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Every Sunday was a four-hour brunch day. For as long as Levi had known his housemate, Erwin, the blond actuary would wake up at 6AM and begin his weekly labor of love. Some Sundays, it would be a simple, homey affair of pancakes or waffles (or both) and sausages. Other times, he'd prepare a brunch spread the Food Network would be proud to feature. It used to baffle Levi, seeing this usually busy and serious man in an apron that said "No Bitchin' in my Kitchen" (a gift, Erwin had said nonchalantly when Levi had first seen him in it), being as domestic as can be bright and early every Sunday, no matter how late he may have gotten home the night prior.
And, like clockwork, around 8AM, they would hear keys jangling outside the door to their brownstone and, a moment later, a little hurricane of dark hair and warm smiles would come in, with greetings even more welcoming than the expression on her face, "Erwin! Oh my gosh, what a week. I've missed you! What's cooking? Hiiii Levi!"
Where Erwin was tall, serious and honestly intimidating, his cousin was a tiny, sweet thing with easy, incandescent smiles. Levi had initially thought the woman was Erwin's lover, and had been surprised to find out they were actually cousins, "but practically siblings," she had mused, when Erwin had introduced her to their new tenant. Although their statures, hair colors and demeanors were vastly different, Levi immediately saw the family resemblance once he had observed the matching intelligent looks in their eyes.
That first Sunday brunch with the Smiths, Levi had gotten the rundown of the cousins' story. Both had basically grown up together in the same family compound, and had lost both their parents in a tragic car accident when Erwin had been 19 and his cousin 15. Because Erwin was already of legal age, he had been able to take custody of his cousin and the two had become even closer and more inseparable since. Calculating, strategic Erwin had gone on to become an actuary, which meant that he was able to earn enough even at an early stage of his career to be able to somewhat comfortably provide for both himself and his cousin. His cousin, the obvious other side of the weighty coin that was the Smiths, went on to finish med school and was currently in her last year of subspecialty training to become a pediatric cardiologist in a prestigious hospital downtown.
The brownstone was theirs and one of the bedrooms on the second floor was hers (the other one was Levi's, and Erwin had a study and bedroom on the third floor), but the young doctor was on call most days of the week and usually stayed in a small flat near her workplace. On Sundays, however, she would always find her way home.
Levi had initially felt a little overwhelmed in the company of the two, who would spend their Sunday mornings together enjoying a languorous meal while catching up. For two incredibly busy people, it was that one day of the week they could act like they had all the time in the world. They also had a tendency to delve into really deep discussions into anything from medicine to world politics to how well Jane Austen's books provided insight into the culture and society of the Regency era, but with the affect of two people talking breezily about the weather. Although Levi considered himself well-read (he literally owned a tea shop and bookstore), there was just something about the way the two discussed things that made him content to keep mum and be just a spectator.
For the first few months, Levi had tried to make himself scarce for most of the morning to give the two some space. And then, one brisk October Sunday, as he made his way out of the house at 5AM to head to the gym and then spend a couple of hours at his tea/bookshop, Dr. Smith came home, for the first time since he had met her, early and looking defeated. Upon seeing him, she startled and gave him a poor imitation of her smile, the gesture failing to reach her eyes.
He should have probably let it go. It was none of his business. And he never made other people's business his business ever. But seeing the usually effervescent woman looking so empty found him reaching out to catch her arm and turning her to face him, "Hey. What's wrong?"
And just like that, she crumpled. And just as how he never liked to involve himself in the affairs of others, he also never had to comfort anyone before. Upon seeing the tears glistening in her eyes, he had immediately ushered her into the warmth of the house, prepared her a cup of tea, and sat quietly beside her as she recounted how they had lost a little boy who had suddenly began to reject his donor heart after months stable.
Ethan had been a special case for her, she told him, as she had been there from his birth and diagnosis, through his series of heart surgeries, and his eventual heart transplant. His family had often invited her to his birthday parties, every year a victory against death. His mom would send her photos of his accomplishments: from the first time he earned stars in preschool to his first unassisted bike ride. Midway through her story, he had instinctively placed an arm around her as she stared blankly into her quickly cooling tea. And by the end of her account of his final moments, when her voice began to crack, he had let her quietly weep into his shoulder until she had fallen asleep. It was only when he was listening to her slow, quiet breaths that he realized that he was still holding her. Quickly but gently, he eased his arms off her and guided her sleeping form to recline on their couch, trying not to let his gaze linger too long over her features.
He stood over the doctor’s sleeping form for a while, unsure of where to go and what more he should still do, when he heard Erwin's heavy footfalls making their way down the stairs. Levi picked up his gym bag and met the blond at the base of the steps, tilting his head towards their living room, "She got home a while ago. Looks like she lost a patient. She's sleeping now though."
Erwin's expression immediately grew somber, "Thanks, Levi. I'll take care of her. Off to the gym?"
The silver-eyed man glanced again towards the living room before nodding, "I’ll drop by the shop too. Be back later. Save me a plate?"
Later that day, his phone pinged with a message from an unknown number.
I’m really sorry about the waterworks. Thank you for being there, Levi.
It was a couple of weeks before Levi could face her again.
Levi should have known the Smiths would be the kind of family to make big deals out of holidays. Thanksgiving was an elaborate but homey affair where the cousins spent all day cooking up a storm (he discovered that the good doctor also had an apron of her own: “Your opinion wasn’t in the recipe.” She had told Levi it was a gift. He didn’t bother to ask who from.) and then went about setting a gorgeous table, complete with plate chargers, candles and tiny, ornate pumpkins. Levi had awkwardly offered to help, but he frankly had no idea what he could contribute. Erwin had told him to take it easy, and Levi volunteered to run out to get more wine for the evening (even if the Smiths had a pretty respectable wine stash already) just to get out of their hair.
On his drive back from the liquor store, Levi had contemplated his time since he had met Erwin in his shop. The actuary was a regular of his, although he would generally come in more for the books than Levi’s tea (Erwin liked getting his caffeine from beans, rather than leaves). He had noticed Levi looking over housing listings one day and had brought up that he was looking to rent out a room himself. The following day, Levi had shown up at Erwin’s brownstone and, upon seeing the well-kept yet homey interiors that seemingly had more bookshelves than visible walls, Levi had immediately agreed to become the third occupant of the house. Erwin had told him the other occupant was gone most days of the week and would usually just come over on Sundays. Levi had said this was fine with him and asked no more questions. Erwin volunteered no more information about their other housemate as well.
Levi found that Erwin was out of the house most of the time and when he was actually around, he was usually in his study working or reading. Levi generally left for work before Erwin did, while Erwin often came home later than Levi did. They rarely shared meals and, when they did, they tended to be very efficient ones. One of them would order takeout, they’d eat in relative but companionable silence, and then they would head off to their rooms without much fanfare. One of the few times they did actually bother with conversation though, they had both discovered that both their parents had already passed and they were both only children. Levi didn’t typically share much about himself to others, but Erwin had taken that information as just a mere statement of fact, rather than a prompt for sympathy, as Levi had rightly expected. However, this had also meant that Levi had an open invitation to whatever plans the Smiths had, as Levi would later discover, including those for the holidays.
Levi never really had a lot of feelings about holidays. He had always spent them with his mother and uncle, but those usually just entailed a nice meal together and not much else. When his mother had passed away, he and his uncle seemed to agree that those meals were often just for the sake of Kutchel, and would message each other obligatory brief greetings on major holidays and be content with that. It was strange to see just how other families actually celebrated, and even stranger to become a party to it. And, like everything else about the Smiths, he felt both overwhelmed by everything, but also surprisingly glad to be included.
Later that evening, he was introduced to the rest of the Smiths’ close friends: Hange, a molecular biologist who had studied in the same institution as the lady doctor did; Mike, Erwin’s best friend and a photographer; and Nanaba, Mike’s wife and a museum curator. He had observed their easy-going banter and the familiar way they all moved around the space and each other. The younger Smith noticed him hanging back, however, and had led him closer to where they were all gathered, giving him an encouraging smile as she situated him between herself and Hange. Nanaba, who was across the kitchen counter from where he now stood, poured a glass of wine for him and passed it over, winking at him, “Good to have you join us, Levi. I promise, we don’t bite.”
“Except Mike,” Erwin corrected, cool blue eyes filled with mirth. At that, Nanaba laughed, a boisterous but welcoming sound, “Yes, except Mike. Do I even want to know why you know this, Erwin?”
“God, you two, shut up,” Mike groaned as he gingerly placed the now cooled cranberry apple pie on the cake stand at one end of the Smiths' dining table.
Soon, Levi found himself occasionally smiling in amusement at their exchanges, the wine and the company. The longer the night got, the more at ease he felt. At the end of the evening, Hange had convinced him to exchange numbers with all of them, and they had all promised to drop by his shop one of these days. As the Smiths and Levi bid the three goodbye, Levi felt something foreign bloom inside of him. As he followed the cousins to the kitchen to help with the rest of the cleanup, Levi paused when he realized exactly what it was he was feeling: a sense of belonging.
She had come home on a Friday, a week before Christmas. The doorbell rang at nine in the evening as Levi waited for his tea to steep. Surprised that they’d have a visitor so late (or that Erwin had forgotten his keys), he made his way to the front door. He opened it to find the younger Smith, eyes bright, cheeks rosy from the cold weather, with an apologetic smile and hands full with multiple shopping bags, “Levi! So sorry, I forgot my key in my apartment.”
He took the bags off her hands and beckoned her inside. She flashed him a grateful smile, “Thanks. Last minute shopping.”
“Did you buy the whole department store?” he asked, carefully placing the bags down on the living room floor as she shrugged off her coat, scarf and gloves.
She winked at him and laughed, the sound causing a strange ache in his chest that was not unpleasant, “Maybe just the first floor. Don’t tell Erwin.” He snorted softly and rolled his eyes, his lips twitching upward.
She followed him back to the kitchen as he got back to his tea, raising a brow at her in question. She sank down into one of the dining room chairs and cradled her face in her hands, closing her eyes and letting out a long breath, “Yes please, I’d love a cup.”
He kept his eyes on the stream of tea as he poured them a cup each, “You’re home early.”
“Oh! I forgot to tell you last Sunday,” she said, glancing over at him, rubbing her cheeks with her hands, “We’re not anticipating a lot of cases over the next two weeks so we split the on-call days so that we could all enjoy the holidays. I’ve got this entire week off, then I’ll be on-call the week leading up to the new year.”
He set a cup of tea down in front of her and watched as she folded her slender fingers around the cup to enjoy the heat. It was really none of his business, but the words left him before he could stop himself, “So you’ll be on call on new year’s eve?”
She brought the cup up to her face and took a long inhale, “God, Levi, I don’t know what kind of sorcery you do, but your tea is always so fragrant.” She then tipped the cup to her lips, “And sooo good.”
Levi quickly averted his gaze when he realized he was staring at her lips, which had turned rosier from the warmth of the tea. She set the cup down and tilted her head towards him, that damn mouth once again curving up in that way of hers that he felt may actually drive him crazy, “I’ll be here for new year’s eve, don’t worry!”
“I’m not worried.”
She leaned closer to him and her maddening smile morphed into a shit-eating grin, “I’ll be here if you need a new year’s eve kiss.”
Alarm bells rang in Levi’s head as he nearly lost his grip on his cup, his face growing hot, “What the hell, doc. Who knew you were such a brat?”
“That’s not a no, Levi.” That damn tinkling laugh again. He glared at her, wondering if she could also hear his heart pounding and blood rushing.
“Fuck off.”
She drank the rest of her tea in one go and stood up, stretching, “I actually should. I need a hot bath and I’ve got a shit ton of gifts to wrap. Thanks for the muscle and the tea, Levi.”
He made a noncommittal sound and glared into his cup, diligently avoiding her gaze. He heard the scrape of her chair against the floor and the sound of dishes being set down behind him. And then he felt something warm and moist press against his cheek and he nearly jumped out of his skin.
She drew away, blue eyes sparkling as they met his startled grey ones, “Have a good night, Levi.”
Levi sat unmoving for a good while until Erwin came home, surprised to see that the raven-haired man had not yet retired for the evening. He grew even more curious when he realized the normally unflappable man looked spooked. He decided wisely not to ask and just bid the man good night as he made his way up the stairs.
For the first time since Levi moved in, both Smiths were home an entire week. Whether it was because his cousin was home or because his workload was also lighter during this time of the year, Erwin had also been coming home earlier and preparing dinner with the doctor nightly. Apparently, the younger Smith was an early riser (my body clock won’t let me sleep in, she had complained to him Monday morning) and would typically already be busy making coffee in the kitchen by the time he was making his way out to work. Every morning that week, she had greeted him good morning and offered him coffee, and each time, he’d greeted her back and declined. When he came home at night, she would already be cooking with her cousin. Each time, both Smiths would greet him and go back to their tasks, ridiculous aprons on and glasses of wine in hand. So far, there had been no repeat of That from That Evening, to Levi’s relief. Or so he told himself.
The brownstone also became increasingly more festive with every day that passed that week. By Thursday, a wreath was hanging on their door and a new doormat placed that said “Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal” in obnoxious cursive. There were also garlands draped over their banisters, Christmas socks hung over their fireplace (three of them, Levi noted with surprise, including one with his name on it), and a rather large Christmas tree found itself in the middle of their foyer, but strangely remained undecorated. As Levi locked the door, the young doctor’s voice greeted him from behind a stack of rather large boxes that Levi was sure he had previously seen neatly stored in the spare room beside Erwin’s study, “Hey Levi! You’re home early.”
“Those boxes are literally taller and probably heavier than you are. How the hell did you bring them down?” He carefully stored his coat in their closet and made his way to her to peer into the boxes. He should have known they were Christmas ornaments.
“Levi! You’re home early,” came a booming voice from the kitchen, providing the answer to Levi’s question. Erwin picked up one of the boxes and nodded towards the Christmas tree, “We’re about to decorate the tree. You’re welcome to help, if you’re not busy?”
“We always decorate the tree together,” his cousin chimed in, sifting through one of the boxes, “We’re thinking of silver and gold this year. What do you think?”
Both Smiths trained their expectant blue gazes on him and Levi was sure that not even Scrooge would be able to refuse the combined potency of the cousins. Levi nodded and shifted the bag on his shoulder, “Let me just put my stuff away and change.”
Three hours later, the three of them sat on the floor with their glasses of whiskey, gazing up at the Christmas tree that was honestly more silver and gold ornaments than tree at that point, with carefully draped fairy lights twinkling amidst the branches. Levi had never seen a more beautiful tree in his life and he couldn’t believe he had a hand in it. His staff always made sure his store was decorated in a manner appropriate to every major Hallmark holiday and he was always grateful for their effort, but he had never actually participated in the decorating nor did he particularly care one way or another about the outcome. But as he glanced at the two Smiths and then back up at the tree they had just labored over, he actually felt proud. More than that, he felt an immense wave of gratitude for the doctor and the actuary. For the first time since his mom had passed away, he felt like he was finally home.
Christmas morning found the Smiths and Levi preparing for lunch with the usuals. Unlike Thanksgiving, when the Smiths had done most of the cooking, Christmas lunch was a potluck that was, of course, still carefully planned, with each person assigned a dish to bring for an agreed upon menu. Levi was assigned their drinks, but he had joined the Smiths in preparing their stuffed turkey and side of mash.
Hange, Mike and Nanaba joined the three around noon and, as Levi looked around the table that was full of content faces, food, spirits, and an abundance of laughter, he wondered how his life had gone from one that was solitary and quiet by choice, to this.
Although the designated holiday had already gone and passed, he gave thanks.
The morning after the doctor had departed, Levi found a package wrapped in brown paper and twine outside his door. Written in neat, precise strokes, a small note was tucked between the wrapper.
Happy holidays, Levi! See you new year’s eve! xx
The group had not exchanged gifts the day prior, but Levi had seen the younger Smith handing Mike, Nanaba and Hange similarly wrapped parcels on their way out the door. Levi had assumed that it was just her way. He had also helped her carry down two suitcases full of gifts the night prior, “for my friends at work and downtown,” which, to his mind (and from the weight of the bags) had accounted for the rest of the gifts she had bought a week ago.
Carefully tearing off the wrapping paper and opening the box, his heart caught in his throat when he saw the contents: a beautiful cast iron tea pot and a neatly folded black apron, just like the ones the Smiths had, with a pirate on it and a bold scroll that proclaimed Captain Cook. Already, he could picture the pleased, cheeky grin the doctor would have on her face once she saw him wearing her gift. Already, he could hear that laugh of hers that filled him up and warmed him like sunshine.
Levi’s heart stuttered.
“I’m well and truly fucked.”
The brownstone had felt suddenly empty after a week with all three of its inhabitants present. Levi and Erwin fell back into their usual routines, and Levi had found himself missing waking up and coming home to the younger Smith. Erwin seemed to be working longer hours as well, leading Levi to suspect that the actuary had actually deliberately cut his hours short the week prior to spend time with his cousin. Levi couldn’t blame him.
That entire week, all Levi could think about was the dark-haired, blue-eyed doctor. When did it happen? How did it happen? And would Erwin kick him out of the house if he found out?
He had sent her a brief message of thanks after opening the gift, and she had replied with a teasing, Hope you liked them! That apron is gonna look fantastic on you! See you soon xx
He had typed and erased several messages to her since then, but had ultimately ended up shoving his phone angrily into a drawer and slamming it shut, startling one of his employees, who had been working nearby. He ignored her and stormed off into his office to not think about the doctor. Another well-meaning employee had later knocked on his door to return his phone to him after finding it shoved between boxes of artificial sweeteners, and he had barked at them to get out and take his damn phone with them.
Levi ran a hand through his hair for the nth time that day and stood up abruptly from his desk. He was a 35-year-old man who has stayed single all his life by choice. He has never lost his damn mind over anyone before and he was not gonna start mooning over someone now.
He moodily made his way to the backroom of his bookshop, where they kept the rarer, more expensive books. As he began to dust the books and wipe the shelves for the second time that day, he suddenly stopped when his eyes caught the spine of a certain book. And, for the first time that week, his mind cleared and he let his heart do that damn dance it liked to do whenever he thought of blue eyes and warm smiles.
That evening, before Erwin came home, he snuck into the doctor’s room and left a carefully wrapped leather-bound edition of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice on her desk. Tucked inside was a note, carefully and thoughtfully written.
I am half agony, half hope.
Happy holidays, doc.
- Levi
It was a half hour before midnight on the last day of the year and Dr. Smith was very obviously absent from the festivities. She had messaged Erwin earlier that day that one of their patients had “an episode” that afternoon and that she’ll do her darndest to get home before midnight. Erwin relayed the message to the group, to which everyone appropriately expressed their concern and regret that she would be arriving late because of work.
Everyone on their block had gone outside to wait for the new year and the annual fireworks show that was held by the commercial center a couple of blocks away. Although their neighborhood was typically quiet and usually rather sparsely populated, it seemed most families had friends over that evening and the street had become unusually littered with people. Levi hung back by their stoop while the rest had gone to the middle of the street to mingle with the neighbors, claiming he felt the view would be better there. He was also hoping the younger Smith would still make it back home before midnight, and that he’d be able to catch her, should she head to the brownstone first before joining everyone on the road.
Levi watched with mild amusement as Nanaba and Hange tried to write words in the air with their sparklers as Mike took long exposure shots of the two. Erwin stood just to the side of Mike, trying to direct them. Hange glanced up to where Levi stood and waved him over, but he just nodded, waved back, and leaned back against their front door.
“Three minutes left!” someone a few houses down cried out, causing everyone to whoop and cheer. Levi watched as people started to automatically pair up in preparation for the countdown. Still, no sight of the doctor.
“Two minutes!”
Levi couldn’t explain how, but he felt her before he saw her. He looked to his right and saw a figure bundled in a white coat and white scarf, a pale pink pom beanie atop her head, dark strands peeking out beneath the rim. The figure looked up towards him and blue eyes met grey, causing Levi’s heart to once more stutter in his chest.
“One minute!”
His feet began to move before he knew what he was doing. His eyes stayed steady on hers, noticing how the sides of her eyes crinkled as they drew closer towards each other.
“Thirty seconds!”
He stopped in front of her and she tilted her head up at him, cornflower blue eyes peeking behind long dark lashes, “Hey you.”
“You made it.”
“I did.”
To both their surprise, his grey eyes warmed into a molten silver and he found himself smiling, “I remember you mentioned something about a kiss.”
She laughed, “I did. So did you need one?”
“Ten! Nine!”
He stepped closer to her and reached up to brush her hair away from her face. She leaned into his touch and sighed.
“Eight! Seven!”
“Will your cousin kick me out?”
She tilted her head a bit to look above his right shoulder, then smiled up at him again, “I don’t think so.”
“Six! Five!”
He wrapped his other arm around her waist, as she drew her arms around his neck. He pulled her closer until there was no longer a crowd. Just this. Just her.
“Four! Three!”
He leaned his forehead against hers and breathed out, “Good. Because it would be a pity and irony to have to move out to be with you.”
“Two! One!”
“I think you’re safe,” she murmured, their lips so close, it seemed like he felt her words more than he heard it, “Happy new year, Levi.”
“Happy new year,” he whispered back and kissed her, feeling his heart and soul burn in the best, most life-altering of ways, gradually, then all at once.