Chapter Text
"So is the operation on or not?" Han Sooyoung demanded, annoyed.
Kim Dokja was too busy peeking into the hotel lounge for his target to immediately respond. "Have a little patience, I'm still scoping out the situation."
"Well, can you hurry up? I want to get a drink from the bar."
Suddenly, he noticed a flash of red in the corner of his vision and turned his head towards it. Sure enough, there she was: Lee Seolhwa still looked as beautiful as ever, her loosely bound hair cascading over the shoulder of her blouse in rich, glossy waves. And seated on the edge of a bar stool a few metres away from her with a glass of water in hand was--
Kim Dokja forced himself to look away. "Marry me," he said to Han Sooyoung.
She raised her eyebrows. "Are you not going to get down on one knee?"
"Do you really want me too?" he asked, gesturing the bustling hotel lobby behind them.
Heaving out a dramatic sigh, Han Sooyoung reached into her pocket and pulled out a small plastic bag. "The things I do for you," she grumbled, sliding the ring out of the bag and onto her fourth finger. It fit perfectly.
Smiling, Kim Dokja slipped on his matching ring.
***
Jung Heewon was Kim Dokja's friend from university, while her soon-to-be husband, Lee Hyunsung, was Yoo Joonghyuk's friend from whoever the fuck knows where.
(Kim Dokja still remembered the day she broke the news to him. He had been having a decently nice day when Jung Heewon turned to him and asked, "Do you know someone called Yoo Joonghyuk?"
After he recovered from his sudden myocardial infarction, Kim Dokja gathered enough strength to confirm that yes, he did know someone called Yoo Joonghyuk. Or rather, he used to.
"He's a friend of the guy I told you about, Lee Hyunsung. We had dinner with Yoo Joonghyuk and his girlfriend last night, and he said he went to school with you."
And that was it.)
Realistically, the chances of Yoo Joonghyuk meeting Jung Heewon in a city of nearly 10 million people should've been infinitesimally small. The two of them went to different universities, worked completely different jobs, and his only direct connection--Kim Dokja--had only befriended her when their relationship had deteriorated to a point where they were basically glorified roommates with benefits.
Yet by some sick and twisted stroke of fate, Jung Heewon had fallen in love with Lee Hyunsung, and now Kim Dokja was attending her wedding with a fake wife so he could pretend he was a well-adjusted and perfectly happy adult in front of his ex-boyfriend.
"You're married," Jung Heewon said flatly.
She was the first one Kim Dokja had chosen to break the news to, as a sort of trial run before facing the final boss. He would have preferred to do this with Han Sooyoung present to corroborate his story, but she had bailed on him at the first mention of Jung Heewon.
"Yes," said Kim Dokja.
"To Han Sooyoung."
"Yes."
" Han Sooyoung, who I purposefully didn't invite to my wedding. And now she's here with you."
"Sorry. I'll make sure she doesn't break anything."
Jung Heewon's unimpressed gaze slid down to his hand, where the fake wedding ring--stainless steel and cubic zirconia, all for the classy price of 20,000 won--underneath the overhead lights. Kim Dokja fought to resist the urge to hide his hand behind his back. It's fine, he assured himself. She can’t tell it costs less than your groceries last week in this lighting.
As expected from someone with her level of artistic taste, Jung Heewon didn't seem to notice that her friend's wedding ring looked like trash. Kim Dokja mentally made a note to leave a good review for the shop once he got back. "Why didn't you tell me you got married?" she asked, the accusation evident in her voice.
"Because it just happened last week, and I knew you were busy with wedding arrangements." Having practised their cover story with Han Sooyoung for three straight hours yesterday, Kim Dokja didn't even need to check the notes on his phone to respond. "Besides, since we eloped, I--"
Jung Heewon raised her voice. "You what?"
"Her parents didn't approve, so we had to marry in secret," he replied with all the prowess of a veteran actor. This, for once, wasn't a lie--Han Sooyoung's parents barely even approved of their friendship, and he could only imagine how they'd react if she ever brought him home as her boyfriend. Fortunately for them, that would never happen. "I'm sorry. I meant to tell you earlier, but I could never find the right time."
In the ensuing silence, Kim Dokja held his breath and mentally braced himself for the questions she would undoubtedly ask: who was the witness, how did it happen, when did they get together, why did they get together, where did their first date take place, how did they split their finances, whose name's on the deed to the house, did they sign a prenup, so on and so forth.
Yet none of the expected questions came out of Jung Heewon's mouth. Instead, she merely pursed her lips and turned away, but not before he caught a glimpse of the complicated expression that flashed across her face. "By the way," she said, "Yoo Joonghyuk did show up, after all."
"...I know. I saw him."
There was a meaningful glint in her eye. "You never did tell me why you two aren't on speaking terms."
"It doesn't particularly matter why," he interjected before he was forced to come up with another blatant lie. There was only so much humiliation a man could take in one day. "But if you're worried, I can assure you we aren't going to make a scene at your wedding."
"It's because you liked Lee Seolhwa, right?"
There was no water in his mouth to spit out in surprise, so Kim Dokja had to settle for making a series of undignified choking sounds as a response.
Jung Heewon crossed her arms across her chest, the smooth fabric of her grey blazer wrinkling at her elbows as she did so. "Judging from your reaction, I got it right."
She was completely wrong, but explaining things would undoubtedly only lead to more accusations of him having terrible taste in men, so he didn't correct her. "Why did you decide on a destination wedding anyway?" he scrambled to ask. "You two don't seem like the type."
Luckily for him, Jung Heewon was gracious enough to let him change the subject. "Lee Hyunsung's mother insisted on paying for it. Given that we're ignoring her opinion on everything else, she can have her big wedding if she wants one. I'm not going to turn down a free vacation."
"Understandable."
Jung Heewon's Maid of Honor came up to them right then with a question about the wedding, and Jung Heewon took a moment to promise her she'd join her in a second. After Yoo Sangah left, Jung Heewon turned to him and said, "Just to let you know, we're meeting in the hotel lobby to go out for lunch at noon tomorrow. That's an order, not an invitation."
Kim Dokja's stomach sank into the dark depths of his despair. "Does the 'we' include Yoo Joonghyuk?"
"That's up to Lee Hyunsung to decide." Jung Heewon finished her drink in one gulp and got to her feet. "You're not going to be a petty asshole and not show up just to avoid him, are you?" she asked, narrowing her eyes at him.
"Of course not," lied Kim Dokja.
"Good, because I know your room number. See you there."
There was no reason to be nervous, Kim Dokja reasoned. After all, this type of situation was exactly why he and Han Sooyoung had come up with their little charade. Besides, if he truly didn't want to see Yoo Joonghyuk again, he wouldn't have shown up two days before the wedding ceremony took place. Three hours of gruelling practice, he reminded himself. Don't let it go to waste.
Kim Dokja stayed in the lounge for another hour or so, greeting the few people he recognized and introducing himself to those he didn't. He would much rather go back to his hotel room to sleep, except the whole point was that he needed to look well-adjusted, not antisocial. Luckily, Yoo Sangah proved to be a great conversationalist, and he made sure to mention his loving marriage with Han Sooyoung to her, in case Jung Heewon ever asked. Speaking of Han Sooyoung, where the hell did she go?
As the hands on the clock moved to a position in the realm of "acceptable time to head back for a well-adjusted, sociable adult", Kim Dokja excused himself and made his way out of the room. It took him a few tries to find the elevators, but no amount of time could have prepared him for the sight of the familiar figure walking in front of him.
Turning around and leaving before he saw him was one option, but that would only push back their first meeting to tomorrow when everyone else would also be present. Maybe it would be better to get a feel of how things were now, so he could decide if he needed to catch a mysterious illness overnight.
Making up his mind, Kim Dokja strode forwards until he was standing next to Yoo Joonghyuk. He cleared his throat. "It's been a while," he said.
Yoo Joonghyuk's arm, which was reaching out to press the elevator button, fell back to his side. A few awkward seconds passed with no response from Yoo Joonghyuk, and Kim Dokja's mind was starting to wander onto thoughts like "did he get into a car accident and lose control of his vocal cords'' and "can he not talk because he just got botox done and he can't move his facial muscles yet" when the man finally spoke up.
"It has."
Kim Dokja chanced a glance to the side and found Yoo Joonghyuk watching him with an unreadable look in his eyes. The air thrummed with tension as they stared at each other, and Kim Dokja mentally catalogued all the small changes to Yoo Joonghyuk's appearance. And then Yoo Joonghyuk looked away, and the moment ended.
"How have you been?"
He regretted the question the moment it came out of his mouth. Hearing Yoo Joonghyuk talk about how amazingly happy he was would be hard to stomach, but the thought of hearing the opposite--that he was unhappy--was somehow even worse.
"Fine," Yoo Joonghyuk answered.
"Where's Lee Seolhwa?" asked Kim Dokja, because he was secretly a masochist. "I thought I saw her in the lounge earlier, did she already head up?"
This time, the look on Yoo Joonghyuk's face was easy to read. Exhaustion. "We divorced."
It was like all of the air had rushed out of his lungs at once. "My condolences," he breathed out. His heartbeat suddenly quickened, and he could hear the thunderous noise of blood pulsing in his ears. "I--"
"Excuse me," a woman standing beside them suddenly said. "Could you press the 'up' button, please? Thank you."
With the slightest air of embarrassment, Yoo Joonghyuk reached out wordlessly and pressed the button.
Lee Seolhwa's friends with Lee Hyunsung, so it makes sense that she's also present, thought Kim Dokja, who was trying his best to suppress his growing smile. Wait, does this mean both of his exes are here right now? As expected of this sunfish.
They didn't speak to each other on the elevator ride up, and it wasn't until they were both stepping out onto the 5th floor when Kim Dokja finally broke the silence. "What's your room number?"
"511."
"I'm 509, looks like we're next to each other."
They exchanged a few more sentences on the way to their rooms, and Kim Dokja was starting to think he had completely misread the situation. Maybe lunch tomorrow was something to look forward to, not something to avoid. "Do you have plans tomorrow afternoon?"
"Why are you asking?" asked Yoo Joonghyuk.
The question was delivered in a neutral voice, and Kim Dokja marvelled at how much Yoo Joonghyuk had matured since their youth; ten years ago, he would have sounded like the aggressively paranoid bastard he was. "If you're free," said Kim Dokja, keeping his voice even, "do you want to do something together afterwards? To catch up." And in case that still wasn't enough, he added, "For old time's sake."
They came to a stop in front of room 509. When Kim Dokja glanced over at Yoo Joonghyuk, he was surprised to see the other man frowning, his dark brows furrowed.
"Do you really think that's a good idea?" asked Yoo Joonghyuk, voice solemn.
It was strange to see that sombre stillness in someone like Yoo Joonghyuk, whose default setting was somewhere between mildly irritated and completely apathetic. Kim Dokja was used to hearing him sound annoyed or unimpressed or mocking, not whatever this was. But then again, it had been four years since they last spoke to each other in person. People changed.
"I see," said Kim Dokja, forcing out a hollow laugh. "You're right, a meeting like that would probably be uncomfortable for you. I shouldn't have assumed."
Yoo Joonghyuk closed his eyes and exhaled in frustration. "That's not what I meant," he said, opening his eyes again. There was a pause, then out of the blue he said, "Congratulations."
"Congratulations for what?" Kim Dokja traced Yoo Joonghyuk's gaze down to his own hand, where the ugly ring he had completely forgotten about glimmered brightly. "Oh." Oh, fuck.
"Is she here with you right now?" Yoo Joonghyuk continued in that same solemn voice.
"It's not what you think," he blurted. I'm not actually married. And if I had known you were also single, I would have never pretended to--
"Kim Dokja!" the distinctive voice of Han Sooyoung called out. Kim Dokja whirled around in surprise and saw her storming down the hallway towards him. "You should tell me if you're going to--" Her eyes narrowed as she sized up Yoo Joonghyuk in a way that made it obvious she was mentally comparing the circumference of his pectorals to Kim Dokja's lavish descriptions. "--go to bed." The annoyance slid off of her face like water sluicing off a plane of glass, and was replaced was a cloyingly sweet smile. "I was looking everywhere for you, husband."
It was like watching a trainwreck happen in slow motion. Kim Dokja tried to step on her toes to get her attention, but she moved the tip of her flats out of the way just in time. Abort mission, he mentally projected at her. Halt the operation.
"Who's this?" Han Sooyoung wasn't looking at him, so she didn't see the look of horror that crossed his face when she wrapped both of her arms around his and pressed herself against his side. "Why don't you introduce us, darling?"
"This isn't necessary," he whispered, trying to discreetly extract his arm from her grasp.
She held on tighter. "Oh, I think it's very necessary. By the way, I'm Han Sooyoung, his wife," she said, flashing Yoo Joonghyuk a vicious grin.
"Yoo Joonghyuk."
"Why don't we go inside for now, Han Sooyoung," Kim Dokja said through gritted teeth, tugging her towards the door. She didn't even budge. "We need to talk."
And because the night couldn't get any worse, Han Sooyoung dove in for the kill. "I've never heard him mention your name before, Yoo Joonghyuk-ssi," she said cheerfully. "Are you one of his coworkers?"
When Kim Dokja looked up, Yoo Joonghyuk's expression had completely closed off. "No," he said curtly, beginning to turn away. "Good night."
"Wait--"
"Good night!" yelled Han Sooyoung. "See you around!"
Yoo Joonghyuk's door slammed shut with a bang.
Han Sooyoung unlatched herself from him and elbowed him in the stomach, smirking. How was that? she mouthed at him.
Still speechless, Kim Dokja unlocked the hotel door and walked inside. After a moment, he heard the door close and footsteps head towards where he was sitting on the edge of the closest double bed. They came to a stop.
"You have shit taste in men," said Han Sooyoung.
Kim Dokja respectfully disagreed, but that wasn't the point. The point was, "Yoo Joonghyuk's divorced."
It took her a second to understand the implication of that statement. "Oh come on," Han Sooyoung groaned. "Are you seriously that horny?" Her gaze roamed his face for answers, and whatever she saw there must have been grim because her lips twisted into a grimace. "You are, aren't you? Ugh."
"I'm not," he said. But the reply came too late to be believable.
"Then go knock on his door right now and tell him the truth," said Han Sooyoung. "That you're so hung up on him you didn't want to show up to the wedding alone when he's happily married, so you paid me to pretend to be your wife."
"I didn't pay you."
"You're going to pay me."
"That's not what we agreed on."
"Anyway," Han Sooyoung said loudly, "you better hurry up and tell him before it's too late. Trust me, the longer you drag this out, the more humiliating it'll get."
"Who said I'm going to tell him anything?" Kim Dokja shot back.
The mattress dipped as Han Sooyoung sat down beside him. "You clearly want to get him back, so why the hell not?"
"It's a matter of pride," said Kim Dokja.
She stared at him. He stared back. Han Sooyoung shuddered and looked away, rubbing her hands up and down her arms to smooth out the goosebumps there. "You have that look on your face that says you're up to something."
"There are two and a half days left," he began, looking thoughtful.
"So?"
"We could stage a break up during that time. Say we're getting divorced."
"You want us to announce we're getting divorced? After being married for one week?" Han Sooyoung's eyebrows shot up to her hairline in disbelief. "So you don't want Yoo Joonghyuk to think you're pathetic for still being stupidly in love with him, but you're okay with him thinking you're a bastard who would dump his newlywed wife at someone else's wedding?"
Well, if she put it that way, it did sound kind of bad. Kind of. "Then we'll come up with a believable reason why."
"I'm not going to pretend to cheat on you," snapped Han Sooyoung.
"I'm not asking you to," Kim Dokja assured her. "We can just pretend we have irreconcilable differences in our personal values."
"Differences like what?"
"We can pretend the pressure from your parents is too much for me to handle," he suggested.
Rolling her eyes, Han Sooyoung laid down and crossed her arms behind her head. "That just makes you both a bastard who would dump his newlywed wife at someone else's wedding and a spineless coward."
"Then we'll say we broke up because I know you only married me since you feel guilty about what I gave up in order to be with you. I know that you would be happier if your parents approved, and," he trailed off, staring at his reflection on the darkened TV screen, "I know that you deserve better."
Han Sooyoung had been idly trailing her fingers through her hair to look at the strands this whole time, but now her movements had stilled. As always, she was a lot more perceptive than she let on. "Hey, Kim Dokja."
"Yes?"
"Aren't you making yourself look too good with that backstory?" she complained, rolling over onto her stomach so she could slap him on the back. "That's some real soap opera level bullshit."
The tension melted out of his shoulders, and Kim Dokja let himself smile. "Your books aren't much better, you know."
"I don't trust your opinion on books." She rolled her eyes. "Going back to what we were talking about, you know that the backstory for our divorce doesn't actually change anything, right?"
"Pardon?"
Han Sooyoung jabbed him in the spine. "Because either way, you're going to have to tell him the truth eventually," she explained in a rare display of patience. "Unless you're planning to pretend you're a divorcee in front of him forever."
"It's not completely impossible to pull off," Kim Dokja argued.
He had to shade his eyes from the intensity of Han Sooyoung's death glare. "Well, I don't want to pretend I'm a divorcee forever. I only agreed to do it in the first place because I'm never going to see any of these people again!"
"That's...very true."
"Also, I'm confused why you're so confident Yoo Joonghyuk will take you back," she ranted, punching the blanket beneath her in frustration. "What if he's still mad you dumped him? Then he'll 1) either think you divorced your wife of one week, which just isn't a good look no matter how you sell it; or 2) know you asked your best friend to fake marry you to spite him. Because trust me, given the right context, it's pretty obvious what you're doing."
Han Sooyoung was right. There was no reason for him to be confident; this was all nothing but a mere fantasy.
"I mean, I'm just bringing up random possibilities," Han Sooyoung suddenly added. She must have noticed the look on his face. "I'm fine with playing along with whatever you come up with, it's not like I know any of these people. I barely even know Jung Heewon."
"No, you're right. There's no point in stressing about something that will never happen," said Kim Dokja. He stood up and held out his hand to her, which she used to pull herself up. "Let's just keep up the act, and I'll explain things to Jung Heewon after the wedding's over. Are you okay with getting lunch with the others tomorrow?"
Han Sooyoung frowned. "I'm okay if you're okay," she said, smoothing her hand through her now ruffled hair.
"Then the operation is still on."
"Mhmm."
A warm breeze wafted through the half-open window, carrying the faint sounds of music and chatter with it. Kim Dokja smoothed his thumb absently over the cool metal of the ring on his other hand.
"Why the fuck did we pretend to be married," grumbled Han Sooyoung.
He laughed.
***
Lovers always promised each other they would stay by their side through good or bad, sickness and health, joy and sorrow. It was supposed to be harder to stay together when things were bad, and it should have been easier once everything got better. And yet, after the rain stopped and the sorrow dissipated, nothing replaced it. It was just empty. They had suffered together for so long that they never learned how to be happy together.
Every time he looked at Yoo Joonghyuk, he saw his own weakness reflected back at him. He was a living reminder of everything he was trying to forget, a remnant of the person he used to be, the person he hated more than anyone else. And to Yoo Joonghyuk, "Kim Dokja" was many things--a certainty, desperation, obligation--but he was never a choice, not when there was no one else. So when they were free and the future was no longer certain, it was hard to convince themselves they still needed each other.
With that in mind, it was only natural to want to leave.
Everything that happened after that was too boring to speak of. They broke up, and then he regretted it, and then it was too late. Sometimes he thought it wasn't fair that he never got to have Yoo Joonghyuk at his best. But then he would remember he was the only person in the world who had seen him at the worst, and it would be enough.
Like trying to hold onto sand, time slipped through his fingers until he was left holding nothing but air.
***
After the second noncommittal reply, Kim Dokja set down his fork and asked, "Who are you looking at?"
Han Sooyoung's gaze snapped back to his face. "No one."
"You can tell me the truth, you know I'm a lot less judgemental than you are," he said encouragingly.
The snide comment didn't go unnoticed, but Han Sooyoung was too busy sneaking glances at a table where a few of Jung Heewon's guests were seated to retaliate. "It doesn't matter," she replied, stabbing her fork into her omelette. "We decided last night we were staying married, remember?"
"Aren't you getting ahead of yourself? You don't even know if she's interested."
"Unlike you, I only have two days to make an impression."
"You could tell them one of your friends wanted to win a bet. Or you could say your friend wanted to," Kim Dokja wracked his brains for a good excuse, "get revenge on an unspecified but definitely evil ex," he finally managed. "Show them how the ring's fake."
He could tell from the deepening crease in her brow that her resolve was wavering. "Sure, but what if she asks Jung Heewon to confirm our sketchy cover story? I know I'd be suspicious."
That was a good point. "I'll go find Jung Heewon after breakfast and tell her truth," he promised. "She didn't look too convinced yesterday anyway."
"But Jung Heewon might tell Yoo Joonghyuk," argued Han Sooyoung.
"Then I'll ask her to keep it a secret." Kim Dokja dropped his chin onto his fist and smiled. "So, who do I need to ask Jung Heewon to introduce you to?"
"I would rather die than ask that woman a favour," Han Sooyoung said reflexively. She sighed. "Do you know who the woman wearing a sky blue blouse is?"
"How light is sky blue?"
"Are you a fucking idiot?" she shot back.
"The sky can take on many shades, how am I supposed to know which one you're referring to?"
"Use your common sense, Kim Dokja."
He used his common sense. There was more than one woman wearing blue at the table, the most elegantly dressed and eye-catching of them being...
"Does she have her hair in a braid?"
"It's not really a braid, but yes, if you insist."
Kim Dokja coughed into his fist to cover his maniacal grin. "That's Yoo Joonghyuk's ex-wife," he said gleefully.
Han Sooyoung's fork slipped out of her slack fingers and clattered onto her plate. "Kim Dokja," she hissed. "If you're lying, I swear I'll--"
"I'm not. She's the one currently looking at her phone, right?"
Han Sooyoung looked like she had been struck by lightning. "That's her?"
"You know, it's quite hypocritical of you to criticise my taste in men when you have the same taste in women as Yoo Joonghyuk himself." Kim Dokja's smile widened even further. "Do you want me to ask him to introduce you?"
"Shut up," snapped Han Sooyoung. "And no I don't, not anymore."
"Why not?"
Han Sooyoung looked offended beyond belief. "I'm not going to date your old love rival!"
"I don't mind, if that's what you're asking," Kim Dokja said mildly. In fact, it’s probably better if you did seduce her.
"You'll have to see her around all the time."
"I don't mind."
"And hear me talk about how great she is."
"Still don't mind."
He had never seen her look so offended before. "This is the woman whose wedding you went to for thirty minutes before you couldn't take it anymore and snuck out the back so you could go home and get so drunk you had to go to the hospital for alcohol poisoning."
"That was a very educational experience," said Kim Dokja.
"You pined after that bastard for ten years, and you think I'm going to date the woman who took him away?"
"Seven, and she didn't take him away. I was the one who broke up with him in the first place," Kim Dokja said calmly. He took another sip of his sparkling water. "Hence why I don't mind."
"Well, I do."
"She's a perfectly nice person."
And that, ultimately, had been what hurt the most. He could have found a selfish peace in resenting her if she had been rude to him, but instead, she looked him in the eyes at the doors to the wedding venue three years ago and nodded, like she knew who he was and why he was there; like she knew and it bothered her but it was alright, she understood--
He didn't leave after only an hour because he was overwhelmed or whatever Han Sooyoung seemed to think; he left because Yoo Joonghyuk shouldn't have invited him and Lee Seolhwa deserved better.
"I don't care if she's a nice person," huffed Han Sooyoung. "As you said before, it's a matter of pride."
"Han Sooyoung. I really don't care."
"It's a matter of pride," she repeated.