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He was staring, again. He knew he tended to do that a lot, recently, taking advantage of the privacy of his office to watch you, unseen. Something was bothering you, but Javier couldn’t, for the life of him, find out what it was. He’d asked, but you’d deflected. When he’d insisted, you’d simply declared ‘it’s nothing I can’t handle, Sir. And nothing that concerns you.’ He’d seen you grow more self-assured over the past few months, and knew he had Van Ness and Feistl to thank for that. Your relationship to them was an easy one, a far cry from the limbo he and you seemed to be stuck in, made of polite Sir and stolen kisses on the cheek. You’d had drinks with them, he knew that. Never with him, though he also knew he tended to keep to himself, even with the other men.
It took him a second to realize someone had stopped at your desk. His eyes found Janine, handing you a cup of coffee. You smiled at her and the thought came to him, once again :
You looked so young. He knew how old you were, he’d seen your file, and there wasn’t ten years between the two of you, but he felt more than his age, and the suit he was wearing and your refusal to call him by his first name seemed to only stretch the gap between the two of you. He didn’t know what you did on your time off, but he hoped you were going out, he hoped you had made some friends. He hoped that asshole of an ex-boyfriend-
You were laughing, now. Janine was very funny. That was something he liked about her. He also liked her wits, and the sex. Most of all, he liked how casual the whole thing was. He liked that he could come back to her without worrying about her expecting anything more than sex. He liked that she understood the job came first. He liked that she didn’t tell every secretary in the embassy about their relationship.
Janine was leaning down, now, whispering something. She seemed to be teasing you. You replied, clearly agitated, before whispering something that made Janine laugh. He watched, safe in his office, as you two talked some more, a conversation too animated for something workplace-related. He watched as your heads got closer together when Van Ness walked by. Watched Van Ness turn around and claim ‘Fair enough, girls, keep your secrets, but if you’re having boys’ trouble, you know where to find me’.
Were you having boys’ trouble ? Javier wondered and wondered and wondered until he caught you looking right at him. He did a little salute, something a bit awkward, that had Janine looking at him and smiling. The secretary said something, still slightly teasing, that had your face crumble a bit and answer something looking down.
Shit.
Janine had the same reaction, and Javier watched her fuss over you for a moment. He wanted to know what was going on. He wanted you to confide in him. He wanted you to stop calling him Sir.
He tried not to think about it for the rest of the day, but his mind went back to you the moment he saw you in a bar with a friend, a female one, his brain supplied with relief. He knew what sober and drunk looked like and you leaning towards the latest.
He watched as you came to the bar, towards him, unaware he was even here. When your eyes met his, a smile lit up your whole face.
‘Hello, Boss.’ You giggled.
It was fucking adorable.
You came to stand next to him and ordered two beers.
‘How’s your night going ?’ He asked.
‘Great. Trying to blow off some steam, you know…’
‘Whatever’s been bothering is still bothering you ?’
You looked down, at that.
‘Yeah, but, it’s nothing, really.’
‘If it’s bothering you, then it’s not nothing.’
Silence stretched between the two of you.
‘You can talk to me, you know ?’
You looked up at him, something shy. Javier prayed you weren’t about to bite your lip because if you did he was going to loose it and do something stupid like kiss your pretty mouth. He had rules about you but the whiskey made him sloppy and careless.
‘The new CIA agent.’ You started.
‘Stechner’s new pet ? Johnson ?’
Javier saw him once or twice. Good looking dude, really annoying. Walked around like he owned the place.
‘That’s my ex-boyfriend.’
He looked at you for a few seconds, waiting for you to laugh and tell him it was a joke. But you didn’t. You weren’t laughing. You looked ashamed.
‘Well, fuck. The one who told you to quit your career ?’
You only nodded, looking everywhere but at him.
‘The fucker knows the irony of him being a CIA agent when he asked you that ?’
You shrugged. Fuck. He hated seeing you like this.
‘I don’t mind him being here but he tries to talk to me. Janine knows, she makes sure he doesn’t get too close to my desk but she can’t exactly do it all the time.’
‘I’ve never seen him around.’ Javier answered.
‘He does it when I’m alone.’
Javier swore.
‘Why didn’t you tell me before ?’
‘It’s not that big of a deal, Sir.’
‘Stop fucking calling me Sir.’
You looked like you were shrinking on yourself. He put a hand on your arm before he could stop himself.
‘If he’s making you feel like that, then it’s a big deal. What can I do ?’
You looked up, lips parting in surprise, before shaking your head.
‘Nothing. It’ll pass.’
Your beers were here and you turned to look at your friend.
‘I should get back.’
You were rubbing your neck. Javier’s hand was still on your arm. He nodded.
‘Enjoy your night. Don’t think about him. Don’t let him make you feel small. Don’t let anybody make you feel that way. You’re good at what you do. He can go fuck himself.’
Javier had no idea where the pep talk came from but the way you smiled and blushed was worth it.
‘Thank you, Sir.’
‘If I put a bullet in his head will you call me Javi ?’
Your answering laugh was a beautiful thing. He wanted to lean down and kiss your cheek but he felt that would have been inappropriate, considering you were just talking about your ex-boyfriend. He still wanted to kiss more than your cheek, but he didn’t. It would have been a great third kiss, with you looking all flushed, but still oblivious to the way Javier was looking at you. But he didn’t do it anyway. He had rules.
If the next morning Thomas fucking Johnson got a little visit from Javier, you didn’t have to know about it.