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The day was hot, with the Light above glaring down on Toshiko. While waiting to figure out where the Scions wanted to go from here, she has become restless. She could feel the combined Light of the Wardens coursing beneath her skin. The agonizing pain had not eased since the Light began to change her, and only her training kept her from collapsing. Her fists balled, thinking back to the chaos after fighting Vauthry. She had suspected G'raha Tia was the Crystal Exarch's actual identity, but had waited for him to say so when he was actually comfortable doing so. She had also been worrying over the Exarch's - no, G'raha's - health, as he had been pushing himself too hard, but now she could see it as the sign of a man pushing himself far enough to be able to sacrifice himself when the time was right. He was going to die the day he decided that Tosh would make sure of that. The scolding she planned to give him was long and harsh. She sighed, running her hand through her hair, and wishing Kai was here. She was always the better one about scolding without being too harsh. Tosh just wanted to be able to talk to her, but she was on the Source, hopefully at the Crystal Dawn's house crafting. She hadn't even sent a letter through Feo Ul after defeating Vauthry, unwilling to burden Kaiprys with the possibility of her impending transformation into the ultimate Sin Eater. She did have a stack of letters for the others in the Crystal Dawn, and a special letter for Kaiprys, with a note for Feo Ul to deliver them should the worst happen.
A splash jerked her out of her reverie, and she reminded herself that she had to still pay attention to her surroundings. Taking stock of what was around her, she realized that her wanderings had led her to The Thirstless Shore. She remembered her surprise at the name, then dismissed that, as she began to sit down. She could feel Ardbert's aether shift next to her, and she turned to see him taking his axe off his back as he sat next to her.
"I did wonder if you could sit comfortably with that. Guess that answers it."
He snorts, "Well, it's technically part of me so I can do what I want with it, short of interacting with the world around me. I suppose I could do the same with my clothes, but as I do not feel the environment around me, I have never needed to try to take my coat off."
Tosh hums, and the silence stretches between them, with only the movements of monsters and the barrier of Light above them resonating. Her thoughts begin to drift in the silence, thinking of the last time she had seen Kai. She was watching as her wife puttered around the company garden, ensuring that the cloudsbreath she was growing were doing well. Kai was working on crafting these ridiculous flying chair mounts for some of the members that did not have one yet. This had come about after someone had groused about not having one like Ivy and Tosh. Once Kai had mentioned being able to make them, Medivh, Aether, and a few others began requesting one as well. Tosh smiled, remembering Kaiprys' joy about having a new project to work on.
"What are you thinking of?"
Startled, Tosh looks at Ardbert, "What?"
"You had a faint, wistful smile, so I asked what you were thinking of."
"Oh, I was thinking of the last time I was with my wife Kaiprys. She had a new project, and was working on the garden. I miss her quite a lot."
"She is still in the Source?"
"Yes. She is safe, just focusing on her efforts to improve the company house, and help the others improve their armor. She's very selfless, one of the reasons I adore her."
"Will you tell me of her?"
Pausing, Tosh takes a breath "If I get started I won't stop to be frank. I will tell you that she is my best friend, and is the most honest and kind person I have met. I would do anything for her"
"Have you told her?"
Feigning ignorance, Tosh replies, "I've told her I would do anything for her."
"You know I did not mean that. Have you told her of the Light transforming you?"
"No. And I don't plan to. Last thing she needs is to be worried about me when my soul is in a whole other world. I have faith in Ryne and the Scions."
"She would want to know."
"What do you know of it?" Tosh snapped, anger flaring. She felt the Light roil, and worked to calm herself.
"Maybe nothing. Personally, I would want to know about my friend's suffering, and would be more worried if it were my spouse."
She didn't reply, mulling over his words. The air was still and quiet, contrasting sharply with the sounds of the ocean she grew up next to, and the lack of noise unnerved her.
"Toshiko. I am sorry if I was too blunt. I forget that we have not known each as long as it feels sometimes. A lot has happened, and with you being the only one able to see me, I feel closer to than I have in many years. Since losing my friends and my home."
Sighing, Tosh leaned back on her hands, "you have nothing to apologise for Ardbert. You have helped me clear my mind several times since this began. I consider you a friend and ally, even if our original meeting was not the best. I should not have spoken to you like that. The pain from the Light is ever present, and I miss Kaiprys like I imagine an amputee misses a limb. You're right of course, I shouldn't take the option to worry away from her, and she'll probably give me a good talking to for even thinking of keeping this from her."
Ardbert smiled, a small, startled smile, and then looked out across the lake again. "I appreciate your friendship more than you know. It has been lonely, all these years without the others. Living this half life as a specter. When will you tell her?"
"I want to sit here a while longer, and then I will write a letter for her once I make it back to the Crystarium. If I ask nicely enough Feo Ul will take it to her. I am their "precious sapling" after all."
They laugh, knowing that Toshiko was only a sapling because Feo Ul was fae, and therefore much older than most. She towered over almost all, except maybe Medivh. Ardbert and Toshiko sat on the shore for an hour before deciding to go back to the Crystarium. She rode her wedding chocobo, Tiberius, back to the sanctuary instead of walking. She had found the piece of mind she needed when setting out on her walk, and now felt an urgency to get back and write to Kai. She knew Kai deserved to know, and she knew she wouldn't have much time to write this letter. Time was running out, and eventually Toshiko would need to leave the Crystarium whether Ryne or Y'shtola found a way to remove the Light from her or not. Emet-Selch had to be dealt with, and they needed G'raha Tia back.
The time had come.