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Love exists for those who hope for it and for those who needs it. There were many world with different soulmate system yet you live in a peculiar one. A world where birthdays have to be celebrated with your soulmate no matter what. It was really an important occasion, it wasn't just for your birth but it was also telling you and giving you gifts as if to say "Thank you for being born into this world" and "Thank you for existing" or even many more. It was a ceremony to tell you so many things and make you feel loved.
You don't know how you knew but when you met him, maybe it was the way his voice sooth and talks in a flirtatious tone, maybe it was the way he looks at you with those pale yellow eyes, maybe it was his intimidating aura or personality, he draws you to him like a magnet. Everything about him was intoxicating like an expensive perfume, so addictive yet it chokes you and make you tear up.
You woke up to see a certain jester cuddling you from behind you, snuggling closer almost every minute. This makes you crack a smile. Hisoka was barely home since he was always out doing whatever he does with the phantom troupe so it makes you appreciate all the times you have spent with him. Also he was rarely like that so you weren't complaining.
"I have to go somewhere tomorrow and I might take long so don't miss me too much~" he said in a teasing tone yet if you were looking into his eyes it looked sad and sincere as if he was looking at the most beautiful painting in the world. You hummed in reply as his slow breathing lulled you back to sleep.
It was all dark but it wasn't scary. It was as if the darkness was hugging you. It was silent in the apartment you shared with Hisoka, you slowly opened your eyes, not feeling his warmth probably meant he set off on his journey. You observed your surroundings, slowly looking at the dimly lit room, you were once again lonely with yourself to keep company. Maybe it was the fact that he wasn't here but everything seems gloomier. You didn't pay mind to it though. He would eventually come back right..?
You sat up and do what you usually do in the morning, waiting for him every day. Every minutes and seconds seems to be be longer than the times you spend with him. Maybe it really is true that time fly by fast when you are enjoying yourself.
Whatever happens, how long time past, you promised you would wait for him. So you did. Days and months passed by yet he never texted oh if only he knew how tragic his tale ending would be.
After a few months, it was clearly your birthday. You had no idea if he was going to come back or not. You didn't know what to do so you made your way into the grocery store for some cake so you could at least call him and celebrate it together. You did not want to receive a punishment from the system.
But he didn't pick up, or answer any texts when you did. Oh well you thought you could cross the bridge when it comes. You made your way down around the block, walking in your jacket and breathing in the night breeze. It was serene yet cold. You were crossing the road when you saw Hisoka with another woman. They seem like they were flirting and they were also holding hands.
Maybe it was the fact that he never answered your calls and you saw him with another woman. Anyone would let their emotions take over wouldn't it..?
But if only you knew why he left.
But it wasn't his fault after all he only wanted to protect you.
Your heart starts stinging and you felt your tears brimming in the corner of your eyes. It was painful. Of course it is dear, wouldn't it be when you see your one and only soulmate with another person..? After all the effort you put in to wait for them, they didn't contact you. You would feel like your efforts were for vain and that you weren't good enough wouldn't you? But sometimes if a person love someone a little too much, they would put their life and relationship in line to protect them wouldn't they? Because it's natural for you to want your one and only to be happy. Even if you are unhappy.
It's excruciating that you were enraged so you run back to your house, locking your door and never letting anyone in. You never planned to. Yet maybe he saw you and your expression and wanted to explain so he tried to rush back.
Knocking on the door, yet you never answer. Trying to explain, yet taken over by the emotion of betrayal, never listening. It all seems like a noisy and blurry TV statics that you hated. Not being able to make anything out even if you tried to listen. You didn't want to hear more so you screamed as loud as you can. Trying to get everything to shut up. Your breathing hectic and your heart could be heard drumming.
Suddenly everything stopped. The noises stopped and so did the knocking. Making you lean on whatever you can find and started sobbing and choking from the scene itself. Blaming yourself when it's not your fault. But maybe it is yet when the clock hits 12 Cinderalla could no longer be in a beautiful gown yet neither can your sight can be taken back. This was your punishment.
You couldn't see anymore. It made you miss the stars and his face. Yes, thinking about him when you shouldn't have. But this is just how horrible soulmates system are. You closed your eyes and try to open them but all you see was darkness. You felt as if it was embracing you but it wasn't comforting at all.
You whimpered and whined at the shocking change trying to do something about it. What if he leaves again because of your sight??? You turned around and try to claw at the door aggressively, finding the lock to the door maybe trying to let someone in. You heard the door opening and stopping.
Feeling their hands cup your face and stroking your cheeks lightly with their thumb.
"who...", you tried to ask yet they never answer. It was as if they were just an imaginary person that you hoped would come help you. Yet you didn't care, you let yourself be lose to the madness. You let them take care of you and you would talk to them about your experiences in fights and about Hisoka. Yet they stayed silent. Your relationship was like of Eros and Pysche when they were living together in that great place. Sweet and Wholesome yet you did not know who the person was.
You enjoyed their company, their touch and their presence that was so familiar. It was as if you have seen them, maybe in a dream or in your last life. Yet they disappeared away when you got a hang of your blindness. As if they never existed. Like a cold yet gentle breeze of wind that passed by, relieving you after a big storm.
It felt like years, but you were still alone. You thought maybe if you had received your punishment you wouldn't get it again but as time goes on you felt yourself dying. It was painful from time to time but then it subsided as if it never existed.
It really was like the tale of Orpheaus and Eurydice where he had a second chance but lost it as soon as he was close. The opportunity was out of reach and you were gone. Shivering and sobbing yet you could not feel anything. He couldn't comfort you and tell you it was alright so he stayed and watch you with his eyes going dark. Silent as he tried to fight back the urge to grief, it was all his fault after all. He had all the chances yet he did not notice it. Walking pass them, as he did with those weaklings in the fight.
Maybe he could have said something to you before you left.
Maybe he could have told you that it's him when he was taking care of you when you lose your sight.
Yet he couldn't because all he wanted was for you to have a happy life where it wasn't him. A monster beside you. He wanted to be the one that protects you from a far yet he failed to do that. Trying to settle everything with all his arch enemies led to this.
Maybe he could have communicated with you.
Those thoughts were the only thing in his mind as he hugs you, your motionless body against him yet you slightly breath.
He quietly stared, even though it was torturing to see you like this, as your life slowly burns away like a beautiful flower that was lit on fire.