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Shinonome Ena sat with her back hunched. The endless, gaping void of their Sekai stretched on forever, in all directions. It was just as Kanade told her: nothing, in all directions. No matter how far you go.
The nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
“Stupid, stupid, stupid… ”
When she awakes each morning she lies motionless in bed, and a heaviness like cinder permeates her limbs. As she moves through the day, it takes extraordinary effort to move; to think; to open her mouth in response to her mother without snapping, though she’s done nothing wrong. At night she looks back and forth between her tablet and her bed and bursts into tears at the thought of touching either.
So she visits the Sekai instead. It’s lonely. Meaningless. It makes her sick. White Miku stands there, a doll devoid of all thought or emotion. Just a useless plaything. She hates this world more than the real one, which by this point she can only barely stomach.
And without speaking, she begins to walk.
Just last week Mizuki and Kanade had discussed this place’s limitless nature. A void stretching on and on. But it doesn’t stop her; it spurs her forward. On, and on, into what she knows will only be more of the same.
It doesn’t take long for her to collapse. Or perhaps it takes an eternity. Perhaps she’s spent her whole life walking. It wouldn’t be a surprise.
Wasting her entire existence, just to traipse through Nightcord’s liminal home.
Perhaps home isn’t the right word. Heart? Soul?
“Empty fucking shithole!”
“What?”
Ena’s eyes open to a familiar shadow cast over her, a familiar voice. She turns, looking up at Mafuyu and makes a face through her tears. The face of a dog, snarling and biting, menacing if not for the fact that it’s leg is caught in a bear trap.
“Of course you’re here. Isn’t it like…” Ena trails off, but Mafuyu finishes for her:
“1am.”
Her hand reaches up, asking for help, but Mafuyu only stares at it. Glaring, Ena stands alone, face flush now with humiliation.
“Why’d you walk up to me if you’re only going to stand there with that look on your face? The show’s over.”
Mafuyu blinks.
“Do you dislike me that much?”
Something about the way she says it, like she doesn’t even care about the answer either way— Ena’s fists ball together.
“Oh, you noticed?”
With each passing day, the condition worsened. When Mafuyu was on call, Ena made up excuses to leave; if she saw her there already, Ena ignored it altogether. Whenever they performed, Ena just watched in seething anger, staring at Mafuyu no matter what she sang with something, something boiling inside her.
“When you look at me, I see something in your eyes.” Mafuyu stated this as if it were obvious,
“Not pity or admiration. It's…”
“Hatred.” Ena clarified this fact through gritted teeth; the fact of the matter,
“I despise you.”
Mafuyu Asahina, golden girl, blessed with every golden ticket of talent the world had to offer. Yet she didn’t care for it. For anything. The attention, the praise, the people who bend over backwards every day-
Mafuyu just stood there, looking at her, even as fresh tears welled up in Ena’s eyes.
“Did you hear me!” She hadn’t meant to shout, but she doesn’t stop, either:
“I said I hate you! I’m your friend! I thought- I thought I was your friend! But I’m saying that I hate you!” She gestures, as if that will make her understand,
“Doesn’t that make you feel anything? Don’t you care at all?”
Mafuyu’s brows furrow. Did she care at all…? Did she…
“I’m not sure.”
And it was true. The truth of the matter was sickening. Something boiling inside Ena reaches the edge. Her mind is foggy with it, thoughts clouded with this something that makes her grab Mafuyu’s neck and squeeze.
“How does this make you feel?” She digs her nails in.
Mafuyu’s eyes well with tears, mouth struggling open. Ena let’s up, desperately, leaning in to hear her response.
It’s quiet, that perfect melodic voice hoarse and damaged:
“Why, Ena?”
Why, Ena?
“Why, Ena?”
It’s year three. Her best friend is in tears, on the ground collecting what remains of her art project- her art project that was so good the teacher said he wanted to display it. Ena’s own eyes blurred. She looked down at her hands. Why?
She looked down at her hands. Why?
“Because I’m nothing.” She said at last. Her legs were weak, too weak to hold her weight. Mafuyu let her fall, staring down at her.
“I’m less than a doll, Mafuyu, I’m nothing. Completely worthless. All I want- all I want is to be- to be-” Ena clutches her hair, words dissolving. Mafuyu sits down in front of Ena. She wraps her arms around her. Ena clutches the back of her shirt, clinging to Mafuyu like a child to its mother.
“Why? Why are you doing this?”
“I just wanted to.”
Ena buries her face in her shoulder.
“It’s not fair… it’s not fair that even now you get to be the one who’s better than me…”
But she doesn’t let her pull away. Neither will release the other.
In the void of Nightcord’s heart, they sat there, hunched together, not as girls or as people, but as two failing cogs.