Chapter Text
There was never a first meeting for them.
All four of them are feasting on the pulled pork pieces, grease tipping on the cheap plastic table whenever one took a serving. Jeongyeon finds it unnecessary to have worn her warmest sweatshirt on such a day. She's very much thankful for Nayeon to choose outdoor seating. The occasional gust of wind helps to ease out the heat from the weather and meal. She finishes before everyone else.
In all of the meal's time, Nayeon, Momo and Sana are discussing for Momo's birthday. She already knows the plan. The other two and her had already gone through all the details of it beforehand. This time, it's the fake plan of sending Momo to Jihyo's house for the upcoming test. Momo's smirk is enough to tell her that she is doing all those robotic, timed nods only for the sake of playing long.
With a nudge to her ribs, she notices Sana, the only one in a t-shirt and then the elbow, silently requesting.
"What?"
"Mm-hm" is what Sana manages to garble out with her cheeks puffed out. Her line of sight points to her left shoulder. "Can you pull my bra strap back? I can feel it sliding down and its really itching me."
You know that season of the year where it's not particularly too cold or too hot, but you can't have ice cream, else you'll have a sore throat. It's exactly (or maybe not) the reason why Sana is in a half-sleeve t-shirt. Still, it is a little cold to wear that. She remembers to ask Sana about it later.
Before Jeongyeon can retort with the obvious question, Sana interrupts her with a no, I can't do it myself, my hands are all oily.
Jeongyeon knows she shouldn't take a lot of time to reply back or Sana will notice that she has frozen. Momo and Nayeon who are currently immersed in their own world, will notice it too. Jeongyeon can't reply because the arm flailing up and down seems like Sana has run out of patience.
Wordlessly, Jeongyeon does what is told, and it seems like it took forever to do so. She doesn't even try to touch Sana's skin, just uses her t-shirt as leverage to slide it back up. She mumbles a quick welcome to Sana's thanks.
God, she feels so awkward and out of the place now. It's just ... Sana, she reminds herself.
" —and then she proceeded to— Jeongyeon, why is your face so red?" Yes, Nayeon, bring up why my face is so red.
And now, this is exactly the perfect time for her brain to skkrt. She reminds herself, for the love of God, please, do not stutter.
"Ah, you know." She plucks her sweatshirt and avoids the sudden attention from the three. "It's hot." She replies with gritted teeth and , a motion to forget the topic. Jeongyeon opens her phone, swipes through the home screen thrice, opens the photos app and locks it again.
"Ok, so, I think we're done for today? I'm going to go back to the room to study for my last exam." Jeongyeon stands, picking her bag up. The 'I'm fucking done with this semester' doesn't go unnoticed.
"Oh, I'll walk with you." Sana chirps in. "I have to get some stuff from the library."
Momo cuts in with a smirk. "Ooh, you mean you have to get some stuff from the most common make out spot in the university. Cool, cool, cool."
Sana leans her upper body to Momo's eye level and with the horrid look on Momo's face, Jeongyeon knows that Momo is going to suffer. "Well, wouldn't you like to use that spot." With an exaggerated wink, she closes Momo's wide open jaw and proceeds to link arms with Jeongyeon.
Jeongyeon doesn't know what to make of Sana.
~
How did they meet? Well, they never had a proper one.
(They were in school together but Jeongyeon was never good at small talks. They used to wait together for Momo's class to wind up. Not together together, but pure luck. The first time she saw Sana, she made sure not to think too much of her. This might be the first and last meet with her.
The second time she saw her, Jeongyeon was inquisitive to talk to her. Obviously, Jeongyeon didn't speak up. Sana was way too engrossed in her crossword.
At that time, Sana had small peaks of sunshine behind the timid and tight-lipped smile of the new student from Osaka. Only responded in basic formal phrases. That year, Jeongyeon graduated and joined Nayeon to college and Sana — well Sana waited alone. That was fine too.)
Sophomore year started, and so did Sana and Momo's fresher year. Sana was Nayeon's roommate and Momo's best friend. With them always as her company, it was bound to happen.
Even right now, Sana doesn't make Jeongyeon feel that they have never had a one-on-one conversation. There is something in the way Sana's fingertips are curled around her wrist, lulling her into a sense of familiarness — as if they've done this their whole lives.
(Both of them know about each other's likes, which is funny, considering neither of them spoke about it directly. Nayeon talks about Momo all the time to Jeongyeon, making the much evident crush much more evident. So, it doesn't go out of notice when Nayeon absentmindedly slips a thing or two about Sana out of the hundred-Momo-included sentences.
Jeongyeon doesn't know what to do about it.
So, she remembers them. Dislikes coffee. Hoards the bathroom and doesn't let Nayeon get ready on time. Jeongyeon snickers at the thought of a pissed off Nayeon in her PJs glaring at zero-fucks-given-perfect-from-head-to-toe Sana fresh out of the bathroom. Really popular in college. She didn't need Nayeon to tell that to her. Along with other things.)
"Do you need help to carry books or something?" Jeongyeon asks, just something to talk to Sana about.
Sana has that playfulness in her voice, the one that comes when she knows she has someone cornered.
"Unless you want to be my make out partner, I think I'm good."
And its new. For it to be directed at Jeongyeon. Sana waits for her reaction, and is a little surprised of how well Jeongyeon masks her blush with a side eye followed by an eye roll.
“I’ll take a rain check on that.”
(They both know the help would've been of little to no use. Jeongyeon's wrist is still weak to go back to normal functioning, but no one brings that up.)
~
Jeongyeon has no idea of how much a calming presence she has on Sana. It's sometimes the littlest of decisions. Sometimes so little and so big at the same time. It makes her wonder how can she read people so easily. Sometimes, she wishes it was just her.
It's when she wants to go for hot chocolate but Nayeon is—quite disgustingly—giving heart eyes and dreamy sighs to Momo's all-you-can-eat-buffet story on how she managed to finish a meal of four all by herself.
She doesn't even need to reach out to ask Jeongyeon because Jeongyeon is already grabbing her coat from the wire rack and pocketing her wallet.
"They get lost in each other a lot these days." Jeongyeon adjusts the collar of her coat as she looks back at Sana to catch up.
Sana knows, Jeongyeon would've never said this in front of Nayeon and Momo. They need to pop their bubble on their own. Some things need to go on their own pace.
The winter breeze makes her blonde hair—a drastic change from the emerald she had—all floofed up with light wisps curtaining through her locks.
Sana watches it unravel in slow motion—watches herself unravel in that moment.
It's as if she has detached from her body and she sickeningly watches herself beam at the sight of this Jeongyeon.
I wish I could get lost in you too.
And, then she wonders.
When did she start to give Jeongyeon more of her?
Was it when Jeongyeon held her hand while crossing, making sure she's always walking in front of her or by her side, never behind.
Or that time when her heart swelled on reading a supposedly anonymous note—'if there is anyone in the world who can go through it, it is you'.
(That day wasn't particularly good, she was fresh out of an argument on the phone with her mother and she felt more awful thinking that her mood would ruin the lunch with others.
Cancelling this late would've raised questions Sana was not in the state of answer. She had tried to keep her facade on well but sometimes a quick glance from Jeongyeon would tell her that she's not really good at this.
At the end of it, Jeongyeon had eyes on her for the whole night, treading carefully on the trail laid by Sana's thoughts.
She had offered to walk her back to her room. Jeongyeon never pried on asking what was bothering her, respecting where she stood for Sana.
Had Jeongyeon asked about it, Sana wouldn't have hesitated to bare what her soul aches to speak.
When they reached Sana's room, Sana didn't ask Jeongyeon to come in. It wasn't the first time for Jeongyeon either. Sana had excused herself to the washroom. When she returned, she saw Jeongyeon standing with hands in her pockets at the same position that she left her to.
When Jeongyeon's gaze reached her, she unfurled her hand out, inviting Sana to whatever Jeongyeon was planning to do.
What she didn't expect was to be pulled down on the floor, akin to making snow fairies on the snow—limbs all spread out.
Sana raises her head sideways to look at Jeongyeon, who refuses to make eye contact with her. "What exactly are we doing?"
"We are," Jeongyeon starts as her eyes slip shut and grin grows wider, "lying down on the floor. Isn't this fun? Whenever I get too worried in life, I lie down on the floor. I roll all my worries like a newspaper roll and throw them out of the window. You know, like this."
Jeongyeon does this little action of throwing with special sound effects. She opens her eyes and finally looks at Sana.
"You should try it." Jeongyeon speaks with such adoration, just like a child believing in Santa.
Equal parts mesmerised and baffled, Sana sighs. The cold floor on her contrasting warm skin gives her goosebumps. She stares at the ceiling where it meets the wall, how the white tunes down to a warm yellow.
And then, she finally closes her eyes.
Sana feels the taut strings in her chest loosen up as she rolls the newspaper. By the time she throws the newspaper roll, a smile has started to grow on her face.
"Did it work?" An amused Jeongyeon is nothing new, but this—hair falling on her face as she waits for Sana to open her eyes, Jeongyeon this close, so close that she can smell the soft cedar perfume she usually wears—makes Sana almost want to cry. In a good way.
"Yeah," Sana watches Jeongyeon watching her, one eyebrow slightly raised, eyes shifting from one to another. "It did."
Sana doesn't need to fill the silence when she's with Jeongyeon. Jeongyeon, too, seems to be too busy staring at Sana shamelessly. No words were exchanged, both of them content with the warmth in their hands.
The next day, as she swings on her jacket with a determined look— akin to a main character of a coming-of-age movie—she feels a small piece in her pocket. Sana shakes her head about the fact that Jeongyeon didn't even try to mask up her handwriting.)
"I'm used to third-wheeling by now, even though nothing is official." Sana watches as Jeongyeon carries both of their cups and nudges her hip by hers when they find an empty table.
Autumn leaves have started to shed.
Sana bewilders how birds start to chirp the immediate moment Jeongyeon passes by them.
How at dusk, the sun makes a painting of orange casted hues on Jeongyeon, leaning on the boundary wall, watching the sun going for the second shift on the other side.
How at night, all the stars seem to swim in Jeongyeon's eyes.
Nature and her are not that too different, she realises.
Just like nature, Sana longs to be close to Jeongyeon.
~
Sana rounds up the table with hot , steaming coffee mugs in her hand.
The moonlight ducks in through the long window beside their table. The library furniture is really not the best for an all nighter, but Jeongyeon knows she would've ended up sleeping in her room with the lights on.
"Sana." Jeongyeon pauses. "You really don't have to do this." She sighs, knowing there is no way Sana won't take offense. Don't get her wrong, she appreciates the coffee but she would rather prefer if Sana didn't bring it as an obligation.
"But you're going to be up all night, after all our star student needs all the energy she can get." The sentence starts with a whine, something along the lines of just take the damn coffee, and finishes with a fair reason to cover it up with.
The coffee mug is already set near the corner of her open Macroeconomics book. Jeongyeon finds it so tempting, just to reach out and take that first sip of the freshly grounded beans. But, she also doesn't want her tongue to get a burn. Patience is the key.
Sana sets up her books on the table and wears her spectacles. Jeongyeon adores it when Sana wears her glasses, especially now. She doesn't really get why she doesn't wear it all the time while studying, after
all, she needs it all the time. Why go through the hassle of wearing contacts.
Jeongyeon realises she has been staring. More like, been caught staring.
She clears her throat and cracks her fingers. "Let's start, hm?"
With an over-excited nod as a response—which almost looks like a shiver— she starts with the most dreaded topic.
With each and every sip Jeongyeon takes, she can feel her brain juices activating and giving her a better reasoning of what's written in the textbook. Exactly 17 minutes afterwards, Sana stretches her arms over her head, does her little twists in her seats. Jeongyeon can feel the sleepiness radiating from her—small buzzes of electricity tingling Jeongyeon to just say fuck it and go to sleep.
After 4 minutes, Sana declares more for herself than Jeongyeon. "Jeongyeon-ah, I'm going to take a quick nap. Can you wake me up in 15 minutes?"
"Hm, sure thing."
The moment Sana's head hits —quite literally— the table, Jeongyeon can see her body slumping even further, as if it is the most comforting pillow she's laid her head on. In another 8 minutes, she knows, Sana will be sound asleep.
After the 8 minute count, she counts backward from 30 and then as quietly as she can be, zips down her jacket and then covers Sana's bare arms with it. Sana's face is away from her and even though she can't read people well, she hopes Sana sleeps cozily.
She gets close to Sana but not enough to disturb her. "You're not a good study buddy, Sana-yah." She whispers to no one. She does one last look around over Sana and makes sure to wind up in less than an hour or else Sana will end up with horrible neck pain.
(Sana watches Jeongyeon with curious eyes through the glass plane, is transfixed on each and every movement of Jeongyeon— of how careful she is around her. She watches Jeongyeon's reflection hesitating to put over the jacket on her, how her eyes are always gentle when Sana's not looking.
She wishes to say it out loud, speak it to Jeongyeon, has been itching her from the very first day— what is holding you back, it's alright if you're near. just come closer.
Sana screws her eyes shut when she feels movement behind her. What she feels in the darkness is Jeongyeon removing her glasses. "You should wear them more often Sana-yah, you look pretty."
Right now she's content with the warmth that she's enveloped in. The scent that Jeongyeon wears daily is intoxicating and she can feels herself being hugged by Jeongyeon.