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It scares him, actually.
Luke knows that with the days passing by, it brings him closer to his dreaded fate. He was okay with it, at first— back when destiny didn't tangle his life with Rosa.
He should've remained out of her life, really. Then it wouldn't have been hard to leave. It wouldn't have been hard to say goodbye.
And yet, he was drawn to her, like a moth to a bright flame, wanting to be within her light even if it would have cost everything. But now that he has, he keeps on thinking, was it worth it?
Was it worth it to come back, when all he'll do at the end was leave? Wouldn't it be only pain, when he knows that everything in his fingertips wouldn't be his when he passes?
It's a double-edged sword; it makes him want to believe in the impossible, that he'd be here longer than what he expected. At the same time, it makes him think that maybe he should leave earlier. To selfishly ease the ache in his heart when it's time for him to go. Selflessly, allow her to grieve less.
But when he sees her look at him— ever so loving, he can't seem to let go. Not when her eyes only plead him for one thing.
Stay .
Stay for the years he's missed. Stay for the memories they'll create. Stay for the time that they both lost.
Stay, for her. For them.
So, he does. He vows to be there, to be by her side at the moment she calls for his name. And it gives him nothing but happiness to know that it was him that Rosa's heart longed to call for. His hand that she chooses to hold. His arms that she finds solace in.
But when it's time for him to go, what would she feel, when all he knew he'd be gone? Will these three years be enough for him to make her feel all his love? Will these three years fit everything he's dreamed for them to do?
Then he hears her in his head, loud and clear, and so so sure.
"Three years is a lot of time to love. 1095 days could sound so little," she once said, holding his gaze as she talked. "But with every day that they spend giving their all in those days, isn't that what love is? To not regret the days that they have? To be able to look back and say that 'I loved them with everything I could give?' To be there at the moment that they have?"
She smiled at him and she sat beside him that time, her presence unyielding as she lay her head on his shoulder.
"Tomorrow isn't promised, Luke. It never is," she whispered. "But what we have now, we make the most out of it."
Taking her hand into his, Luke pressed a chaste kiss on top of it, wanting to tell her that he gets her. He truly did.
"So everyday," she continued. "I think that I'm happy that I just get to be with you. I'm lucky enough that I get to be by your side. That alone is enough. It doesn't matter if we have three years, thirty years, or three days."
He looked at her then, and in that moment, he knew that he'd live his three years with everything he could possibly give her, with the thought that in the three years that he had, it would be the three years that would make them both undoubtedly content.
"As long as I am with you, and you are with me. Days don't matter— what matters is that you know that I love you, Luke."
Luke squeezed Rosa's hand, tight, before he pressed his lips on her forehead, believing in every single word. Holding on to the promise that he swore to her that night.
It still scares him, sure. But as the days tick by, he thinks less of it, and more of what he can do now. Three years won't be enough, he thinks. For the love that he holds in his heart, even thirty years will be lacking for him to show Rosa everything. But it'll do. It'll do because he knows that Rosa sees all of him at that time. She'll know that in those years, it was only her, and only ever be her that he loved. That it was her who Luke ran under the rain for, that it was her who he learned cooking for, that it was her who he's done a billion little things to impress for.
That it was her who Luke chose to stay for.
In those three years that he had left, it was Rosa who Luke chose to be with.
And it was enough. It'll be enough.