Work Text:
Ryan watched Esposito out of the corner of his eye. He’d been fidgety all morning and Ryan was concerned. He was more concerned about his safety because of how badly he’d nicked himself that morning while shaving. He’d taken the razor from him and asked what was wrong, but Esposito insisted he was fine. So Ryan merely gave him a kiss and the two of them continued on with their morning routine. But it was clear by the time they reached the precinct that Esposito wasn’t fine.
He seemed to be shaky, he would space out every once in a while, and Beckett more than once had to bring him back to the conversation. Ryan thought maybe he was sick, but he didn’t look sick. He just acted sick. It made Ryan worried. Made him really worried, because it meant there was something on his mind he was too afraid to tell him.
He knew it couldn’t be that Esposito had cheated. Esposito was the most faithful partner Ryan had ever had. But maybe he did something. Maybe he’d done something awful he was too afraid to tell him. And it had to be something big because they told each other everything.
Or maybe he wanted to break up. Maybe he was worried because breaking up and making everything and everyone uncomfortable was the reason they’d taken so long to get together in the first place. Maybe he didn’t love Ryan anymore but was worried if they broke up one of them would have to transfer.
It made Ryan sick to think like that. And it was mostly because he’d never loved anyone more than he loved Esposito, and the thought of him not loving him back anymore made his stomach clench painfully.
“You want some coffee, Beckett?” Castle asked about halfway through the day.
“Sure. Thanks, Castle.” Beckett said, smiling at him.
Ryan watched Castle leave the group and then a second later he saw Esposito get up from his computer and follow.
Just like Castle had asked Beckett, Esposito would always ask Ryan if he wanted coffee. But this time he didn’t. He didn’t even look at Ryan. He just got up and left.
Ryan tried to swallow down his fear, but he really just wanted to throw up. It was entirely possible that he was wrong and Esposito was just having a bad day, but he couldn’t shake the feeling. Ryan always just assumed the worst. Maybe that made him a pessimist, but he really didn’t want to try to look at the bright side because if he got his hopes up and Esposito had fallen out of love with him, everything would be worse.
He slowly went back to his work. Maybe he could talk to him at lunch and try to get to the bottom of things. Because, regardless of how it affected Ryan, Esposito had a problem. And, really, even if it was going to hurt Ryan, he still wanted to help. It wouldn’t matter if Esposito had fallen out of love, because Ryan had found himself falling further and further the longer they were together and his main focus was to make Esposito happy. Because he loved him.
Esposito and Castle emerged from the break room, Esposito with no coffee and Castle with only one cup.
He set the cup on Beckett’s desk. “I’m gonna go to lunch with Esposito.” He said. “I’ll be back in about an hour.”
Beckett nodded and allowed him to give her a kiss before leaving.
“You’re going to lunch with Castle?” Ryan asked Esposito.
“Yeah.” Esposito nodded, looking strangely uncomfortable. “Uh, I’ll see you later.”
Ryan watched him follow Castle to the elevator, feeling the cold absence of a kiss. He caught Beckett’s eye. She also looked confused at the lack of kiss between the boys. Ever since they came clean about their relationship three years ago, they took every chance they could to steal kisses.
Before they could step into the elevator, Ryan stood and jogged over to them. Who says Esposito had to be the one to always initiate kissing?
“Hey, Javi,” he said, causing Esposito to turn around and Castle to hold the elevator for him. “I… I’ll see you later.”
Esposito nodded. “Okay.”
Ryan hesitated and then leaned forward. Esposito leaned the rest of the way and gave him a quick peck on the lips.
“See you later.” He said, before stepping into the elevator with Castle.
Ryan watched the doors close and could instantly feel the eyes of his co-workers on his back. He wanted more than anything for the ground to swallow him up. Because the worst feeling in the world is not only to have the love of your life not love you back, but for the entire world to know about it.
~.~.~
“What the hell was that?” Castle asked once He and Esposito were in the taxi on their way to whatever address Espo had given the cab driver. “Look, Esposito. You’re my friend and I’ll always have your back, but if you hurt Ryan, I swear-”
“Hurt Ryan?” Esposito asked. “What? No, that’s not what… just… look.” He pointed out the window as the cab driver arrived at the address.
Castle looked out the window and his face instantly lit up. “A jewelry store.” He said, then looked back at Esposito. “Are we going ring shopping for lunch?”
Esposito shrugged. “I figured since you’ve done this three times, you could help me out here.”
Castle laughed and pulled Esposito into a hug. “Let’s go!” He said, getting out of the cab and running up to the store like an excited child.
Esposito smiled and stepped out behind him.
“So what was with all that stuff at the precinct, then? You looked like you didn’t want to be near Ryan at all.” Castle said, opening the door.
Esposito sighed. “I know. I feel like shit about that. I just… I’m nervous as hell, Castle. I’ve been thinking about this for a while and just decided on getting the ring today and… I can’t think of anything else. What if he says no?”
Castle smiled warmly down at the detective. “‘Zito, I haven’t seen a love like yours since, well, mine and Kate’s. If Ryan says no, I’ll be thoroughly shocked.”
“So, you’ll help with the proposal?”
“Absolutely!”
“Good afternoon, gentlemen.” The nice lady behind the counter said. “What can I help you with today?”
Castle clapped Esposito on the back. “This guy would like to buy an engagement ring.”
The lady smiled. “Of course. Why don’t you start by telling me what your special lady is like.”
Esposito looked at Castle and then back. “Um… it’s a… he.”
The lady’s smile only grew wider, which sent a wave of relief over Esposito because this was another thing he was worried about. Judgement. Which was also another reason why he brought Castle.
“Well, then, let’s look at some of the men’s rings over on this side.” She led them to a couple of display cases on the other side of the store.
“Wow.” Esposito whistled when he saw them. There were some completely covered in diamonds. Definitely not Ryan’s taste.
“So, what is your boyfriend, soon to be fiance, like?” The lady asked.
“Well, he likes simple things. Nothing too flashy.” Esposito said, looking at the rings. “Definitely something silver.”
“Price range?” She asked, reaching down to unlock the case.
“Uh, price isn’t gonna be a problem.” Esposito said.
“It’s not?” Castle asked, raising an eyebrow. Esposito wasn’t what one would call poor, but he was on a cop’s salary.
Esposito shrugged. “I’ve been saving up.”
“For how long?”
Esposito tried to hide his blush. “Not that it’s any of your business, but I’ve been putting aside extra money for three years.”
Castle smiled and then looked at the lady who was pulling the rings out. “That’s how long they’ve been together.” He informed her.
Esposito glared at Castle and then looked down at the rings.
They were all beautiful. In fact, any one of them would look good sitting on Ryan’s finger. Even the gold ones, though Esposito knew silver would look better. He scanned them over.
“I mean, they’re great, but they’re just not…”
“Just not the one. Yes, I understand.” She began putting the rings away. “Anything else you can tell me about him?”
Esposito thought carefully. “I dunno, he’s got blue eyes. He’s Irish. He loves dogs. He plays the piano.”
She thought about it. “Okay, I think I have something here.” She finished putting the rings back and then stepped over to another case, Castle and Esposito following. “These ones are some of my favorites.” She unlocked the case and pulled out a display of rings. Carefully, she plucked one of the rings from the display and held it out for him to look at.
The ring was beautiful. The band was a shiny silver with a celtic knot etched all the way around. The inside of the ring was flat and smooth, perfect for an engraving.
Esposito smiled down at it. It was so simple, but so perfect.
Castle looked over his shoulder.
“What’d’ya think, Castle?” Esposito asked, holding the ring up for him to see it better. “Does it look like Ryan?”
Castle inspected the ring closely, but eventually smiled. “I think he’ll love it.”
~.~.~
“You ready?” Esposito called to Ryan who was still in the bathroom.
Ryan stepped out wearing black dress pants, a pale blue button up that was open at the collar with the sleeves rolled up, a dark gray sweater vest over that, and black oxfords.
Esposito swallowed hard at the sight of him. Three years in and Ryan still took his breath away. Esposito himself had just put on some black dress pants and a dark red button up, which he’d been told he looked great in. But in his opinion, next to Ryan, he looked like a hobo.
“So, where are we going?” Ryan asked as he grabbed his watch from the counter and fastened it around his wrist.
“That’s for me to know, and you to find out.” Esposito said, smiling.
Ryan raised an eyebrow. “Must be pretty special. You told me to dress up. I’m not forgetting an anniversary of something, am I?”
Esposito shook his head. “No, I just…” He took a step toward his partner. “I’ve been an ass lately, kinda have a lot on my mind, and I just wanted to take you out for something special because… I dunno, I’m worried I hurt your feelings the other day when I went out with Castle and...”
“Ignored me?” Ryan gave him a long look. In truth, he had been very hurt by that. But then afterward, Esposito seemed to be almost normal. At least he wasn’t avoiding Ryan like the plague anymore.
“Yeah.” Esposito looked away for a second. “So, consider this my apology.”
Ryan thought about it, then smiled. “Okay. But I’m buying the most expensive steak.”
Esposito laughed. “You can have whatever you want, corazón.” He kissed him on the forehead and then grabbed his hand. “Come on, we’ll be late.”
They stepped out of Ryan’s apartment and, as they left the building, Ryan stopped in his tracks.
“Is that Castle’s Ferrari?”
Esposito smiled and stepped over to the car, opening the passenger door. “He let me borrow it.”
“Really?” He walked over to the shiny red car, smiling wide.
Esposito watched his face light up, and couldn’t help the excitement pool in his stomach. Because, even after three years, Ryan’s smile still made him go all tingly and he was about to ask if he could see that smile every day for the rest of his life.
“Get in.” Esposito said. “We don’t want to be late.”
Ryan sat in the car and Esposito shut the door behind him, running over to the driver’s seat and getting in.
“I get to drive on the way back.” Ryan said.
Esposito nodded. “Deal.”
New York traffic was, well, New York traffic. But, really, when you get to spend time in a fire engine red Ferrari, it didn’t matter so much. Ryan reached over and turned the music up, but before he could pull his hand back, Esposito grasped it and intertwined their fingers.
Ryan smiled over at him.
“What?” Esposito asked, glancing at him and then looking back at the road.
Ryan shrugged. “Nothing.”
Esposito brought Ryan’s hand up to his mouth and gave him a soft kiss on the knuckles.
They pulled into a parking lot that was definitely not the parking lot of a restaurant, and Ryan raised an eyebrow. “Why are we at the beach?” He asked.
Esposito got out of the car and then ran over to Ryan’s side, opening the door for him. “Just go with it.” He said. “I promise it’ll be fun.”
Ryan gave him a look, but decided to trust him.
Esposito grabbed his hand and led him to a blocked off area. Usually, at sunset, the beach would be full of people taking pictures and running around, but a special area had been closed off and was, apparently, for the two of them.
Ryan wondered how much money someone would have to pay to close off a part of the beach, but decided not to mention it. If Castle let them use his car, he probably also used his connections to give them the beach for the night or something.
There was a blanket on the sand and on top of that was a short table, also covered with a blanket, that they could sit around. There were nice pillows all around to make it cozy and candles in bowls to provide light once the sun finally set all the way.
“You know, Javi.” Ryan said slowly. “You didn’t fuck up that bad.”
Esposito chuckled. “Come on.” He led him down to the blanket and the two of them sat.
“Welcome to Castle’s Bistro, can I get you started on some drinks?”
Ryan looked up and was thoroughly surprised. “Castle, what are you doing?” He asked, staring at the man who was wearing a waiter’s uniform, complete with a towel draped over his arm.
Staying in character, Castle smiled. “I’m Rick, and I’ll be your server for tonight. What would you like to drink, Ryan. Or, uh, sir.”
Ryan raised an eyebrow.
Esposito facepalmed.
“Water’s fine.” Ryan said slowly.
Esposito looked up. “Yeah, water’s good. You want some wine, Kevin?”
Ryan shrugged and nodded and Esposito also told Castle to bring them a special bottle. Castle nodded and walked away.
“What’s going on, Javi?” Ryan asked.
“We’re trying to have a romantic evening and Castle forgot his lines.” Esposito said simply.
Ryan hesitated. “I thought you were the one who said you didn’t have a romantic bone in your body.”
Esposito shrugged. “I’m full of surprises.”
Ryan laughed and rolled his eyes. “You kinda went all out with this one.”
Castle came back to their blanket then with two waters and a bottle of wine on a tray. The sand was hard to walk on, but he thankfully made it without spilling anything.
“There’s also supposed to be music.” Esposito said, giving Castle a pointed look.
“Oh, right!” Castle said, turning around and rushing away with the tray of drinks still in his hands.
“No, Castle, you have to leave the-” Esposito sighed. “This is what I get for letting Castle help.”
Ryan was trying not to laugh.
They heard the piano music start and Castle reappeared with their drinks, setting them down on the short table between them.
“Have you made a decision on what you’d like to eat?” Castle asked.
“We have no menus, Castle.” Esposito said.
Castle cursed under his breath and left again.
Ryan gave an amused look to his boyfriend and Esposito sighed. “I’m firing him after this.”
Ryan laughed. “At least he’s trying.”
Castle returned with the two menus and set them down in front of the couple. “I’ll be back to take your orders.”
Ryan looked down at the pretty menu and opened it. The only thing on the menu was “The Ryan Special”, which made “the Ryan” in question look up and raise his eyebrow again.
Esposito tried to hide his face behind the menu. “That… that was Castle’s idea. I know I said you could order whatever you wanted, but...”
“No, it’s alright.” Ryan said. “This entire thing isn’t all Castle’s idea, is it? Because I really wouldn’t put it past him to set up a random romantic date for us.”
“No, I came up with the plan.” Esposito reassured him. “The beach, the wine, the candles. Castle just… added his own touch.”
Ryan set down the menu and took a drink of water. “I still don’t buy that this is random. What are you up to, Javi?”
Esposito shook his head. “I’m not saying anything.”
Castle returned and took their orders, though there really was no reason to since there was only one thing to order. Esposito had made sure everything was ready to go so the food would be correct and everything would be perfect. There was no way he was letting Castle try to prepare them something. This entire night had to go smoothly. Even if Castle created a few bumps in the road.
After taking their orders and walking away, Castle and Beckett came back with two covered trays.
“Beckett?” Ryan asked as she set the food down in front of him. She gave him a smile and pulled Castle away after he stood there too long, apparently wanting to watch everything go down.
The food was amazing, no doubt prepared by a top chef, considering how much money was being put into this night. Esposito seemed to not be too interested in his food as he kept picking at it and only eating a few bites.
“You alright, Javi?” Ryan asked.
Esposito looked up. “Huh? Oh, yeah. I’m not really hungry, that’s all. But it’s really good.”
He seemed to be more interested in the wine, and Ryan suddenly felt the pang of fear in his stomach from the week before. He was on a date, a very romantic date, with Esposito, but suddenly he felt like maybe this all was to butter him up for some terrible news. It couldn’t be to break up with him. Who plans out a whole date for that? So it had to be something else.
Ryan honestly couldn’t think of anything Esposito could do that would make him love him less. But he decided to just wait patiently because, whatever it was that Esposito wanted to tell him, it would come soon enough.
When Ryan had finished and Esposito polished off about half his plate, he set his fork down. “You ready to find out what this is all about?” He asked.
Ryan smiled slightly. “Well, I am very curious.”
Esposito stood and held out his hand for Ryan to take. “Come on.”
They held hands and began the cheesy cliche walk along the beach at sunset. They’d removed their shoes and were just enjoying the feel of the sand between their toes. Esposito still remained silent and Ryan waited, feeling the tension and hoping this wasn’t as bad as it felt.
Esposito cleared his throat. “So, I’ve been thinking.”
Ryan nodded. “Thinking is good.”
Esposito huffed out a laugh. “Listen. We’ve been together for a really long time. Longest relationship I’ve ever had.”
Ryan said nothing. This wasn’t the breakup speech. It sounded like the breakup speech, but it felt nothing like the breakup speech. Who breaks up with someone after a romantic dinner on the beach?
“And, because it’s been so long, I was thinking it’s time for a little change.”
Well, that sent a wave of fear through Ryan’s heart. “What kind of change?” He asked softly.
Esposito stopped walking and Ryan turned to face him. He was digging in his pocket and Ryan suddenly understood before he saw the little black box.
“Oh my god.” He breathed.
Esposito gave a smile and knelt in the sand, opening the box and holding it up. “Kevin,” He said. “I have loved you for a long time. I think I loved you the first moment I set eyes on you, it just took me a while to realize how much. I can’t imagine what I would do without you and the thought of spending every day with you is all I’ve been able to think about. I want to wake up every morning and see you there. I want to make pancakes for you in the morning and I want to order cheap takeout at night when we’re both too tired to cook. I want to take care of you when you’re sick, I want to be there for you when you’ve had a bad day. I want to be your everything, because you’re mine. Kevin Ryan, will you marry me?”
Ryan felt like he couldn’t breathe. He honestly wanted to cry, because this was better than he could have imagined. He hadn’t realized he had a hand to his mouth and was looking terrified until Esposito spoke again.
“Kev?” He asked.
Ryan took a shaky breath and removed his hand from his mouth. “I…” He smiled. “Yes. Yes, of course I’ll marry you, Javi.”
Esposito stood and took Ryan’s face in his hands, kissing him deeply. He pulled away and looked down at the small velvet box in his hands. He lifted the ring from its spot, but before he put it on Ryan’s finger, he tilted it to show the engraving.
“Till the wheels fall off.” Ryan read. He laughed.
Esposito nodded. “I know it’s cheesy and you have my full permission to tease me about it for the rest of my life, but that was the moment I can pinpoint exactly when I fell in love with you.”
Ryan smiled and held out his hand so Esposito could slip the ring on. Esposito kissed the ring on Ryan’s hand and then leaned over to kiss him on the mouth.
They heard cheering from Castle, Beckett, and whoever else had showed up to watch, but they were too wrapped up in each other that they didn’t care. Because from this moment on, nothing else mattered. They had each other. And that was enough.
Roughly what Ryan's ring looks like:
