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It's the quiet nights when her mind is the loudest, Ei finds.
The cold air of her too large room bites at her skin despite being beneath the covers and the warm body nestled in her arms. Inazuma had changed so much in the centuries she was gone. In her foolish attempt at eternity, she lost sight of her goal. Her eternity had lost its meaning. Her nation, her home had almost been torn asunder by her own hands as she tried so desperately to keep the frayed edges together.
She had been so, so close to destroying the very thing she swore to protect. They would have never forgiven her.
Sasayuri. Saiguu. Chiyo. Makoto.
It was in her hands to bring them eternity but instead she stained them with blood. Ei feels the weight of loss as the voices in her head grow to crescendo. It's nights like this where she feels the furthest from being a god.
A soft snore at her side breaks through the noise.
Miko.
A kitsune's majesty is one that is unchanging and her love is no exception. In fact, Ei would go as far as to label her the definition. She is a vision as the moonlight trickles into the room and onto her sleeping figure. The sight of her, stripped of her robes with her pale skin set aglow and wispy hair framing her face, has Ei utterly besotted. Miko in her sleep is soft, angelic almost, void of the penchant for mischief that trails her every move when she's awake.
Ei nuzzles the head of petal pink hair laying on her chest, lips curling into a brief smile at the twitch of her companion's fox ears. Miko mumbles unintelligibly before tightening her hold on Ei's waist, settling with a hum and an unconscious press of lips to the hollow of Ei's neck.
And Ei all but melts.
Oh, how had she hoped to spend eternity without this?
Ei is so far gone for this woman that she wants to worship her instead. Her own godhood be damned.
But is it truly blasphemy when the only person Ei would be insulting is herself?
"Dearest?" Miko murmurs, eyes half-open but still focused as they gaze up at Ei.
"Hmm?"
"Your thoughts are far too loud. I adore you but I can hear them in my sleep."
Of course Miko would notice. She always noticed.
"It's nothing," Ei responds, not truly believing the answer herself.
Miko frowns, flicking Ei on the forehead before placing a hand on her cheek, thumb moving in gentle circles. "I recall the last time you said that leading to your five century long disappearance to the Plane of Euthymia."
Ei sighs, taking a hold of Miko's wrist to kiss her palm. "Well, I suppose I deserved that."
"You deserve far more of my ire for not even saying goodbye," says Miko half-teasing but with enough bite for Ei to know she means it.
As a warrior, Ei is used to steeling herself to feel no remorse. It's an occupational habit. One can never step foot on a battlefield with weak resolve. There is no time to be soft when facing the enemy. Softness can leave you for dead.
But Miko isn't the enemy. Not to eternity. Not to Ei. Celestia above, she never was. Even when the days of Ei's stubborn youth left her blind to it.
"I...I never truly apologized, did I? For leaving Inazuma. For leaving you," Ei says, eyes downcast.
Miko had every right to hate her and yet here she was. Letting Ei hold her in her arms as if the centuries that had passed between them - that had passed without the easy comfort of each other - meant nothing.
"You didn't need to," Miko answers, lifting Ei's chin so that they were once again face to face.
"But-!"
A finger on Ei's lips cuts short any chance of response.
"When I found out you left I wanted to scream at you until my voice went hoarse. Curse you to the ends of eternity for leaving me all alone. Question whether you ever truly loved me at all."
Ei winces at every word that leaves Miko's mouth. Harsh as they may be, Ei knows she deserves all of them and more.
"But then I saw you again. The person I yearned to see all those years was standing right in front of me and I couldn't stand the thought of our reunion being so bitter. So, unlike the many things over the centuries I recall with perfect clarity, the person I was without you...the feelings I felt in your absence. I chose to forget them all."
Ei feels the familiar sting of tears gathering in the corners of her eyes.
"Miko..."
"So, no, Ei. I don't need an apology. I only need you," says Miko, the soft smile on her face far from her usual teasing smirk.
"You have me," Ei pledges in dark. The night their only witness as she breathes promises onto Miko's skin, placing gentle kisses wherever she can reach.
"I know," Miko whispers, gaze softening even more as she tugs Ei down to lay a kiss on her cheek.
She traces the contours of Miko's face in reverence, pausing to brush a thumb against her lips before kissing her soundly. It's hard to put a number on how long they spend tangled up in each other. Especially when Ei's mind is clouded by the scent of cherry blossoms and the feeling of having Miko pressed up so close to her. She slides a hand down Miko's smooth back, stopping to stroke the velvety pink fur of her swishing tail.
Miko breaks the kiss with a squeak, face flushed and eyes electric. "That was unfair."
Ei smirks, nipping at Miko's exposed collarbone. "Since when have you cared about fairness, my lovely fox?"
It's rare enough for Miko to be flustered but it's even rarer for Ei to be the intentional cause of it. She tends to go in blind in her attempts at flirtation so Ei is more than ready to make the most of this particular turn of events. But just as she kisses her way up Miko's neck, a swat of a pink tail against her face stops her in her tracks and a hand on her chest makes sure her only path of movement is to lay back obediently against the sheets.
Ei looks up to see Miko straddling her, a smug grin etched on her face as she drops a playful kiss onto Ei's nose.
"Since you were under the impression that you were in charge here," Miko teases, lightly raking her nails down Ei's sides.
"Oh? So the rules of fairness only apply when they're in your favor?" says Ei, deciding to play right into Miko's hand.
"What a forgetful god you are! I've taught you this many times before," chides Miko with a click of her tongue.
Ei reaches to grab hold of her hips, steadying Miko on top of her.
"I suppose you need to give me a refresher course, my dear Miko."
Miko grins as her tail wags behind her. "Gladly! Though I'm afraid you might have to put your quest for eternity on hold for a moment."
Ei hums thoughtfully before answering with all the sincerity she could muster.
"Miko, eternity is however long I have by your side."
Alas, she doesn't foresee her admission being met by Miko's raucous laughter.
"My, Ei! Five hundred years of isolation certainly made you a charmer," says Miko between her giggles.
Ei rolls her eyes in unconcealed fondness, choosing to ignore how her very serious answer was used as a jab at her poor social skills in favor of admiring just how beautiful Miko looks while laughing.
"It wouldn't hurt for you to be impressed," says Ei with a pout.
"Oh, darling, I'm certainly impressed, but is it wishful thinking to hope you've also fixed your atrocious cooking skills while you were away?"
"Miko," Ei whines.
"I jest, dear. I love you, horrible cooking and all."
"And I love you, you absolute menace of a woman."
Miko leans down, pressing Ei further into the sheets of their bed. "Hush now. Let me hold you."
And within the sweet embrace of her love, does Ei find peace. She could brave an eternity of quiet nights with Miko by her side.