught one?” Bucky asked, laughing at the absurdity of the idea.

“I dunno, make it into a pet? I was 7!” Sam said.

Bucky told Sam how he found a cat in an alley with Steve and his sister, Rebecca. 

“We would feed the cat fish I would get when I could get work at the fish market. We took it into my parent’s apartment thinking we were saving the cat.Turned out the cat was hustling and had 2 other families all thinking he was a stray. He belonged to an old lady on the 1st floor of the building and was fed just fine.” 

Sam chuckled at the thought of a hustling feline.

“Ever touch a crocodile by the tail and run?” Sam asked Bucky, after a brief silence.

“Oh yeah. Plenty of times. In the sewers of New York City.” Bucky said, sarcastically.

“I was on the track team and one of the ‘hazing’ things we did was have a kid touch the tail of a crocodile and run.” Sam said.

“So, how many kids lost their limbs?” Bucky asked.

“None. Most of them didn’t do it. One dumb kid did though.” Sam said. “Croc took a bite outta his shirt tail and he had to hide the evidence from his mom.”

“Oh, did he now? Did this kid’s mom find out?” Bucky asked.

“....yes…..” Sam said.

They talked about food differences from the 1920s to now.

“No, I swear there was a candy called “Squirrel Nut Zippers.” Bucky said to Sam. “It was this peanut, caramel candy thing they sold at the local store.”

“Let me guess, you would swipe these?” Sam said.

“No, I would work at the docks to bring in some extra cash. I wouldn’t tell my parents but would spend some on candy and Steve and I would eat them in secret.” Bucky said.

“Why sneak eating them?” Sam asked. 

“Money was needed for necessities, not niceties.” Bucky said as if he was repeating some mantra. Sam felt Bucky’s mood shifting. He trailed off and Sam saw images of a Bucky, younger than the one dancing he saw earlier, closer to maybe middle school age working on the docks for long hours. Working alongside other children, grown men, old men.  Honestly, he didn't look much older than Cass. He saw Bucky and Steve running through an alleyway and hungirly eating the treat. 

“How old were you?” Sam asked slowly, keeping his eyes on the road but occasionally looking sideways at Bucky. Bucky didn’t respond at first. 

“It was another time. It was the depression. Sacrifices were made to ensure we would survive.” Bucky’s good shoulder gave a shrug. “I didn’t want Becca to leave school or try to find work in one of the factories. You heard bad stories from those places. I dropped out of school to work the docks, sometimes got a shift at the fish market, meat factory, and as a messenger boy. Stevie would catch me up on school things where he could. If he was too sick to go, Becca would bring his schoolwork home for him and would look out for him in case some of the other kids would push him around.” 

Sam wanted to ask. He really wanted to ask if Bucky even finished school. Bucky was intelligent, no way around that. But did he even have the opportunity to complete his schooling? Before Sam could get the nerve to ask, the GPS chimed “Destination on the right” and he dropped the matter for another time. They made it to the beach, just as the sun went from blindly bright to hues of fiery orange, soft pink and purple. Sam rolled down the windows and drove to the secluded camping spot. They smelled the briny sea salt on the breeze and heard the waves crashing rhythmically on the shore. Sam turned off the truck and they jumped down to the sand. The day had been hot and the heat was still in the sand. It felt more comforting than uncomfortable.

Sam sat closer to the waves and Bucky sat next to him. They took a breath and, for the second time that day, Bucky truly enjoyed the moment.

Chapter Text

“I am NOT wearing that.” Bucky said to Sam. Sam was holding a dog style bright red vest that said “Service Dog.” After a relaxing, nightmare free night on the beach they headed straight for Baltimore, Maryland. The game was to start in a few hours and, considering pets were not allowed in the stadium, Sam had the brilliant idea of saying Bucky was a service dog.

“What? Not cute enough? Or is it because it has an actual bright color as opposed to your muted color style.” Sam said, shaking the vest slightly up and down. 

“No one is going to believe that you are blind Sam. You are a terrible liar. We have established that.” Bucky said backing away from the offending vest.

“Service dogs are not just for the blind. They are used for people with anxiety, kids on the autism spectrum, seizures, help people with mobility disabilities and..ya know…PTSD.” Sam said, saying PTSD quieter than the rest. 

“So what are you telling people that you have seizures?” Bucky said, not believing such a thing exists.

“PTSD.” Sam said, flatly. “Cause it’s true. Not to the point where I need a service dog but more than likely no one will ask why there is a service dog.” Sam said. “Look, do you want to see a baseball game or not.”

Bucky huffed but nodded. Sam slipped the vest over Bucky. 

“Aww don’t you look so ADORABLE!” Sam said, adding an extra ‘flowery’ accent to his tone.  

Bucky bared his teeth and growled. 

Sam smiled and threw an Orioles hat on top of his head. “Be nice, it's the Orioles versus the Yankees. That was your team right?” 

“The Yankees were the ONLY team worth watching Sam.” Bucky said, the growling and snarl dropping instantly, not noticing his tail wagging with excitement.

They walked toward the entry gates, passing families, friends, all excited for the upcoming game. After waiting in line, the ticket girl smiled at Sam as he extended his phone with the tickets on it to her. He smiled back at her. 

“What a cutie!” She said, motioning to Bucky and leaning over the counter. “What’s this pupper’s name?”

“Bucky.” Sam said. “But sorry, no pets. He is a service dog.”

“I completely understand. My little cousin has one and the dog helps him out so much. Enjoy your game, hon alright?” She waved them past.

“That was rude, Sam.” Bucky said.

“No, you’re not supposed to pet a service dog. It’s a rule. Service dogs are working dogs that really shouldn't be petted or distracted.” Sam said seriously. After they walked for a bit to their seats he added “I mean there are exceptions but we were not having a barista fawning session again.”

“Now THAT was rude.” Bucky said. “Where the hell are these seats, Sam?”

Sam smiled and then turned a corner. Light of the afternoon sun hit their faces and the first thing Bucky experienced was the smell of the grass and dirt. They were so close to the field Bucky could almost touch it. “Oh my god Sam! This must have been a fortune!”

“Naw, I pulled some strings.” Sam said, not letting on it indeed cost a fortune but was worth it. 

“I have never been this close. Mostly we would watch from binoculars at the stadium in NY when we were kids. This…THIS is how you experience a game!”

They sat in their seats, Sam having even purchased a seat for Bucky, and settled in to watch the game. Seated neighbors awed over Bucky and would comment: “It’s like he is REALLY watching the game!” 

Or 

“I bet he would want to play with that baseball out there, dontcha sweetie!” 

Or

“Put him in, maybe the Orioles will do a better job catching those fly balls than what they are doing now.” 

Or, occasionally, “Ain't you that Captain America guy?” 

Sam got them beers and hot dogs. They sat, ate, and drank. By the 5th inning, however, Sam was starting to feel drowsy with boredom. Maybe it was the warm weather, the lack of consistent action, or it’s just a game between two guys (the pitcher and the batter) with some extra buddies thrown in. Bucky meanwhile seemed riveted, sometimes forgetting he cannot talk to anyone except Sam. 

“See that play!” Bucky would say to the woman next to him. “THAT is why I love baseball.”

To the field he would shout “Come on, umpire! Are you blind? Do you need a service dog!?”

Sam was entertained by Bucky’s enthusiasm but bored out of his mind with the game. 

“Did your Dad ever take you to a ball game?” Bucky asked Sam.

Sam glanced around, saw no one was paying them any attention and they were free to talk without someone thinking he lost his mind.

“Football was more my dad’s game. He liked baseball as a kid but moved over to football. Most people’s game of choice these days is football. The Saints were his favorite team. Course, because they were local but also they are pretty awesome.” Sam said. “You ask him why the switch and he would say football was just more exciting. You ask me, it came down to attention spans. This,” Sam said gesturing to the baseball field “is…long.” 

Bucky shook his head. “You’re missing the point. You watch football and you're on that buzz of the game. This,” Bucky said gesturing to the field “gives you far more. A slow buzz.” 

“Suppose so.” Sam said, chuckling. And they went back to watching the game and Sam tried to catch that slow buzz Bucky was talking about. But all he wanted to do was check his phone to see how Ayo and Shuri were getting on. Instead he watched Bucky again enjoying the game.

****

It happened so slowly, Sam didn’t notice the transition at first. He thought he was hearing the roar of the crowd but as the excitement of the latest crack of the bat died down, the noise persisted. Sam looked over to Bucky and saw him, once riveted into the game, now sniffing at the ground and licking up peanut shells. 

“Bucky?” Sam said slowly, trying to not cause attention and not knowing how Bucky would react. Last time this happened he acted feral, but in his defense he was being tortured at the time. Bucky did not respond to Sam. “Bucky?” Sam tried again. He still only heard the static sound that has become the noise of Bucky’s deteriorating mentality. Sam tapped the baseball stadium seat next to him, holding a piece of hotdog over the seat encouraging Bucky to jump up. Bucky reacted to that. 

Bucky jumped up, and gave his intense stare to the hot dog. Sam gave a slight chuckle at the comparison of his typical death glare to ward people off  to his dog’s glare for a hot dog. Sam gave the hot dog to Bucky who tentatively took it, slowly. Bucky’s eyes shifted from the hot dog to Sam and stared directly at Sam, as if he didn’t trust him well enough to take away the food or dispense some form of violence. Sam just gave off as many encouraging vibes he could, murmuring “that's it, there we go. It’s alright.” quietly like a mantra. Bucky took the hot dog, jumped down and went under the seats to eat it. As soon as it was gone, he poked his head out for more. Sam was relieved. He remembered Althea said to keep it up, soon he would trust him. And Sam started to wonder if that was indeed what was happening. 

Sam flagged the concession kid for 4 more hot dogs (almost half his pay check later, why are they so expensive!?) and picked up to leave. He needed Bucky back in the truck in case things went sideways. Bucky followed the hot dogs and Sam back to the truck where he sat in the passenger seat. Sighing, Sam sat in the driver seat hand over his face, knowing they needed to get to New York now. Sam held the last hot dog in his hand and Bucky, feeling embolden, ate the last one and slunked down to the floorboards to eat it..

Sitting with the truck idling, Sam tried to make a decision. Should he head straight to New York? Should he head to Pennsylvania to continue their road trip? Last time this static didn’t last long but then again, Bucky went unconscious shortly after coming too. Sam wished he had a clear sign for what to do. Why did life have to present such options? Why couldn’t life just be like here, this is the best path. Turn right and your destination is on the left. Sighing he knew why. And he knew whatever decision he makes will be the decision that needs to be made. He just had to make the decision.

He pulled out of the parking lot and input his destination into his GPS. 

Chapter Text

Sometime in the trip to their destination, Bucky came back to himself. Sam heard the static dissipate and saw Bucky jump back up to the passenger seat. After a brief pause Bucky said to Sam “It happened again didn’t it.”

“Yep,” said Sam. “Did you feel it happening or…?”

“No. One moment we are at the game and next, I am on the floorboard of your truck. Did you?” Bucky asked.

“Not at first, the roar of the crowd drowned it out a bit but I eventually felt you shift.” Sam said. “Lured you in here with hot dogs. You really liked the hot dogs.”

“Well, who doesn’t, Sam?” Bucky said. Looking out the window and at the GPS he asked “Where are we?”

Sam didn’t immediately answer. What is the best way to explain to your friend that is losing their faculties that you decided to head to New York cause he may turn and harm himself or someone innocent and that you don’t ‘trust’ his brain to not do that. Sighing, Sam responded.

“New York.”

Bucky nodded slowly. Processing they have bypassed Philadelphia on their road trip journey. Knowing how he acted in the past under the Dog State and how he has attacked Sam already. “Good call Sam.”

Surprisingly, this angered Sam. “No!” he almost shouted. “It’s not a ‘good call, Sam’!” Gripping the wheel tight, he tried taking deep breaths. “We should be chowing down on subs but no, we are chilling on the road on the way to Avengers Tower.” 

Shifting angrily in his seat, he switched hands, as if that would help with adjusting his mood. He should not be yelling at Bucky. This wasn’t Bucky’s fault. Hydra made the weapon. Bucky tried to save his life by tackling him out of the way. And for what? For Bucky to take the hit because he had “had worse” or “could take it more?” Damn martyr complex. Pulling off the side of the road, Sam squealed the truck to a stop. Bucky clenched his toenails as much as he could into the seat so he didn’t face plant into the glove compartment. Sam got out of the truck, slammed the door shut and ran into the wooded area and just let out all his frustration. He kicked at the sticks, he punched a tree, he threw rocks, pinecones, the disgusting road trash and beer bottles, and he screamed into the air. 

Bucky sat slightly into the wooded area and waited for Sam to finish.

After Sam screamed, he sat on the pine needle covered forest floor and just tried to control his breathing. Sam heard Bucky come up to him sitting beside him quietly. 

“This mental talking thing goes one way but I am gathering you are upset about something.” Bucky said.

Sam huffed a little laugh. “Yeah. You could say that.”

“My therapist would say that you built up your frustrations without an outlet which led to this explosive outburst. She would suggest building some coping skills and relaxation techniques to work on reducing this in the future.” Bucky said calmly. “Or, you could stop thinking you have to pretend everything is fine and be upbeat when it’s not.”

Sam continued to stare at the ground. He saw a bug or two walk through the pine needles and he avoided thinking they were crawling on him too while he sat on the ground.

“You didn’t have to jump in front of the ray, Bucky.” Sam said finally.

“Yes I did.”  Bucky said.

“No, you could have let it hit me and worried about your sorry ass for once. You could have swiped my legs so I fell on my ass and the ray dodged me. You could have kicked up my shield so it bounced off of me and hit a wall or something. But no, your first reaction was to just sacrifice yourself. Like you don’t matter.” Sam said quietly.

“Well yeah but” Bucky started.

“No, that's the thing of it all. You don’t think that you matter but you do. You matter to me, to Sarah, to the nephews, hell even to people out there who look up to you that you have never even met. You matter and you don’t see it. You go jumping out of airplanes without a chute and in front of science rays and you don’t think about the end result. All you see is how you can deal with your pain but not about others' pain. And, I may not be expressing myself clearly here, but I did not ask you to jump in front of that ray, and you do matter.” Sam unloaded his pent up words and frustrations. He wasn’t managing those like he tells his vets on how to do that. But he isn’t perfect. 

“And I just want to know one thing. Just one Bucky.” Sam said, looking at Bucky who was just looking at the same forest floor he was earlier. “Why? Why did you jump in front of the ray to take the hit?”

Bucky was silent. He started to say something and stopped. He started again and stopped. He closed his eyes and found the courage to admit to Sam “Cause I would rather be hurt or take what life throws at me protecting you, than watching you be hurt or me being on this planet alone…again. It’s selfish, I guess, but…I can’t do that where there is just me cause that just isn’t enough. I would rather deal with anything than be alone. Steve is gone, the Wakandians are gone, my family is gone, there is just you and your family, and for me, I would do anything to protect that.” 

They sat in silence after Bucky’s confession. Sam picked up a rock and tousled it in the palm of his hand. Nodding he said, “ok” threw the rock and tossed it into the woods. He stood up and headed back to the truck and over his shoulder he said “we are going to work on expanding your circle of friends. Maybe get you a hobby.” He got into the truck and shut the door. Bucky followed him, getting into the passenger side and shutting the door as well. Sam, taking a deep breath, started the truck and pulled back into the flow of traffic. He turned at the exit that said New York City and headed into the city.

****

Sam parked the truck in the garage of Avenger’s tower. Taking a beat he turned toward Bucky and opened his mouth to say something but Bucky was already hopping out of the truck. He had to tell Bucky about Ayo. 

Sam gets out and heads to the elevator. Friday, already knowing they are there, opens the doors to the elevator at the exact time they reach its doors. They step in and she closes the doors, sending them to the floor with Bruce, Peter…and company. He started fidgeting and finally said “Friday, stop the elevator.” Friday chimed and the elevator stopped. Bucky looked over at him. Sam took a breath in and out. Then in again, and then Bucky said “before you hyperventilate maybe you should spare yourself a bit. I know Ayo is here.”

That stopped Sam’s brain like squealing tires.

“How?” Was all he could get out.

“She let me know. In her way.” Bucky said but did not elaborate. 

Sam stood there staring and said “Were you going to tell me or were you just going to let me stew over that.”

“Your fault here, I didn’t call them.” Bucky said. “I had a bet going to see how far you would go. I thought you would tell me at the game but I guess waiting until the last minute in the elevator is fine as well.” He looked forward again at the elevator doors as Sam stared at him.

“Friday also can’t hear me so as far as she knows we are still talking so you will need to say something Sam.” Bucky said.

Sam got himself together and said “Thanks Friday, we can continue.” The elevator rose up and the doors opened. There stood Bruce, Peter, and Shuri around a table looking at what they assumed was the DogGoneIt Ray. Sam walked out but Bucky stayed in the elevator. 

“You coming?” Sam asked. 

Bucky shook his head and the doors closed. Sam heard the elevator move and he looked at the team not knowing what was going on. 

“Where is he going?” Sam asked. 

Bruce and Peter shrugged at the same time. Shuri, without looking up from the DogGoneIt Ray, said, “To talk to Ayo.”

“He can’t talk!” Sam said.

“That won’t stop them,” said Shuri, shrugging, as if it explained everything. 

Chapter Text

Chapter 18

Bucky sat in the middle of the elevator and waited for Friday to take him to Ayo. The elevator doors opened to the rooftop terrace and Bucky instantly smelled fresh air, plants, and a hint of smoke from a wood fire. Not common NYC smells but they were quite high above the city. Bucky closed his eyes briefly, stood up, and walked onto the rooftop. Following the smoke, he found a small fire built and, from the looks of it, it had been burning for at least an hour. He sat next to the fire and waited. He felt Ayo nearby. He waited for her. The sun set slowly, he felt the chill from the wind but also the warmth of the fire. He continued to wait.

He heard her come from the foliage hiding part of the roof terrace from his view. He saw her spear first. He saw her foot and leg next and then, Ayo fully stepped out from out of the flora and stood across from Bucky, the fire in between them. The smoke billowed up, the embers of the fire danced between them like fireflies. Ayo stared at Bucky through it all, her glare more intense than the fire. Bucky couldn’t meet her eyes. He stared at the fire and would flick his eyes up to no further than her chin. She stared at him for what felt like ages until she finally spoke.

“When the children of Wakanda named you White Wolf, it was not meant to be taken seriously James.” Ayo said. Bucky still did not meet Ayo’s eyes. He remembered the children that would run to his hut. A game to see who can get close enough before the White Wolf woke. Similar to Sam’s story of the kids who would run from the crocodile. Only the foolish few would do it. Unlike the crocodile, Bucky would never bite. Bucky almost smiled at the memory but the events with Zemo rushed into the memory. He hunched involuntarily into himself under Ayo’s continued stare. Shame radiated off of him so intently it was a wonder it didn’t catch on fire from the flames. 

“You used to meet my eyes James, but you didn't at first when we first met. Is this due to your shame or due to you sliding backwards from the hard work you have put into yourself.” Ayo ducked her head trying to meet Bucky’s eyes. Bucky flicked his eyes to Ayo’s but couldn’t hold the stare and flicked them away again.

“Maybe a bit of both.” Ayo said with an emotionless smile.

Ayo squatted from where she stood, spear held upright. She looked into the fire and said “Shuri woke you from your cold sleep, having conducted the first trial of removing Hydra’s words from your mind. You were still so afraid of the medical lab, Shuri decided we set you up in a room, a more forgiving and inviting place. That room had a view of the fields and the goats you would one day tend. But, that day, a mistake was made.”

Bucky remembered what mistake Ayo was talking about.

Shuri stood over him, all smiles and joy. It was a far cry from how he normally had been awakened where it was men in lab coats and pain. He felt no pain, he was not cold but he knew he was awakened from the cryo-chamber. He started to feel himself taking quick breaths but Shuri shushed him and said “It is alright there, James. We just woke you from your sleep. Your body is still waking up and there is nothing to fear. Look around you, what do you see?”

Bucky looked around and saw a beautiful room full of light and comfort. He saw outside a window a pond where the sun was glittering off the waters. He saw the greenest grass to where he was sure it was just a projection. Out of habit he stayed laying down on the bed but slowly he realized he was not tied down. He lifted his right arm and moved his fingers in front of his face. He tested his legs and found them not to be bound as well. He looked at Shuri questioningly and, as if reading his mind, she told him “You can get up James, once you feel as if you are ready.”

Bucky slowly sat up not feeling the woozy and disconnected from his body feeling he was so used to after the cryo-chamber. In fact, it felt as if he just took a restful nap and not woken from his usual cold sleep. His hands and feet didn’t feel numb, they felt warm. Bucky felt others in the room once he awoke and now took the moment to look at them. There were two women, both with spears, standing near Shuri over by the far wall. Shuri was looking at her tablet, unconcerned. 

“These two,” Shuri said, gesturing to the woman who flanked her and not looking up from her tablet, “are annoying stalkers. Ignore them. My brother and I did not feel they were necessary but this one,” Shuri said pointing to the woman on her right still looking at her tablet, “is Ayo and she takes her job super seriously.”  

The one called Ayo stared at Bucky. Bucky’s eyes met her chin but didn’t look further. He knew they were bodyguards to protect Shuri from him. He was glad they were there. He noticed the spears they held were just that, spears. 

“They are going to need something stronger than that.” Bucky said to Shuri.

“Nope.” Shuri responded, looking up from her tablet at Bucky as if that explained everything.

Bucky didn’t argue further and just felt his mouth clamp up. He wanted to say to use restraints, he wanted to say to keep weapons trained on him at all times. His brain would tell him these things to say but his mouth just stayed shut. Looking back out the window, Bucky waited for whatever Shuri had next.

After some time, Shuri spoke from her position next to the wall. “We seemed to have removed the triggers but we won’t know until we test, James. When would you like to proceed?”

Bucky stiffened at the question. He realized cannot remember the last time someone asked for his input in a direction for himself. He operated under orders for so long. When he escaped Hydra he operated on survival. His breath quickened again, he could feel his heartbeat picking up and starting to race. A quiet beeping was heard from Shuri’s tablet that was getting quicker and louder. Bucky realized it was his heart rate being picked up and soon he started to try and slow his heart rate. 

‘Fear is not permitted,’ a Russian voice told him from his memory. 

Closing his eyes and taking a steadying breath he simply told Shuri “Whenever you think is best.”

Shuri, a little unsure, looked from her tablet and back to him. Having seen his heart rate normalize she saw his states appeared to be all normal. “We can do this now.”

The next thing Bucky knew he was running down a hallway, lights flashing and a klaxon blaring. People were running away from him and he was limping along the walls, a trail of blood behind him. He tried a door handle, finding it locked. He tried another and the door opened. He fell inside. It was a room similar to what he woke up in. It had a bed in the middle against the wall and the same large glass window that overlooked the green fields and glittering pond. He stumbled over to the glass window and leaned up against it. He looked at his hand and saw the tip of a spear in his hand, covered in blood. He looked at his left leg seeing it was sliced in a manner where he could not use it, at least anytime soon until his healing factor kicked in. He took the spear and sliced his other leg making it inoperable as well. 

Panicking, he was trying to remember why he was doing that. Bits and pieces were starting to filter into his brain.

Shuri starting the words…..that feeling of losing control starting to wave into him….the Dora tightening their spears….the non-Ayo one taking a step towards him….him grabbing the spear and tossing the Dora toward the window but it not breaking….Bucky slicing his leg….Bucky running…

He was trying to make himself incapacitated. He didn't want to hurt anyone. He sliced his other leg making it immobile for the time being but that wasn’t enough. He was working on cutting his last available limb by placing the spear in his teeth. The door slowly opened and Bucky grabbed the spear and held it in front of him. 

He heard her come from the hallway, the door hiding part of the hallway from his view. He saw her spear first. He saw her foot and leg next and then Ayo fully stepped out of the hallway and stood across from Bucky, the flickering warning lights shining off of her armor and spear.

“Stay back, stay away!” Bucky said, stuttering his words in his panic. He didn’t know if the other Dora was alive, he wasn’t aware of his strength then. Did he pull it back at the last second? Was she alright?

Ayo saw him in the corner of the room, saw him trying to shift and push himself deeper into the corner as if it would swallow him up and away from the room and from her. She had followed the trail of blood into the room and saw it pool around him. His whole body shook with fear, with extrusion, with pain, but his arm with the spearhead was held straight and steady. She lowered her spear slowly and held her hands in front of her. 

“It is alright, James.” She said to him, “You will not harm me. You will not be harmed.”

“The other…the other Dora. Is she..” Bucky swallowed convulsively, eyes darting around for other threats, more Dora, more guards to come in at any moment and tried to ask “Is she hurt?”

“Only minor injuries. She made a mistake stepping toward you.” Ayo explained.

Bucky, still looking around, tried to calm his breathing.

“Please put down the spear, James.” Ayo said, continuing in her calming voice.

“No, I need to. I need to ensure I won't hurt anyone again. I need to..to…I can’t hurt anyone again. I don't wan…” Bucky cut himself off before he could finish the word. He isn’t allowed to want. Is he? 

“I won’t let you harm anyone, James.” She told him softly and with certainty. 

Bucky wanted to believe it.

He felt something break a little in his chest. He realized he had been crying as tears went down his face. He felt the sob catch in his chest and soon he couldn’t hold it back. He tried to be quiet but the sobs just came and came and came. He lowered the spearhead and Ayo took it slowly. She placed it near her own spear. She crawled over to Bucky and slowly reached out her hand to place on his arm. He continued to cry, folding into himself but did not shy away too much from her touch. She continued to slowly crawl over and sat next to him, placing her arm over his shoulders and comforting as he cried.

“Zemo killed my King, James.” Ayo said in a low, angry voice bringing Bucky back to the present. She was glaring at him, the light of the fire reflecting in her eyes. “And you let him walk free with you. You let him bring you back to the Winter Soldier persona, the one you wanted to stay away from forever.” 

Bucky, head hung lower, tried to move toward Ayo on the other side of the fire but could not move, fear holding him in place.

“I know why you did this.” She continued on, eyes moving from him to the fire. “And I was able to place him on the Raft. I was able to close the door on his freedom forever. That was nice.” Ayo said, smiling slightly. She crouched down in front of the fire.

“I know you were looking at the bigger picture but you act as if you do not have those around you to assist you. You may have had just orders before but now you have a team, friends, a family.” Ayo said, looking directly at James now. “Never forget it again.” 

Bucky whimpered and cried. He walked low, head down, and eventually started crawling toward Ayo. He waited. Ayo sat and moved her arm, giving Bucky enough room to come to her to place his head in her lap. He did.

Chapter Text

Sam wasn’t trying to spy on the obvious private conversation between Bucky and Ayo. But with their growing connection via the link Dr Strange setup, Sam couldn’t help but hear, feel, and see the entire exchange. He wiped tears from his face quietly to not draw attention. Bruce, Peter, and Shuri were all engrossed in the device that would turn Bucky from Dog to Man. He watched as they all worked together, discussing solutions, applying fixes, all which were above his head. He heard the soft *ding* of the elevator and everyone stopped to stare at the closed doors. They opened when Ayo walked in with Bucky by her side.

“Oh good,” Shuri said to Bucky “she did not skin you alive.” She smiled and Bucky gave her a brief nod. Ayo and Bucky walked next so Sam and Shuri frowned slightly. 

“James…where is your arm?” She asked.

Everyone looked to the empty space where Bucky’s robotic arm used to be. 

Sam offered “When he was turned into a dog, the arm and everything sorta fell off. It’s in the bag though.” He pointed to the rucksack that held everything Bucky owned. 

“Even the connector?” Shuri asked moving away from the device and walking toward Bucky.

“Tell her it's fine,” Bucky said to Sam.

Sam repeated what Bucky had said and Shuri shook her head. “It is most definitely not fine.” She crouched to Bucky’s level and gave him a stare. Bucky held her gaze but then dropped his head slightly.

“What’s going on? It's not that big of a deal right? It's just a connector like some sort of k'nex set right?” Sam said, starting to worry.

Shuri looked at Bucky and raised her eyebrows, as if to ask for permission to explain. Bucky briefly met her eyes and gave a slight nod.

“It's more than that. It helps stabilize the healing and damage. Without it, his advanced healing would worsen the damage causing pain and complications.” Shuri never stopped looking at Bucky. 

“So what do we do?” Sam asked.

Shuri looked up at Sam. “We fix the device.” Standing up she placed her hands on her hips. “And James gets a massage.”

“Not happening.” Bucky said to Sam.

“What do you mean ‘not happening?’ Massages are awesome. Stress reliever. Swedish or hot stone! OMG yes hot stone massages are where it is at man.” Sam said. Everyone stared at Sam.

“What,” he said. “They are.”

“Come White Wolf.” Ayo said. “You too Sam.” Ayo went back to the elevator. The AI opened the elevator as they neared the doors and the trio stepped in. They went back to the rooftop terrace and settled down next to the fire embers. 

“You are not watching Sam.” Bucky said. “That's…creepy.”

“Oh, watching is creepy. That staring thing you do is what, cuddly?” Sam scoffed.

“Sam needs to learn.” Ayo said with a tone leaving no room for argument. “Even with Shuri’s device this will need to be done to relieve all pain. Sam can help you with this.”

Ayo sat down and motioned for Bucky to come next to her. Bucky slowly walked over mumbling “rather have the pain” under his breath.

“I will not take that as an insult to my massage skills but your fragile male views which need updating.” Sam said.

“It’s not cause you’re a” Bucky stopped himself. “Never mind.”

“No, go on. If it's not cause I am a man, what is it then? Think you are the first guy to get a massage to help with battle injuries? Think you have the corner on martyr-dom on keeping the pain hidden?” Sam said.

“No.” Bucky said. “Cause it’s a bother.”

Sam paused. “Bother me. Please. Always. I don’t mind.”

Ayo started on Bucky’s head gently stroking the fur. She moved to his neck and back and then to his good shoulder. She moved slowly to his bad shoulder and Bucky couldn’t stop the yelp of pain and stopped himself from biting Ayo. Ayo slowed her hands but did not stop. 

“Sorry.” Bucky said, dejectedly.

Sam went to translate for him but Ayo said “It’s alright James. Relax.”

She started humming a tune that Sam did not recognize. It was soft and soothing. Soon he felt a feeling of relaxation wash over him and felt his eyelids become heavy. He then saw Bucky’s tense body relax and realized he was asleep. Ayo continued her tune and softly released the pain in Bucky’s shoulder.

Quietly, the elevator doors dinged behind them. Ayo did not look up but Sam turned to see who it was. Out walked Shuri with a grim smile.  

“What's up?” Sam asked, slowly standing.

“We have a small problem. The reason the device is not working is that a piece is missing. This is alien tech, we cannot recreate it.” Shuri said softly, not waking Bucky.

“So what are our options? There has to be an option.” Sam said, trying to not let his panic rise.

“You said that you were able to capture the scientist but one flipped a switch which activated the gun?” 

Sam nodded.

“Were you able to capture him?” Shuri asked.

“No, he escaped in the chaos of it all. Rhodey said he was still looking for him last we heard.” Sam said.

“He took a piece of the gun with him. That has to be the missing component.” Shuri sat down across from Ayo and Bucky’s sleeping form. Sam sat down next to her.

“But we can’t find the guy.” Sam said.

“We don’t need him, we need the missing component. Would be nice to have him also, for justice sake. Here” She handed Sam a mini tablet. Sam turned it on and it had a map with a blinking light. “This is a map of all alien tech on the planet.”

“Just one piece? I thought there would be way more.” Sam said.

“Oh there are.” Shuri moved her hand and pressed a few buttons on the tablet. The entire globe lit up with pings of alien tech.

“Oh no, hehe, we got way more.” Sam said, surprised.

“Most are nothing to be worried about, but this one” Shuri pressed more buttons “is the only one at a hydra base. It has moved from base to base to base so unless it has developed legs, that is your missing scientist. Bring me the component and we can turn James back into himself again.”

Sam started to get up. “Let me get my suit. This looks to be in Delaware. I can get there in the Quinjet and get it back before you know it.” Shuri nodded. 

“We will watch over James.” Ayo said. 

Sam nodded. He headed to the elevator, stopped to pick up his suit and headed to the quinjet. The quinjet started up and took off toward Delaware without Sam having to do anything. Friday took care of so many things.

He sat in the cockpit and looked out at New York City retreating from view. He took a deep breath and released it. “It is very pretty huh?” Sam heard a voice say.

Sam screamed.

Chapter Text

Sam screamed. 

Peter screamed back.

“WHAT are you doing here?” Sam said, regaining himself.

Peter, wide eyed, said “Helping!”

“By giving me a heart attack!?” Sam exclaimed.

“No just..helping. We can’t do anything until we get that piece and you may need backup.” Peter said.

Sam looked Peter up and down and saw Peter was in his Spider suit. He sighed and said “Well don’t get in the way. Follow my lead.”

Peter nodded. “And try not to get turned into a dog. Got it.”

Sam snorted and shook his head. The rest of the trip was in silence. 

The quinjet landed and they exited. “Where is the building?” Peter asked, putting on his Spiderman Mask

Sam adjusted his goggles  and sent redwing to scan the area. Redwing supplied the mapping data of the hydra facility and Sam reviewed it from the computer on his wrist. He walked over to a manhole and pointed. “Under there. There are tunnels and rooms. Like…ants.” 

“Or like bees.” Peter supplied. “Badgers, moles…..bunnies. Lot of animals really.”

Sam looked at Peter.

“How about ‘like someone we need to get.’ That work?” Sam said

“Also Bilby’s.” Peter said as a final option. Sam just stared at Peter. “Ya done?” He asked.

Peter nodded.

“The tech we are looking for is in the back room here.” Sam pointed to the blinking dot in one of the mapped rooms. It was moving around the room. “Doesn’t seem to be too heavily guarded but we should be ready for anything. Friday disabled the alarm system so we can sneak in undetected. Stay alert, stay safe.” He turned off his wrist computer and pulled up the manhole cover. He ascended down the ladder and Peter jumped down beside him.

“Ya know, you may want to think about saving your knees and avoid jumping like that. You won’t be young forever.” Sam said. 

“But I am young now so…” Peter responded, shrugging. 

They opened the double bay door and immediately heard barking. Lots of barking. They walked through the corridor and peeked in the window of the first room. Rows and rows of cages of dogs of various sizes and mixed breeds.Some were cowering in the corners, some were sitting and staring, some were running into the cages trying to break free.

“Are they…are they all people?” Peter whispered.

Sam's face turned grim. He quickly counted and there had to be 30 dogs in here. “I don’t know. Come on, let's keep moving.” 

They continued on, following Sam’s map to the room that held the alien tech. The door was a metal frame but had a glass window for Sam to easily see in. And, for baddies to see out. Sam motioned for Peter to go to the other side of the door and he spider-crawled up to the ceiling and to the other edge. He gave a thumbs up and Sam backed up a few paces. He held the shield in his hand, lined up his shot, and ricocheted the shield off the wall and it sailed through the glass door and into the room. Peter shot his web and started slinging them at anything that moved. Sam bounced off the same wall and barrel rolled into the room with his falcon wings and started firing. When the dust settled they had 2 dogs and 3 scientists. Peter slung them up and Sam started patting them down.

“I remember you,” one of the scientists said. “You interrupted us last time.” 

“What’s your name?” Sam asked. 

“Chaz.” Chaz said.

“Shut the fuck up Chaz.” Sam responded. 

Sam went over to the dogs and checked them over. He tried to talk to them but didn’t get a response, no static in his mind or voices. Guess Dr Strange’s ‘spell’ only worked on him and Bucky. He tried having them bark once for yes or twice for no and still no response. They just acted like….dogs.

“Peter, take the dogs and put them into the cages. Make sure they have food and water. We are gonna come back for them later.”

Peter nodded and headed to follow Sam’s instructions.

“Too late for those failures.” Chaz said to Sam, motioning to the dogs with a tilt of his head. “No humanity left in them. They quickly go from Human To Dog to staying a dog.”

“You are messing with an alien technology asshole. Let dogs be dogs and I told you to shut up.” Sam said, patting Chaz and the scientists down for any hidden weapons or tech. He then looked over at the newly refurbished Dog Ray Gun for the missing alien tech.

“Your friend though, he didn't turn so quickly did he? Is he still him? Zola’s serum is still pumping in his veins, doing Hydra’s work?” Chaz asked Sam.

Sam ignored him and kept scanning the device for the missing piece, his visor doing most of the work.

“Always was a good dog, that soldier. A true real bitc-” Before he could finish the word, a web shot out from the demolished door frame over his mouth.

“You are being very rude.” Peter said. “Best you take a moment to quietly contemplate your words and actions.” Peter moved next to Sam and looked over the device with him. 

“There!” Peter said, finding the piece and grabbing it from the device. Sam and Peter headed out the door. A muffled shout stopped them. Chaz was trying to say something.

“Actually…I have a better idea,” Sam said, smiling. 

A few moments later, Sam locked the last cage closed. 

“There you go sweetpea. Enjoy!” Sam banged on the cage door as Chaz, stuffed in a cage too small to be comfortable, wriggled around still bound with Spiderman’s webs.. Chaz screamed as loud as he could, still muffled from Peter silencing him earlier, furious and red faced. Sam walked past the cages holding the other scientists and petted the dogs they set free from their confinements.

“Let’s lock up, Rhodey has reinforcements coming to handle the rest.” Sam said. They exited the base and climbed back up the ladder. 

“So, where do these bases get their power, do you think?” Sam asked Peter. “It's not like the power company is going to come out here and check the meter.”

“Hack into the power grid and scramble the remote connection so it pings off a few nearby locations so the power company has no idea.” Peter responded rather quickly.

Sam stopped at the top of the ladder and helped Peter up the rest of the way. “You responded way too quickly to that,” he said.

“I was thinking about that the whole ride over. That's how I would do it.” Peter responded, shrugging. “Plus no one checks meters any more, that's all done remotely.”

Peter walked past Sam and Sam rolled his eyes. 

“Missulena!” Peter said, turning to Sam.

“Gesundheit…” Sam said.

Peter laughed, walking back to the jet while still looking back at Sam. “No Missulena. They are burrowing spiders. Like the mice and bunnies”

“And bilby’s.” Sam said, pointing to Peter and raising his eyebrows.

“Exactly!” Peter said, bouncing slightly. “AND they have my same coloring.” Peter pointed to his red and blue suit as if Sam was oblivious.

They heard a shotgun cock and froze. In front of the jet stood Rick.

“Hey Sam.” Rick said, grinning a smug grin.

“Spiderman, this is Rick. He is a dick.” Sam said. The time for pleasantries went out the window when Rick tortured Bucky. Disregarding that Rick didn’t know Bucky was who he was and thought Bucky was just a dog, shooting a dog is still pretty low.

“How’s your bitch, the Winter Soldier?” Rick asked.

Ok maybe he DID know the dog was Bucky.

“Really man, Hydra?” Sam said trying not to make a move. His shield was on his back but, if Peter could cause a distraction, he might just be able to sling the shield and knock the gun out of Rick’s hands. “Couldn’t just join some other organization. American Mustache Institute…or maybe the Worlds Association of Ugly People. Something with class.”

“Don’t move Spider-Bitch.” Rick said. Peter had started to move his arm to sling his web. “You move me and this whole thing blows.”

“You need to stop calling people the B-word. It’s not very nice.” Peter said.

Sam had his visor scan the ground and found Rick to be on a pressure plate. Moving Rick, shooting Rick, anything like that would cause it to explode.

Fuck.

Chapter Text

“What do you want, Rick?” Sam asked him. “You want something or we would have been shot or killed already.”

“I want my family's money that was owed to me. You ‘super fuck sticks’ didn’t do your job. If you did I wouldn’t have been blipped. If you did, I wouldn’t have to work that FUCKING minimum wage job. My parents wouldn’t have split, my Dad wouldn’t be trying to rebuild something that was lost, my mom would still talk to me, our house wouldn’t have been sold. If you did your job I would have my LIFE!” Rick’s voice increased with each word until he was shouting at them. He was getting more and more agitated and Sam saw him start shifting.

“Hey man, watch your step.” Sam said, putting his hands up to still Rick, motioning with his head that Rick was dangerously close to tripping the pressure plate. “We don’t want anything rash.” Taking a deep breath he continued. “Look, I am sorry for your troubles. We did the best that we could and the team worked their ASSES off getting him. We lost good people. So I am sorry you aren’t rich anymore, that your life isn’t your life anymore, but we did what we could.” 

“Lives were lost.” Peter said, quietly. Sam couldn’t see Peter’s face through the mask but he knew would read Tony’s loss all over it. 

“I don’t care.” Rick said. “We are going to sit here until my friends come by. Pack up this underground shithole and set up somewhere else. Don’t try anything funny. I have the remote to turn off the explosion device.” 

“You’re ‘friends’ aren’t coming. They are disbanded across the dark corners of the world like rats. They aren’t organized anymore. You are on the wrong side Rick. Come on man, just disable the bomb and let’s go about our way. We don’t need to do this.” Sam tried to plead with his old schoolmate. 

“Fuck you.” Rick raised his weapon but Peter was quicker. Peter shot his webbing at the weapon, sticking it to the hull of the quinjet. Rick stepped backwards, stumbling off the pressure plate. Sam grabbed the shield and Peter at the same time, protecting them behind the shield from the bomb’s fire and shrapnel as it blasted them backwards. Then everything went dark.

*******

First thing Sam noticed was how quiet it was. Second thing Sam noticed was how cool it was except for his right thigh. Third thing Sam noticed it wasn’t quiet, there was a faint beeping and the hum of the a/c? What was the humming? He slowly opened his eyes and winced at the bright light. He closed them quickly, took a breath, and tried again. Slowly. His head hurt and he knew that blast gave him a concussion but he seemed otherwise unscathed. He wiggled his fingers and toes then felt the warm patch by his thigh shift. Looking down he saw Bucky laying on the hospital bed, next to him keeping him warm. Bucky noticed that Sam was stirring and shifted and sat up, yawning. Sam recognized the humming as that white noise from their mental connection. So Bucky was a dog right now. Well, in mind and body.

Bucky sniffed him cautiously, checking Sam over. He got to Sam’s face, finding Sam otherwise unharmed and began licking Sam fervently. 

“Oh man, you are going to hate yourself for that!” Sam said, chuckling. At his laughing, Bucky started to wag his tail and licking more.

“Ok OK Personal Space man! Ask for consent first!” Sam laughed, pushing Bucky off and motioned for him to sit on the floor. Bucky hopped down, sat comfortably on the floor and Sam started to get off the hospital bed. 

At this moment, Bruce came in.

“Glad to see you are awake!” He said. “Everything looks good, your CT scan” but Bruce didn’t get to finish. 

“Where are we at with the DogGoneIt Ray. Did they get the piece installed?” Sam interrupted, starting to stand up and look for his pants. He felt woozy, swaying slightly, but placed his hand on the bed and felt a warm hand placed on his shoulder.

Bruce gently pushed Sam back toward the hospital bed and Sam’s woozy moment passed. 

“Let’s take it a little easy alright. They are working and almost finished. Bucky is still fine, he is having longer ‘dog spells’ but otherwise is still him. The Ray should be finished any moment now but you fainting won’t fix that.” Bruce said calmly, checking Sam over with a penlight and a focused look.

“I wasn’t going to faint.” Sam said, indignantly.

Bruce gave a “humm.” but otherwise ignored Sam’s remark. Finding Sam to be healing fine and in otherwise good health, he left Sam to dress with Bucky following behind Bruce as he left the room. Sam met them back in the DogGone It Ray fixing room where he saw Peter and Shuri hunched over, quietly talking and working.They didn't even glance at him as he entered the room.  Bruce was looking on from the corner, giving the two genius kids their space. Ayo was standing next to Bruce in her sentry position, watching Shuri intently, her red and gold cloak on her shoulders and draped over one arm. Bucky was sitting on a bench on the side of the room looking at everyone. Sam sat next to Bucky watching the kids work when he heard a *sigh* and found it came from Bucky.

“Welcome back.” Sam said to him.

“Shouldn’t I be saying that to you?” Bucky said, gruffly.

“Don’t tell me you are sore that I left you behind.” Sam said to Bucky, turning to face him.

“No.” Bucky said and Sam did not believe a word of it.

“We got the missing alien tech.” Sam said. “Oh, and Rick the Dick is no more.”

“Bummer.”  Bucky said. 

“He knew who you were. He knew that you were YOU as a dog. He was one sick fuck. He was with Hydra the whole time, helping them on their ‘dog invasion plan’ or something. Which, by the way, the plan is now on hold, indefinitely.” Sam said.

“You mean on …paws…” Peter piped in, looking up from the DogGone It Ray and looking at Sam smiling. 

“I am gunna..” Bucky started.

“No you are not, he was very helpful.” Sam said, stopping Bucky from finishing whatever thought he had. 

Peter looked slightly worried, glancing quickly at Bucky but resumed his work.

Sam gave a slight chuckle but it quickly dissipated when he felt that same static starting to take over. 

“Bucky! Hang on man. Try to hang on, alright?” Sam said, grabbing Bucky’s face, trying to keep him in the present. He felt the static shift away and Bucky returned. Sam didn’t have Bruce’s scanner but he FELT Bucky slipping away. He knew they were almost out of time.

“Guys, we need to speed this up!” Sam said.

“DONE!” Peter and Shuri said together. 

Sam picked Bucky up and placed him at the opposite wall. Bucky kept slipping in and out of the static.

“Sam, if i don’t make it..” he started to say.

“Nope, ain’t listening man. We are almost there.” Sam said, placing Bucky where he needed to be, feeling Bucky fade mentally.

“If this doesn’t work.” Bucky tried to say again.

“It’s going to work!” Sam said, a little desperately. He looked over his shoulder at the kids and shouted “is that damn thing ready!?”

Shuri responded but Sam heard the worry lacing into her usually confident voice. “It’s turning on now, just a few more seconds!”

“Just know..” Bucky started to say.

“READY!” Peter shouted.

Sam jumped back and locked eyes with Bucky. The ray gun shot its light beam at Bucky and lit up the entire room. Then everything went black.

*****

The team stood in the pitch black room, holding their breath. They waited for the generator to kick on, having knocked out the power to the building. Slowly the lights flickered on, and they all continued to stare at the part of the room Bucky the dog had been.

Now, Bucky the human, was in his place. Sam ran over to Bucky, not knowing if he should place a hand on him or not.

“Bucky?” Sam asked, afraid he wouldn’t get a response. 

Bucky started to stir. He blinked open his eyes and looked at Sam.

“Sam?” He said out loud.

Sam smiled and heard the team behind him let out the breath they were holding. 

“Hey man! Welcome back. How ya feelin’?” Sam asked, continuing to smile.

Bucky slowly pushed himself up with one arm so he was sitting up and looked down, noticing he had nothing on whatsoever.

“Cold.” Bucky responded. Ayo walked over and draped her cloak over him, covering him so he could stand up. Bruce walked up to him and quietly scanned him.

“Things are looking good here Sergeant Barnes.” Bruce said, smiling, reading the results on the StarkPad. “Very good!”

“Bucky.” Bucky said to him. “You can call me Bucky.”

Bruce smiled bigger and nodded.

Chapter Text

Epilogue

“No, you really did.” Sam said, putting the truck into park.

“No, I didn’t.” Bucky said, annoyance being heard in his voice.

“Yeah, full on face licking. Dog slobber ALL over me, as I was trying to recuperate in the hospital too.” Sam said, poking fun at Bucky cause….well it’s fun. “Not bad breath, for a dog.” Sam continued.

Bucky and Sam climbed up the stairs to Bucky’s apartment.

“Wanna know how you can be assured I am telling the truth?” Sam said.

Bucky hummed a growl. Indicating that he in fact did not want to know. He fished out his keys from his coat pocket. He put the key into the door and opened it, walking into the apartment.

Sam continued on, chuckling following him into the apartment. “Cause it has been established that I am a horrible liar.” Sam closed the door behind him and set the grocery bags he had been carrying down onto the counter of Bucky’s kitchen.

Dr Strange had removed their mental connection, giving Bucky back his full autonomy and privacy. After a couple of days at Avengers tower, Bucky (and Sam, since explosions hurt because he was not enhanced) were given full bills of health. Shuri and Bruce helped reattach Bucky’s arm. Bucky had given a sigh of relief at the lack of pain, forgetting how he had gotten used to the pain without the device Shuri had created to keep it at bay. 

Bucky and Sam started putting grocery’s away.

“Now, these are called vegetables,” Sam said, lifting up the zucchini, cucumbers, tomatoes, and onions for Bucky to see, as if he was blind. “And these are fruits.” Sam lifted up strawberries, apples, bananas, and oranges. 

He put some in the fridge and some in the fruit bowl Sarah had sent over. Bucky quietly started putting the can goods into the bare pantry. Sam reached in past Bucky and took the lone spam can out. Bucky gave him an annoyed look. Sam looked the can over and checked the expiration date.

“Man, not only is this Spam stuff NOT healthy for you, the damn can is expired.” Sam said, tossing the can into the trash.

“I don’t think super soldiers need to care about health, Sam. Also, expiration dates are suggestions.” Bucky said, resuming putting away the cans of beans, chicken broth, tuna, tomato sauce, and some boxed pasta. “This is a lot of food, Sam.” Bucky said, after everything was put away.

“No, it's the right amount. 3 meals a day, some snacks. Perfect amount.” Sam responded, placing the bags to be taken to recycle later.

“Even before…everything. Before the war, before the Depression, we didn’t eat this much.” Bucky pulled two beers from the fridge, popped open the bottles, and handed one to Sam. He looked at the array of furniture that was in various stages of assembly. The bookcase was almost completed, the futon couch was fully assembled. The bedroom still didn’t have the bed put together and was left untouched. The mirror Bucky had taken down before they left was leaning against the door to the bathroom. Bucky stared at it, not quite sure what to do with it. 

“Well, times have changed. You are living the high life now, 3 squares a day with cheetos occasionally. AND the grocery store has a repeating order setup so every week, head down there and they will have all the food packed up and ready to go for you on this day at around this time. Just check for the text.” Sam said, taking a swig of the beer. 

Sam had been spending most if not all his time in New York with Bucky, getting him food, furniture, putting it together. He went back to assembling the bookcase and Bucky watched quietly. Occasionally handing him a screw or a hammer, whatever was needed to complete the assembly. Eventually, the bookcase came together and they sat it up on the far wall. 

Sam turned to Bucky and said, “Want to start on the bedroom furniture next?” 

Bucky paused. Sam didn’t push. Just gave Bucky space.

“Help me put up the mirror.” Bucky said finally.

Sam nodded. They grabbed the mirror, Sam held it as Bucky reattached it to the bathroom wall.

“Can I ask a question?” Sam asked as he held the mirror when Bucky was putting the last screw in.

Bucky glanced at Sam and nodded.

“Why did you take the mirror down?” Sam asked. 

Bucky tightened the last screw. 

“It fogs up sometimes.” Bucky said flatly. “Reminds me of when they would put me on ice and the last thing I would see would be the container fogging up, then the cold would come. You wouldn’t shake the cold for days.”

After a pause, he continued “I like hot showers. But they fog up the mirror”

Sam nodded. Stepping back they looked at the mirror that was put up and Sam glanced at Bucky’s reflection. He stepped forward, grabbed the shaving cream off the bathroom counter and sprayed it over the mirror. He grabbed some paper towel and wiped off the cream from the mirror. 

Bucky looked at Sam like he was crazy.

Sam just simply said “It prevents the mirror fogging up. Saw it on TikTok.” He shrugged and went back to the bedroom. The afternoon light made the barren room that had furniture boxes seem like the start of something. Sam had Bucky take down the newspaper coverings and put up curtains. It made the barren room a bit more cheery. 

Bucky grabbed a box that was the bedframe and started opening it. Sam stepped in beside him and they started assembling it together. 

Bucky looked up at Sam and watched as Sam took out the pieces and placed them in piles so they could not lose them and keep track of them. 

“Sam?” Bucky said quietly, pausing what he was doing. Sam looked up at him.

“Yeah?” Sam said, seeing that Bucky stopped assembling entirely. Did Bucky want him to stop? Was Sam pushing too much? Doubt started to enter Sam’s mind so he just waited until Bucky said what he was thinking.

“About what I was going to say. Before I was turned from Dog to Human…” Bucky started to say. He looked away from Sam’s face. He knew he wouldn’t see scorn or anything like that. He knew he would see openness and support but it still made things hard to say, like ‘feelings.’

“I never really….had…anyone look out for me. I was always looking out for others. Steve from….everyone” Bucky chuckled at the memory. “My sister and my mom from my dad. The soldiers in my unit, soldiers at the POW factory. When someone would get sick or hurt at the factory, I covered for them. Cause we knew that's when Zola would come, take them away. Never to be seen again. The last thing you would ever hear would be their screams…begging.”

Bucky pauses and fiddles with a hex wrench. One of about a million he has currently because every kit came with one. 

“I always came….last.” He said finally. He looked back up at Sam, who still had the open expression. “I guess I just wanted to say, back then….and now…Thank you. For being my….friend.”

“Coworkers.” Sam corrected, grinning like an idiot.

“Friend.” Responded Bucky, sharing a small smile in return.

“Acquaintances.” Sam corrected again.

“Friend,” Bucky counter corrected. “If you will have me,” looking directly at Sam. 

Sam nodded, still smiling. Sam clapped Bucky on both of his shoulders.

“I don’t know how to tell you this, but I already got you man.”

Sam tapped the shoulders and then said “now, let’s get this furniture built then do whatever we want after. Maybe go to the coffee shop. Get a  pup-a-chino?”

“No.” Bucky said flatly, then thought about it. “You think Amy is working today?”

Sam chuckled. “We can find out.”

Bucky smiled, handed Sam a hex wrench, and felt a bit more at peace.