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"okay... Okay... Okay come on Alex. You're a S tier level Villian. You can do anything." Alex's eyes fall down the the floor.
"I want my mommy!!!" A small child cried.
"I can't do this- I can't do this-"
Morgan follows and anxious Alex through their layer. "So, are you going to let me know what has gotten the all powerful Alexander so rattled?" He laughs, the phone call he'd received a few moments before was frantic and Morgan was sure he could hear Alex shushing something.
"First, that's not my name. Secondly, it's... This" Alex opens the door and a dramatic way only they could pull off without looking like a fool.
Inside was a child, surrounded by toys and snacks but not touching any of them. Instead, he was sobbing on the floor, snot and drool flowing down his face.
Morgan stared at the kid for a while, before turning to Alex.
"Man, I love you. You're my best friend, you know that, right?"
"Yes. That's why I called you-"
"Then you understand how I am not dealing with this. Thanks, see ya!" Morgan turns around but Alex grabs him, their arms around Morgan's waist and swinging him to face the child with embarrassing ease. "For better or for worse dear husband."
"I hate you. I'm getting a divorce" Morgan shrugs Alex off.
"Are you going to hide that in a stack of other documents too?" Alex teases.
"You know what fuc-" Morgan stopped, looking over to the kid who had stopped crying as was staring at them.
Morgan leaned back, "What's he doing?"
"I don't know... That's why I called you."
"Do I look like the dad type to you?"
Alex didn't say anything for a moment, "... I mean... Kinda?"
Slowly, Morgan approached the kid kneading to his height, "Hey, what's your name... Buddy..?"
The kid sniffled, "my name isn't buddy..."
Morgan galced back at Alex who was keeping their distance, "okay... So what is your name?"
The kid crossed his little arms, "mommy told me to never tell my name to strangers"
Morgan sighs, "Okay, well I'm Morgan. They're Alex."
Morgan points and Alex does a small awkward wave. The kid uncrossed his arms, waving back. "So, do we get to know your name now?"
The little one shook his head, "No. I just want mommy"
"I know, I know kid. Come here" Morgan swept the kid up and hugged him and surprisingly the kid hugged him back, gently crying into his shoulder.
Morgan got up, bouncing the kid gently for a few minutes until he drifted off into snotty sleep.
"Where did you even get a kid, Alex?" Morgan whispered sharply praying to a god he didn't believe in so he wouldn't wake up.
"I don't know. I was fighting the heroes. Next thing I know, this little... Thing was about to get blasted off the face of the earth. I had to save him, I'm a villian not a monster."
Morgan eyes them worryingly, "So you're saying this was in the middle of a battlefield. Do you know what that means?"
"... He's a spy..?"
Morgan kneed them, the only limb he could spare. "It means his parents could be..." He glanced to the sleeping kid on his shoulder, "D A E D..."
A moment of silence passed over the two, "Morgan... Your dyslexic- ow!" They rub their shin as they get kneed once more.
"You know what I mean. Which... We're going to be dad's.... I am not ready for a child Alex-"
Alex laughs, "It's okay, we just need to look after the kid for a day. I'll call some people, they'll track someone down for the little brat and then we're free. Until then, you're the mommy." Alex grins, but they're met with a stern glare.
"Fine... I'm mommy."
His frown flips and turns into a grin. "Or we could both be Daddy" he laughs but the kid stirs so he starts to walk around to calm him again. Alex just watches, finding odd joy in this makeshift domestic moment.
Sometime later, the little boy was colouring on the floor while the two villians watched. "We can't just keep calling it 'kid'" Alex whispers.
"Firstly, he, not it. He's a little person like you or I was once not too long ago."
"How do you know I'm not centurys old?"
"You're not."
Alex sighed, "I'm not..."
"So, what do you want to call him. He won't give us a name so maybe we should just give him a new one."
"I've never named a person before though..."
"Alex, you name all of your plants. It's not that different."
They watch the kid colour away for a while. He was really cute. Morgan had wiped up his face from crying and changed him into some Arachnid Guy PJs. He must be only 4 or 5 years old.
"What about Parker, like Arachnid Guys civy name." Alex suggests.
"You know that guy's real name? And it's Parker?"
"Yep, Parker Peterson."
"Damn... Sure..."
"Hey Parker, that's you until we get your name little buddy. What ya drawing?" Morgan goes over, sitting with the kid.
Parker shuffles the paper over, it was scibbles of like vaguely representing some four legged animal. "What a wonderful... Puppy..."
"Thanks, mommy saided I would become the divinky one day in when I'm older"
Morgan smiles, "well with skills like that you definitely will. Is drawing your favourite?"
Parker shakes his head, "my finger painting is the most funnest"
"Okay, Alex," Morgan beckons them over, who cautiously approached, "make some paint."
Pulling their hand down in the air, paint appeared, "here you go..."
Parker watched in awe, little lights shining in his little eyes as the paint magically appeared. He gave out an excited squeel, snatching up the bottles and splattering the contents all over his tiny fingers.