Work Text:
Anxiety.
Lumine stood atop one of the many hills overlooking Mondstadt, shuddering as she tightened the grip she had on her blood-stained sword. Though the battle to defend Mond finally seemed as if it was over, she couldn't help but feel uneasy.
Something was off.
"Hey, Lumie!" Amber gleefully called as she approached the foot of the hill, waving at her with the brightest grin on face. "It looks like that was the last of them! We did it!"
Lumine intently watched as Amber slung her bow over her shoulder and wiped the sweat from her brow. Holding her breath, Lumine scanned her distant form for any major injuries. Luckily, she seemed to have nothing more than a few cuts and scrapes.
Breathing a momentary sigh of relief, she waved back to her beloved girlfriend, then began her descent down the hill. "Great job, Ambs! Told ya they wouldn't be a match for Mond's #1 duo."
Silence.
Lumine's heart dropped. Why was Amber just standing there? The girl who was once gleaming with energy, now stood completely motionless. Were her injuries far more severe than Lumine had assumed? Had she sensed another enemy?
This had to be the reason why she had felt so uneasy by the end of the fight, right? Her head began to spin, her thoughts becoming an incoherent mess. She quickened her pace down the hill as countless scenarios replayed in her mind.
Amber slowly looked up at Lumine, fear plaguing the face that once beamed so radiantly.
"I-"
It was then that time itself had come to a halt, and Lumine's world once again shattered into a million pieces.
Amber wasn't granted the chance to speak. Ice violently erupted from the floor beneath her, impaling her body several times over.
Lumine couldn't bear to live in a world Amber wasn't in.
Once she realized she was being sent back in time, she made it her sole mission to protect Amber. She desperately attempted to save her life in each and every time loop, but it was always to no avail. Regardless of what she changed, Amber always died. But why?
She was beginning to lose track of how many loops she had repeated, and she still hadn't found the answer.
What Lumine once believed to be a gift bestowed upon her, a second chance at grasping the life she wished to live, became the source of her ever-growing anguish. She had to watch Amber die, over and over and over. Falling to the rocky sea below Starsnatch after taking a shotgun blow from the Fatui, blunt force trauma to the head from a Hilichurl ambush, a dagger to the chest from a Cicin Mage.
It was almost as if fate itself was tormenting her with its cruel tricks, enjoying the tragic show they continued to put on for it. Were the two of them forever fated to be nothing more than star-crossed lovers?
Lumine couldn't bring herself accept this.
Following the sudden ambush, Amber immediately fell to the ground. She began gasping for air, her clothes slowly soaking in the pool of blood that seeped beneath her.
“AMBER, NO!!”
Adrenaline pumping through her veins, Lumine dropped her sword and rushed down the hill, nearly tripping over what seemed to be every piece of scattered debris that remained from the "concluded" battle. No matter how many times she went through this sort of scenario, she was never able to keep herself together during the last moments.
Amber's last moments...
She rushed to her side, tears welling up in her eyes as she frantically embraced the fallen Outrider. She could feel the heat slowly fading away from her body. The girl who was the very embodiment of sunshine, an energetic flame that was once believed to be anything but ephemeral, that was always smiling and beaming with joy and radiance, began to dim and fade away once again, quicker than she could even begin to cope with.
All that could be heard in that moment was the soft sobbing of a girl who continued to lose her battles against time and fate.
“H-hey Lumie…” Amber was the first to break the silence. Her voice trembling as she struggled to speak. “I don’t think... I’m gonna be able to... treat you to dinner later haha…”
Amber felt awful. She promised she would treat Lumine to her special home cooking once she returned from the urgent matter she had to attend to in Liyue, but a sudden raid on Mondstadt by the Abyss order changed their plans. As optimistic as Amber usually tried to be, she knew things weren’t looking good for her. She wasn't going to get the chance to cook for her girlfriend, and...
This would be her last time talking to Lumine...
The realization filled her with a sense of dread that continued to pull at her heart as she slowly shifted her gaze upwards to meet Lumine’s. Archons, she couldn't bear to see her this hurt. She didn’t want this to be the end. There were so many things she wanted to do, so many places she wanted to go.
She had always dreamed of one day being able to tag along on Lumine’s adventures as they traveled throughout Teyvat together.
She was slowly beginning to lose sensation throughout her body, her vision starting to waver, and although Lumine’s tears had been falling onto her face, she knew she wasn’t the only one crying.
This really was the end.
“Amber… Archons I’m… *hic* I don’t know what to do I can't stop the bleeding.” Lumine's voice quivered as she struggled to speak through her sobs. “I’ve failed you again *hic* Archons, I’m so sorry, Amber.”
Amber desperately wanted to reach up and wipe away her tears, tell her that everything was alright, embrace her in her arms and never let her go, but alas, the fatal wounds had taken their toll and she could no longer feel anything from her arms down. Each breath she took became more and more laborious.
“Hey... Lumie… Please don’t…blame yourself...”
Amber mustered up the biggest smile she was capable of, given the circumstances, tears still streaming down her face.
“I’m so... glad... we met. Spending all this time with you… has been... a dream come true, and I… I wouldn’t... trade it for the world” Amber wasn’t sure if it was because of her tears or not, but her vision blurred even more, to the point where she was no longer able to make out her beloved traveler's face, or anything at all.
“I love you… so much… I... love you… to the moon... and back, Lumie... Never... forget…”
“I-I love you too, my little bunny...”
Lumine could barely get the words out before Amber’s body became limp, and the light in both her eyes and vision dissipated.
Silence.
“Amber…? Amber please... don't...” She trailed off, her words becoming nothing more than violent sobs. Her grip tightened as she sat there helpless, embracing the outrider’s lifeless body.
She was now alone, left with nothing but a growing hole in her chest, a void that threatened to consume everything in its path.
She couldn't take it anymore. No matter how many things she changed in these loops, it all ended the same:
With Amber’s violent death.
Would she forever be fated to meet a violent end? Was there anything she could possibly do that would prevent it? Lumine felt utterly powerless at her inability to change anything.
Suddenly, the air surrounding her grew cold, and soon after she felt sharp pains reverberate throughout her entire body. She looked down. Ice, and lots of it, had pierced through her. It seems fate had grown bored and decided to call her back early. She fell over onto the ground, outrider still in her arms. Unlike Amber, her final moments never lasted long. She laid there motionless in a growing pool of blood as the cold embrace of death quickly washed over her like a violent tide.
Darkness.
“...ie… Lumie!”
Lumine jolted awake. Looking above her, she was greeted by the sight of her girlfriend leaning over her, worry written all over her face. Lumine rested her arm over her face, only to find that her hair was clinging to her skin. She was sweating.
Lumine shifted her vision to the rest of her surroundings.
This was definitely Amber’s room. It was still dark out, but the faint moonlight emanating from the window allowed her to make out the faint silhouette of Amber’s cherished doll, as well as the various little knickknacks she had sent her during her past trips, all neatly sitting on the desk across the room.
Her memories slowly returned as she glanced around.
Ah... So that wasn't just a dream... She was back again. Back to a time where Amber was still alive and well.
Lumine sat up, wincing at the sharp pains that quickly spread throughout her body before suddenly vanishing. Her body always seemed to remember the pain she experienced during her previous death whenever she was first sent back in the time loop.
“Archons Lumie are you okay?! What’s wrong?!”
Lumine felt the weight of the bed shift as Amber swiftly jumped across to position herself in front of her. Though there still wasn’t much light, Lumine could tell Amber was deathly concerned.
“Ah… Amber, I…” Lumine’s brain was still struggling to process everything that had just occurred. All she was able to see was the memory of Amber's pained face, coated in blood and tears. “Can I… have a hug?” She couldn't bring herself to look her in the eyes. She then felt Amber's hand caressing her cheek as she wiped away her tears.
“Of course, Lumie." Amber paused for a moment before continuing. "I'm really sorry if I startled you. I heard you crying and I got really worried...” Amber gently leaned in and embraced her, rubbing circles into her back as Lumine buried her face in the crook of Amber’s neck.
Warmth.
A wave of emotions washed over her as she soaked in all of Amber's warmth. Her grip only tightened on the faded red tank top Amber had worn to sleep that night. Archons how she wished she could just stay like this forever, only living in this single moment in time.
“Lumie?"
"Hm? Her voice was barely audible, muffled by the portion of hair that had fallen between her face and Amber's neck.
"I’ll always be here for you if you need anything, anything at all. Okay?” She felt Amber’s grip tighten slightly. “I…” Her voice trailed off, and Lumine felt a drop of water land on her shoulder, which then proceed to slide off.
Amber was crying.
“S-sorry... I don’t... know what came over me all of a sudden.”
Lumine’s heart ached. Oh how she desperately wanted to tell Amber everything, but she knew it was futile. There was a loop where she had confided in her, but in the end she felt it did nothing but put an unnecessary burden on Amber's shoulders. The end result didn't change, and Amber still died despite the preparations they had made, so what was the point of making Amber suffer alongside her? Seeing Amber so stressed out during that loop broke her heart.
“It’s alright, bunny. It's good to let it out.” she softly whispered as she buried her face further into Amber's neck.
A long moment of silence passed before Lumine spoke again.
“Actually... I'm the one that should be sorry you dummy. I woke you up in the middle of the night after all.”
"Wha- Nonsense!" Startled by Lumine's unwarranted apology, Amber jumped back, put her hands on her shoulders, and looked her directly in the eyes while cracking the most confident smile she could put on. "It's my duty as your girlfriend to always make sure that you're okay. Even if it is 4 in the morning."
Laughing quietly so as not to disturb their neighbors, Lumine pressed their foreheads together, her worries slowly beginning to fade away as she relished in Amber's presence and laughter. "Alright alright you win, I can't argue against that because I'd do the same exact thing."
They sat there for another few minutes, simply enjoying being in each other's presence.
"Hey, Lumie?"
"Hm? What's up, bunny?"
Amber leaned in and gave Lumine a gentle kiss on the lips before pulling back. “Are you feeling a bit better now? Do you want to try going back to sleep?”
Lumine suddenly found herself unable to speak, overwhelmed by the sense of comfort and belonging that radiated from the sudden gesture. All she was able to do was nod yes in response.
The pain that stemmed from the burden she carried across time melted away as she laid there under the fluffy sheets, buried in her beloved Outrider’s arms. She could never get enough of the warmth her precious sun radiated.
Just as Lumine was about to drift off into sleep, Amber tenderly kissed her forehead.
“Good night, Lumie. I love you to the moon and back.”
Lumine smiled as she buried her face into the Outrider's chest.
“Goodnight, my little bunny. I love you too. More than you could ever know.”
Lumine knew in her heart that this moment was only short-lived in the grand scheme of things, but she didn't care. It was these very moments she would spend with Amber that kept her sane and refueled her with the resolve she needed to continuously push onward.
She didn't care about how long it would take. If there was even the slightest possibility that she could have a future with Amber, a future where they could both live out their lives happily together, sharing moments like this each and every day, she was going to fight tooth and nail for it.
"I’ll find a way to protect you… no matter how long it takes. So please… wait for me."
There was a loud thump on the floor as Amber came crashing down from the bed, landing flat on her back, legs still tangled in the sheets above. Her entire body ached, and her eyes struggled to adjust to the bright light pouring into the room through the window above.
Spitting out the strands of hair that somehow got caught in her mouth during the fall, she carefully stood up and looked around the room. It was her room, devoid of any life besides herself and Baron.
She quietly chuckled to herself as she finger gunned at the plush doll across the room, nicely seated next to all of her cherished knickknacks on her desk.
Thank Archons Lumine didn't see that. Amber knew she would've been laughed at and teased mercilessly for it. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad though. She desperately wanted to hear her girlfriend's cheerful and adorable laugh again. It had been a while since... they were able to laugh together without a care in the world...
Amber stumbled back onto the bed, memories of the previous fight slowly returning to her.
"Ah, that's right... the loop..."
The Abyss order had attacked Mondstadt, and she once again took the lethal hit that was meant to end Lumine's life.
She always took the hit that was meant to end Lumine's life.
After all, Lumine was the one fate wanted dead, and Amber sure as hell wasn't going to let that happen ever again.
However, despite being able to save Lumine like she always planned, she was distraught at the situation she found herself in. A few loops ago, she found out Lumine was also in one, and she was absolutely hellbent on saving Amber's life.
Lumine broke down crying one night, sharing that she was stuck in some sort of loop, and she was devastated that she had failed to save Amber in each and every one. She felt lost and finally decided to try and seek Amber's help at that time.
Guilt washed over like a howling tide as Amber came to the realization that her actions had become the source of Lumine's suffering somewhere along the line. How was she supposed to tell Lumine that she was actually the one fated to die a gruesome death? She couldn't.
"AAARGH!" Amber let out a frustrated scream as she buried her face into her pillow, tears welling up in her eyes.
Lumine would be arriving in Mondstadt tomorrow, and her loop would start again later that night.
"Archons I don't know what I'm supposed to do... I know I'm just being selfish, but I...."
She jumped up as a sudden knock on the door interrupted her train of thought.
"Sweetie, is everything alright? Jean and I heard a loud noise and grew a bit worried." It was Lisa.
Promptly rubbing away her tears, Amber jumped out of bed, immediately tripping over the blanket which had fallen along with her earlier, and landing on the floor with a loud thud. She laughed and rolled over onto her back, covering her once again tearful eyes with her arm.
The last thing she needed to do was worry Jean and Lisa while they were busy.
"Ahaha I'm fine! I'm just a bit drowsy is all so no need to worry. This Outrider will be up and ready for duty in no time!" Amber didn't move.
An awkward silence lingered in the air before Lisa spoke up again. "Alright, love. You know where to find us if you need anything, okay?"
"Thanks, Lisa."
"Anytime sweetie." Amber heard her turn away, and simply listened as her footsteps grew faint and eventually disappeared down the hall.
Letting out a sigh, she sat up and turned her gaze towards the passing clouds on the other side of the window. They drifted by slowly and peacefully, as if they didn't have a care in the world.
Oh how badly she wished things could be the same for her and Lumine.
Tears streamed down her face as she thought about everything that could have been... What their life could have been like had they not been trapped in this cruel cycle fate "graciously" bestowed upon them.
A cycle where Amber simultaneously protected yet hurt the one she held dearest.
"I'm sorry, Lumie. In the end... I'm the one who's failed you..."