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"Seb, what was your first kiss like?"
Sebastian felt himself blush furiously. The casual conversation they had been having until then, strucked by the sudden question.
Lewis only smiled slightly at him as he arched his eyebrows slightly in surprise.
"Seb?"
"What about yours?"
"Mine sucked... But maybe I had too many expectations, you know? To be kissed in such a way that it's a bit surprising, but then it's more intense and you have to pull away even if you don't want to because the mere contact takes your breath away."
The vision unraveled in his mind with every single word Lewis added, words that sank hard and deep into his brain, as he began to remember his first kiss.
"Have you ever been kissed like that?" Sebastian sighed and shook his head.
"No, I don't think I have."
And it just hadn't been his case. He'd only kissed one person his entire life, his childhood sweetheart, his to-be wife.
And what he would never to tell Lewis, was that his first kiss with Hanna had been dreadful. His irrepressible, youthful impulse contrasted with the blonde's shyness in a kiss that was more the impact of his teeth on her lower lip than any other thing.
But that wasn't reason enough for them to stop dating, reaching a monotony of countless kisses that were either a simple brush of lips or a passionate French kiss in their moments of intimacy.
But Sebastian knew that neither of those were what Lewis was referring to.
Lewis was referring to an emotional kiss, a heartwarming loving kiss, of those you're suppose to share with your first love.
One of those kisses where you pour your feelings in and stop holding your breath, releasing that sigh of relief at finally having your loved one close, feeling their nerves build up and fall apart, breathing the same air and suddenly it's all too much, and you have to pull away for a moment to breathe again and realise that it's not a dream, that it's really happening.
But no, Seb hadn't had one of those, and Lewis could tell by noticing the blank stare and the sad curve of his lips as he denied.
"Why?" He just asked.
Because, while he cared and liked Hanna at the time of their first kiss, he wasn't in love with her.
And though he wanted to convince himself that he was going to fall for her at some point... That he just needed time... it was too late.
Because he had already met Lewis Hamilton.
The feisty, rebellious boy, turned prodigy, turned star rookie, turned world champion and one of the best drivers in history.
But Seb always saw beyond that. He didn't just know that Lewis was the best the sport had to offer.
He also knew that Lewis was a kind man, devoted to God and to his family; and generous to his community. He was caring, sensitive, smiley and despite the bad boy façade, the power, money and fame, among other things born to corrupt any man... Lewis remained his strong authentic self.
And yes, he may have developed a fascination with fashion, music, extreme sports and LA clubs. He may be impassive, he may make stirring comments and polemical declarations that appeared in magazines around the world..
But those were always true to his convictions, to the ethic he was grown with, and never loosing his simplicity. Never loosing his beautiful nature and love for life.
And just as Lewis loved life... He loved Lewis.
There could never be another person in his heart, as long as there was a Lewis Hamilton, this man with whom he empathised and formed a bond so deep there were not words to describe it.
The man with whom he learnt to grow as a person and as a professional.
And with whom he experienced every possible emotion. He had loved and hated him, envied him and felt proud of, adored him and desired him..... Countless times.
But that made no difference to him or what Lewis represented to him.
He could never see Lewis as anything other than the love of his life.
And after going so deep, he couldn't answer anything but the absolute truth.
"Because it wasn't with you."
He didn't know if Lewis had understood what he meant, and he didn't have the courage and strength to look up and see his expression.
But one thing was obvious... in the vast, empty lobby they were in, the silence was deafening.
Sebastian could only hear his breathing, increasingly accelerated by the desperation and growing impatience inside him.
In his mind, there were only two options.
Say something, anything, and wait for Lewis to respond, or insist that he do so.
Or leave without further ado.
But then he felt Lewis move, and his boots appeared in his field of vision, just as a hand went to lay on his chest.
"Seb, look at me." It was a command, which he obeyed almost by instinct.
And it was at the precise instant that their gazes collided that their lips met.
Lewis gripped the fabric beneath his fingers, squeezing the shirt and drawing him a little closer, and yet the intensity of the grip was not matched by the softness of their mouths close together.
It was justhis lips pressed against Lewis', so warm and sweet as the man himself, and it was then that Sebastian snapped out of his shock and brought his hands to the brunet's cheeks as he tilted his head slightly so that he could deepen the kiss.
When Lewis pulled him closer too, their tongues barely brushed, almost accidentally, making Sebastian feel in his body the heat and the bursting feeling of falling in love.
He thought he was already in love with Lewis, but in that moment he felt himself falling again and again.
He was devoted to the man who was holding onto him for dear life, and so he felt this was his chance to give him all of himself.
His heartbeats, his ilusions, his dreams, his joys and sorrows... they all belonged to Lewis, after all.
But as Lewis had said, the intensity of the moment left them breathless, and they had to break apart.
That, but neither of them moved any extra centimetre than necessary, not risking a burst of the bubble they were in, suspended in time and space, gazing into each other's eyes with their foreheads resting together, their noses brushing affectionately and their fingers caressing the smooth skin they had access to.
"Oh Lew..." He whispered, almost cooing him, as he watched those beautiful dark orbs crystallise; even though his own were not far from letting out tears as well.
Lewis smiled shyly.
"And now...?"
~A first kiss that's kind of like a surprise at first, but then the kiss deepens before they have to break off to catch their breath?~
~an emotional kiss, a heartwarming loving kiss, of those you're suppose to share with your first love.~
"Yes."
Sebastian whispered, smiling, and claimed his lips again.