Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chapter 1

(Sora)

Sora had never expected to make it home.

When he dove after Kairi, he knew what he was doing. He knew that he’d disappear entirely. He knew these things, but it didn’t matter.

He had dived in once before—when everyone died. All of them, even him. He refused to give up, wanted to get everyone back—and he did.

But none of them knew that they had died, none except him. None of them knew that he had changed things, and that going in after Kairi was the last thing he thought he’d ever be able to change. Because they were all just so much more important than he was. All of them, especially Kairi.

Sora hadn’t expected to ever make it home. Maybe at first, he held onto some hope, but it felt like so long—it felt like he had been there forever. Surely it was too long—surely they were gone, or had given up. Surely he would never make it back. So, he stopped trying. Just kept walking, on and on, forever.

When Rage showed up and saved him, he had been shocked—not that Rage was the one to save him, yet again, like always, but rather that Roxas and Xion were with him. Still as Sora had last seen them. They were still there? They were still there?!?

In that moment, and only in that moment, had his hope returned. Because maybe it hadn’t been as long as it felt. Maybe his friends were still waiting on him. He had given up long ago—or, what felt like long ago. Maybe that’s what Yozora was meant to do—what Yozora meant when he said he was going to save him. Yozora didn’t know that Rage would be separated.

Yozora simply reminded Sora that there was hope out there that there might be some way home.

That his friends were surely looking for him endlessly. That maybe it hadn’t been too long. Maybe it wasn’t too late.

Maybe…maybe he could make it back to his friends, that he had given up on seeing so long ago. Even if he made it back, he had been resigned for them to all be long gone.

But then he came back. Thanks to Rage—the part of him who refused to give up, even when he had.

He came back, and everyone was fine. Everyone talked about how long it had been, complained about it even…

They didn’t know that for him, it had been so much longer. That he had given up. That…

That he didn’t think he would ever make it back.

(Rage)

Cold. Cold. Dark.

Failed. He had failed. He’d never lost before.

“Sora. No. Sora. No. Sora, I failed,” he cried out into nothing. Yozora had won, and now Sora was frozen—Rage wasn’t with Sora, not like usual. Cold. Cold. Dark. Alone.

Failed. He had failed.

He had failed to get them home.

Rage woke up with a start. His body felt heavy—having a body at all was terribly fatiguing. He was wondering if it was worth it at some moments, but he wasn’t sure he was ready to judge. It certainly wasn’t something that could be undone, and he would never voice a complaint to Sora after he had worked so hard to find a way to bring him into this realm.

Sora…Rage felt a bit like a burden to him. Though the three friends that lived on the islands had welcomed him with open arms (though cautiously on Riku and Kairi’s end), they themselves were struggling to adjust. Sora had been missing for nearly two years—Riku and Kairi away and searching for him for a year of that. Their homes were…well, still there physically. Rage couldn’t say he understood fully what they were going through, but they all were stressed and tended to avoid their families and the other islanders most of the time. Barely adults, they had gotten a place separate from their old homes thanks to Kairi’s mother’s beach house. And Rage was a stranger to everyone

After a long moment, he sat up on the side of the bed, trying to ground himself in this body. Breathe. He had to breathe now. It was exhausting to even exist—to do human things like sleep, eat, breathe…go through a daily routine…

Yeah. He wasn’t so sure that wanting to come back was the right decision, but…it was the choice he had made, after all. He couldn’t go back on it now.

He stood up and put on some clothes and made his way into the living room—he was the first awake. Being awake on its own was exhausting. He hadn’t been present for long periods of time before. But…well…

He wasn’t going to tell Sora any of this stuff. Sora worked way too hard to get him this body. He should appreciate it. At least Sora, Riku, and Kairi all seemed patient with Rage’s quirks, understanding that he had never been a physical being before, but…he did feel like a burden to them. Still, them tolerating him laying upside down on couches, standing in funny ways, and twitching as much as he did…they were so kind.

Even…Even Teal-Eyes. Riku. Even Riku was kind. Not…

Not the Bad Teal-Eyes that he still had nightmares of, who wanted to control him. He was kind…not Bad Teal-Eyes anymore. Kairi, he had expected kindness from, but…it was hard to believe how much Riku had changed.

Rage never wandered far from the house, but he did often step out on the porch that faced the sunrise, lying with his head over the edge of the wooden deck and watching the sky begin to light up. He headed out to do so.

He lay on the ground and watched. He had to remember to blink, but he knew when to keep his eyes open—the exact moment that the sky began to change from near-black to a faint purple before everything ignited into daylight.

Rage had decided to be a part of this world without knowing much about it, and he questioned it often when he first woke—but seeing the sunrise always changed his mind. Seeing something so beautiful with his own eyes…even the stars and the moon couldn’t compare to those brief moments where daylight began. His own pair of eyes…

His own eyes that still were bright red with a slight glow in the right lighting, but that was part of what made him who he was.

Making his own memories—those memories of Castle Oblivion that only he held had made him decide he was himself but didn’t mean much to him now. They had made the decision, but they weren’t him. That was why he hadn’t even cared to meet Naminé—he held more resentment toward her than anything positive, so why bother her with that?

Most days, Riku would come out before the sun rose and watch it rise with him. Rage wasn’t sure why, and he’d never asked, but he didn’t mind the company. He wasn’t afraid of Riku any longer, nor angry. His presence was a comfort more than a burden these days.

And like so many days, Rage heard the door creak open, and Riku’s familiar footsteps step out onto the porch. Riku came over and sat next to him. “Morning,” he said as usual.

“Not quite,” Rage replied, as usual, without looking at Riku. Somehow, that still got a snort of amusement from Riku. That was really the only reason Rage kept saying it. But he’d never seen Riku’s expression when he said it, because he didn’t want to miss the moment.

“Not yet, huh?”

“No.”

Rage could smell coffee with a hint of spice—Riku must’ve preset the coffee maker to have it that quickly. Did he plan on getting up to see the sunrise today? A bit odd, but Rage didn’t mind.

In an instant, the faintest purple began to fade in. “Now it’s morning,” Rage said, still watching.

“You really can tell exactly when the sun starts to rise, huh?” Riku said as the purple edges turned pink and rose higher.

“Guess so.” Rage didn’t look at Riku yet—a few more minutes before he would, when the blue started to seep in and the sun itself would make its appearance.

“I would’ve offered you some coffee, but—”

“Jittery enough as is,” Rage finished his sentence.

A few more moments passed before blue slowly started to leak into the edges of pink, and Rage sat up. Riku didn’t look away from the sky, but Rage took the time to flip over to see the sky from the same perspective.

“You know…” Riku broke the silence in an unusual way. Rage looked over and tilted his head. “It’s nice to have someone to watch the sunrise with.”

“Why not Sora and Kairi?”

“They don’t get up this early, and really…back when we were safe, we never watched the sunrise. Lots of sunsets, but not the sunrise.”

“Hmm.” Rage wasn’t sure how to respond to that, so he just looked back at the sky, shrugged and stretched. As always, after the sun rose, dreariness was gone, and he was happy to be here. His body still felt a little heavy, and things were still a little too ‘there’, but it was bearable.

“I still have yet to capture that exact moment you say it’s morning, though.”

“It’s not obvious. Very faint.” Rage sighed happily.

Riku let out a shaky sigh. Rage looked back over at him curiously. Riku was watching him but looked relieved for some reason.

Rage tilted his head slightly as Riku looked away—he was sure that it was less than a second that he caught Riku watching, but he still ran a lot on that ‘fight or flight’ mechanism of detail. It seemed that he experienced things…slower than the others, too. So, he decided best not to ask questions on something he shouldn’t have noticed—but he had.

Instead, he commented, “Sunrises are good.”

“They are, aren’t they?” Riku’s voice changed to contentment.

“Never the same.”

“Right.”

Rage watched for a little longer before he felt eyes on him again. He looked over at saw Riku watching him once more, this time not looking away too fast for Rage to point out. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing—” Rage tilted his head. Riku sighed. “When did you forgive me?”

“…?” Rage was confused for a moment because he wasn’t sure. “Dunno,” he responded honestly. “I have though.”

Riku sighed and shook his head, eyes closed and a slight smile on his lips. “Thank you. You of all people had every right never to.”

“You’re different.” Rage held a hand in front of him, grasping one of the red gems that surrounded him that only he could see unless he held one—grasping them once in a while was more habit than anything. “Not the same as who made me. You’ve grown. Changed. Not the same person.” Rage examined the gem for a long moment. He wasn’t going to say that no more than an hour before he had relived the nightmare of that time. It wasn’t prudent to anything to say so, because…he didn’t really feel that fear or anger. Those were things of the past.

“I’m just…glad you seem happy.”

Rage let go of the gem and looked back over at Riku curiously. “Things are nice—like sunrises. And you’re right that it’s nice to have someone to watch the sunrise with.”

Rage and Riku had a bit of an ambiguous friendship, an odd one at that, but…Rage was happy to have that instead of all that anger for which he was named.

Riku smiled and gave a quick nod.

And the two friends watched the sky just a little bit longer. True daytime had yet to begin, and it could wait.

(Riku)

Sora and Kairi were in the kitchen chatting when Riku went inside—Rage liked to stay out a bit longer to get some sunlight onto his skin, something he preferred to do alone. Sunrises, though, they liked to share. Somehow, Riku felt that only Rage realized how close they came to the sun never rising again.

“Good morning!” Sora said with a grin—it was so nice to see that smile for real again.

“Morning,” Riku said with a smile of his own.

Kairi paused, carrying two coffee cups—one for herself and one for Sora. “Had to fix a second pot, you fixed yours so early.” There was a knowing tone in her voice. “And I heard your alarm go off. Are you actively planning to get up and watch sunrises with Rage now?”

“Err…” Riku rubbed the back of his head, unsure how to respond.

“I’m glad you two seem to be friends,” Sora said with a nod, clearly shrugging off whatever direction Kairi was aiming that accusation to a lighter tone.

“For some reason, he’s forgiven me,” Riku said.

“What do you mean, ‘for some reason’?” Sora teased.

Riku laughed nervously in response and looked away. He knew that Sora didn’t know how weighty the thing to forgive was—probably thinking that Rage was just a manifestation of the same things Sora felt and nothing more…not knowing that Riku himself had brought him to be.

The laugh didn’t go unnoticed by Sora, who looked concerned. “You’re really surprised that he did?” Sora asked more seriously.

“Yeah. I really am. I mean, I figured it out quite a while ago that he did—otherwise I wouldn’t bother him, you know?” Riku sighed and closed his eyes. “Still, I don’t know if I’d forgive me if I was in his place.”

“Still sticking by saying that you aren’t going to tell me what’s up with that unless Rage decides to tell me first?” Sora asked.

Riku nodded. Kairi leaned forward at the table. “It’s bothering you too, Riku. Maybe you should talk to us.”

“It’s not mine to tell,” Riku said simply.

“All right…” Sora said, still worried.

Riku had thought that once Sora was back, everything would be about Sora from then on—at least for a long time, if not forever.

 But…Instead, here he was, making time to watch the sunrise with Rage…he felt a bit guilty for that, actually; but…he wouldn’t trade a moment of time with Rage for one with anyone else. And it wasn’t just out of guilt or feeling like he should. Rage was legitimately a different person than Sora, as much as Roxas was, and he was someone Riku wanted to be friends with.

Rage came into the kitchen, walked past them all and opened the fridge. He stared at it for a moment before closing the door, not having taken anything out of it.

“Are you hungry?” Sora asked him.

“Dunno.”

“Well, it is breakfast time, so…” Sora grinned. “I’ll fix something for all of us!”

“Sora? Cooking?” Kairi asked with a laugh.

“Have I really not cooked anything for you guys since I’ve been back?” Sora asked.

“You haven’t. I didn’t know you could.”

“Yeah. I learned back when we were preparing to fight Xehanort, before—” Sora stopped, and his expression fell. There was a brief silence before he shook his head. “Anyway. I’ll fix something.”

“…’ll help.” Rage muttered.

“Sure! You can help,” Sora said to him with a grin. He looked at Riku and Kairi. That grin always seemed so real, but somehow Riku was sure it…it wasn’t.

But Riku smiled back. Kairi stood up. “Hey, Riku—let’s go into the living room so we’re out of the way.”

“Right.” Riku stood up too, though unsure…but, if Rage was there, Sora was safe.

(Rage)

Sora sighed as soon as they were out of the room, his face falling. “Thanks, Rage.” Rage nodded. “Sometimes it just—” Sora shook his head. “Sometimes it just feels kind of empty without everyone, you know? But…at least you’re right here.”

“…know.” Rage sighed and walked back to the fridge, pulling out a carton of eggs.

“You’re…you’re still a part of me, aren’t you? More than Roxas and Xion.”

“…think so. But that’s okay, isn’t it?” Rage put the eggs on the counter as Sora headed to grab a bowl.

“You know…I think it is.” Sora smiled slightly.

“Sora?”

“Huh?”

“…nks for not pretending to be okay when it’s just you and me.”

Sora sighed. “I am okay though—”

“Sure.” Rage shrugged. He wasn’t going to argue. Saying he was okay—that was how Sora coped. Not healthy, but…

“What about you? You’re still having trouble adjusting.”

“…’ll be fine. Just…strange.”

Sora nodded. “Yeah…” He grabbed a pan—Rage knew that he was basically just another set of hands in these cases, but that was okay. “But…I’m glad you’re here, so I can get to know you. Because…you’re part of me, but you’re not.”

“…’m both.”

“Yeah.”

“…en Riku brought me into what I am now, back in Neverland…became separate. But then I became part of you again…’m literally your shadow. Always have been.”

Sora nodded but glanced down at where the light should be shaded by his hands—neither of them had a shadow anymore. Rage didn’t know if Riku or Kairi had noticed—probably better if they didn’t. “So…you’re who I fought in Neverland?”

Rage nodded. “Yeah. Then I went back to you.”

“Is it really that simple? What’s bothering Riku is just that…he brought you to be?”

Rage paused. “Not simple.”

“Will you tell me…?”

Rage paused. “…was bad then—near darkness…thought you betrayed him—that you were the one who wouldn’t listen. Wanted me…to be you.”

“Oh…?”

“From his side, I don’t know—but you held so much anger toward him at the time that…that’s what I became. What I felt.”

“I was really angry then.” Sora sighed. “Well…you don’t seem upset about it anymore.”

“…’s different.”

“He is, isn’t he?” Sora sighed happily. He put all the food in the pan, and together, they watched it carefully. “But there’s so much they don’t know—him and Kairi.”

Rage nodded. “They won’t unless you tell them.”

“Same goes for you, you know.”

“…I know.” Rage sighed.

“Hey, Rage?”

“Hmm?”

“Thanks for always being there as the last resort. I hope…I hope I’ll never need that again.”

Rage nodded. “…was glad to help.”

Sora smiled and pulled the food off the heat and separated it onto four plates. “It’s ready!” Sora called into the other room as he took two plates and Rage took two and sat them on the table.

Riku and Kairi came into the room, talking and laughing—that was good. Good to see they happy and comfortable in each other’s presence.

“Wait, it actually smells good!” Riku said in surprise.

Rage twitched at the phrasing, and he heard Sora sigh before he laughed. “You guys, I do learn stuff too, you know.”

“Sorry, Sora,” Riku said.

“It’s fine—”

“…’s not,” Rage spoke up for Sora.

“Rage…” Sora looked over at him but didn’t look exactly annoyed; rather…relieved. Relieved that in that brief conversation, they had come to a silent understanding that…they were each other.

Rage shrugged. He took a bite of food. “Food is good,” he said, changing the subject for him.

“Yeah! I’m actually a pretty good cook these days,” Sora said with that grin, however fake. That was okay—Rage could be his frown.

Riku and Kairi sat down, and each took a bite. “Oh, my gods, this is amazing!” Kairi said.

Riku nodded. “It really is.”

“See? Told you so,” Sora said in a teasing tone.

Throughout the meal, not much was said—but it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, at least. And—

While sunrises belonged to Rage, he and Sora needed to stay near each other most of the time. That was just how it was.

Because…sunrises, Riku, Kairi, good food, laughter, other friends…those were things they had almost lost. Without each other…they never would have gotten them back.

Without each other, no one would ever have had them again.

Chapter Text

Chapter 2

(Sora)

Sora had come to understand something since he had brought Rage into a full existence—unlike his friends had feared, he still had all his emotions—he still felt anger and hurt and pain that they thought Rage would take away. This led him to realize what he knew Rage also understood:

Rage wasn’t his fury, anger, fear. He wasn’t his ‘rage’. No. Rage was when all those emotions reached a head, when all else failed, and he took over to save him. Those tools that Sora held back, because he was told they were bad, wrong, or darkness: Rage was those tools manifesting in those brutal moments. And in the same token, Rage wasn’t only those things, either.

Rage was the part of Sora that wanted to be quiet; the part of Sora that wanted to speak up and defend himself against cruelty or even ‘teasing’—and oh how Sora had always hated the teasing; the part of Sora that was just…what people thought was ‘not Sora’. Rage was the part that Sora hid behind the façade—and Rage wasn’t letting Sora hide that part of himself anymore, either—at least, not from himself.

Rage had wanted to be a person too—Sora still wasn’t sure what made his decision, but he understood…because those were part of who he was, that he wanted to hide away, too. Those parts of him wanted to exist. So…he let them.

He felt empty a lot—without Ven, it had been bad enough, but he had stumbled through. But…the emptiness he felt. The fact he didn’t have a shadow anymore—literally more than figuratively…Well, at least Rage seemed to understand, and stay nearby.

But…Sora didn’t know if Riku and Kairi realized these things—they treated Rage as a completely separate person, just like they did Roxas and Xion. But…it wasn’t the same; not for him, not for Rage. Two halves of a whole, perhaps…Well, it was what it was.

Sora sat on the beach outside the small house they called home, staring out at the sea—the sea he had almost never seen again. The sea that he had willingly thrown away for the sake of saving Kairi…He hadn’t really ever thought he’d come back…he had accepted his fate. But Rage hadn’t. Did anyone else realize that? Did…did Rage even realize that? Sora didn’t want to tell anyone—maybe Rage, someday, but not today, and certainly no one else.

The sea that he almost never saw again. The world that could have so easily been gone had he not defeated Xehanort. All the worlds…almost lost. He sighed and put a hand to his heart. His heart wasn’t empty, just not as crowded. But…

Sora heard the door of the house open and looked back. Riku was coming outside—it was the first time that Sora had really requested to be alone, he supposed—Riku and Kairi had given him a long time to himself; Rage always knew when he needed space and had tried to win it for him before but failed…except he managed to get Riku to watch sunrise with him. That was something, if only a small stretch of time between waking to the sound of Riku’s alarm and until Kairi come out of her room.

Riku came out and sat next to him. He didn’t say anything for what felt like a long time; neither did Sora.

“Sora…” Riku began; but he stopped.

“What’s up?” Sora looked over at Riku. Riku was quiet again. “Now come on, I can’t read your mind!”

Riku smiled at that comment. “I guess I just…Hadn’t gotten a chance to do this since you’ve been back. Just you and me sitting on a beach together.”

“I guess we haven’t been alone much, huh? Easier for you to get Rage away from me and Kairi than it is for me to get out of Kairi’s sight.” Sora laughed.

“S-sorry. I’m not meaning not spend more time with him—”

“I wasn’t meaning that, Riku,” Sora assured. “I’m glad you two are friends. I mean, he’s a part of me, you know?”

“’Is’? Not ‘was’?”

Sora paused. “Well…yeah.” Sora nodded. “We still are connected to each other—I have no heart connection to Roxas or Xion, but…Rage is a piece of me, even now.”

“Does that mean that—”

“No, no. I still feel anger and stuff. That’s not it at all.” Sora sighed. He hadn’t really wanted to get into all this. “I don’t know how to explain it to anyone, honestly.” A slight lie.

Riku blinked. “Well…I’m glad you can still feel those things,” he said after a moment. “I mean, it’s pretty clear that Rage isn’t just…rage.”

Sora nodded. “He isn’t. He’s…” Sora sighed and held his hand up to the sun—there was no shadow cast. Riku followed his gaze. “He’s my shadow. Literally.” Sora said after a moment. “I don’t know how else to explain that.” Riku blinked and grabbed for Sora’s arm before sighing in relief. “Huh?”

“Never mind…” Riku looked away as he let go of Sora’s arm.

Sora raised an eyebrow. “Clearly that was something.”

“Sorry.” Riku shook his head. “It’s just…I guess for a second I was afraid I was imagining you being here.”

“Oh.” Sora looked away this time. This had been hard on them too—but he didn’t think anyone but Rage realized how hard it had been on him. Sora sighed and looked back out at the sea. “No…Rage is my shadow, so…I don’t cast one, I guess.”

Riku nodded and looked back over, some expression that Sora couldn’t read that he saw out of the corner of his eye. “Okay, Riku—what’s really wrong?” Sora crossed his arms and turned to face him.

“Nothing—”

“Nope. There’s something. I’m not letting you brush over it this time.”

“…This time?”

“You know—all those times before—during our journeys, even before that first one. You’d get all quiet and get that expression, and I’d ask what’s wrong, and you either said ‘nothing’ or changed the subject.”

“Oh.”

“I do notice things, Riku.”

“It’s not something that matters—”

“Riku. Just tell me.” Sora did his best to sound stern.

“You know that I never hated you, right?”

Sora nodded.  “Yeah. I know.” A lie, of course, but a worthwhile one. “I always knew.”

Riku’s breath shook. “Did I really mess up that badly? You won’t even tell me the truth.”

“What do you mean? I said that I know—”

“Sora. You just said a little bit ago that Rage is part of you even now, didn’t you?”

Sora froze for a moment, filling in the puzzle pieces. “So…I guess you were asking a question to see how I would answer, rather than to get an answer.” Sora was sure the frustration lingered in his voice.

“Sorry…”

“No. No more sorrys.” Sora released a tense breath. “I know now that you never hated me. But, if you didn’t, I don’t understand why you did the things you did. You know?”

“Well…you never hated me, either, but I thought you did.” Riku shook his head.

“I know. But…you wouldn’t listen to me. I tried to reach out to you, but—” Sora put a hand to his heart. “I guess it was just anger, not hatred. But…I was lying when I said that I always knew that.”

Riku nodded. “That is a good summary, I think.”

“Rage was able to come to be because I was so, so angry at you in that moment that you took him from me.”

“Huh?” Riku paused.

“Back then. In Neverland. Rage told me that was when he was separated.”

“Did he tell you anything else?”

“He told me that you thought I had betrayed you. That I wouldn’t hear you out. That…that you wanted him to be me. And, that’s why I knew that you thought that I hated you.” Sora sighed. “I was so angry back then, but I never hated you. I wanted you to listen, but you wouldn’t. You were too far gone.”

Riku sighed. “Sora…”

“But the thing is, it doesn’t matter, really—even if I thought you hated me, I never hated you. I was angry, but…I only wanted my best friend back.” Sora closed his eyes. “And, in the end, you did come back. Things changed, but…not in a bad way.”

Riku was quiet for a long moment. “Thank you for never losing faith in me.”

“Of course.”

A quiet moment fell between them—the truth was, Sora knew what that look meant. He knew how Riku felt. Rage hadn’t told him, but…no, he didn’t have to. Still, he hoped that one day, Riku would be able to say the words, because…

Sora hadn’t realized until the time that he had erased and written over. The time that they managed to come back from the dead. The time that no one remembered but him.

When everyone else was gone.

When only Sora and Riku remained.

When Sora told the truth—that he believed that he was nothing without his friends…When only Riku remained…when Riku stood in front of him and took the hit from the heartless after saying the words that powered him forward from then on: “I know you don’t really believe that.”

Because…until Riku said that, he did believe it. And…when Riku took the hit of the darkness to protect him, Sora knew—Riku loved him with everything he was.

But Riku never did that now—not after everything changed. He didn’t know…he didn’t know that there was every way to realize that Riku loved him. Sora hadn’t consciously realized it until that moment, but…

Now, here they sat. Together. Sora wanting the words to be spoken. Because…it wasn’t his place to fill in that blank.

Instead, Sora reached out in the silence and took Riku’s hand in his own and stared back at the sea—the sea that without Riku pushing him forward…he never would have seen again.

Sora and Kairi were basically together now, in all but words. But…Sora loved Riku, too. Just as much as Kairi. But he had never said those words to either.

Riku made a noise of surprise before turning his hand and holding Sora’s back, but Sora felt Riku’s eyes on him and the confused sound in his voice. Sora’s heart echoed out the words: I love you, I love you; but he knew that Riku didn’t hear it.

And the words would not be spoken by either that day. Not those words, not the truth—that they really had all died; that Sora brought them all back. That it was the reason that when he used the Power of Waking again, he faded away. Because…it wasn’t time to tell that tale.

(Kairi)

Kairi was surprised that Rage decided to stay in the house with her when Riku went out to sit with Sora. They didn’t spend much time together alone, but then again, maybe that was because she didn’t like to let Sora out of her sight. But…

Rage sat on the couch—well, sat might not be the right word—he was upside down, back on the cushion, feet angled over the top. But he was humming happily and reading a book. It was a pleasant feeling.

She couldn’t help but look up from her own book once in a while and watch him, because it was like a part of Sora was sitting in the room, a part just as endearing as the Sora she knew; perhaps just a bit quieter, a bit less extreme…

“…do you need, Kairi,” Rage asked suddenly.

“Huh?” She blinked. She had only glanced up for a few seconds at a time.

“…ings are slower to me. …’ve been looking over… lot.”

“Oh…” She put her book aside. “I guess we just haven’t spent much time together.”

“Hmm…you’re always with Sora is all.” Rage lay his book to the side and shifted around to properly seated.

“Rage, could I ask you something?”

“…ahead.”

“It’s about what happened with Riku.”

Rage paused. “…’s like I told Sora—…was able to become me because of what happened in Neverland—…you weren’t there—”

“I was.”

“Hmm?”

“I was in Sora, remember?”

Rage slowly nodded. “…eah. Sora was angry, …f course—furious at Riku for betraying him. At the same time, Riku took Sora’s shadow from him—me.”

“Huh?”

“…’m literally his shadow. As for what happened with Riku—…don’t feel right saying much. Just that he thought…Sora had betrayed him, not the other way around—that Sora wouldn’t listen… not the other way around…and…” Rage paused. “I was a worthy replacement, I guess.” Those last words were full of pain. “…I went to fight Sora, and I was reabsorbed. …t’s all there is to it.”

“You make it sound so simple, yet Riku seems so upset by it.”

Rage shrugged. “…guess I was angrier about it …fore, and it still does bother me, but …’m not going to go into every detail. Those memories belong to me.”

“I’m glad you forgave him,” Kairi smiled.

Rage paused for a moment. “…an I ask you a question, Kairi?”

“Of course!”

Rage hesitated, as though trying to find his words. “Do you know that I’m still part of Sora?”

“…Huh?”

“…’m not like Roxas.” Rage closed his eyes. “…’m just…literally Sora’s shadow. You know, nothing more specific than that. …maybe I’m the parts that he wanted to hide away. But…” Rage closed his eyes. “…formed as I was when I met you because Sora would never use his anger, fear, or pain as a tool to fight with. That’s all.”

“The parts he wanted to hide away—”

“…I ask one thing of you, Kairi—know that when I speak up for Sora, it is him speaking.”

Kairi froze at the earnest look in Rage’s eyes. Her mind sliding back to the little things he had stepped up about—lots of “It’s fine—” “…t’s not.” There were other little things, too, but… “I see,” she said after a long moment.

“…at being said…” Rage closed his eyes for a moment. “Thank you for trying to find him. I didn’t realize how hard you were searching…what you went through. …didn’t realize—” He shook his head. “I didn’t realize just how much you care.”

“I care about him very much—more than anything.”

Rage nodded. “…know that now. But Kairi; do you know that Riku’s the same?”

She nodded. “I do. But…I didn’t know that you knew that.”

Rage was quiet for a long moment again before sighing. “…ere’s so much that no one but Sora and I remember.”

“Huh?”

Rage shook his head. “…not mine to decide to tell—… least, not mine alone.” He let out a shaky breath. “…you both mean everything to Sora. It’s just easier for us to share the words with you.”

Kairi nodded. “I know. I don’t think Riku knows, but I know.” She smiled. “And, I’m not jealous or anything. Part of me wishes that they’d just tell each other. And…that I’d get brave enough to say the words too.”

“Words aren’t simple, are they?”

Kairi laughed. “No. Not at all.”

“Sora and I know though.”

“I know.”

Rage nodded. He suddenly blinked and looked toward the door.

“What’s wrong?” Kairi asked hurriedly, worried.

“…No, it’s nothing.” Rage smiled instead, before looking up at her. “Words are hard.”

Kairi paused. “You do too, huh? Care about me and Riku more than anything?”

Rage was quiet for a moment before nodding. “Yeah.”

“That’s okay you know.” Rage looked up at her in surprise. “If you’re still part of Sora…then it’s okay.”

“Thank you, Kairi.”

(Rage)

As Rage heard Sora’s heart echo out the words to Riku, ‘I love you, I love you, I love you’, the words echoed from his own heart toward Kairi as they spoke. But at least she knew. Riku did not.

Did Kairi realize how close they had come to having none of this? To all of them simply not existing? Not just Sora—that they had all died and Sora had fought to get them back? It wasn’t his alone to tell, but…

‘I love you, I love you, I love you,’ Rage’s heart echoed the same. Because Riku and Kairi…he did love them too.

Still, he was happy to have these moments, to share these words. The louder, more expected words…sometimes, being more succinct with meaning was better. But…

Kairi sighed. “I guess me and Riku need to trade off which of us is with which you of you, huh?”

Rage paused. “I dunno.” He didn’t know that answer. “I’d say just do what feels right.”

Kairi nodded. “Yeah.”

“Hey Kairi?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m glad you found me, so I could find him.”

She smiled back. “Yeah. Me too.”

And just like that, they fell back into their own quiet tasks.

Chapter Text

Chapter 3

(Rage)

Rage perked up as he heard a shaky sigh from Sora in the other room. He tried to tune out most of the time, to give some privacy, but—

“No, I don’t want anyone to go with me. I’m just going on a walk.”

Rage sat up from the couch where he was reading and listened more closely.

“Sora, please humor me—”

“I’ve humored you both enough on this!” His voice shook. “I just want to be able to go off the property without you guys freaking out! I’m not going to disappear again.”

“Sora, you did disappear. It’s hard to—”

“Just…stop. I’m sick of this.” Rage heard Sora stomp toward the door. “I’m going on a walk. Don’t follow me.”

“Sora—”

Rage walked into the kitchen as he heard the back door slam.

Rage walked past them, heading for the door just the same.

“Rage, don’t you go off too,” Riku said softly.

“He doesn’t want you along. I’ll go.” Rage said more firmly. “Give us a break for light’s sake.”

“Rage…” Kairi let out a sigh and looked away.

“I can protect him, same as always.” Rage walked over to the door. “If you can’t trust that…if you can’t trust him. Or us.”

Rage opened the door and walked through. He let out a shaky sigh. Such a quick spike in energy, but he was proud of Sora speaking his frustrations that Rage so often had to be the one to speak. But…it felt wrong to not be with Sora. Protecting Sora. He would…he would offer the space he could, but…

It felt wrong to not be there to protect Sora. He had failed once. Not again.

(Sora)

Sora knew that running off on his own was dumb, but he had no other way to respond. Their concern was too much to bear—he wasn’t helpless. He wasn’t going to disappear again, he wouldn’t—

To his surprise, the footsteps that caught up were identical to his own. He looked back and saw Rage.

Sora slowed to a walk. “How far behind are they?”

“…didn’t come.”

“Huh?”

“…dunno why they listen to me not you.” Rage looked away.

Sora blinked. “Sorry, that had to be hard for you to—”

“For us.” Rage didn’t make eye contact. “…know you can take care of yourself, Sora. Why can’t they see that?”

Sora laughed because it had become his knee-jerk reaction to anything. Inside, he felt far from laughter. “That’s what I want to know, Rage.” Finally, a few tears slipped out. “Do they really not know that I knew exactly what I was doing?” Rage walked closer and wrapped his arms around Sora. Sora returned the hug. “You know that, right? It wasn’t a mistake. Kairi is more important—everyone is…”

“I know.”

“They don’t…they don’t remember what I erased. That they all—they all died. I knew that if I did it again, I wouldn’t come back.”

“I know.”

“They don’t…they don’t remember that terror. They don’t…they’re free of that pain. But I felt it—I experienced my own, and theirs…” Rage nodded again. “They don’t know…they were all lost. They were gone.”

“Sora…”

“You remember that, right? All that?”

“Yes. I do.”

“I didn’t think I would ever come home. I knew what I was doing. But…I’m not going to do it again. Never again. I can’t believe—how can they ever forgive me? They keep saying sorry, but I’m the one who did this.” Sora let out a shaky breath. “Without you, Rage, I…I’d still be there. I wasn’t…I wasn’t fighting for a way home anymore. But you…you were, weren’t you?”

“I’m what stands up for you when you give up—be it in a battle, or anything else. I’ve always been what steps up when you’re finished.” Sora let go of Rage and stepped back. Rage’s face was stained by tears to. “Of course I fought to get us home. The moment I could, I fought for it. Because you couldn’t.”

Sora stared for a moment before nodding. “I guess…No. I know that you are who I have to thank for all this.”

“I’m the piece of you who cares about you, Sora. When you lost that piece of yourself on your own, it became me.”

Sora was quiet for a long moment. He finally sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

Sora took a deep breath. He knew that Rage knew what the apology was for—for giving up. For having…for needing Rage. “At least…at least you remember. At least we aren’t alone.”

Rage nodded. “I was…shocked when they pulled me here.”

“Huh?”

“I thought it had been so much longer. I couldn’t forgive them for not trying directly—but it had only been a couple of years.”

“I didn’t think I’d ever come back. It was so long…so, so long. I didn’t…I never thought I’d make it home.”

“I know. I didn’t think they’d be who I’d see. I didn’t know what happened to me, being pulled from you. But when you were frozen—cold…I was stuck outside. Looking for a way. Because…even if they weren’t there anymore…I wanted to see the world of the living again. I wanted to see the sun rise, to see that what we did was worth it. Because…I wasn’t so happy to just believe it.”

Sora let out a shaky sigh. “Well…that’s what saved us. Because…you’re the part…you’re the part that Riku saw.”

“Hmm?”

“When he said, ‘You don’t really believe that’ when I said I was nothing without everyone else. You’re who he saw.” Sora could tell his voice was dull for once.

Rage was quiet for a moment. “I don’t think so.”

“But you’re who stands up when I can’t.”

“I didn’t exist then, Sora. I was part of you. I still am.” Sora stepped back and watched Rage. “A part of you that was invisible to all but him. I’m not the better part of you, Sora. I only fought because you wanted to. If you wanted to give up, I would never exist.” He paused. “Until I was out here, I had no humanity. Even then, it took a bit for it to grow. It still is growing, even with a physical form.” He looked down at his hands. “No. You were that part. You were what I am. And you still have that strength. I know you do.”

“Rage…”

Rage put a hand on his shoulder. “You’re strong, Sora. With me or without me. All I’ve ever done was help when you needed it.” Sora blinked that Rage’s words. “You aren’t important because of me, because of them, because of anyone. You’re you. That what’s important. That’s enough for me. That should be enough for all of us.”

Sora felt more emotion build up at that and couldn’t say anything in reply. Rage continued. “You’ve told so many people that, so many times. Why doesn’t it stick? I protected you because you’re you, not because I had to. Not because that’s all I was. You being you. You were enough. And though we almost lost you, you’re the one who held on, without me.”

“But I’m not—” His breath shook. “Always, from the very start, I was nothing without my friends.”

“False.” Rage paused. “I remember a time, very plainly, where everyone left you behind.”

Sora blinked. “Oh…Hollow Bastion.”

“You got back your Keyblade saying friends were your power, but…that isn’t true. Your friends aren’t how you kept going. You wanted to save Kairi. You didn’t care if it was with no help. Sure, Beast inspired you to move on, but you…you did it on your own. You decided to keep going. Because you knew that you were enough. And though it’s true that your Keyblade came back when you changed your mind…that you forgot how that felt…it’s tragic.”

Sora closed his eyes. “It hurt. So, so much. And I never—”

“You haven’t let yourself be angry about anything. Even once. If you had, I don’t think I’d be here, do you?” Sora opened his eyes and saw how earnest Rage’s expression was. “And though I’m glad to be here, I wish that your life wasn’t one where you felt I had to be separate from you.”

Sora took a shaky breath. “You’re right.” He paused. “They don’t understand. They think that I don’t know how much I’m loved. But…that’s not what this has ever been about, huh?”

Rage nodded. “Maybe it’s time you and I discussed something.”

“Huh?”

“I’ll leave you to yourself soon. You deserve that moment.” He paused. “But…you do remember what was overwritten, right?”

“Yeah…”

“You know that’s why sunrises are so important to me?”

“…I didn’t, actually.”

“We almost never had them again.” Rage closed his eyes. “But…you and I both know that you knew what you were risking when you went after Kairi. And yet, you stepped in, time after time, because you thought they were more important to you.”

“But they are—” Sora stopped. “Did I just…say that aloud?”

Rage sighed. “They don’t think you know how important you are to them, Sora.” Sora stared at Rage. “I think that maybe they’re right.”

“Rage—”

“But even with that, you aren’t important to you, huh? That’s why I’m here. You lost that somewhere, handed it over to me.” Rage was quiet again. “Sora, you are worth something by just being you. Even if you had to walk alone, with no one beside you…you’re still you. And that will always be enough.”

Sora looked down. “Logically, I know you’re right. But…if I don’t protect my friends, what am I? Kairi means so much more than I do to the worlds, to me, and—” The fact that Rage didn’t interject didn’t fail to surprise him. “I guess…I guess I can’t protect them if I keep throwing myself away, huh?”

“That’s not even what I mean, but it’s a starting point.” Rage closed his eyes. “Sora. You are Sora. You don’t owe anything to anyone in order to be worth something. You are strong by your own right. And I truly believe that.”

“At least…at least there’s that.”

“I’m going to let you walk on your own. You can protect yourself. I know that. So…” Rage was quiet for a moment. “Know that if no one else in all the worlds trusts you, I always will.

“Rage…Thank you.”

“You’re enough, Sora. Take as much time as you need to believe it.” Rage gave a quick smile and started walking away. “I’ll be…somewhere. I don’t want to go home; they’ll look for you then.”

Sora smiled. “Right. Thanks.”

“No problem.” Rage did as he said and walked away into the distance.

Sora took a deep breath. “Take as much time as I need to believe it, huh?”

He started walking again.

He was someone. Even without Ventus in him, without Roxas in him, without Rage in him. He was someone, even if he didn’t have his friends behind him—though he always would. He was someone…and that had to be enough. Because when it wasn’t…

In that tiny, briefest moment that it wasn’t…

That’s why it took him so long to get home. Kairi was more important, and he still believed that, but…

Maybe he was important, too. The Keyblade might not have chosen him, he was just part of something bigger, or so they said, but—

Then why was it that it was always up to him to pick up the pieces? And when he gave up, for that briefest moment, why was it that…

He sighed as he reached a beach. He sat down, watching the ocean. Why was it all about them? His breath shook. They were lost without him. Devastated. Everyone was. But…what about him? It was all what they felt without him there. With him just leaving a blank space.

It was…they needed him back because they couldn’t do it on their own. Why did they think that he could carry their weight too? It wasn’t…

No, doing that, that wasn’t enough. Rage was right.

Sora was Sora. He was Sora, nobody else. And just like the others…that had to be enough. No. It was enough.

He wanted his friends beside him, but he could stand on his own. Maybe that’s what made him special. Maybe that…maybe that was his strength. Maybe that was why…no. That was it.

He was Sora. Sora, strong enough to stand alone, so that he could stand for others too.

He had lost that. Too many people calling him useless on his own. Too many times told he was weak—that he wouldn’t recover. But no. Rage was right.

Sora was strong enough to stand alone. Sora was enough. Because, if he wasn’t enough for himself…

Then he would never have been able to hold up everyone else.

(Rage)

“Figured you’d get here a lot sooner,” Rage said, not even turning his head. Riku and Kairi’s footsteps were so familiar.

“You said you would be with him,” Kairi said.

“Yeah. I checked on him, then gave him space. Honestly, I am proud of you for holding off this long.”

“What—”

“Clingy. Maybe we don’t want to hear about how you couldn’t do it without him.” Rage let out a shaky sigh. “If you need to go find him, go ahead, but I trust that he’ll come home when he’s ready.”

Instead, they looked at each other before sitting down on the beach next to Rage. “I guess…we are being a bit overbearing, huh?” Kairi said softly.

Riku nodded. “It’s hard.”

“Yeah,” Rage agreed.

And with that, conversation ceased. Soon enough, Sora would return this way. Then, they could talk it through. Or not. Either way, it would be up to Sora.