Work Text:
Nothing seemed to work, nothing seemed to help, no matter how much he tried, nothing could make the pain stop.
Sure, it could be numbed but it never seemed to disappear, he didn’t know how much he could take anymore. He doesn’t know how he used to deal with this before, it’s like it’s gotten worse.. but how could it? it’s not like anything’s changed?
Xingqui is going to be so disappointed.. no matter what chongyun did he could never get rid of his yang energy and archon knows he had tried everything.
Ice pops helped the most, but sometimes it got so bad that he felt as though he was drowning in his own lungs, choking himself alive, and there was nothing he could do but feel every burn and blister form from nothing all because he chose to breathe this time.
Sometimes he wondered if dying was less painful than this. sometimes the thought of dying felt peaceful, comforting.
Chongyun felt so alone, he couldn’t explain this burning feeling and no one for miles would ever understand, the only person who even tried to understand was xingqui. He found all these books about yang energy but none of them accurately depicted what it was like, he still was very grateful for his best friend’s efforts. He just didn’t know how much longer he could take feeling this way. He didn’t want to hold it all in anymore, he wanted someone to see him, to truly to see what was happening and be scared, just like he was.
It didn’t take long at all for the heat to rise like the dead, ready to take over his fragile body. He stumbled and fell to the ground, laying back; sinking into the grass and waiting (wishing) for it to swallow him whole. His lungs blistered and weeped and he tried to scream but nothing came out. Boiling blood rushed through his veins and he felt paralysed, there wasn’t anything he could do but let this feeling pass,
or die trying.