Work Text:
It had been a long day on the road. I had never been on a journey this far from home, so I was sort of enjoying myself, but I missed home and was tired and aching. We had just finished our dinner, a delicious stew prepared by Bomber, and some of the men were lighting their pipes. Thorin was looking particularly frustrated this evening. I knew that he needed something to take his mind off the whole “Erebor” thing, so I leaned to Bofur and said “I think we need a song.” With that he lit up and went to Fili and Kili who got out their fiddles, then to Ori, Dori and Nori who got out their flutes. Before he even got to Bomber he already had his drum out, and Bifur got out his clarinet. I just sat, watching.
He stood in front of the group and said, “Alright lads, just like we practiced.” Thorin turned around and looked quite surprised to see everyone with their instruments. They started and Bofur began:
I’m malicious, mean and scary
Thorin rolls his eyes and sits on the log beside me.
My sneer could curdle dairy, and violence wise, my hands are not the cleanest.
But despite my evil look
And my temper, and my hook
He held up his hand, shrugged and smiled. I giggled, and looked at Thorin, who had his arms crossed, and was looking rather annoyed.
I’ve always wanted to be a concert pianist.
He plopped himself down between Thorin and I. I heard him scoff and I just smiled. He then proceeded to act like he was playing the piano.
Can'tcha see me on the stage performing' Mozart?
Tickling the ivories 'til they gleam?
He leaned into my shoulder,
Yep, I'd rather be called deadly
For my killer show-tune medley
Then he stood, turned to us, and bowed and said “Thank you!” I applauded, Thorin just moved closer to me. Closing the space, so Bofur couldn’t sit back down.
‘Cause way down deep inside I’ve got a dream.
Then we all joined in.
He’s got a dream!
He’s got a dream!
Then he looks at me and shrugs.
See, I ain't as cruel and vicious as I seem!
Then he sits beside me.
Though I do like breaking femurs
You can count me with the dreamers
Like everybody else
I've got a dream!
I laughed and started clapping. Then Dwalin, who had been smiling and clapping along the whole time, stood and started singing. Much to Thorin and my surprise.
I've got scars and lumps and bruises
Plus something here that oozes
And let's not even mention my complexion
But despite my extra toes
And my goiter, and my nose
He then pushes Bofur off the log, sits beside me, and puts his arm around me.
I really want to make a love connection
Can't you see me with a special little lady
Rowin' in a rowboat down the stream?
Though I'm one disgusting blighter
I'm a lover, not a fighter --
'Cause way down deep inside
I've got a dream
I've got a dream!
Then we joined in:
He’s got a Dream!
I’ve got a dream
He’s got a dream
And I know one day romance will reign supreme!
Though my face leaves people screaming
There's a child behind it, dreaming --
Like everybody else
I've got a dream
He stood and helped Bofur up then they went around to the other dwarves, taking turns singing:
Ori would like to quit and be a florist
Fili does interior design (he looked up at Dwalin, smiling)
Oin in into mime (He looks almost offended)
Bombur’s cupcakes are sublime (He smiles and nods)
Bifur knits
Nori sews
Gloin does little puppet shoes
And Kili collets ceramic unicorns! (he winks)
Then they look at Thorin, who looks at me then stands and starts singing:
I have dreams like you, no really!
Just much less touchy-feely
They mainly happen somewhere dank and gloomy
In a mountain that I own
Crowned and rested and alone
Surrounded by enormous piles of money
He holds out his hand and I take it and stand beside him
I’ve got a dream
Then the others sing with me:
She’s got a dream!
I’ve got a dream!
She’s got a dream!
I just want to see the dwarvish gold gleam
And with every passing hour, i’m so glad I left my Shire!
Like all you lovely dwarves I’ve got a dream!
We all gather together and put our arms around each other, Thorin smiles at me.
We’ve got a dream! We’ve got a dream!
So our differences ain't really that extreme!
Bofur: Call us Brutal
Balin: Sick
Dwalin: Sadistic
Thorin: And grotesquely optimistic (with a smile to me)
Then all of us belt out the final lines.
‘Cause way down deep inside we’ve got a dream!!!!!
We all sit back down, and Thorin takes out his pipe and smiles at me. “Thanks for that,” he says and nudges my side. I smile, “Any time, Thorin, any time.”