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Dan didn't want to be here.
He could honestly think of much better things to do with his time besides being forced to spend time with his family, but his opinion didn't really matter. He didn't want to start any arguments, so he'd just packed his things and gotten into the car.
It would be two hours before they reached the cabin his parents had rented for the next couple of months. Two hours stuck in the small car with his parents, little brother, and no internet. Not what he was looking forward to.
"Stop sulking so much, Dan." His mum said from up front. He knew that she was only trying to have some fun, but they could have very well gone without him. He was a socially awkward seventeen year old with three friends max and no will to move from his bed. It wasn't like he was gonna throw any parties soon. "This'll be great."
Dan stuffed his headphones into his ears, turning his music all the way and ignoring the disapproving look from his dad. He leaned his head against the window and closed his eyes. They'd woken up at six in the morning, and since Dan was nocturnal, he'd gotten a good three hours of sleep last night. This would be the perfect time to catch up.
~ ~ ~
Despite the fact that it was the middle of June, it was still overcast. The sky was a dull gray, thick with the threat of rain. Dan had no problem with staying inside the whole time.
The 'house' they were staying in was a smallish cabin with three bedrooms and one bathroom. There were other houses along the bank that surrounded a large, clear lake, but their place was situated a bit further into the tree line of the woods that sat behind it.
His younger brother, Jamie, pushed past him, racing through the scarcely furnished house excitedly. Dan wished he had an ounce of his nine year old giddiness.
His room was in the back of the house, with one huge window that opened up into the forest. Dan would definitely have to cover that up, no telling what kinds of things might be out here.
He threw his things onto the twin sized bed, not caring about unpacking at the moment. He'd have enough time to do that later. He decided to go out and explore his surroundings, effectively getting him away from his family for a while. It was only noon, he'd have a few hours, at least until it started raining.
"I'm going out." Dan said loudly as he walked into the lounge. Both his parents looked up in surprise, as if shocked that he wasn't holed up in his room, wallowing in his own teenage rebellion.
"Be back for dinner." his mum said, and Dan waved back at her.
The lake wasn't the greatest sight in the world, but Dan couldn't deny that it was pretty. It was really calm, reflecting the steely sky above perfectly without a single disturbance. There was no way he was swimming in it, though. Most likely filled with infection.
There was about a foot of sand on the shore, slightly dirty and filled with rocks and shells. Waiting to stab into your bare feet if you dared not to wear shoes.
"It's gonna rain soon, you know."
Dan looked up at the voice, hoping that it wasn't talking to him. But it was, the voice belonging to another guy about his age, with black hair and bright eyes. He walked over to where Dan was standing, stopping next to him and gazing at the water as well. "You probably wanna go inside soon."
"I'm fine." Dan said quietly, stuffing his hands in his pockets. It was quiet between them for a moment, and Dan almost couldn't handle the awkwardness of it. This guy was a complete stranger, for gods sake, but Dan had the overwhelming urge to not make a fool of himself in front of him.
"I'm Phil." The guy said after a while, and Dan glanced back up at him. He was smiling amiably, and Dan gave a half assed smile back.
"Dan." He replied.
"Are you just vacationing here then, Dan?" Phil asked, crossing his arms. Dan shifted slightly, not at all used to making small talk with strangers. But this guy seemed friendly enough. Or at least, he didn't seem like a serial killer.
"Yeah." Dan said. "Just for a couple months, till August. Me, my parents, and my brother."
"Same for me." Phil continued. "But it's just me and my mum."
Dan nodded, staring up at the sky warily. He could have sworn he felt a raindrop on his bare arm, as the sky was turning a more darker gray. He'd probably have to leave soon.
"You in high school?" Phil asked, bringing Dan back to their conversation.
"Um, yeah. Graduating next year."
Phil was just about to reply, but there was a muffled shout from somewhere down the bank. Dan couldn't be sure what had been said, but Phil looked back over at him with a sorry expression.
"That's my mum." he said dispiritedly. "She always worries about me. I have to go, but maybe I'll see you around?"
"Maybe." Dan said, and Phil shot him one last from before turning and running off to his own place.
Dan stood out by the lake for another ten minutes, thinking about exactly how much he was probably going to hate it here. Before a few more drops of water landed on his skin, and he decided it was about time he went back.
He glanced back down the makeshift beach, where Phil had gone, wondering if he actually would see him again. God knew he needed some kind of entertainment around here, and Phil actually seemed genuinely nice and interesting.
He stepped through the front door just as it started pouring down, his shirt starting to get stained with water. He told his parents that he wasn't hungry, and headed to his room. Ignoring the bags still on his bed, he pushed them to the floor, promising to unpack tomorrow, before climbing under the thin covers and attempting to go to sleep. It wasn't like he had anything to distract him now.
He really hoped this trip wasn't going to be totally lame.
~ ~ ~
"Yeah, I actually went to a concert of theirs a few months ago." Phil said, swinging his legs off the edge of the pier they were sat on, dangerously close the water. "Best and worse experience of my life. Had a headache for week, I swear."
Dan laughed along with him, folding his hands in his lap.
For the last couple of weeks, Dan and Phil had actually become really close friends. They had a lot in common with each other, especially music, which Dan was glad for. He didn't have too many people that shared the same interests as him, and it was fun having someone he could intensely discuss with.
"I don't think I'd ever go to a concert." Dan said with a chuckle. "I wouldn't be able to handle being around all those people by myself."
"It's a lot better if you have someone with you." Phil said. "I went with a boyfriend of mine, it was at least bearable."
Dan paused for a moment. Boyfriend? He knew that they had only known each other for a couple of weeks, but it still shocked him that there was something about Phil he hadn't known.
"That was a bad way to come out." Phil muttered, staring down at the water shyly.
"It's fine. I won't judge you." Dan said. Honestly, he'd been curious himself for a long time now about what his gender preference was, and had been hesitantly accepting that he was at least bisexual. Not that anyone needed to know.
Phil gave him a grateful smile, and they went back to discussing other general likes and dislikes.
~ ~ ~
He'd made a mistake. A terrible, horrible, life threatening mistake. Well, maybe not that serious, but it sure as hell was bad.
They'd been at this god forsaken place for almost four weeks now, and Dan had found solid residence in the company of Phil. He was probably the only person he'd ever meet that understood him on most levels and didn't take things too seriously. And his parents had also been happier about him getting out more.
One night, almost on the edge of midnight, Dan had found himself wide awake with nothing to do. There was no service or Internet out here, so his phone and computer were useless. His DS was dead and he was too lazy to charge it, and he'd run out of books to read. It was a sleep hazed, spur of the moment decision that had him grabbing his shoes and wandering out onto the makeshift beach/lake outside.
He thought that he'd be alone, seeing as most people wouldn't be awake at this time, but he was surprised to see another person standing a good distance away. A few seconds later, he realized it was Phil, which really made this situation all the better. At least he'd have someone to talk to now.
"Midnight skinny dipping, are we?" Dan said as he sidled up next to Phil, grinning as the boy jumped at his sudden appearance.
"Oh please." Phil scoffed mockingly. "As if anyone would ever get the pleasure of seeing my glorious body."
Dan laughed, an actual laugh. Something he hadn't done in a while. There was something about the strangeness of Phil Lester that made his day a lot better.
"Not even me?" Dan asked playfully, and Phil threw his head back in representation of some kind of sassy black women.
"You is not special." He said, and they both giggled.
They were the only ones out here, disrupting the silence of the night with their banter and joking around. It was a good thing there weren't too many houses around here, otherwise they would surely get called out.
Sometime later, maybe a few minutes or an hour, they were sprawled out across the ground, staring at the sky and just talking. The usual philosophical shit, life and death, and everything in between. Dan was actually really enjoying himself, letting out everything he usually kept to himself.
"Does your mum know you're gay?" Dan asked quietly, not sure if he was crossing a boundary. He looked over at Phil questioningly.
"Yeah." He replied. "She's perfectly fine with it. Just as long as I don't run off and get married until I'm at least thirty or whatever."
Dan smiled. Phil had a really weird family, but they seemed nice as hell. Three times better than his own at least. "Do you have a lot of boyfriends?"
Phil laughed at that and shook his head. "I'm very picky about boys. Not appearance wise or anything. Personality and all that matters to me though. I don't want to end up with an asshole for any period of time."
Dan nodded, and swallowed. "Have you ever, like... doubted yourself? About your preference?"
Phil looked over at him curiously. "What's with the twenty questions?" He asked sincerely. Dan shrugged. He didn't really have a reason for wanting to know, he just did. "I mean, I did for a little while. When I first accepted it, I thought it was a dirty little secret that no one was supposed to know about. Tried to have crushes on girls, but it didn't work at all. I just decided to fuck it all, and I told my mum I liked guys. Her support is what really helped me fully accept myself."
"I just..." Dan started, pausing with a sigh. "I'm sort of confused myself. About, my own... orientation." It felt really good, talking with someone else about this. He didn't know how his family would take it, and so he'd never shared. But here was someone who did know what they wanted.
"Well don't beat yourself up over it." Phil said. He leaned up on his elbows, staring down at Dan amiably. "Seriously, it's alright if you aren't sure about it. Just, take your time. And see what works for you." He finished with a grin.
Dan sat up himself, bringing his legs up to his chest and curling his arms around them. "But how long is that gonna take?" He asked solemnly. "I don't want to spend the rest of my life not being sure."
There was a hand on his back, and Dan leaned gratefully into the comforting gesture. "Experimenting is usually the quickest way to be sure."
Dan laughed. "As if I can just go up to some guy and say 'hey wanna make out? For research.'"
"It doesn't necessarily have to be kissing another guy." Phil said. "You know, there are... videos and, the sort, out there."
Dan states at him in shock. "You want me to watch gay porn?" Phil flushed red at his words, but didn't say anything against it. "Wow."
"It's just a suggestion." Phil argued, crossing his arms defensively. "You don't have to."
"You're adorable." Dan chuckled.
Phil scowled but didn't say anything. They sat there for a while, and Dan went through what Phil had told him. It really wasn't a bad idea, if he was honest. See if he got... aroused by that sort of thing. How far it went. It wasn't as if he hadn't thought about it before, but he'd never had the qualms to ever try it.
"Is that what you did?" Dan asked suddenly.
"Well." Phil waved his hand airily. "A bit of both, I guess. I wanted to be thorough."
The though of this boy, this innocent, shy, couldn't even say the word sex without blushing guy, watching porn had Dan feeling weird. Not in a bad way though.
"Wasn't it weird, though?" Dan asked, twisting his hands together anxiously.
"At first, yeah." Phil said. "Imagine if my mum had walked in on me or something. But after a bit, it was fine. Really."
"Did you....?" Dan really didn't want to finish that sentence. But Phil seemed to understand what he was asking, because he turned even redder and nodded. Wow. That was actually a hot mental image.
"Alright, let's stop talking about this." Phil said quickly. He was looking down at his lap, his hair falling into his face.
"I don't understand how you're seventeen." Dan said, grinning widely at Phil's eye roll. He himself was a virgin, but he had no problem discussing anything sexual. "Would you help me out if I did?"
Phil spluttered. "What? I don't.. I don't think that's. Honestly, I can't..."
"I didn't mean like that." Dan conceded, and now he was blushing. "Sorry, just, help me on how to get started and stuff."
"Oh." Phil said, digging his fingers into the ground underneath them. "Yeah sure. Sorry."
Dan stared up at the dark sky. It had to be almost one in the morning. "I mean." he said. "Would you, help me out the other way? If that was what I meant?"
Phil stayed silent for a while. Dan was sure that he'd done too far, and now Phil didn't want anything to do with him.
"I don't know." Phil said eventually. "I've never... helped someone before. I wouldn't be too experienced.
Dan glanced over at the embarrassed boy, his cheeks burning hot, and God he couldn't help himself. He leaned over, closing the distance between them and kissing him.
It was short, a few seconds, but it was amazing. Dan pulled away slightly, still touching noses with Phil, waiting for his reaction. He didn't know what had gotten into him, he didn't normally let his inhibitions go like that. Cause it was sure to only get him into trouble.
And then there were lips on his again, and oh lord, Phil was kissing him back. There were fingers lightly tracing along his jaw, down his throat and behind his neck, pulling him closer. Phil's tongue moved against his mouth gently, and Dan opened slightly, letting him in.
Fuck, this was nice. They weren't going fast, taking their time and fully savoring the feel and taste of each other. It was warm and sweet, the kind of kiss you'd want in a rainy day, or late at night in bed with each other.
Phil sucked on his bottom lip, and Dan sighed into his mouth. His heart was going crazy in his chest, telling him more, he wanted more, but he kept himself under control, letting Phil set their pace.
They kissed forever it seemed, under the cover of the night on that beach. Melding into one another in the best way possible. They weren't thinking about the fact that they hardly knew each other, or that this was going too fast. They just focused on each other.
And then Dan pulled away again. Out of breath, his cheeks red, but happy. This was good, he wanted this.
Then came the guilt.
Because who was he to do something like that? Kiss a guy because he was confused, and yeah, said guy was awesome and he didn't hate him, but that didn't give him the right. Phil had kissed him back, but what's not to say that he only did it out of.... friendliness or something. He was probably just giving Dan what he wanted.
"I'm sorry." Dan said, rubbing his mouth nervously. "I shouldn't... I shouldn't have done that."
Phil opened his mouth to say something, but Dan shook his head, standing up from the ground and rushing off without even looking back. He didn't need any explanation.
And now Dan just wanted to go back home. He didn't care if it would be boring as shit, or if he didn't have anybody else he could talk to. He didn't care if his family went back to scolding him for being such a recluse. He just wanted to leave here, pretend he hadn't fucked up so royally and move on.
He couldn't just forget something like that, though. Three days later, and he could still remember exactly how Phil's lips tasted, and how he loved the feel of his fingers running through his hair. It had been his first kiss with a guy, and he'd enjoyed it immensely.
He hadn't left his room since, staring up at the water stained ceiling glumly and hating himself. He ignored his family's attempts at trying to get him to come out, responding that he didn't feel good.
It wasn't exactly a lie.
~ ~ ~
Dan was splayed out across the slightly damp ground, staring up at the sky that was starting to turn a deep shade of purple. He could hear his family a few feet away from him, his parents talking and laughing and Jamie running around, dangerously close to the edge of the water.
He'd been forced to come out of his room and spend some quality time with family. They had a couple of weeks left until they left, and 'he wasn't going to spend it sulking in his room'.
He closed his eyes and sighed, folding his arms behind his head and trying to relax. He'd been wound up ever since he'd come outside, worried he'd run into Phil. After avoiding him for so long, it would be nothing but awkward.
It was actually nice being outside again. Honestly, he didn't like being holed up all day everyday, and much preferred the fresh air.
He was just starting to calm down and even work up the will to go and actually join his family when someone sat down beside him.
"Hey."
Dan opened his eyes warily and inwardly groaned as Phil's blue eyes flashed down at him. He sat up slowly, leaning back on his hands. "Hey." He said.
It was painfully silent between them for what felt like years, and Dan stared down at his legs. What was he supposed to say? Were they going to talk about it? Pretend it didn't happen? They'd probably never see each other again, there wasn't a valid reason for them to discuss it.
"Look," Phil said, rubbing his face. "I don't want things to be weird between us, okay? What happened that night, it doesn't have to ruin our friendship. I... I kinda miss you."
Dan looked up at him, noting the shy smile on his face and the way his hands were fiddling together in his lap. He looked very anxious, and Dan couldn't help but think he was absolutely adorable.
"It's fine." Dan said. Even though it still made his stomach twist, he would let it go and move on. No point in dwelling on it, really. "I don't want it to get in the way either."
Phil smiled at him, and Dan could see the obvious relief on his face.
Just then, Jaime let out an ungodly screech from almost a foot away, and Dan heard his parents laughing. Phil looked back at them with a grin and Dan buried his face into his hands.
"That's your family, then?" Phil asked, and Dan grunted. "They seem very... entertaining."
"That's one word for it." Dan replied, ignoring Phil's snarky look.
"You think they'd let you go for a few hours?"
Dan looked up questioningly. "What do you mean?" He asked.
"It's boring with just my mum." Phil said with a shrug. "I thought we could start repairing the fragile bits of our cracked friendship with alcohol and nature."
Dan smirked. "That's probably the worst combination of things I've ever heard." Phil shoved him lightly.
"You know you want to to." He said, and as if to prove his point, Jamie came running at them, jumping onto Dan's back and clinging tightly to his neck.
"Danny!" He screeched right into his ear, and despite the fact that his hands were sticky with God knows what, Dan laughed and stood up, hoisting his little brother higher and running around in circles. Jamie was laughing and squealing, holding on for dear life, and Dan had this weird airy feeling in his chest. It was nice.
After a minute of this, Dan headed over to his parents, out of breath and smiling.
"Hey, can I go hang out for a while?" He asked, depositing his brother back on the ground and staring at his parents hopefully. "Um. Phil wanted to know if we could walk out along the woods. I won't be out late, I promise, and I'll be safe and all that." He already knew what they were going to say, but waited patiently as they conversed.
"I guess it wouldn't be a problem." his mum said off handedly, but Dan could hear the happiness in her tone. "As long as you don't go around acting like a hooligan."
"No promises." Dan said, and before they could say anything else, he ran off, waving at them and heading back to Phil, grabbing his hand and pulling him along. "Let's go, then."
Phil smiled, tightening his grip and picking up his speed.
~ ~ ~
"Shhhhut the fuck up." Dan whispered, giggling as Phil shushed him right back with a pout. He was trying to unlock the door, but was having trouble with his blurry vision and Phil singing show tunes off key behind him.
It was almost dawn, and they had spent the last few hours in the small forest behind their houses, drinking and talking. It was mindless self indulgence, no purpose but to kill some time and hang out.
And now Dan was seeing about three of everything.
After another few minutes of struggling, Dan finally got the key into the lock and twisted, spilling them both into the dark living room. Phil almost tripped, and Dan grabbed his arm to stabilize him.
"I'm gonna stay here tonight." Phil mumbled, clutching Dan's shirt and leaning against him as they stumbled through the house. "Mines too far away."
"Don't, make a mess or anything." Dan said, and Phil laughed again.
They ran into two walls and Phil fell once before they finally reached Dan's room. Phil pulled away from him, leaning up against the dresser as Dan collapsed onto the bed.
"What're you doin'" Dan asked, watching as Phil peeled off his shirt clumsily.
"Too hot." Phil said, throwing the shirt to the side. "Can't sleep in clothes." he proceeded to to undo the catch of his jeans, and Dan rolled over to shamelessly watch as Phil's thighs came into view. His boxers were clinging to his hips and ass, and Dan bit his lip.
Phil climbed over him onto the smallish bed. "Move over." He complained.
"I can't, it's way too small up here."
"Why's it so small?"
"Stop digging your elbows into me."
"I can't help it!"
"Shut it, my parents are asleep."
They spent a minute getting comfortable, and after that, they both lay on their sides, facing each other. Dan watched as Phil licked his lips, his eyelids fluttering slightly. They were both hazy and a bit out of it, but Phil was probably worse off, he'd had way more to drink than Dan.
"Hey, Phil?" Dan asked a moment later, watching as Phil focused on him.
"Hm? Wha'is it?"
"The other day, when I kissed you." He paused. "Was I bad at it? Kissing, I mean."
Phil shifted slightly, and Dan saw him grin lazily. "Nah." he said. "Best kiss I've had in a while."
"Yeah?" Dan asked. Phil nodded. "I'd never kissed a guy before you."
Phil yawned, throwing his arm across his face. "Couldn't tell. Pretty good at it." He opened his eyes again. "It's fun though, right? Kissing people?"
"From my limited experience, yeah." Dan said with a laugh. He glanced down slightly, not even concealing the fact that he was staring at Phil's bare chest. He was kinda gorgeous.
"I was your first kiss?" Phil asked and Dan nodded. "Aw, sorry."
"What for?"
"That you had to lose your mouth virginity to me. Must've been lousy."
Dan shook his head, rubbing his eyes. "You were perfectly fine."
"You could have had someone better, though."
Dan didn't say anything, finding it pointless to try and argue with drunk Phil. "Would you do it again?" He asked instead. "If you had to. Kiss me, I mean."
Rather than answering, Phil rolled into his side and stared at Dan. His eyes were half closed and his hair was hanging into his face, and Dan's breath caught in his throat. Fuck, he's out of my league.
Phil got up on his elbow, leaning over somewhat clumsily and pressed his lips against Dan's in the dark. It was a bit sloppy since they weren't at their most coordinated, but Dan closed his eyes and kissed him back.
This was not a good idea. Making out with each other while they were both slightly intoxicated couldn't possibly have a good outcome. But damn, the feel of Phil's lips on his own, and his hands running over Dan's shoulders and down his stomach sent him into a place where he didn't care.
Phil moved, straddling Dan's hips and pushing his fingers under the fabric of his shirt. His hands were cold and Dan shivered at the contact. He moved one of his hands from his sides to Phil's waist. He didn't really know what to do, so they just stayed there lightly. Phil traced his tongue across Dan's lips, and Dan opened his mouth so Phil could press into it hotly.
God, he was so turned on. They were barely touching, but Dan could feel himself getting hard as Phil continued kissing him fiercely. He couldn't help his hands from moving around and clutching Phil's back almost desperately, scared to move his hips and make any contact below the belt. He didn't know how far this was going.
"Take this off." Phil muttered, tugging at the hem of Dan's shirt. Dan sat up and pulled the shirt off, throwing it to the side, and Phil started kissing him again, tangling his fingers roughly into his hair.
This was too much. All the kissing and the grabbing, Phil pressing against him in all the right ways, left him breathless and light headed. He pulled away quickly, grabbing Phil's wrists to stop his wandering hands.
"We shouldn't." Dan breathed. "We shouldn't do this."
Phil nuzzled against his cheek gently. "Please." He said, almost a whisper. "I've wanted to do this for a while."
Dan swallowed. Fuck, he'd wanted to do this for a while too. Phil kissed his ear softly, then his jaw, and Dan turned his head to claim his lips again. He'd worry about the consequences later.
Phil pushed him back onto the bed roughly. His teeth pulled at Dan's bottom lip, and he groaned. He let go of Phil's hands, relishing in the feel of them running across his chest and his sides. He moved his own hands up Phil exposed thighs, fingering the edge of his boxers. Further up, to the top of his underwear, his fingers pulling at the fabric nervously, slipping under and-
-Phil grabbed his hands, pulling them away from his legs and pushing them up beside his head. He stared down at him intensely. "Not that far."
"I want to." Dan argued, but Phil shook his head.
"I'm not taking advantage of you like that." Dan opened his mouth to protest, but Phil cut him off. "You have no idea how badly I want you to, Dan, seriously. But you're drunk, we both are. And your parents are asleep. So let's try and keep it PG, yeah?"
Dan nodded reluctantly, and they continued on, just kissing and touching in mild places. It was almost painful, keeping himself under control, but he managed.
~ ~ ~
Dan jolted awake to the sound of his door being slammed open and Jaime jumping on top of him excitedly.
"Ooh, Danny and his boyfriend are naked!" He shouted, and Dan groaned as his head pounded at the noise. He carefully rolled Jamie off of him and sat up.
"Quiet." Dan said, partly because of his headache and because he didn't want his parents overhearing anything. They didn't even know yet that Phil had spent the night.
He wasn't actually naked, thank god for that, but he was dangerously close. He pulled the covers up to his chest and flopped back onto his pillows. This morning was going to be shit.
Jamie finally left after a few terse words from Dan, and it was blissfully quiet again. Which left him thinking.
What did this make them now? Last night, what had happened... that didn't usually happen between friends. Was this just a one time thing? They couldn't possibly be anything serious, they'd never see each other again after they left.
He jumped suddenly as a hand swept lightly across his stomach. He looked over and saw Phil staring at him his eyes still half closed with sleep.
"Hey." Dan said softly, sighing inwardly as Phil continued exploring his chest. his hands were really soft.
"Hey." Phil replied, smiling slightly.
They lay there in silence for a while, not wanting to ruin the calm that surrounded them. They weren't going to talk about last night. They weren't going to mess up anything, they would just lay here right now and relish in each other's presence. Dan could hear his family not too far away, most likely eating breakfast. They wouldn't be too worried about him, he didn't usually come out of his room until well past noon. Unless Jamie decided to blab about his 'naked boyfriend'.
Phil moved in closer, pushing his head into Dan's neck, and Dan wrapped an arm around him.
~ ~ ~
Dan sat on the damp ground next to the lake, pulling the sleeves of his sweater over his hands and staring out at the waters surface.
It was gonna rain, that much was certain from the steely gray of the clouds above. His parents had told him to be back by eight, and it was half past seven now. They'd been enforcing these nights that made Dan spend at least two hours with them. He felt like he needed some sort of freedom before being stuck with them.
"What's up, loser?" Phil said cheerfully, plopping down next to him. Dan rolled his eyes but still smiled.
"Hey." He said.
"Why do you always sit out here in the worst kind of weather?" Phil asked, staring at the dull sky questioningly. There were a few stars peeking out from the darkness.
"It's... calming." Dan replied with a shrug. He preferred rain and fog to sunshine any day, he couldn't really explain it.
Him and Phil had been spending a lot of time together the last week and a half. Time spent mostly kissing in various places and slowly getting to know each other's bodies. It was the hi-light of Dan's day, really.
"Hey." Phil said after a moment. "You see that star?"
Dan glanced up to where he was pointing. "Yeah."
"It says you're a nerd."
Dan shoved him roughly, ignoring Phil's boisterous laughter as he fell back into the ground.
"Shut up." He said.
"Come here." Phil said from where he was laying. Dan stared at him suspiciously, eyeing his outstretched arms, before sighing and leaning over him.
Their lips met gently, and Dan rested his hands on Phil's hips. Phil hummed slightly and pulled away.
"You wanna come over to mine? He asked, smirking. "My mums gone for a few hours. Place is empty."
"Mm." Dan laughed. "I would love to. But I can't."
Phil kissed him again, quickly, and pouted at him. "What about later? We could sneak out here after everyone's asleep."
"I really think we should focus more on getting to know each other better instead of taking our clothes off every chance we get." Dan said, ignoring Phil's scowl.
"But I like you with your clothes off." Phil said. Dan slapped his chest.
"We can make out tomorrow." Dan said as he stood up, brushing the dirt from his jeans. Phil followed suit, and they headed back to Dan's house.
"See you later then?" Phil said, when they reached their destination. Dan nodded before turning and heading inside.
His family were all dat in the living room, sprawled across the couches, and Jamie was on the floor.
"Glad you could finally join us." his dad said as Dan slumped in a chair in the corner. "We're watching a movie."
"Sounds great." Dan said. He looked around, realizing everyone was staring at him. "What?"
"Nothing." His mum said, smiling slyly. She leaned back against her husband and pressed play on the remote. Dan shook his head and turned back to the television, trying to fight the smile playing on his lips.
And failing.
~ ~ ~
The sun was starting to rise, Dan could see through the thin curtains covering Phil's window. They'd been up all night, talking and kissing and doing nothing and everything.
Phil was curled up beside him, fast asleep. His head was on Dan's chest, his breath fluttering across his neck gently. Dan stared up at the ceiling.
He was leaving tomorrow. Today was his last day, and then he'd be gone. He hadn't really given it much thought before, leaving and never seeing Phil again, but now it was worrying him. For what reason, he didn't know. They'd had fun, yeah. But that's all it was. Fun. A summer fling thing that they would enjoy while it lasted before splitting was and moving on.
But right now, at close to six o'clock in the morning, Dan didn't want to leave. This was the happiest he could remember being, and in less than twenty four hours, it would be gone.
Phil shifted beside him, snuggling in closer to Dan, and Dan buried his face into his hair. This was all complicated. It wasn't supposed to be like this. He wasn't supposed to be missing it already, knowing it would be gone soon. He was being clingy.
"What the hell're you doin' awake?" Phil whispered, and Dan looked down at him.
"Couldn't sleep." He replied.
"Stop thinking about it." Phil said, reaching around and tangling their fingers together. Dan hated that they'd only known each other a month and Phil knew him better than everyone. "You said it didn't bother you."
"Well, I lied." Dan said grudgingly, looking up as Phil sat up and stared down at him. "Sorry, but... you're like the best thing that's happened to me in a long time. And when I leave tomorrow, it's gonna be the worst."
"You'll be fine, Dan." Phil said reassuringly, laying back down, still holding Dan's hand. "You'll forget all about me eventually. And you'll have some other boy to make out with whenever."
Dan sighed, but didn't argue.
~ ~ ~
Everything was all packed up and Dan's family was waiting for him out by the car. But Dan himself was in the small forest, sitting on the ground and picking at leaves and grass. He'd begged for just five more minutes, and when his parents had agreed, he'd called Phil and told him to meet him. And now he was waiting.
His stomach was twisting anxiously and he felt like he was going to throw up. This was just his luck, wasn't it. Going on this stupid vacation and making friend with the beautiful and stupid and amazing Phil Lester. In all those books he always read, the two protagonist always ended up together. But no, he was just Dan, why should anything go right for him?
There was a rustle behind him, and Phil showed up, staring at Dan for a second before siting down as well. They didn't say anything for a while, Dan knew he had to hurry or his family would start looking for him.
"I'm gonna miss you, alright?" He rushed out, twirling a blade of grass in his fingers. "I don't care how desperate that makes me. I wish I didn't have to leave. I wish we didn't live so far apart. I want... I want to remember you. For a while."
"Me too." Phil said with a laugh. "Honestly? This has had to be the best couple of months of my life. And I hate that it's ending."
Dan nodded.
They had agreed that any kind of long distance relationship would only make things worse. Only being able to communicate through messaging and crappy webcam. This was it. They were cutting it all off.
"My family's waiting." Dan said. Phil stood up, brushing his jeans off and reaching down to help Dan up too. Phil pulled him into a hug, and Dan buried his face into his neck, clutching his back tightly and closing his eyes. Maybe he'd always remember how Phil smelled. Like vanilla and something fruity.
They pulled apart, and Phil shot him one last smile before turning. And leaving. Dan watched his back until he was gone completely. He was not going to cry.
He made his way slowly back the way he'd come, until he finally reached the car. His family were already piled up inside, so he climbed into the backseat, slamming the door and resting his head on the window. He was not going to cry.
"You sure you have everything?" His mum asked softly, sensing Dan's bad mood. Dan nodded. He saw someone on the beach, further down, and could swear he saw the tell tale black hair and plaid shirt.
He closed his eyes as the car started, trying to get them to stop burning.