Chapter Text
He could feel all stares that were laid upon him. Discriminating, insolent, ill-mannered, uncouth stares. Judging his every move, silently telling him his existence was just a waste, a mistake. Telling him that he was nothing more than an inferior duplicate of Lucifer.
‘Stop! Stop! Stop!’
He silently cried
He had enough. He was too tired of it all
Tired of all the assumptions of who he truly was. All the rumors surrounding him that were nowhere near to be true. Why can’t anyone just understand him? To just listen to all his woes and bruises
“Hey Satan, darling, are you alright? You look quite pale”
Ah
Wait
There is someone
Someone who understands and cherishes him greatly
Someone who actually treats him equally or maybe even more
But why?
Why would someone care for him to that extent?
Because of…… love?
Someone loves him?
The avatar of wrath?
The monster who can’t even control his own emotions?
Impossible
He was nothing more than a beast, a gruesome beast that’s a much lesser existence of an omnipotent being
“Hey Darling, why aren’t you answering?”
His mind was traveling so far that he forgot that the angel was standing in front of him
“Oh, I’m sorry, I was thinking about something and I guess I dived in too deep”
He told him the half-truth. Along with a soft yet nervous chuckle
He didn’t want to lie to his partner nor did he want to tell him what was truly happening. Because he knows how the angel would react. It’d be too much and probably make his situation worse
“What were you thinking about?”
His lover asked him, eyes full of worry, care, and concern
“Nothing important, really”
Lies
“Alright then, I believe you. But if there’s anything wrong, promise that you’ll tell me”
“I promise”
The brunette gave his boyfriend a warm smile then a peck on the cheek
“Alright then, we better get to class now before it’s too late”
“Yeah, you’re right”
He agreed with a soft giggle
They both made their way into the classroom just in time before the bell rang.
The Class was the same as always. Took a couple of notes, the teacher endlessly discussing things that he already learned long ago via reading books, and it wouldn’t be a regular class without Mammon getting in trouble and it seemed like today he got in trouble because he kept throwing pencils at Levi to bother him so that he can borrow money. Typical Mammon.
The bell rang once again. Indicating that class was finally over. Simeon already informed Satan that he couldn't have him for lunch today because he promised Luke he’d go with him to help with his project. The demon understood that he had responsibilities but he couldn’t help but feel upset about it.
As soon as he stepped in the cafeteria, again, he could feel stares and whispers that were directed at him.
‘The angel isn’t with him today’
‘I told you they’d break up. How would a holy being truly treasure a monster like him’
‘Oh look, it’s that blonde copy of Lucifer’
‘Hey, it’s Satan. Keep your voice down. I heard he kill demons just because they annoy him’
‘What a monster’
‘Hideous’
‘Monstrous’
Satan glared at all of them which made them all quiet and minded their own businesses. But even with that, he couldn’t help but nail the dreadful things that were said about him in his head.
‘Maybe Simeon really doesn’t love me? What if he was forced to be with me. Like it’s like a mission or a trial or something.’
Intrusive thoughts filled his head as other demons started staring at him again. Staring at him with those piercing stares.
“Hey Satan you seem to be out of it again, are you sure you’re alright?”
A soft and gentle hand was laid on his shoulder but as his head was filled with demonic whispers, he wasn’t able to see who it was and slapped away the hand that was meant to comfort him.
When he finally managed to recollect his thoughts and was able to think clearly again, all he saw was Simeon with a shocked and hurt expression. Once again, the demonic whispers came back which overwhelmed him. He didn’t know what to do. It was overstimulating. All the eyes in the room darted at him, whispering, mocking, ridiculing, disrespecting him.
Satan wasn’t able to do anything but run. Ran away from what? Was it because of the overwhelming crowd or the look Simeon gave him?
What was it?
Was it the thought of rejection, non-acceptance, not being able to fit in?
He ran, ran, and ran until he reached HoL. He didn’t mean to come back here yet but he didn’t know where else to go. So he went in and hid.
Hid from everything he should’ve faced directly.
But it’s better this way, right?
Wrong
The silence made it worse. It made the whispers louder, blasting, deafening. As he recalled Simeon’s expression, it made it much, much worse. The voice started aggravating the upheaval whispers of the students.
He couldn’t help but to cover his ears and curl up into a ball.
Hours pass by and a knock can be heard from his door. But he ignored it. Choosing to be alone than to have someone to just mock and judge him. Soon enough, the knocking finally stopped.
It made Satan release a sigh of relief. He was glad that the person behind the door didn’t force themself in.
He stood up from his bed and started to look for a book. Hoping that it could distract him from those hellish thoughts.
But it didn’t
Each turn of the page, the louder the voices became. Every word that he read, reminded him of the insulting phrases said about him.
He couldn’t take it anymore and threw away the book which landed on the picture of him and Simeon.
The sounds of breaking glass once again reminded him how much of a monster he was.
Small droplets of tears started rolling down his cheek as he fell down onto his knees. Drowning, suffocating in the pool of dark thoughts his mind created.
He laid down back on his bed and started drifting to sleep.
He woke up to a bright ray of light flashing onto his face. It was already late yet no one woke him up. Well, it was to be expected either way.
Standing up, he felt dizzy. Probably because of all the crying last night. He started stretching out and as he was doing it, he saw the broken photo frame. He stopped what he was doing and started collecting the broken glass that was on the floor.
‘Ah’
As crimson red blood started dripping from his palm, he recalled the time when Simeon panicked when he cut his hand from a broken plate when they were washing the dishes.
The thought made him chuckle.
Simeon.
He started thinking about the angel once again and thought that he wouldn’t want to see him after what happened. After all, he looked really hurt.
He spent the entire afternoon in his room again. Tormenting himself even further. Fighting with his inner demons but clearly failing.
Another knock can be heard. And like yesterday, he tried to ignore it. But this time, the knock was more persistent and he got too annoyed to ignore it any further.
“Go away!”
He shouted at the person behind the door. Voice full of anger and rage.
“Darling, it’s me. We’re all worried about you. Please open the door”
It was Simeon.
He stood up and went to the door but as he grabbed the doorknob, intrusive thoughts began to fill his head once again.
‘Do you remember what the students said? That you’re a monster?’
‘You’re corrupting him then he’ll soon realize it and leave you without even looking back.’
‘He’s just using you. That’s why he’s giving you attention. Haven’t you learned from the past? They’re all the same. Foolish to think of you that he’s an exception.’
‘A monster like you doesn’t deserve to be loved.’
He froze and stared at the void. Head full of demonic whispers.
“Satan, please talk to me”
He couldn’t hear anything except a muffled voice calling out to him.
“Hey, are you still there?"
Simeon cried out to him once more.
This time, Satan regained his ability to hear but not his logical thinking.
“I already told you to go away. I don’t need anyone and I especially don’t need you."
He impulsively shouted at him behind the door.
The angel started walking away, footsteps becoming fainter and fainter by second until Satan couldn’t hear him anymore.